Image by Google Flow Nana Banana 2 Lite, instructed by me
Janie and I visited Shenley for the first time on the Saturday of this match during my first full season as a member of Middlesex CCC.
Shenley is a beautiful ground and a charming place to watch cricket. Any ground with a Corn Field End has to be a pleasant place to watch cricket in good weather. The weather smiled on us that day.
We ran into Alan Curtis and a very young Alex that day – I think Caroline might have been with them or perhaps Alan was relieving Caroline of the child-minding duties while being a top notch cricket dad by introducing Alex to cricket in his infancy. I mentioned this occasion when I proposed Alex for MCC membership in the early 2020s, as evidence of a lifetime of metaphorical “cricket sheep dip”.
Not that there are sheep at Shenley. Ought to be. There are plenty of sheep around Wormsley.
I was reminded to write this up as I was writing up the other visit Janie and I made to Shenley that season – to see a women’s test match for the first time:
Steeped in controversy, the 2002 visit to Trent Bridge. For reasons unbeknown to me, the idea of visiting Edgbaston in May for the early season test match there was rejected by the elders of The Heavy Rollers, in favour of this excursion.
The following e-mail from Nigel, dated 7 November 2001, sort-of explains.
Dear Jeff, Ian, David, Charles and Nick,
We agreed, I think, unanimously that we won’t resume our traditional places at Edgbaston this coming year given that it is taking place in May. However some mutterings abound for us to up sticks and try Trent Bridge. This would be for 8th and 9th August, in Nottingham, against India (2nd Test) and it would mean adding in some accommodation costs if we do the 2 days.
So, before I do anything, could you let me know if you are interested.
In the end, neither Jeff – who pulled out of this idea quite early, I think – nor Nigel – who ended up withdrawing at the last minute due to Viv’s sudden and unfortunate indisposition – attended that year.
Indeed, on subsequent occasions, there were even suggestions (mostly emanating from Jeff, I suspect) that 2002 should be scrubbed from the record of Heavy Rollers events, by dint of it not being at Edgbaston and neither featuring Jeff nor Nigel.
Unfortunately, there is nothing in the sacred texts of The Heavy Rollers to provide a categorical answer to this question. Something akin to Exodus 20, with its tablets of stone and explicit commandments, might provide unequivocal guidance. But Nigel’s revelation that led to the Heavy Rollers is less tangible than that:
My judgment on this point is clear. Nigel had organised the 2002 event and would have been there but for mishap. Ipso facto it was a Heavy Rollers occasion. Anyway, history is written and shaped by the victors; I am writing the history of The Heavy Rollers and I have deemed this most certainly to have been a Heavy Rollers event.
Importantly, 2002 was the first visit for several people who had, or have, a regular spot in The Heavy Rollers story – in particular Dan Steed and Harish Gohil.
Dan – at home with The Heavy Rollers in 2003Harish in 2004 – by then a regular Roller
There was also an early example of a “one hit wonder” guest appearance that year. Here is the cast list from 2002:
Harish “Harsha Goble” Gohil (a 2002 initiate);
Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett;
Nick “The Boy Malloy” Bartlett;
“Nick’s Mate” Matt (a one-hit wonder, Heavy Rollers-wise);
Me “Ged Ladd”
David “David Peel” Steed (second day only);
Dan “Dan Peel” Steed (a 2002 initiate – second day only).
We stayed in a hotel described in my records as Nottingham Premier Lodge. No Premier Inns go by that name now and there are several in Nottingham – it might have gone or it might have been this one…or at least one that looked like this – click here. It was functional, most certainly adequate, inexpensive, and also, it has to be said, rather soulless, as such places tend to be.
I seem to recall those of us who were staying at the hotel ahead of Day One (all but The Steeds) purchasing a picnic of sandwiches, drinks and snacks on the morning of the match on the way to the ground. Not yet the post-Steed fierce debates, about Doritos and the like, that latterly echoed through the hollow chamber of Harborne Waitrose on the morning of the match. Nor the beautifully crafted and curated picnics provided by Mrs Malloy to ease the pressure on the pre match Day One proceedings. For Day Two, I am pretty sure The Steeds brought with them a fine picnic for us all; that tended to be the Steed way.
In Jeff Tye’s absence, I picked up the mantle of running the prediction game…a mantle that Jeff, within a year or two, ended up leaving on my lap for posterity.
Below is the very first prediction game template that I produced.
The unfortunately absent Nigel had secured us excellent seats. For Day One we were at the front of the Fox Road Stand, for Day Two at the front of the Radcliffe Road End.
The match was badly rain-affected, such that we only got the equivalent of one day’s play across the two days; roughly two sessions on Day One and one session on Day Two.
I especially remember Dan Steed sensing that the authorities made sure, on Day Two, that we got precisely enough play to deny ticket refunds but no more than that. I suspect that the matter was coincidental rather than by design, but who knows?
On Day Two especially there were lengthy breaks in play – it was very disjointed. I recall someone (either Dan or Matt) buying one of those souvenir mini bat and ball kits, with which we (mostly me, Nick, Matt & Dan) engineered some quite enjoyable “yard cricket” around the back at the Radcliffe Road end.
We probably looked quite comical – I have asked Dall-E to help me to reimagine the scene:
Studying the scorecard, I realise that those of us who were there on Day One witnessed Steve Harmison‘s debut and those of us who were there on Day Two witnessed Harmison’s first two test wickets. Priceless treasures for our memories of live cricket-watching, those.
Observant readers/link-clickers of the above link will have spotted flag wavers in the crowd quite consistently waving the Flag of India, which, in their hands and the hands of most wavers, looks like this.
Flag of India, regular look
Unfortunately, Harish went his own way with the waving of his India flag at the front of the Fox Road Stand, waving the flag thusly:
Flag of India, Harish style
Some India supporters spotted Harish and his flag and approached him. They gently explained to him that he was wielding the flag upside down. They also kindly explained to Harish and to all of us the significance of the colour scheme; the green symbolising the land of India, the orange symbolising the glow of the sun above that land.
I have never forgotten their explanation and would henceforward be very sure which is the right or wrong way up…and why.
In a similar “never to be forgotten” vein, we Heavy Rollers have never let Harish forget the Indian flag incident, just to make absolutely sure that Harish never makes that same mistake again. We think of it as an act of kindness and educational policy to remind him about the matter at least once every four years when England play India…and sometimes on other occasions too.
Naturally, Harish’s trademark smile doesn’t leave his face when we are having such conversations.
I remember Harish cheering when England took a wicket, which to me seemed anomalous with the waving of an India flag. I asked him who he supports when England played India. His reply, typically Harish, I paraphrase:
I love it when England play India, because whoever wins, my team has won.
I was reminded of this wonderful attitude recently, when chatting with one of my real tennis friends from Leamington, who said, again I paraphrase:
I always win when I play real tennis. I am on court playing a game I love. That’s a win. I am spending time with friends I want to spend time with. That’s also a win. I also try to win the match I am playing, but even if I don’t win that, I already have won two out of three.
I think this attitude translates also to Heavy Rollersism. Of course we want to see our team do well and go on to win. But even on the occasions when it doesn’t go so well for England…or on the rare occasions when we see little or no play, it is still two wins out of three because we are watching the game we love with people with whom we want to spend our time. That Nigel was on to something when the Heavy Rollers idea was revealed to him from behind the curtains in 1995.
…the second match has almost totally evaded my memory. It existed. I have e-mail and diary evidence for it.
Here’s Charles “Charley the Gent Malloy” Bartlett’s shout out from 9 July 2002:
CRICKET MATCH – SUNDAY 4 AUGUST
I am delighted to say that we have arranged a cricket fixture a against a village cricket side called Tuffty Stackpole at their home ground in a village called North Crawley – it’s a 15 minute drive from the Milton Keynes turnoff on the M1 Motorway.
Some of you may remember we played them last Summer, it was a great day, great cricket, great food, great pubs and in beautiful surroundings – there is a small cover charge towards the food and refreshments.
I originally met members of Tufty Stackpole on TCS Treks in China and Peru, they are keen supporters of TCS, and monies from the cricket match will go towards sponsorship for other TCS Treks (sadly theirs not mine!).
The match will start around mid-day and be a 40 over match (that’s 40 overs each!) – we will probably need a number of 12th men, for cover and substitutes, along with scorers as there is a full size scoreboard.
There will be a number of cars travelling, so transport should not be a problem, I expect everyone to be fixed up with a lift – there and back.
Please advise me on your availability ASAP.
This time around, Janie and I took the precaution of booking out the whole of the Monday following the match. We had a busy weekend ahead of the match, with a night at the Proms on the Saturday preceding.
Reflecting on my absence of memory for this fixture, I even wondered whether the match had been cancelled at the last minute due to an inability to get a team together or inclement weather.
But no.
Janie remembers attending one in which Tufty Stackpole soundly thrashed The Children’s Society – to such an extent that everyone agreed that it would not make sense to repeat the exercise unless or until the Children’s Society could muster a better eleven to give Tufty Stackpole a decent game.
That must have been this second match. The thrashing factor, together with the need to pull together a better squad, might at least in part explain why the fixture didn’t happen again until 2004.
We had no Biff this time around, no Martin Hinks and no Nigel “Father Barry”. “Big Papa Zambezi” Jeff Tye was there, as was Harish “Harsha Goble” Gohil. Janie thinks she remembers having a long and pleasant chat with Liz Tye on that surprisingly inclement August watching occasion, although that nice chat might have been another year of course.
The only other clues in my e-mail archive include a note from me to Chas on 31 July 2002 suggesting initials for some of us in a desperate attempt to make us sound more like real cricketers:
Perhaps
CPU Bartlett JFDI Tye ICT Harris HTTP Gohil
Also an e-mail exchange between me and Chas after the event, on 16 August 2002, which shows we clearly had “strengthening the team for Tufty on our minds.
ME: Z/Yen is probably close to signing a lapsed but formerly decent club standard player, who would also be suitable and willing for the Tufty fixture.
CHAS: I think I am concerned at this remark by you – because I do not believe it. It is clearly designed to strengthen your team for the annual fixture at Regents Park against TCS!!. Will you stop at nothing to win that trophy?
ME: Nothing.
That hiring, I should say parenthetically, was Mark “Uncail Marcas” Yeandle, who did turn out for Z/Yen a good few times, but never did turn out for TCS against Tufty Stackpole. Probably, in Chas’s memory, Mark is best known for what he does best at cricket…watching. He has joined us several times, e.g. the never-to-be-forgotten 5th day of the 5th Test at the Oval in 2005 and the occasion at Lord’s in 2010 which Chas refers to as “The Day Of The Monster Strawberries” which came courtesy of Mark:
Returning to August 2002, the other thing that will have weakened my memory for this Tufty match is that it was just a few days before we headed off for our Heavy Rollers adventure at Trent Bridge that year:
In short, I need help from other people who were at this second ever Tufty Stackpole v The Children’s Society match if we are to pull together anything more authoritative about the match than this.
Perhaps some of the Tufty folk have better memories of it and might be encouraged to chime in with their thoughts. If there is a scorebook somewhere in the North Crawley archives, with the details of the Tufty Stackpole v The Children’s Society matches, scans of those pages would add greatly to the record here.
We have no pictures from 2002 either. So, as it is, I have had to collaborate sparsely with Dall-E to generate some sort of pictorial record of the two sides.
Tufty Stackpole cricketers in 2002The Children’s Society cricketers in 2002
This was I think the one occasion that the three Z/Yen directors: me, Michael Mainelli & Jeremy Smith, all gathered at a cricket match at the same time. We also had three guests: Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett, Bob Reitemeier & Brendan May.
Those were the days, eh? When a priority booking subscription got you six tickets together for an Ashes test.
E-mail correspondence on these matters was still rare in those days. Indeed the only e-mail reference I can find is a thank you message of sorts from Michael:
Again, great cricket day out. I really see why they call it testing.
The contents of my picnic are therefore lost in the mists of time. But I suspect that smoked salmon bagels would have featured, even then. Not the Alaskan stuff that Charles fell in love with subsequently – that wasn’t widely available in 2001. But Brendan (MSC) and I (Z/Yen) were working on it.
Village Cricket At the Turn Of The 21st Century – by Dall-E & Me
We interrupt The History of The Heavy Rollers to cover a related (and soon to be overlapping) activity: Tufty Stackpole v The Children’s Society cricket matches. In the same way that we cannot entirely separate the birth of Z/Yen charity cricket matches…
…several of the people involved in Heavy Rollers outings in the first decade of this century were friends from the Tufty Stackpole matches.
Much like the early Heavy Rollers outings, there is precious little actual evidence from the events. The odd e-mail but no photos and no contemporaneous match reports. Only memories, which might be flawed or partial. Strangely, I have very strong memories of the first Tufty match and almost none of the second. Hopefully others who participated can chime in with comments and help me to improve the pieces.
The initial shout out for the first Tufty Stackpole match came from Charles Bartlett on 29 May:
Game against ‘Tuffty Stackpole’ (I met members of this team on the TCS trek’s in China and Peru). They are a village side and take their cricket very seriously. So experience will be useful. The match is arranged to be played on Sunday 15 July at their ground at North Crawley which is near Milton Keynes
Students of historical research based on e-mail trawling will realise why this e-mail was hard to find in my archive 20+ years later – note Chas’s spelling of “Tufty”.
It was quite a late night for us on the Saturday night in Halifax. Mike and Lottie sure know how to make guests welcome. I’m sure some especially juicy red wine will have flowed to accompany excellent beef and other culinary delights late in the evening after the show.
But that didn’t really matter, as we knew that we had time in the morning to take a breakfast at the Imperial Crown and get most of the way back down the M1 in plenty of time.
Actually we half expected to be stopping only briefly on our way home, as the weather was poor and the forecast, on Saturday, for the next day, yet poorer.
But in the morning, when I turned on the Ceefax (this was back in the days before smart phones and internet access on the fly), the simple weather chart suggested that the shoddy weather was at its worst in the North of England…and in the South of England, with the Midlands, including Beds/Bucks/Northants borders villages such as North Crawley, spared the rain and expecting sunshine.
We motored through driving rain until just after Sheffield – thereafter the weather looked promising to the point of looking like cricket weather. When we got there, we learnt that those travelling from the south had experienced similar poor weather until they got a few miles north of the M25.
Lovely village. Lovely cricket ground in the village. Great bunch of local people too. Tufty Stackpole was basically the veterans side of a “proper” village team. These people could play.
The Children’s Society team had its own weapons for that first fixture. Nigel “Father Barry” Hinks was with us, along with his uber-enthusiastic brother Martin. “Big Papa Zambezi” Jeff Tye brought his mate Biff with him:
Probably the best batsman in the county never to have played for Northamptonshire…
…said Jeff…and you don’t argue with Jeff when he’s talking up his mate.
The Children’s Society also had Charley “The Gent Malloy” Bartlett, me and a few other enthusiasts of no fixed ability.
My abiding memories of the cricket that day are quite strong.
Most of the enduring Tufty folk were there that first time: Geoff Young, Glenn Young (I think), Ian Cooper, Trevor Cooper, Nick Cooper, Trevor Stapleton, Mike Archer, Nick Church (I think) plus the gentleman who sometimes kept wicket whose name I never learnt but whom we nicknamed “Builder’s Bum” because of his appearance when wicket-keeping.
With thanks to Dall-E, which couldn’t quite bring the troos down to builders’ level
We didn’t really have the bowling depth to put the Tufty batting line up under too much pressure. Nigel bowled well and took a couple of wickets, but in a 40 over match each bowler can only bowl 8 overs. Martin was quite useful with the ball too, but there were still 24 other overs to try and escape from;
It didn’t help to have several fielders of my “quality” in the long grass. I think it was at that first Tufty match that I juggled a couple of would-be catches but basically spilled them, much to the chagrin of my skipper and team mates – not that I was the only fielder to spill catches;
Martin kept encouraging his older brother, Nigel, to field closer and closer in the hope of snaffling a catch off his bowling. Frankly Martin’s bowling wasn’t really good enough to justify insanely close fielding. Eventually one came straight to Nigel at high speed, which he took, partly in self-defence but a clean catch. The bruise was visible at the back as well as the front of Nigel’s hand within seconds. Barely a wince. Brave lad;
Tufty Stackpole made plenty. Still, we had some weaponry in the batting department, so preserved an element of hope while everyone tucked in to one of the quintessentially English summer village cricket match teas, provided by, I’m pretty sure, the Merry Wives Of Tufty Stackpole. Derry Young was almost certainly involved in that aspect;
I asked Dall-E to help me reproduce the look of such a cricket tea – indeed there I am enjoying a cuppa in a virtual village hall before a lavish spread:
I was scheduled to bat 7 or 8, so I umpired at the start of the resumption;
Biff was clearly a proper batsman, but he hadn’t played for ages and kept complaining to me bitterly, whenever he got down to my end, that he wasn’t timing it properly and that he was finding it all very difficult after all this time. I tried to boost Biff’s confidence by telling him, truthfully, that he was, relatively speaking, in the context of our game, batting extremely well. Also that he would get back into the swing of it as the innings progressed;
Chas was one of the earlier wickets to fall and took over from me umpiring when the third or fourth wicket fell;
Nigel batted one place ahead of me. Biff was still batting well and keeping us just about in the game when Nigel joined him at the crease. Nigel himself can tell you the extent to which he was able to bat normally with such a badly bruised hand. I do recall Nigel getting his eye in and then launching at least one big straight six. At that point, just for a very short while, some of us perhaps dreamt of victory. But Nigel’s attempt to replicate the six resulted in a clattering noise behind him and it was my turn to bat;
I joined Biff and again tried to boost his confidence, which, given that he had by then scored well north of 50 and might even have been thinking of 100, he was still chastising himself for not batting as well as he used to decades earlier when he batted regularly. “Problem is”, he said, “I’m completely exhausted now. Do we have to keep running ones and twos?” My problem, of course, is that I don’t really have shots at all, so ones is probably the best you can hope for unless I take absurd risks. Biff was by now so tired that his scoring shots were not quite making it to the boundary so we did run a few twos;
Eventually Biff played a tired shot and was out. It was an honour for me to have shared the crease with him for a while. We were still some way from the Tufty’s score and frankly we knew we didn’t have the batting to score at the requisite rate, which might have been something like 80 runs needed off 8 or 9 overs at that stage. Big Papa Zambezi Jeff joined me at the crease with the instruction, “we’re to bat for the draw”;
This instruction was playing to my extremely limited skills as a batsman – i.e. to prevent a competent but tiring bowling attack from getting me out. It transpired that Jeff had similar skills. We frustrated the Tufty Stackpole bowlers and managed to extract some honour from that first match by not being bowled out.
…North Crawley has two pubs and the cricket club is honour bound to divide its business between the two. Over the years we certainly tried both.
We enjoyed the post-match conviviality for quite a while and revelled in raising a goodly sum for the charity. I remember that Janie and I got home quite late, ahead of punishingly early starts the next morning. We only made that mistake the once, opting to take the morning or even the whole Monday off after subsequent Tufty matches.
Yes, the big fuss is for that little urn. Do you have a problem with this?
In November 2000, there will have been an outbreak of joy in several households, not least mine, when we received the following missive from Nigel Hinks:
Just to confirm that despite “unprecedented interest” (Warwickshire CC) TICKETS have been secured in usual places (Priory Stand Row A 12-17) for the above.
Cost of £67 (32 Thursday+35 Friday). Payable as soon as you like………
Haven’t yet spoken with David. No assumptions about Wadderton or indeed David as ‘catering manager’. Just book it in the diaries and look at it throughout the winter months!!!
Nigel
Needless to say, Wadderton & David Steed’s catering management came through.
Nick “The Boy Malloy” Bartlett (like me, a 1999 initiate);
Me “Ged Ladd”.
The mists of time have left a mystery, nay even controversy, surrounding the absence of Nick Bartlett in 2000. I’ll leave that debate for others to argue out in articles other than this one…or possibly in court if the debate gets too adversarial.
Differently controversially, my team of mascots, which had included Henry The Duck & Hippity the Green Bunny in 2000, was increased by the addition of Bananarama Monkey-Face in 2001.
Bananarama Monkey-face in 2004, no doubt “in care” having been rescued from Jeff’s clutchesDaisy & I were adopted by Bananarama Monkey-Face in Pickering in July 2000. This image from his post trauma writing phase in 2014.
I don’t suppose that Nigel’s 1995 vision included duck, bunny & monkey mascots, but that simply shows that revelations of that kind only reveal part of the future story. It also shows that, to some extent, you should always beware what you wish for, even if it is something as wonderful and enduring as The Heavy Rollers.
Actually it was Jeff Tye who seemed least pleased with the mascot contingent and took some pains over the forthcoming years to ease them out of the picture.
Many of us had a sense of foreboding about the 2001 Ashes, despite the seeming opposite from some of us in the November 2000 e-mail bants:
Jeff: What a prospect – the tide has turned – England 480 for 8 after 2days in Pakistan – just imagine the score after 2 days against Australia at Edgbaston – the book is already open Charles !!!!
Me: I just hope those Aussies can last two whole days.
Chas: I do not wish to sound unpatriotic, but the Aussies will give us the most extreme test of our cricketing abilities!
Our sense of foreboding was more than justified. Here is the match scorecard. The sense that England might somehow be in with a shout dissipated soon after lunch on Day One.
I’m pretty sure this was the match at which Charles managed to persuade some autograph-hunting youngsters that Nick was Andrew Flintoff, watching with us from the front row of the Priory Stand.
Nick BartlettFreddie Flintoff
You can see for yourselves above that this must have been an easy scam to pull off, especially with Nick ‘s poker face showing no sign whatsoever that this was a lark.
Nevertheless, a few dopey kids lined up and collected Nick’s forgery of Freddie Flintoff’s autograph.
Frankly, I think Charles might easily have passed himself off as Freddie Flintoff at that time. Again, judge for yourselves.
Freddie Flintoff setting a fieldCharles Bartlett setting a field
Joking apart, and despite the fact that the memories of these matches, writing them up more than 20 years later, are quite faded, I do recall that we had a superb time yet again.
I also recall that, on the Friday afternoon, I popped out to the loo, anticipating an hour or so more of play, but when I came out of the loo the heavens had opened and everyone was pouring out of the stands. Nigel very kindly gathered up my things, rescuing Henry, Hippity and Bananarama-Monkey-Face from what could have been a very soggy demise.
As well as rescuing “my boys”, Nigel must also have rescued Jeff Tye’s “betting sheets” for the prediction game, which ended up in my hands for computation that year – perhaps for the first time but certainly not the last. Those relics remain with me to this day – here they are:
Unmistakably you can see Jeff’s templates with Jeff’s writing all over them…until you get to the computations which are in my trademark scrawl. I note that the going rate at that time was just 20p per punter per line.
I think several people had brought cars with them to the church grounds near Edgbaston Stadium with a view to driving home from the ground on the second day. Nigel kindly took me to the railway station on his way out of town. Our correspondence that weekend (I peppered his e-mail with comments):
Nigel: Hope you got home ok. Friday. We experienced the most amazing flooding in suburban Harborne after we dropped you off.
Me: Hope it didn’t hold you up too much – I got home c20.40
Nigel: Ah well we got the best couple of days and possibly the day of the series.
Me: almost certainly
Nigel: Shame about the collapse today again. But what a knock from Gilchrist who you fancied….just as well he didn’t get in on Friday!
Me: Yup
By November 2001, though, we were lining up for a breach of tradition in 2002. Nigel again:
Dear Jeff, Ian, David, Charles and Nick,
We agreed, I think, unanimously that we won’t resume our traditional places at Edgbaston this coming year given that it is taking place in May.
However some mutterings abound for us to up sticks and try Trent Bridge.
This would be for 8th and 9th August, in Nottingham, against India (2nd Test) and it would mean adding in some accommodation costs if we do the 2 days.
So, before I do anything, could you let me know if you are interested.
How did that all pan out? Well, unless you can remember, you’ll simply have to await the next exciting episode to find out.
This was the first of several occasions I treated The Duchess, Daisy’s (Janie’s) mum, as well as Janie, to a day at the Lord’s test match.
My diary tells me that I booked The Tavern Concourse for this day, which suggests to me that this match – basically part of a warm up mini series ahead of that summer’s Ashes – had not sold well to the members, so an opportunity arose for the hoi polloi (as I then was – not even a member of Middlesex yet) to snap up some decent seats. Ironically, these days, as a member, I tend to choose to sit in that “despised” members area precisely because it tends populated by cricket loving members & friends, many of whom are also my tennis pals.
Returning to May 2001, I no doubt had made The Duchess envious with talk of my new-found test cricket pals and exploits the previous season…
Anyway, I scored three tickets for the Friday of the England v Pakistan test of 2001, little knowing that Day Two would in effect become Day One, as the first day was a washout.
In 2001, washouts at Lord’s could still easily spill into the second day, as this was before the laying of the wonderful modern drainage system, which I think was done some 18 months later.
But we were in luck. The weather improved, Lord’s properly dried out, and we got a full day of cricket.
Phew.
Because it would have been my fault had we not got much or any cricket.
Not only that, but we saw England do rather well, albeit going slowly, losing only four wickets in the day. We saw Michael Atherton, Marcus Trescothick, Nasser Hussein, Michael Vaughan and Graham Thorpe all score runs. Thorpe’s innings was the highlight. We even saw Ryan Sidebottom score four as nightwatchman.
The Duchess no doubt told us many times over that Howard had been a MEMBER of the MCC at Lord’s and that she would have hung out with him the pavilion if only they had allowed in women. Instead, she hung out with him in the Tavern at Lord’s – this stand where we are sitting used to be the actual front of The Tavern you know…and of course she would always be with Howard in the pavilion at the Oval, where they would frequently have a drink with people like Dennis [Compton], Ted [Dexter], Peter [May], Ken [Barrington], Tony [Locke], Jim [Laker], The Bedser Twins, Keith [Miller], Ray [Lindwall], Neil [Harvey] and of course dear, dear Richie…
…I hope I’m not boring you all, dear readers.
“…and another thing…”
Janie’s LA Cabs receipt from that day is, for reasons unknown, still in her diary. £25 to pick up The Duchess, then pick up us, and take us all to Lord’s.
I have documentary evidence to prove that I went to the Oval on the first day of the fifth test. Not much was arranged by e-mail in those days, but I wrote an e-mail to TMS. I was reminded of same, today (13 January 2017) as a result of some discussions about left and right-handedness on King Cricket – click here – which triggered a memory that I possess a great essay on the subject in The Boundary Book: Second Innings.
I found the book. Marking that very essay in my copy of The Boundary Book: Second Innings was a printout of the following e-mail, to TMS:
In the hope & expectation that Nagamootoo will be selected for the Oval, try this limerick for size.
There is a young man Nagamootoo,
Who the girls find it hard to stay true to;
He’s a little too shy,
Like the song by that guy,
Named Limahl from the group Kajagoogoo.
Do look out for us today, near the front of the Peter May North Stand. A monkey, a green rabbit, four chaps (including two American rookies trying test cricket for the first time) and a yellow duck named Henry. Henry bears more than a passing resemblance to Henry Blofeld.
Ian
Earlier that same summer at the first test with the Heavy Rollers, plus Hippity the Green Bunny, Henry the Duck but no monkey. The monkey joined our household later.
We met Bananarama Monkey-Face in Pickering in early July 2000. This photo from 2014, after he’d established his own small-time writing career.
FALSE MEMORY PARAGRAPH
I have a feeling that the first day of the fifth test must be the occasion that Jeremy, Michael and I went together, with the additional American Rookie being a client or prospective client of Michael’s who turned out to have the attention span of a flea. He watched for about 5 or 10 minutes, got bored, wandered off and made us feel thoroughly irritated, as we knew loads of people who would have loved that hot ticket. As Michael said afterwards, “I’m not making that mistake again”.
CORRECTED MEMORY PARAGRAPH
Following an e-mail trawl for other summer 2000 matters, I realise that the above memory is false, or rather a memory from a later year/test match day. On 31 August 2000 the attendees were:
me
Michael “Timothy Tiberelli” Mainelli
Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett
Bob “Big Mac” Reitemeier (this pseudonym previously unused, but in the grand tradition of On The Waterfront characters as pseudonyms).
Both Michael and Bob were suitably interested in the cricket and indeed both have attended first class cricket and/or played several times since their initiation that day. Perhaps Charles also has some memories of that day. Big Mac e-mailed to say:
I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed the day. I must admit that I did follow the events on Friday, Saturday and Sunday with some interest following my induction on Thursday. Great stuff. The hook has been planted…
What about Monday?
But far more importantly, Aggers clearly liked my limerick a lot, because I heard him read it out at one point and learned that he broadcast it more than once during the day on that first day of the match.
I got very excited on the Friday, as Clean Business Cuisine (still available at all good bookshops, both on-line and real world) had just come out and we were promoting it heavily, so I got our book PR lass, Tanya, to bike a copy of the book to the TMS team at the Oval with a note of thanks re the limerick. I am now sure that such effort and expense is utterly futile. We live and learn.
That evening (the Friday) Janie and I saw Anthea and Mitchell. My diary says so. On the Saturday evening we saw Maz – my diary says so. I think it was her goodbye party ahead of going off to Malawi. A trawl of Janie’s diaries (and other people’s memories) at some stage in the future might well retrieve more stuff about those two evenings.
Monday 4 September 2000
Somehow, England, a shocking test match side at the time, had got itself ahead in a series against the (once) mighty West Indies (heck, they still had Walsh and Ambrose in those days, ageing though they might have been).
Going into the final test, England were 2-1 up. And now England were poised, in a great position to win the historic match and series on Day 5.
Several of us recovered our memories for that piece and commented. Here’s my comment about 4 September 2000:
I remember taking an early call from Big “Papa Zambezi” Jeff on the final day of the series, wondering whether I wanted to join him on a walk-up expedition south of the river (Thames, not Zambezi) to the Oval. He reckoned we’d still get good seats walking up Day 5 and it turned out he was right. But I had unmovable client commitments that day (long since forgotten by me and probably the clients), so he walked up and got splendid seats for an historic day without me. I made amends by buying Day 5 seats for the Oval in 2005 as a precautionary measure; Big “Papa Zambezi” Jeff was one of the beneficiaries of that forethought.
Well I have now looked up my diary and can see exactly what I did that day. I was sort-of on a deadline with an important report. Plus lots of calls. But I did have some slack that week.
Could I have burned some midnight oil and caught up? Of course I could.
Should I have gone with Jeff that day? Of course I should.
I came across an entry in my diary for 24 August 2000 which had me completely…
…forgive the pun…
stumped.
17:00 Children’s Society, Regent’s Park
I couldn’t remember a thing about this event. It certainly wasn’t a Z/Yen thing.
Following some archaeology on the old e-mails, I ascertained that this was some sort of a match between The Children’s Society and Cable and Wireless; but still nothing came back to my memory.
It was clear from the e-mail trail that both Nigel and Chas had been involved with this match, so I wrote to both of them to see if they had any recollection of this event.
I needn’t have worried – yes they did.
Their replies were so comprehensive…
…and amusing…
…that with a little bit of sub-editing they made a very jolly two-hander for the King Cricket website, which published the piece in January 2018 – click here or below to read the piece.
To my mind, this is one of the wonderful things about Ogblog – an opportunity to re-engage such memories. Sometimes an event that was not so memorable for me might have been, for some reason, especially memorable for someone else.
Nigel – still shouting from the rooftops about the August 2000 match, perhaps?
Janie (Daisy) and I weren’t there for the tense ending of that match either. But we were nearby – there in spirit if not in body.
We had been eagerly following the match all day.
But that day was also the birthday of Daisy’s mother, The Duchess of Castlebar. I had bought tickets for the three of us to see a Bach concert at the Wigmore Hall for that evening.
Janie had quite recently acquired a taste for chamber concert halls and baroque music, perhaps a year or two earlier. The Duchess tended to prefer large scale concerts of the Proms variety; we mostly booked those for her. But the Proms don’t get going until a bit later in the summer and it was the 250th anniversary of Bach’s death that year. So Bach at The Wig it was to be.
Anyway, that afternoon the Lord’s Test Match was beautifully poised and/but for reasons I cannot recall – had there been a lot of overnight rain? – the day’s play had been delayed and was playing out until quite late.
The Duchess is an avid follower of the cricket as well as a music aficionado. We called her to let her know that we were on the way to collect her. We could all listen to the ending of the cricket match together on the car radio on our way to The Wig.
As we drove to the Duchess’s residence, England wickets fell and the match seemed to be drifting in The West Indies direction. Daisy and I anticipated a dark mood and we were not disappointed.
Thrown it away, they’ve thrown it away…
…said The Duchess. We set off for Marylebone (the southern end thereof).
The Duchess explained to us, as she had several times before, that Denis (Compton), Ted (Dexter), Colin (Cowdrey) Ken (Barrington), Geoffrey (Boycott) and players of that ilk – whom she had met together with her late husband in the good old days- would not have thrown it away like this.
We arrived at The Wigmore Hall. England hadn’t lost a wicket for a while. Was it possible that they could snatch victory from the very jaws of defeat?
Daisy parked up – it was a warm sunny evening so we sat in the car with the roof open and the car radio on, listening to the denouement of the cricket match.
The Duchess Of Castlebar
Try to imagine the scene, dear reader, as it must have looked to passing tourists who understand little or nothing about cricket. A distinguished-looking septuagenarian with her family sitting in a car leaping around in their seats, oohing and aahing every 45 seconds or so as the commentator spoke.
Then, those same seemingly dignified folk whooping with joy for a while, before sealing up the car and entering the Wigmore Hall. Tourists: meet the English.
Basically it was an organ recital of JS Bach works by Jennifer Bate. When you click that preceding link you get some eye candy as well as the organist in question, as Jennifer Bate shares her name with a subsequent Miss England and sporting WAG.
Click the pic to read about the organist Jennifer Bate
It was a fine concert of mostly well-known Bach organ works. An example of one of the pieces (Bach after Vivaldi as it happens) can be seen and heard below.
To be precise, extracted from my log, we heard:
Johann Sebastian Bach – Chorale Partita BWV 767
Johann Sebastian Bach – Prelude and Fugue in D Minor BWV 539
Johann Sebastian Bach – Sonata No 4 in E Minor BWV 539
Johann Sebastian Bach – Chorale Prelude BWV 740
Johann Sebastian Bach & Johann Ernst – Concerto No 4 in C BWV 595
Johann Sebastian Bach & Antonio Lucio Vivaldi – Concerto No 2 in A minor BWV 593
Johann Sebastian Bach – Pastorale in F BWV 590
Johann Sebastian Bach – Chorale Prelude BWV 645
Johann Sebastian Bach – Fugue in G BWV 577
A sad coda to this Ogblog piece was the discovery that Jennifer Bate died in March 2020, just a few weeks before I wrote this piece.
Here’s another video of her playing one of the pieces we heard that night; Concerto in C BWV 595 (Ernst arr. Bach).
Below is the sort-of programme handed out on the night – it wouldn’t be an organ recital without an organ appeal, now would it?
