Category: Writing (my writing)

Middlesex CCC Gets Political, MTWD Editorial, 10 July 2008

Between the works outing to the horses on 9 July – click here… 

…and the Lord’s test match weekend 11 & 13 July – click here…

…you’d have thought that I had enough real work to do.

Which I probably did.

But still I wrote the editorial contained in the following link, to encourage people to vote wisely in the forthcoming Middlesex CCC no confidence vote/Special General Meeting.

Here’s a link to the editorial.

Just in case anything ever happens to MTWD, I have scraped the piece to Ogblog – only click the link below if the link above doesn’t work:

Middlesex till we die – Editorial_ Vote NO, Vote In Advance By Proxy

The irony of course was that Middlesex had got to finals day of the T20 competition and the SGM was scheduled for the Tuesday before the big day. Not ideal.

It all came good in the end. Doesn’t read too clever from my 10 July 2008 editorial though. Here’s the link again.

 

A Quieter Couple of Weeks, Ending in Gastro Bistro, Clapham, 6 July 2008

After the wonderful yet strange evening in Uxbridge 24 June, a quieter couple of weeks before the next excitement.

25 June

There was an England v New Zealand ODI at the Oval, which I didn’t attend but I was able to catch the end of it on the TV after work. The scorecard – click here – reveals how close the game was but does not reveal the controversy over Collingwood’s captaincy after he insisted, against the advice of the umpires, on progressing a run out appeal in unusual circumstances, against Grant Elliot – the Kiwis went on to win the match anyway. The Sussex v Middlesex match that evening seemed tame by way of comparison; I’m pretty sure I listened to most of it:

27 & 28 June

The last T20 group match was at the Oval against Surrey. I know I missed it completely, because Daisy and I were taken out for dinner by Jamil and Souad – I’m pretty sure we went to Noura in Belgravia, but Daisy’s diary should confirm or deny when we get around to checking – see “A Couple of nights out”.

27 & 28 June

A yes, we indeed had a couple of nights out:

A Brace Of Birthday Dinners For Daisy, 27 & 28 June 2008

4 July

Following a working week that looked quite light on meetings and evening engagements, but did include another Z/Yen Boat Trip on the Wednesday, on the Friday, I took a day out at Uxbridge. Middlesex were hosting the visiting South Africans in a warm-up match.

I wrote quite a lengthy report for MTWD on that day – click here.

Here is the scorecard from that tour match.

6 July

A relatively quiet weekend culminating in a lunch out with my mum at Gastro in Clapham. I had not seen this Jay Rayner review – click here – when I booked it.

It seems to divide opinion on TripAdvisor too – click here.

Actually, Janie and I rather liked the place, but I do recall that the Sunday menu was not quite as advertised and in any case the dishes on offer were of an kind unfamiliar to mum, who got a bit shirty about it all.

I’m not too sure how the matter got resolved but I seem to recall the lunch event being salvaged somehow, I think through some good staff making appropriate amounts of fuss around mum and looking after her nicely. Or did we move on to another place to get that fuss? Janie might remember.

I do recall resolving not to book such a place again for mum – the familiar “old-fashioned Italian or French bistro” places she’d been to before being the best bet for her now. Oh well.

Middlesex v South Africans Day One, Uxbridge, MTWD Report, 4 July 2008

Tour matches between county sides and visiting international teams used to be a major part of the first class cricket summer. Now they are simply warm up matches, occasionally good for the county coffers but (in Middlesex’s case) usually a break-even proposition at best at outgrounds.

But from the cricket-lover’s point of view, a delightful day of first class cricket can ensue, as it did when the South Africans visited Uxbridge in 2008.

I wrote up the day for MTWD – Lovely Day For A Whipping – SA at Uxbridge Day One – here.

Just in case anything ever happens to MTWD, I have scraped the piece to Ogblog – only click the link below if the link above doesn’t work:

Middlesex till we die – Lovely Day For A Whipping – SA at Uxbridge Day One

I do remember that Friday being a lovely day. I especially remember seeing Amla live for the first time. At first i couldn’t work out what the fuss was about, but once he got set, he looked top notch.

Not that such matches matter, but for completist enthusiasts who don’t want to have to do too much clicking…here’s a link to the scorecard. Sadly the weather turned sour on the match over the weekend.

“We’re On Our Way To Delhi”, Hampshire v Middlesex T20 MTWD Match Report, 11 June 2008

This one’s going to take quite a bit of explaining…

Here is a link to the MTWD match report in question, authored by Hippity the Green Bunny – click here.

 

This is going to take quite a bit of explaining.

The evening of 11 June 2008 was the first Domestic T20 match of the year for Middlesex. I was editing the Middlesex Till We Die (MTWD) website along with Barmy Kev at that time.

We were finding it difficult to generate much interest for the T20 tournament among Middlesex fans – this was to be the sixth year of the tournament and Middlesex had  rarely managed to avoid humiliating defeats and low positions in the qualifying tables so far – not once had our beloved team even managed a quarter-final berth.

Indeed, to try and generate some interest, I wrote a “cut out and keep” glossary which I published that morning – click here – the piece subsequently updated but you can see by the article date and the comments that the piece originated that day.

Just in case anything ever happens to MTWD, I have scraped the pieces to Ogblog – only click the links below if the links above don’t work:

Middlesex till we die – We’re On Our Way To Delhi

Middlesex till we die – MTWD Glossary

So deep was the low interest quotient, we were struggling to find match reporters for several of the matches, including the first. I agreed to “commission Hippity” to write a piece based on listening to the internet radio for the first match, which was away in Southampton, if no-one came forward to volunteer.

Then a full day’s work (for me, not for Hippity). Clients in the morning, a dash across town to London Bridge City Pier and a Z/Yen boat trip aboard the Lady Daphne that afternoon. Also, if I recall correctly, I needed to stay on a while and entertain one or two of the guests after the boat trip before dashing home.

I must have missed much of the Middlesex innings, as this extract from my e-mail to Kevin Hand at BBC Radio London (not to be confused with Barmy Kev of MTWD) attests:

Kevin/Big Al

Enjoying your commentary tonight enormously.  Fun fun fun etc.

Problem is, I got home from work c 7:40 so missed the first 35-40 minutes of the game.

At the risk of boring less workaholic listeners, could you both update me…

“Big Al” was pace bowler Alan Richardson, who was injured at the time. Not Big Al DeLarge of my more recent King Cricket reports.

Middlesex did very well that night. Hampshire had consistently been one of the most successful teams at T20; Middlesex had gone to Southampton and was winning the game well.

I got over-excited; even the BBC commentary team got over-excited, as this later extract from my e-mails to them attests:

Kev/Al

Get a grip.

Stumped/bowled/lbw – surely you can tell the difference. From here…I would say it was probably hit wicket.

Luvvvvvvvv the commentary.

Here’s the scorecard – click here.

So I decided that “Hippity” needed to file his match report in a hurry. To generate and/or build some interest in tournament. As much as anything else, I had meetings scheduled throughout the following day and was due to go straight to that evening’s game at Lord’s with a gang of people, so the report needed to go up quickly or not at all.

Why “Hippity” got it into his bean-filled head that one win meant that Middlesex were well on their way to winning the tournament, goodness only knows, but for once his mindless optimism proved to be justified.

Why “Hippity” thought that Delhi might have anything to do with it is more of a mystery. There was a shot at the ill-fated Champions League for the top teams, but I don’t think the Indian organisers had ever intended that tournament to take place in Delhi. In the end it was scheduled for Mumbai but had to be cancelled at the last minute following a hideous terrorist incident.

Anyway, given the late hour and early start scheduled for the next day, you can imagine how much time “Hippity” spent rattling off his rah-rah piece – here’s the link again. Indeed, looking at the timings on my e-mails to live commentators and the publishing time for the piece, “Hippity” must have written it before the match had completely finished.

The only other thing that needs explaining here is Hippity’s references to Gnomic the Leprechaun. At that time, Hippity had an imaginary friend of that name, who occasionally manifested as Charles Bartlett’s toy Yoda (see photo above). That now said, the matter seems to me to be fully elucidated, entirely normal and thus requires no further explanation.

Hirsute Pursuits Over The 2007 Festive Season, 28 December 2007

I went into the 2007 festive season clean-shaven and came out the other side of it bearded.

Before
After

I have been inspired to write this matter up on Ogblog now (in November 2019), as King Cricket has written a very entertaining, speculative piece about cricketer Chris Woakes “rebranding” as a hirsute chap:

Chris Woakes has a beard now and that definitely says something although we’re not exactly sure what

This made me wonder about my own “rebrand” 12 years ago.

I had often before let my facial hair grow for a while, during holiday time, but always previously had relented once work beckoned again or sooner if the itches came before the return to work.

This time I decided to play through the itches and go for the bearded look from the start of 2008 onwards.

I’m not sure I actually made the decision on 28 December, but it was a Friday and I probably at least made a decision not to shave that day before heading off for Sandall Close.

I do recall that Daisy liked the look once it got beyond 48 hour shadow to become a proper, albeit short, beard and tash.

Freudians might point out that the festive holiday in question was the first significant break from work I’d had since my father’s death and I do recall consciously thinking that I wouldn’t have attempted “the beard thing” while dad was alive. I cannot explain that, I merely note it. The same inexplicable/nonsensical rule applied to hats as well.

I especially recall my business partner, Michael Mainelli recoiling at the sight of my new look at the start of 2008. When I asked him why he didn;t like it, he was uncharacteristically lost for words until he finally said:

I don’t really know. I guess I don’t like change.

While on the business angle of this, just for the record, I would suggest that my five most successful years commercially were 2008-2012. Coincidence? Who knows.

Here’s hoping for at least five cracking cricketing years ahead for Chris Woakes from November 2019 onwards now he too is hirsute.

Three Late December Evenings: 15, 19 & 20 December 2007

15 December

Janie and I had Hilary & Chris for dinner at Sandall Close. No doubt they had come up to drop & collect Christmas presents etc. No doubt they stayed and no doubt they disappeared early the next morning when Janie and I went off to play tennis.

19 December

Mansion House. Michael Mainelli had persuaded the City of London Corporation & the Lord Mayor to host a London Accord launch at the Mansion House. This felt like a big deal for Z/Yen at the time. So much so that I bought a stack of copies of The Diary Of A Nobody as the staff’s Secret Santa stocking filler that year, pointing them to the Mansion House chapter/thread in the book.

Any resemblance between Ogblog and The Diary Of A Nobody is purely coincidental.

This Now & Z/Yen piece announced the London Accord Mansion House event. Very grand it was too.

20 December

Back down to earth at Cafe Rouge in Maida Vale for the Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, including the seasonal Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Trophy quiz.

John Random helpfully reported back after the event:

Many thanks to all those who came out to the… I dunno.. the 28th? Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner. (We seem to have settled into a pattern of four a year and we’ve been doing this for 7 years now, so 28 sounds about right.) The occasion was graced by Jasmine Birtles, Caroline Bainbridge, Gerry Goddin, Barry Grossman, Mark Keegan, Colin Stutt, Nick R. Thomas, Ian Harris, Mike Hodd and myself. There were three quizzes. Barry retained the trophy.

For those struggling to imagine what this magnificent trophy might look like – here is a subsequent picture of it (with legends for some subsequent winners):

A Couple Of Adjacent Evenings, Mike Ward & the Inaugural Payroll Giving Awards, 16 & 17 October 2007

I cannot remember where Mike Ward (from the Actors’ Workshop in Halifax) and I met that evening, 16 October. Perhaps it was the time we went to a restaurant in Kensington. I tried to put him in touch with one or two potential sources of charitable funds after the evening, but the e-mail and physical diary is silent other than that.

The following evening was the inaugural Payroll Giving Awards at the Treasury. I Chaired the panel of judges that year and for the next few years too. Jane Kennedy MP handed out the awards and the event was hosted by a celebrity for the one and (so far) only time; Martin Lewis

I blogged about the event on Now & Z/Yen at the time. The piece is strangely dated Sunday 30 September, which feels wrong for all sorts of reasons – partly because it would be prescient to say the least as I am pretty sure the event was on 17 October – the date shown in my diary. Further, I cannot imagine even in my work enthusiasm back then to have done such work on a Sunday. My guess is that the date got transcribed wrongly on a move from one system to another, or something.

I also have a note about Computing Awards on 7 November, with a question mark crossed out. This might be the evening that Michael picked up an award for PropheZy, our prediction engine. So perhaps that Now & Z/Yen piece was algorithmically written in advance. 😉

MTWD Lost Masterpiece: Barmy Kev’s 2007 End of Season Forum Report – Unedited Version, 26 September 2007

For reasons known only to himself, Barmy Kev didn’t tend to upload his own masterpieces, he sent them to me for editing/uploading.

This is one of the “Sportnetwork lost masterpieces” of 2007, rescued only by dint of that e-mailing for editing/upping process.

Any edits I might or might not have made are lost for ever, but here is the unexpurgated text as submitted by Barmy Kev.

More Questions than Answers or
Barmy Kev’s End of Season Forearm


A packed house at forum with standing room only for late arrivals. Using the Long Room was muted to dinosaurs at MCC as alternative, but all attendees would have to dress suitably, which would have severely restricted crowd, as Chris Lowe put it “with you scruffy lot”.

Chris Lowe congratulated team on Pro 40 promotion and 2nd X1 cup. Rapturous applause followed.

Chairman said some encouraging words about our fans support, youngsters in team, our conveyor belt for England, lack of Kolpak and legacy left by Phil Edmonds.

As question and answer session was about to start I had 3 questions in mind to ask.
1, What we are going to do about Katrik no ball problem?
2/ Whether go down Kolpak route?
3/ Questioning our lack of urgency in trying to beat Notts in LVCC at home.

The one I would ask would depend on what covered and my feeling at time.

My hand up, but a gentleman well known to panel was asked first. He stood up saying he had 3 questions. My view was that these were rambling statements and he was only allowed 2, “in fairness to everyone else”.

His gist was underachievement of team having not won trophy in years and batting this year. Neither were denied, although Ed made reference to poor pitches when batting first.

The 2nd statement was regarding coach and I’m sure he mentioned Duncan Fletcher as option, which around me was met with derision under people’s breath. The Pybus situation was explained and really covered MTWD speculation at time, with excuses ranging from our facilities, to wifey not settling and offer of old job. Agreed this was not satisfactory state of affairs regardless.

With my hand in air, next question was about comings and goings. 5 people mentioned leaving in strictest of confidence so I can’t reveal. Ok Ill tell you, one. Vaas won’t be coming back next year. Comings-an all-rounder who has done well in 2nds. Name not mentioned but assuming is Berg.

A Kolpak being sought after- (Muted applause). Someone close to signing. Clues. Is an all rounder seam bowler, bowling better than batting. On fringe of Test side and reading between lines South African. –not Johan Louw.


My hand still in air, a gentleman after tiresome long speech as retired MD seemed to want to stir up issues re how Ed Smith was elected as captain and that our hierarchy involved too many people. He did not seem happy that Ed was elected via Paul Downtown Working Party. Vinny was called from his spectator’s role to answer. While it was confirmed this was case, the decision was ratified by Embers but whether he had much choice difficult to stay. It was agreed that the hierarchy needed streamlining but everyone had role.

My hand still in air, but some legal boffin chipped in with 3 challenges to panel. He claimed the restriction of right to work for non-British born players could be challenged in court of law. He then spouted something off about Equal Opportunities. Finally non Kolpaks reduces our potential quality.

The points raised weren’t answered directly. Embers did say Kolpaks was not a policy but a “recommendation” by Committee. This arguably contradicts what Phil Edmonds has previously said.
My hand still in air desperate to ask something based on team and performance as felt debates were digressing from this. Next question asking if Kartik returning- confirmed yes.

Follow up about whether we will have squad nos. on shirts for LVCC and the size of nos. There was a vote in room with even result (subject for future poll here). Vinny said he would oppose these as long as he can, but chance that ECB will enforce these next season.
At this stage it was 7:45 and really felt there was not much time for relevant cricket discussion. I was relieved that a good question was asked about John Lever’s role and whether the improved performance of young bowlers was down to him or co-incidence. Embers actually thought it was co-incidence and felt strength and conditioning coach had big say in our bowlers. He mentioned one rookie with no name given “who needs to listen more”- any guesses?

Someone then asked Ed Smith whether he liked his job and what he found the most demanding. Ed obviously, said yes and used some standard corporate speak using the word “challenge in every sentence.

Murray then had his token rant stating Ed said he was “Autocratic”-which he disputed.

He also suggested our Kolpak should be an all-rounder spinner to replace Rymps. Embers stated none around if we went down this road.

As approaching 8:00-my hand still in air- old chestnut about whether Middx can have more say in Lords wickets preparation, in which a just seen pigs fly like response was given.

Then a good point about catches being dropped especially in slips, although the suggestion of sports psychologist to help was met with cynicism, as was whether distraction of captaincy affects Eds catching. I personally can’t imagine as ball comes to you at 80mph he will hardly be thinking who is going to bowl next over. Ed did state, especially in Pro 40 fielding was good and won us matches.

It was 8:00 and lots of hands including mine in air and Chris allowed 2 more. One was enquiring about Nash health and whether cover in place. It was stated problems stress related, but actual root cause not established, although his Benefit mentioned (We were asked to support Ace next year as he does not need distraction). Embers stated wickie cover not discussed at this stage, although we have a couple of promising ones from 2s.

Next question was asking for better tannoy at games and up to date scorecards. Stated matter will be taken on board. We shall see but I am not holding my breath.

Question of out grounds for next season. Southgate safe for another year and hope to have full festival.

One final question was it going to be me. No the gentleman at beginning was allowed a 3rd. I did not take note at this stage, but recall he wanted to have another dig at Ed and say nothing constructive.

Summary.
I admit I was disappointed for first time at forum, did not have chance to ask question. However, I felt there were a lot of questions and statements that served no purpose and wasted time. Compared with last forum where there was great discussion on how processes were going to change, there was very little that can be taken from this effort.

The brevity of official website report http://www.middlesexccc.com/news-detail.asp?NewsID=958 confirms this.

Party

The end of season party proved an enjoyable occasion.

Dial M received his Seaxe player of season award and I enjoyed his comment about “preferring it this side of river”.

Weekesey got deserved award on our Hall of Fame. His dad was entertaining as ever. I was happy Weeks spoke to me and commented how grateful he was for Legends flag, but found it when saw it intimidating living up to it.

Ed gave me a lot of time one to one basis to answer some points, more than I would have hoped for at forum.

Chris Lowe when challenged said he did not see my hand up, but there was a political reason why the 3 question ranter was allowed such time and promised me first question at next forum if I remind him. By then I was on 7th, I think, glass of wine so I was past caring.
A good mingle was had by all as another season officially came to a close

Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, Café Rouge Maida Vale, 13 September 2007

My diary suggests that I at least planned to go to an Ivan Shakespeare memorial dinner on 13 September 2007.

In truth, I don’t recall this particular one. It was just a few weeks after my dad died, so I might have skipped it, but I have a feeling I was there. In those days we always gathered in the (now defunct) Café Rouge Maida Vale.

Image from AllInLondon.co.uk https://www.allinlondon.co.uk/restaurants/restaurant-1227.php

The story of the NewsRevue writers alumni dinners generally is explained in the following piece from 2017:

Ultimate Love and Happy Tories, Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, Café Rouge Holborn, 3 March 2017

Mercifully, we have a contemporaneous, verbatim report of the 13 September 2007 evening from John Random, who wrote:

Thanks to all those who braved the Tube Strike/Floods/Terracotta Army Delete As Appropriate  last night to come to the 24th Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, an annual event that takes place four times a year in the old scout hut.  For those of you who couldn’t make it – perhaps because you were in an oil-rich/war-torn/fat-free/Delete As Appropriate country, there is however good news. The Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinners are now available on Second Life.  At the inaugural Second Life Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner a virtual Colin Stutt exchanged virtual quips with a digitally-enhanced Barry Grossman.  Sadly, a virtual Keith Whickham had to cry off at the last minute because his avatar had a job on Third Life, while Hugh Rycroft couldn’t make it because he was in Pond Life.  The whole dinner can be now downloaded into your lavatory bowl if you’re not feeling well.  But please remember to put what you want in the subject line as dinners may contain spam.

So that’s all explained then. On reading that review, the evening starts to come back to me, so I’m guessing that I was there.

Subterranean Homesick Highs, “MTWD Lost Masterpiece”, Middlesex v Leicestershire at Southgate Day 2, 12 September 2007

Leicestershire CCC Squad, August 2007, Public Domain (SGGH)

This is the last of my MTWD lost masterpieces. The background to the phenomenon of MTWD “lost masterpieces” is explained in this link – click here. In short, Sportnetwork permanently lost a swathe of published features from 2007.

But fear not; I tend to keep everything.

I need to explain some terms here. “Lover” is Gerry The Bookseller. The Special One and Special K is Murali Kartik. I wasn’t really reading ethics stuff for the Worshipful Company of Estate Realists (no, really not), but I was on the BCS Ethics Panel by then, so I suspect that I was reading papers pertaining to that role.

I, of course, am Ged in these 2007 pieces, rather relentlessly using the Vaughanian third person and present tense in my cricket report writing style. Ged is over that now.

Subterranean Homesick Highs

 

“Ged feat. Lover” reports from a cavern beneath the mound that is The Walker Ground in Southgate. It was an up and down sort of day; Middlesex in the ascendancy and Leicestershire zooming in the other direction. Ged arrives late and misses lots of action, but Lover provides the vital update to enable Ged to complete his report.  Confused?  You will be.

Lover steps up to the plate and comes to the party

Ged had some business to attend to this morning, so he arrived at The Walker Ground 11:30/11:40 ish.  Ged neatly parked the Gedmobile (named Nobby) and spotted Lover chatting to someone at the Adelaide end.  Recalling that Lover is usually a punctual sort of chap, and recalling that Lover owed Ged a quid from a transaction earlier in the season, Ged spotted two opportunities.

“Morning Lover” says Ged, pausing only to watch his first ball of the day, with which Special K dispensed with Sadler – a nick through to Ben Scott.  “Seems I’ve brought the team some luck”, says Ged.  “Not really”, replies Lover, “that must be the fifth wicket this morning”.  “Cruumbs”, says Ged, ”good job I’ve run into you then; you can help be to cover the bit of the match I’ve missed”.  “Happy to help”, says Lover, “what do you need to know?”  “Tell me about all these wickets”, I ask.  And thus spake Lover.

“Well, it didn’t look too promising at first.  Lots of good deliveries but nothing quite coming off for Middlesex.  Then all the wickets started to fall.  That’s it really”

“Tell us about the wickets, Lover, the readers like to know about wickets,” Ged interjected.

“Kartik took most of them, I think, although Murtagh got one (or was it two?).  Anyway, they’re coming thick and fast now,” Lover mumbled.

“A little more detail, perhaps, Lover” Ged politely enquired.  “Means of dismissal, for instance?”.

“Who knows?  Who cares?  Make it up.  No-one will notice.  Say what you like and credit it to me.”  Lover had clearly reached his limit.

“I think I’ll suggest that Nixon signalled and then attempted a massive reverse sweep as part of the captain’s campaign to restore order to the innings, overbalanced and was stumped off a wide one when Scott did an acrobatic take and swipe”, I said, half expecting Lover to correct me and thus to glean the information I wanted that way.

“Yeh, it went something like that”, Lover muttered.

“Gosh, thanks Lover”, I said, “and by the way, you owe me a quid”.

In a Heap

Ged tries to set up his stall in a quiet corner of the Phil Edmonds excavation, but a particularly helpful steward tells him that he is too close to the scoreboard (about 15 yards away from it), so he’ll have to muck in with the rest further round.  Ged was especially impressed by the nice couple who subsequently set themselves up on the exact same spot, only to be confronted by the steward.  “Thank you”, they said, “we’ll move in a few minutes, when we’re ready” and then sat there for the rest of the day.  Civil disobedience; don’t ya love it?

Ged then saw the rest of Leicestershire collapse in a heap.  Henderson nicked one through to Scotty.  Masters played an ugly stroke to get caught at slip by Strauss off Special K (that was Special K’s fivefer), Jerome Taylor nicked Finn’s first ball of the day through to Scotty (fivefer for Scotty too) and Naik was soon to follow as a sixth for The Special One.

By this point, Ged was well placed in the Phil Edmonds excavation sitting near a couple of Leicestershire fans (one of whom coincidentally turned out to be John Maunders dad – people really will start to talk about Ged!).  They seemed unsurprised at the collapse and at least glad that Maunders had top scored for his team.

Batting again

By this time, Ged had made a start on his work.  The Worshipful Company of Estate Realists have asked Ged to help them put together a paper on ethics in the estate agency profession.  Unsurprisingly, there is little material to be had on this subject, but Ged wanted to have a look through the little that does exist (and remember that Government and Quango papers cannot weigh in at under 100 pages).  Best part of a day at the cricket would be ideal for such a task.

Middlesex started unsurprisingly slowly and seemed little troubled by Masters and Taylor up front – the latter being clearly the more challenging of the two.  Soon, Masters gave up in favour of Henderson, who bowled tight but didn’t look as tricky as The Special One.

Straussy decided to go the sweep route and Hendo had him LBW.  Billy the Kid and Captain Ted set a “steady as she goes” course through till tea.

Half an hour (eight overs to be precise) before tea, for some reason, Leics took a drink break.  Seemed odd.

Ged made some good headway with his reading and even made some notes, despite occasional interruptions from friends and neighbours.

Evening session

It was a beautiful late afternoon at Southgate – just as Ged always likes to ponder about the place – but it wasn’t to be a beautiful evening session for Billy the Kid.  First ball after tea, Hendo hits the Kid’s pad.  The umpire thinks for a moment, raises the finger and Billy the Kid looks back at the umpire with a look of utter astonishment.  The Kid drags himself off, with a couple of backward stares and then enters the players’ tent.  There is then the sound of willow on something other than leather from within the tent.  Big Perce would be apoplectic at this point; thank heavens he wasn’t there to see it.

Captain Ted and Joycey looked steady – indeed during this phase they looked to get on top of the bowling and the score advanced rapidly.  Jigar Naik (which sounded like a term of abuse when his name was announced over the tannoy) was mostly tight but also gave away a few.  Ryan Cummins (Ged wondered, Pooter-like, whether he was always goin’) was expensive.

Then the softest of dismissals for Joycey (he’s had that sort of season) and only a short stay for Captain Morgan who nicked the hapless Cummins through to Nixon for 1, which was 1 better than his first innings.  Ged lamented that he has yet to see Morgan demonstrate his budding, tremendous talent in a first class match.

Fifteen minutes before stumps (with just four overs remaining in the day) Leics take another drinks break.  The turkeys go bananas over in the Phil Edmonds excavation and a near riot is only averted by some excellent stewarding, especially the steward who has such precise ideas on where chairs can and cannot be placed in the excavation.

At this point, Ged decided that he didn’t want to get mixed up in crowd trouble and anyway he needed to avoid the traffic on a big footie night, and so Ged made an early exit.  Apparently Captain Ted reached his ton before stumps.  Perhaps someone who remained till the end could describe that moment and also let us know if there were further crowd incidents at the end of play.

So that’s it for Ged – no more live cricket this season.  Ged did get home in time to see the last 7 overs of Zimbabwe teaching the Aussies a lesson and Ged might as well get used to televised cricket for a while now.  But the memory of an early autumn evening at Southgate when the weather is spot on and Middlesex are doing well really does take some beating.  Which is probably more than can be said for Leicestershire just now.

If by any chance anyone is still reading and cannot guess what happened in the match, here is a link to the scorecard.