Category: Friends and Family Events

Reduced To Tears By My First Consultancy Assignment, 27 January 1989

No-one said it was going to be easy, switching from freshly qualified Chartered Accountant to hot shot management consultant as soon as I qualified.

But there was one low point towards the end of my first consultancy assignment for Binder Hamlyn, trying to resolve a seemingly irreconcilable problem for Save The Children Fund (SCF), thus named back then, when I spread all of my hand-written notes and attempted spaghetti-looking work flow and data flow diagrams all over the living room of my little then-rented flat in Clanricarde Gardens…

…and burst into tears.

Quite a lengthy burst if I remember correctly. Four minutes, possibly, which you might choose to time by listening to the following while reading on:

Why hadn’t I listened to the recruitment agent who said that I needed a lot more work experience before I’d be ready for management consultancy?

Why didn’t I walk out of the job on day one, when I learnt that I had been recruited as part of a turf war and that the person who was now to be my boss, Michael Mainelli, had been angered by other partners recruiting me while Michael was away on a short break?

And of all the tough “sink or swim” assignments Michael might have allocated me to at the very start of this seemingly-soon-to-be-foreshortened career, why did it have to be something my heart really was in – a project that might, if successful, substantially help SCF, one of the most important charities in the world?

Of course, you realise, the story has a happy enough ending. Michael and I are still working together thirty years later (as I write in January 2019) – for most of that time in the business we founded together in 1994: Z/ Yen:

Þe Chronique Of Primordyall Z/Yen: Þe First Part – Sumer Is Icomen In, Spring 1994

I also met Ian Theodoreson, then a young, up-and-coming Finance Director at SCF. Ian continued to be a client on and off throughout the decades and we have remained in touch even since he gave up on major charity roles – e.g. this get together last year.

Two Sweltering Days At Lord’s, The First With Ian Theodoreson, The Second With Rohan Candappa – Part One: With Ian T, 23 July 2018

Yes, somehow the project did turn out to be a success. After the tears, I realised that I needed to focus the report on the evidence-based conclusions I had reached and the single bright idea I had come up with in the several weeks I had spent with SCF.

Little did I know back then that:

  • having even one bright idea during a 20 day assignment is a significant success if that idea is helpful/valuable enough and finds enough favour to be implemented;
  • the seemingly irreconcilable problem I encountered at SCF was an example of a perennial problem in all organisations that have potentially complex relationships with their customers, members or donors. If you can even partially solve or make progress despite that “natural fault line”, you’ve done well;
  • this single assignment would prove to be career-defining for me in so many ways. In part because it cemented my place at Binder Hamlyn working with Michael as well as other partners. In part because I still spend much of my working time with charities and membership organisations (albeit looking at wider issues). In part because many of the things I learnt on that challenging assignment stood me in good stead for later challenges in the subsequent decades.

Ogblog is primarily a “life” retroblog, not a “work” one, so this piece is a rarity – perhaps even a one-off – being more work than life. But this period was such a major change for me, not least in shifting my work-life balance substantially towards work for several decades, that I feel bound to write it up. I also spotted some intriguing notes on the diary pages for those first few weeks of January 1989.

Compared with late 1988, this is almost all work, not much life.
That meeting with Ian Theodoreson on 10 January will have been my first formal meeting with Ian and possibly even the first time I met him at all, although we might have had a “canteen chat” in Mary Datchelor House (the SCF offices back then) before we met formally. I was making a point of being visible in the canteen for informal chats throughout the project; a technique I had leaned from my Student Union sabbatical experience just a few years earlier. I also note that I had spelt Ian’s surname incorrectly back in 1989, a mistake I was to repeat (differently) on the acknowledgements page of the hard cover edition of Price of Fish. Sorry, again, Ian.
Again, lots of work, not all that much life there. A second meeting with Ian, now mis-spelling his name in the same way as The Price of Fish error – at least some sort of consistency set in. Hannah and Peter on the Thursday evening are my neighbours from downstairs. Peter is still downstairs – Hannah (Peter’s mum) returned to Germany some years ago and is spending her dotage there. I cannot remember the evening of 22 January 1989 with Caroline – I’ll guess that I cooked Caroline dinner at Clanricarde given the time and lack of other information in the diary. Caroline has reciprocated – most recently at the time of writing a week or so ago!
The amusing entry on this page is the morning of 25 January. Someone suggested that I visit Barnardo’s by way of comparison with SCF. I’m not sure who provided the above assistance for my journey, but it reads:

Barkingside St. [Station] Church – beside it c60s US “Prison”

Anyone who has visited the Barnardo’s campus would recognise that “1960s US Prison” description and it should make them smile. It would be ironic if it had been Ian Theodoreson who provided that helpful description for my journey, as he subsequently spent many years as Director of Corporate Services there and I did several assignments at that Barnardo’s campus, in the late 1990s and early years of this century.

Please also note “G Jenny” in small writing for 26th evening and then again on the Saturday afternoon. I know that I deferred my visit to Grandma Jenny 26th because I had a report deadline looming…

…in fact the “evening of tears” might have been 26th not 27th…

…but I also know that the report deadline was really for the Monday morning, when I needed to go into the office with the report ready for review. So I also remember postponing Grandma Jenny again on the Saturday, while dinner with Jilly I think went ahead after I finished my draft report on the Saturday.

I put Grandma Jenny back into the book for the following Tuesday and I’m sure I will have gone that evening. She forgave me for the multiple rescheduling I’m sure, especially when she learnt that I was doing work for a charity in which she believed strongly. I also remember her imparting the following worldly advice to me several times during that era:

all work and no joy makes Jack a dull boy.

Well of course there was joy as well as work during those “hard yards” weeks and months at the start of my consultancy career. But I don’t suppose there was much joy inside my tears on that evening, when I thought it was all going horribly wrong.

Maybe I even cried for the six-and-a-half minutes it takes to listen to this Dowland-ish Stevie Wonder song.

Smelling A Rat by Mike Leigh, Hampstead Theatre, Then Jilly’s Party, 14 January 1989

This was at the old Hampstead Theatre – the portacabin-like place quite near the new Hampstead (i.e. also Swiss Cottage). The place had a proud tradition by 1989, not least in the matter of Mike Leigh plays.

What a fine cast – as always with Mike Leigh who seems to be a magnet for talent – including Timothy Spall, Saskia Reeves and Brid Brennan.

I do remember really liking this play/production. It was, in some ways, the sort of cheesy farce I tend not to like. But being Mike Leigh, it was sort-of an antidote to such farces, much as Noises Off by Michael Frayn is sort-of farce, sort-of antidote.

Here is the Theatricalia link for this play/production.

Dramaonlinelibrary.com has a synopsis of the play – click here.

Below is Kate Kellaway’s Observer review:

Kellaway on SmellingKellaway on Smelling Sun, Dec 11, 1988 – 41 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Michael Billington’s Guardian Review:

Billington on SmellingBillington on Smelling Tue, Dec 13, 1988 – 35 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

I went to see this one with Bobbie – I wonder whether or not she remembers much about it…

…or whether Bobbie remembers much about Jilly’s party at the latter’s Nether Street residence?

I think it was at this particular Jilly party that I had a long conversation with one of Jilly’s scientist friends about nuclear fusion technologies, which we reprised some 20-25 years later at a subsequent Jilly gathering.

A full and enjoyable evening.

The Last Week Of December 1988

A person with a watch knows the time. A person with two watches can never sure what the time is.

But the “two diaries” bit seems to work out OK in this instance, with the old diary showing my Christmas activities and the new one showing that I started my “work during Twixtmas” tradition long ago.

25 December 1988: Ma Pa and G Jenny for tea, Benjamins for dinner. Stayed Ma and Pas.

Thinking about the logistics of all this – I think mum and dad must have picked up Grandma Jenny in Surbiton, brought her to my flat for tea (possibly the first time they saw Clanricarde Gardens and in Grandma Jenny’s case quite possibly the only time). At Doreen and Stanley Benjamin’s in Putney we were possibly joined by Jane and Lisa and one or both of their respective beau’s/future husbands if they were around at that time. Also Doreen’s mum, Jessie Jackson, would have been there if she was still with us in 1988.

26 December 1988: Lunch at Ma and Pas returned home early evening

No record in either diary of what I did on the bank holiday Tuesday nor the Wednesday. Perhaps I was so knackered by the activities of the preceding few weeks that i simply took the opportunity to work soft and play soft.

The diary marking SCF for 29 and 30 December shows that I went to Save The Children Fund in Camberwell those two days.

Ten Days Spent, Primarily, Eating And Drinking, 15 to 24 December 1988

If you simply go by my diary notes, I spent the ten days in the run up to Christmas eating and drinking that year. What’s changed/who knew?

I’m going to be a bit light on details with several of these:

Thursday 15 December: Went over to Bobbies for dinner

I’ll guess that there were other people involved, but the diaries are silent on the matter, beyond the above information

Friday 16 December: Went to Ma and Pa for dinner

One thing I do remember about this visit was me gently but firmly letting mum know that, now that I’d moved to Notting Hill, I wasn’t suddenly going to be making Friday evening visits for family dinner a regular thing.

Saturday 17 December: Driving lesson. Annalisa came over for meal in evening

That was my second driving lesson in Notting Hill (I’d had one the previous Saturday). I think that meal I cooked for Annalisa that evening might well have been the first time I cooked for someone other than myself at Clanricarde Gardens. No idea what I cooked for her. There are some Thai recipes on my jotter but I can see, from the context of the other notes, that those were jotted after Christmas, probably after I discovered Tawana.

Monday 19 December: Driving lesson in evening.

My instructor in Notting Hill Gate was a gentle fellow. I remember his girlfriend (or wife) was an orchestra musician from East Germany and he spent much of our chatting time railing against the Honecker regime, little knowing how close we were to its demise.

Tuesday 20 December: Bobbie came over for meal in evening

This might well have been the first time I cooked for Bobbie at Clanricarde. This will have been a meatier affair than cooking for Annalisa and/but probably a simpler meal being an after work job rather than a weekend job.

Wednesday 21 December: Radius lunch in afternoon. BHMC [Binder Hamlyn Management Consultants] & drinks after work

I cannot remember exactly who Radius were, but I am guessing that they were a software supplier. That week, and the week before, I had switched away from Save The Children Fund (who wanted me to return to do most of my assignment in the new year, after their massive Christmas Appeal surge was over), so I joined colleague/mentor Lars Schiphorst at Holland & Holland. My guess is that I was brought in at that place to look at the financial/accounting systems aspects of a project long since forgotten by all involved.

Thinking about Lars, who, despite having to tolerate teaming with me on that assignment and others, went on to be a good friend for several years at Binders before he emigrated to Australia…I wondered if it would be possible to trace Lars 30 years later.

Yes. Thank you, Mr Google.

Here he is at the Australian Institute For Performance Studies in December 2018 – click here…

…or click here, where I have scraped the relevant page at the time, if you get no joy on the AIPS site above.

Lars Schiphorst – ludicrously still recognisable/barely changed all these years later.

Friday 23 December: Pub lunch with BHMC mob – little work after

The thing I remember most about that lunch was chatting with Geoffrey Rutland, RIP, who was especially friendly, welcoming and helpful with advice. He also turned out, strangely, like myself, to have been a former scholarship boy at Alleyn’s – although in his case a few years earlier.

Actually I remember everyone at Binders being friendly and welcoming that December – I felt quite at home in that firm quite rapidly, despite the fact that I knew I had been recruited as canon fodder in a turf war between a handful of partners.

Orpheus Descending by Tennessee Williams, Theatre Royal Haymarket, With Jilly, Followed By Annalisa’s Party, 10 December 1988

Obviously I was better from my 48 hours of food poisoning by the Saturday. I’m pretty sure I went in to work on the Friday and then a full weekend of activities.

Now I have had written complaints from Jilly already about my handwriting, so the above page is only for artistic effect. Here is the entry for the Saturday:

Saturday 10 December: Driving lesson & Orpheus Descending With Jilly & Annalisa Party

There – that wasn’t so challenging, now, was it?

I remember really liking this play and production. What a fabulous cast.

The Theatricalia website lists the production thus.

Note that we saw this production three days before the stated first performance, so Jilly and I must have gone to see a preview.

Below is Michael Billington’s Guardian review:

Billington on OrpheusBillington on Orpheus Thu, Dec 15, 1988 – 28 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Kate Kellaway’s Observer review

Kate Kellaway on OrpheusKate Kellaway on Orpheus Sun, Dec 18, 1988 – 40 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

They made a film based on that Peter Hall production with some (but not all) of the cast we saw in it. Here is the trailer for that movie – far more melodramatic looking than the stage production I remember, but still it should give you some idea:

For that particular evening, I’m sure that the original idea was that Bobbie would join me to see this play/production. But when she had to pull out for some reason, it made a great deal of sense for Jilly to act as sub, especially as we were both invited to Annalisa’s party and were given leave to be fashionably late arrivals.

In truth, I cannot remember specific details of this particular party at Annalisa’s place in Hinde Street, but her parties were always popular, always lavish in hospitality and always late nighters. At that time, just a couple of years after Annalisa had finished at Keele, I suspect it was a very Keeley crowd that night.

As the diary says, on the Sunday, I:

…went to G Jenny with Ma & Pa…

…the next day, quite probably a little tiredly and sore-headedly. But Grandma Jenny no doubt wanted to know all about my new flat and my new job, so I’ll guess that I was centre of attention that Sunday afternoon.

Keep On Running: What Should Have Been My First Full Working Week At Binders, 5 to 9 December 1988

Here’s the first diary page from that week:

For those with limited ability to read clear, plain handwriting:

Monday 5 December: Started at SCF [Save The Children Fund] today.

Went to HCJA [High Court Journalists Association] dinner with B [Bobbie] in evening


I recall that HCJA dinner being rather good. I think we heard Joshua Rozenberg speak on that occasion.

M&P [Ma & Pa] return

Went to Mum & Dad for dinner (Italian)

There is a notebook page that is somewhat of a confession, or perhaps even incriminating evidence about that evening:

Well, I’m pretty sure that mother would have WANTED to be relieved of some tea towels rather than have me do without. I’m 99% sure mum voluntarily gave me the towels and that she declined to have me replace them.

The Italian meal will have been at Il Carretto in Streatham Hill – the only reference to which I can find on line is here:

…scraped to here just in case that reference dies.

Anyway, let’s not cast blame around here, but I did eat mussels that evening (perhaps a mistake) and I was tripping out on tiredness after several weeks of relentlessly pushing myself.

Wednesday 7 December: Laid up with chronic food poisoning

Thursday 8 December: Stayed off work again today

Thus, the bloke who had only previously taken time off work sick once, when he was grounded for letting flu turn to bronchitis, was now off sick in his first full week of a new job.

Ouch.

I think I soldiered in on the Friday.

My First Weekend At Clanricarde: Encountering Van Morrison, Single Spies by Alan Bennett, National Theatre, With Bobbie & Bridge At Pam & Michael’s Place, 3 & 4 December 1988

Saturday 3 December: Much sorting to do re flat – went to see Single Spies in eve – B came back to mine

My appointments diary informs me that my Zanussi washing machine was delivered to the flat that morning. I remember going for my first local shopping expedition after the machine arrived.

I am fairly sure that it was on that very first Saturday’s shopping spree that I found myself face-to-face with Van Morrison on the traffic island which divides the north from the south side of the Bayswater Road. We exchanged glances. I nodded, in as much of a “cool, nodding acquaintance” manner as I could muster.

Van-Morrison

I remember thinking that the Van encounter proved that I had really arrived in a hip, happening place – I was going to be rubbing shoulders with Van Morrison and people of that sort all the time from now on. Well, to some extent I suppose I have got to meet quite a lot of such media folk in the neighbourhood since, but that traffic island encounter with Van the Man was, sadly, a one-off. “No Van is an island”, I suppose.

Single Spies is actually two Alan Bennett plays: An Englishman Abroad and A Question Of Attribution. Both are about the Cambridge Spy Ring. The first of the two plays had been knocking around for a few years before this production – it is primarily about actress Coral Browne’s encounters with Guy Burgess. The second play was about Anthony Blunt’s role as art advisor to the Queen.

Here is a link to the Theatricalia entry.

According to the National Theatre’s historical notes, A Question of Attribution contained:

the first representation on the British stage of a living monarch, in a scene in which Sir Anthony Blunt has a discussion with ‘HMQ’.

Prunella Scales and Simon Callow played the leads in both plays. I think this was the first time I saw Prunella Scales on stage, although she had seen me ponce about in tights some 10 years earlier:

Twelfth Night, Alleyn’s School, 12, 14, 15 & 16 December 1978

I thought the production (Single Spies, I mean, not Twelfth Night) was very good and said so in my notes. I’m pretty sure Bobbie liked the production too. I think we might have eaten at the National that evening – I can’t believe that I was geared up to cook yet at Clanricarde.

Below is Michael Billington’s Guardian review:

Billington on Single SpiesBillington on Single Spies Sat, Dec 3, 1988 – 21 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Michael Ratcliffe’s Observer review:

Ratcliffe on SpiesRatcliffe on Spies Sun, Dec 4, 1988 – 44 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Sunday 4 December: Went to Pam & Michael’s in eve for dinner and bridge

I wonder who made the fourth for bridge that evening? It was before my irregular social group had emerged, so it wouldn’t have been Andrea on that occasion. I’ll guess it was a friend of Pam & Michael’s – perhaps one of the Setty/Gareh family or possibly it was Ralph Glasser. The diary is silent on such details – never mind.

I’ll have walked there and back, learning that Clanricarde Gardens to Pam & Michael’s place only takes around 15 minutes on foot. Cool.

Left My Job At Newman Harris, Moved To Clanricarde Gardens And Started Work For Binder Hamlyn Management Consultants, 18 November to 1 December 1988

The end of 1988 was a momentous time for me. I’ll have quite a lot to write about those weeks on Ogblog.

The brace of events I am recalling in this piece, reflecting briefly on that time thirty years later, are the core happenings. I changed job and moved house within the space of a couple of weeks.

Clanricarde Gardens

A few doors down, picture linked from (and clickable to) Philip Wilkinson’s wonderful blog piece about our street

There is a superb blog piece about our street by Philip Wilkinson – click here.

I shall write up my flat hunting experience on a separate piece in the coming weeks. Suffice it to say here that my Clanricarde Gardens flat was the first place I saw and that I liked it straight away.

It was only the fact that I had nothing with which to compare it that kept me flat hunting for several more days. I have some interesting yarns to tell about some of the other places I saw. I asked to take a second look at Clanricarde Gardens on the Thursday and took Bobbie Scully with me to help me decide. “What are you waiting for? Just take it,” is a reasonable paraphrase of her sound judgement.

By way of context, I should explain that I was renting, not buying in late 1988. Some friends at that time thought I was bonkers by not jumping on the home ownership bandwagon “before it is too late”. But then some friends suffered some serious negative equity for several years after jumping on that bandwagon when it peaked back then.

Unusually, when I decided it was time for me to buy, in 1999, it was also an opportune time for the owners to sell, so I was able to buy the flat I had been renting for over 10 years. Try before you buy.

From Newman Harris To Binder Hamlyn Management Consultants (BHMC)

Again, I shall write more in separate pieces about these events over the coming weeks.

With the benefit of hindsight, taking just eight working days off between jobs with a view to:

  • finding a flat to rent;
  • moving into that flat;
  • learning to drive;
  • seeing friends and family in relatively large quantity;
  • going to plenty of theatre & stuff;
  • doing exam marking for Financial Training to help pay for all that…

…was a little ambitious, to say the least.

I rather like my only diary note on the day I started at BHMC:

Started at BHMC today – drink at lunchtime

Frankly, I probably needed a drink after that fortnight. But what a very 1980’s tradition for a new joiner at a City firm – the drink at lunchtime.

At Binder Hamlyn (BDOC) c1992

BHMC soon changed its name to BDO Consulting (BDOC). Five-and-a-half years after I joined the firm, Binder Hamlyn “merged” with Arthur Andersen (AA) and I concluded that the latter firm would not like my hairstyle. Michael Mainelli, who had not recruited me to BHMC but with whom I was mostly working by then, felt similarly about not wanting to persevere in Andersens, although not for hairstyle reasons…

…and thus Z/Yen was born.

I don’t remember meeting Michael on that first day or two at Binders – my memory of meeting him really starts at the Christmas lunch on 14 December. But Michael is pretty sure that he at the very least spent a few minutes saying “hi & bye” to me (probably to check that I didn’t have two heads or something) before packing me off the following week on a tough assignment with Save The Children Fund…from which the rest is history.

Reflecting On Those Weeks And Events

Further, when I look at my diaries and see what else I did during those momentous weeks, I still see many familiar names and activities.

Here are just two examples.

I went to Jacquie and Len’s place for dinner with Caroline on 30 November 1988. Janie and I are going to dinner at Jacquie’s tonight (1 December 2018) and only a couple of days ago, Caroline got in touch to arrange a get together.

27 November 1988, had John, Mandy, Ali, Valerie and Bobbie to lunch

I’m still in touch with most of them and am seeing John on Monday.

Those two momentous things I did in late 1988 have in essence been sustained for thirty years and still going. Also many of the people who were central to my being back then are still there too.

So I shall soon write up the many and various events of those frantic weeks.

Some of the tales will be about characters who entered my life only fleetingly – such as Larry the Drummer, the larger-than-life character I met through the Streatham Hill Driving School people, who became Larry the Man With A Van to help me move.

But some stories will benefit from the reflections of those people with whom I am still very much in touch.

And although, if I recall correctly, Michael Mainelli and I didn’t actually meet until I had been at the firm for a couple of weeks…

…1 December 1988 was, technically speaking, the date we started working together. So happy thirtieth anniversary, Michael.

Pearl factory, Wuxi, China

Last Night In Woodfield And First Night In Clanricarde, 29 & 30 November 1988

That Tuesday, 29 November, had been an action packed day, as described in the piece linked here and below…

Moving All My Stuff To Clanricarde Gardens With Larry The Drummer, 29 November 1988

…yet still I cooked dinner that evening for six of us: me, Bobbie, Vivian Robinson, Andrew (her beau), Neil Infield and Michelle Epstein (soon to be Infield). All of those people were living in the vicinity of Woodfield Avenue at that time, so I guess it was a sort-of goodbye to friends in that neighbourhood.

No idea what I cooked – I hope for my own sake that I tried to keep it simple – I probably did. If anyone who was there can remember details of that particular evening, I’d love to hear about it from someone else’s perspective.

The Wednesday was also a pretty packed day. Here’s my page of notes for that day.

That page doesn’t even mention the two driving lessons – one at 9:00, the other at 11:00.

Nor does it mention the ordering of a washing machine (perhaps I had already done that the previous day, as Pratts (Streatham’s John Lewis store) was specifically mentioned that day. I wrote copious notes, too detailed even for me and Ogblog, listing various makes, specs and prices of washing machine. I settled on Zanussi and the thing was delivered to Clanricarde Gardens on the Saturday.

A weird quirk of that era; a purportedly fully-furnished flat did not come with a washing machine and I recall that Tony Shaw said at that time that he was happy for me to have one there but that I would have to pay for it and own it. These days, unfurnished flats are the thing but a washing machine is seen as a standard utility item in an unfurnished flat.

I have also retained my shopping list from that Wednesday, which reads like something The Flight Of The Conchords might include in one of their lyrics. Cereal, coffee and wine – what else does a bachelor flat need?:

That page of notes also includes a note of Jackie and Len’s address for that evening (redacted in green on the above picture) plus a note to remind myself to take my Newman Harris P45 with me for Binders the next morning – good thinking.

I know I also left a chirpy note for mum and dad to find when they returned from their holiday on 6th December. Words to the effect of:

Have moved out, as promised.

If you are lucky, I’ll call and let you know where I’ve gone. Hope you had a great holiday.

Lots of love

Sonny Boy.

So, then on to dinner at Jacquie and Len’s place, joined by Caroline Freeman. How can I be so sure? Here”s the diary page:

I wonder whether Caroline remembers this particular evening? I cannot remember what we had for dinner but I don’t think it would have been a herring fest. More likely poultry was involved – for sure it will have been a splendid meal whatever we ate. This much later picture does show the actual table, although not the precise contents:

Briegal table, minimally laden when the photo was taken, thanks to Hils for the photo

One thing I do remember about that evening is that Len, on the matter of me having qualified as a Chartered Accountant and then immediately having moved away from that profession (his), seemed decidedly less perturbed than some. I remember him saying repeatedly:

The world is your lobster. Not just your oyster. Your lobster.

I was watching very little television by that time, so it was many years later that I discovered that this cute phrase was not Len’s own, but is an Arthur Daleyism. Not a very kosher metaphor, that oyster/lobster one. But “the world is your pickled herring” just doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?:

Moving All My Stuff To Clanricarde Gardens With Larry The Drummer, 29 November 1988

OK, so I had clinched the deal to rent Clanricarde Gardens, collecting the keys on the Saturday…

A Busy Weekend Socialising, Hoity-Toitying At The National Theatre And Setting Up My New Flat, 25 to 27 November 1988

..but the reality was, I had taken on rather too much. I had a swathe of driving lessons booked (five lessons in three days, to use up my purchased block of 10), had agreed to do several stacks of exam marking for Financial Training and had arranged activities on several evenings…

…and was due to start work at Binder Hamlyn on Thursday 1 December…before which I was determined to move my stuff from Woodfield Avenue to Clanricarde Gardens.

My friends at the Hiway Driving School suggested that their friend Larry, who was a drummer and who had a drum-kit-sized van and liked to make a bit of extra dosh during drumming down time, might be willing to help me with the move. Larry stopped by to meet me (I think one day the preceding week). I gave Larry an approximate size of load, Larry seemed confident that we could manage that much in one van journey, so we agreed a fee and that Tuesday afternoon was a suitable slot for both of us.

Here is my note book page for that Tuesday:

Ambitious.

1.15 Schlep

Returning ASAP

The imperative for returning was because I had arranged to cook dinner for several of my South London-based friends at Woodfield Avenue that evening. I must have been out of my mind.

Transporting my stuff in Larry’s van proved to be a bigger logistical problem than either of us had bargained for. Specifically, once we started stacking boxes and crates of my worldly goods into the van, it became apparent very rapidly that it would be a snug fit to get the job done in two loads, let alone one.

I was convinced that we would need to do the second load on another day, as we both had evening engagements, but Larry was confident that we could do two circuits and still be back in good time. Larry was right.

One of the elements that made Larry right was his monumental strength and stamina at the schlepping element of the job. Especially at the Clanricarde Gardens end, where there are two flights of high-ceiling-house staircase to navigate. I lost count of the number of times Larry lapped me carrying stuff up the stairs. My guess is that he came close to managing two armfuls for every one I managed…and his tended to be heavier armfuls too.

Too big a job for Dumbo, even too big for his Chelsea Tractor friend in the street

He was a very nice, friendly fellow. Larry told me about his drumming during those few hours we spent together. I especially remember him saying that he had drummed with the Joe Jackson Band. So, on researching this piece, 30 years later, I surmise that Larry is most probably Larry Tolfree, who was the drummer with the band when I saw Joe Jackson at Keele in 1982:

After The Exams, Lots Of Fun At Keele, Late June 1982

Here is a track from Jumping Jive in which the drummer (whom I suspect is Larry Tolfree at that time) displays his considerable talents as a drummer:

I recall we did the full two rounds of removals in the space of four hours, allowing Larry plenty of time to get to his evening gig and me enough time to prepare dinner for six.

The other thing I recall was Larry’s extreme unwillingness to take more money than we had originally agreed. I wanted to give him double the money because it really had turned out to be double the job he originally bargained for. Larry insisted that it was his own fault that he had overestimated the size of his van. I insisted that it was my fault that I had underestimated (or not comprehensively stated) the size of the load. In the end, I think I persuaded him (reluctantly) to split the difference and take some extra money, but not double money.

Thirty years later, I’m finding it hard to imagine quite such a hyper-active day. I hope I had planned a relatively easy meal to cook…

…I’ll report on that and my actual transfer to Clanricarde Gardens in the next piece.