Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, Café Rouge Maida Vale, 13 September 2007

My diary suggests that I at least planned to go to an Ivan Shakespeare memorial dinner on 13 September 2007.

In truth, I don’t recall this particular one. It was just a few weeks after my dad died, so I might have skipped it, but I have a feeling I was there. In those days we always gathered in the (now defunct) Café Rouge Maida Vale.

Image from AllInLondon.co.uk https://www.allinlondon.co.uk/restaurants/restaurant-1227.php

The story of the NewsRevue writers alumni dinners generally is explained in the following piece from 2017:

Ultimate Love and Happy Tories, Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, Café Rouge Holborn, 3 March 2017

Mercifully, we have a contemporaneous, verbatim report of the 13 September 2007 evening from John Random, who wrote:

Thanks to all those who braved the Tube Strike/Floods/Terracotta Army Delete As Appropriate  last night to come to the 24th Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, an annual event that takes place four times a year in the old scout hut.  For those of you who couldn’t make it – perhaps because you were in an oil-rich/war-torn/fat-free/Delete As Appropriate country, there is however good news. The Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinners are now available on Second Life.  At the inaugural Second Life Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner a virtual Colin Stutt exchanged virtual quips with a digitally-enhanced Barry Grossman.  Sadly, a virtual Keith Whickham had to cry off at the last minute because his avatar had a job on Third Life, while Hugh Rycroft couldn’t make it because he was in Pond Life.  The whole dinner can be now downloaded into your lavatory bowl if you’re not feeling well.  But please remember to put what you want in the subject line as dinners may contain spam.

So that’s all explained then. On reading that review, the evening starts to come back to me, so I’m guessing that I was there.

Subterranean Homesick Highs, “MTWD Lost Masterpiece”, Middlesex v Leicestershire at Southgate Day 2, 12 September 2007

Leicestershire CCC Squad, August 2007, Public Domain (SGGH)

This is the last of my MTWD lost masterpieces. The background to the phenomenon of MTWD “lost masterpieces” is explained in this link – click here. In short, Sportnetwork permanently lost a swathe of published features from 2007.

But fear not; I tend to keep everything.

I need to explain some terms here. “Lover” is Gerry The Bookseller. The Special One and Special K is Murali Kartik. I wasn’t really reading ethics stuff for the Worshipful Company of Estate Realists (no, really not), but I was on the BCS Ethics Panel by then, so I suspect that I was reading papers pertaining to that role.

I, of course, am Ged in these 2007 pieces, rather relentlessly using the Vaughanian third person and present tense in my cricket report writing style. Ged is over that now.

Subterranean Homesick Highs

 

“Ged feat. Lover” reports from a cavern beneath the mound that is The Walker Ground in Southgate. It was an up and down sort of day; Middlesex in the ascendancy and Leicestershire zooming in the other direction. Ged arrives late and misses lots of action, but Lover provides the vital update to enable Ged to complete his report.  Confused?  You will be.

Lover steps up to the plate and comes to the party

Ged had some business to attend to this morning, so he arrived at The Walker Ground 11:30/11:40 ish.  Ged neatly parked the Gedmobile (named Nobby) and spotted Lover chatting to someone at the Adelaide end.  Recalling that Lover is usually a punctual sort of chap, and recalling that Lover owed Ged a quid from a transaction earlier in the season, Ged spotted two opportunities.

“Morning Lover” says Ged, pausing only to watch his first ball of the day, with which Special K dispensed with Sadler – a nick through to Ben Scott.  “Seems I’ve brought the team some luck”, says Ged.  “Not really”, replies Lover, “that must be the fifth wicket this morning”.  “Cruumbs”, says Ged, ”good job I’ve run into you then; you can help be to cover the bit of the match I’ve missed”.  “Happy to help”, says Lover, “what do you need to know?”  “Tell me about all these wickets”, I ask.  And thus spake Lover.

“Well, it didn’t look too promising at first.  Lots of good deliveries but nothing quite coming off for Middlesex.  Then all the wickets started to fall.  That’s it really”

“Tell us about the wickets, Lover, the readers like to know about wickets,” Ged interjected.

“Kartik took most of them, I think, although Murtagh got one (or was it two?).  Anyway, they’re coming thick and fast now,” Lover mumbled.

“A little more detail, perhaps, Lover” Ged politely enquired.  “Means of dismissal, for instance?”.

“Who knows?  Who cares?  Make it up.  No-one will notice.  Say what you like and credit it to me.”  Lover had clearly reached his limit.

“I think I’ll suggest that Nixon signalled and then attempted a massive reverse sweep as part of the captain’s campaign to restore order to the innings, overbalanced and was stumped off a wide one when Scott did an acrobatic take and swipe”, I said, half expecting Lover to correct me and thus to glean the information I wanted that way.

“Yeh, it went something like that”, Lover muttered.

“Gosh, thanks Lover”, I said, “and by the way, you owe me a quid”.

In a Heap

Ged tries to set up his stall in a quiet corner of the Phil Edmonds excavation, but a particularly helpful steward tells him that he is too close to the scoreboard (about 15 yards away from it), so he’ll have to muck in with the rest further round.  Ged was especially impressed by the nice couple who subsequently set themselves up on the exact same spot, only to be confronted by the steward.  “Thank you”, they said, “we’ll move in a few minutes, when we’re ready” and then sat there for the rest of the day.  Civil disobedience; don’t ya love it?

Ged then saw the rest of Leicestershire collapse in a heap.  Henderson nicked one through to Scotty.  Masters played an ugly stroke to get caught at slip by Strauss off Special K (that was Special K’s fivefer), Jerome Taylor nicked Finn’s first ball of the day through to Scotty (fivefer for Scotty too) and Naik was soon to follow as a sixth for The Special One.

By this point, Ged was well placed in the Phil Edmonds excavation sitting near a couple of Leicestershire fans (one of whom coincidentally turned out to be John Maunders dad – people really will start to talk about Ged!).  They seemed unsurprised at the collapse and at least glad that Maunders had top scored for his team.

Batting again

By this time, Ged had made a start on his work.  The Worshipful Company of Estate Realists have asked Ged to help them put together a paper on ethics in the estate agency profession.  Unsurprisingly, there is little material to be had on this subject, but Ged wanted to have a look through the little that does exist (and remember that Government and Quango papers cannot weigh in at under 100 pages).  Best part of a day at the cricket would be ideal for such a task.

Middlesex started unsurprisingly slowly and seemed little troubled by Masters and Taylor up front – the latter being clearly the more challenging of the two.  Soon, Masters gave up in favour of Henderson, who bowled tight but didn’t look as tricky as The Special One.

Straussy decided to go the sweep route and Hendo had him LBW.  Billy the Kid and Captain Ted set a “steady as she goes” course through till tea.

Half an hour (eight overs to be precise) before tea, for some reason, Leics took a drink break.  Seemed odd.

Ged made some good headway with his reading and even made some notes, despite occasional interruptions from friends and neighbours.

Evening session

It was a beautiful late afternoon at Southgate – just as Ged always likes to ponder about the place – but it wasn’t to be a beautiful evening session for Billy the Kid.  First ball after tea, Hendo hits the Kid’s pad.  The umpire thinks for a moment, raises the finger and Billy the Kid looks back at the umpire with a look of utter astonishment.  The Kid drags himself off, with a couple of backward stares and then enters the players’ tent.  There is then the sound of willow on something other than leather from within the tent.  Big Perce would be apoplectic at this point; thank heavens he wasn’t there to see it.

Captain Ted and Joycey looked steady – indeed during this phase they looked to get on top of the bowling and the score advanced rapidly.  Jigar Naik (which sounded like a term of abuse when his name was announced over the tannoy) was mostly tight but also gave away a few.  Ryan Cummins (Ged wondered, Pooter-like, whether he was always goin’) was expensive.

Then the softest of dismissals for Joycey (he’s had that sort of season) and only a short stay for Captain Morgan who nicked the hapless Cummins through to Nixon for 1, which was 1 better than his first innings.  Ged lamented that he has yet to see Morgan demonstrate his budding, tremendous talent in a first class match.

Fifteen minutes before stumps (with just four overs remaining in the day) Leics take another drinks break.  The turkeys go bananas over in the Phil Edmonds excavation and a near riot is only averted by some excellent stewarding, especially the steward who has such precise ideas on where chairs can and cannot be placed in the excavation.

At this point, Ged decided that he didn’t want to get mixed up in crowd trouble and anyway he needed to avoid the traffic on a big footie night, and so Ged made an early exit.  Apparently Captain Ted reached his ton before stumps.  Perhaps someone who remained till the end could describe that moment and also let us know if there were further crowd incidents at the end of play.

So that’s it for Ged – no more live cricket this season.  Ged did get home in time to see the last 7 overs of Zimbabwe teaching the Aussies a lesson and Ged might as well get used to televised cricket for a while now.  But the memory of an early autumn evening at Southgate when the weather is spot on and Middlesex are doing well really does take some beating.  Which is probably more than can be said for Leicestershire just now.

If by any chance anyone is still reading and cannot guess what happened in the match, here is a link to the scorecard.

England v India 7th ODI, Lord’s, 8 September 2007

Who’d have thought that a seven match ODI series between these two teams would go down to the wire?

I booked this one mostly because Janie was at that time expressing a preference for ODIs and it seemed a rare opportunity to take in some late season cricket at Lord’s.

Still a bit numb from all that had happened this summer, my recall of this match is not great. We’d been out to dinner with Charlotte the night before – she left quite early in the morning while we prepared the picnic.

Judging from the scorecard, it looks as though India finally ran out of steam at the end of a long tour.  Lord’s tends to get lower and slower by the end of the season. Perhaps the Indian batsmen set off trying to score far more than would be possible. Perhaps England bowled well.

No perhaps about our picnic – it would have been a good one.

Dinner With Charlotte At The Ealing Park Tavern, Then The Glass House Kew, 14 July 2007 & 7 September 2007, not 4 August 2007

Charlotte (Charlie) went through a small phase that summer of staying with us overnight Saturday to Sunday and we’d take her out to dinner.

The first of the two that summer was an excellent gastro pub, the Ealing Park Tavern.

Still well regarded at the time of writing – click here for a link to reviews.

The second was at the Glass House Kew.  Trendy and very good food if I remember correctly.  Click here for reviews.

I originally thought the second evening was 4 August, but we needed to postpone that one due to my dad’s indisposition, so we rescheduled for 7 September.

The weekend before that, 1 September, Anthea and Mitchell came over to to Sandall Close for dinner.

Thems was very pleasant evenings, thems was.

 

Holiday Weekend With Hil and Chris In Bristol, 25 to 27 August 2007

I think this might have been our first stay at the Hotel Du Vin in Bristol. It was very good and friendly back then.

We tried the Bistro there on the first evening, taking dinner with Hil and Chris there.

On the Sunday,  Hil & Chris threw a family barbecue for the holiday weekend/my birthday, which was all rather pleasant.

I wasn’t in the most celebratory mood that year, just a few weeks after dad’s death.

Still, the weather smiled on us and Hil laid on a pretty splendid barby, as one might expect.

We also enjoyed the big Hotel Du Vin breakfast, I seem to remember. And the big bath in the room we had chosen.

Thank Evans For Little Gullys, “MTWD Lost Masterpiece”, Middlesex v Gloucestershire at Lord’s Day 3, 24 August 2007

The background to the phenomenon of MTWD “lost masterpieces” is explained in this link – click here. In short, Sportnetwork permanently lost a swathe of published features from 2007.

But fear not; I tend to keep everything.

Readers will be delighted to learn that I didn’t really chair the judging of double-glazing awards, but I was chairing the National Payroll Giving Awards in those days.

Connoisseurs will notice Ged (that’s me) using the Vaughanian third person a great deal in this report.

Thank Evans For Little Gullys – Middlesex v Glos Day 3

Early Doors

Ged decided to do a day’s work at Lord’s today.  He has been asked to Chair a panel of the great and good judging for a prestigious awards event.  The UK Double Glazing Awards, sponsored by the Worshipful Company of Double-Glaziers and Sealed Unitarians.  Goodness alone knows why Ged has been asked to fulfil this important and pivotal role in the wheels of UK commerce, but some senior figures from industry, the civil service and the charity world are set to have their casting vote cast by Ged.

So, Ged gathered 28 award applications, his trusty digital tranny, a small bag of rations and off he set to Lord’s to spend the day watching cricket and marking award applications.

He didn’t leave home until 10:30, which would still enable him to get to Lord’s on time for the start by use of public transport or a Hackney Carriage, but part of Ged’s pleasure on such days is the 35 minute walk, so, suitably comforted and watered  he got to a seat in the middle tier of the pavilion between 10 and quarter past.  Ed Smith had added half a dozen runs to the overnight score.

 

Down to Business

While Strauss and Smith got down to business trying to build a score worth having, Ged got down to the alternative business of reading through several applications for the “Best Excuse For Dodgy Double-Glazing Craftsmanship 2007” Award.  The repetitive nature of the applicants’ claims chimed nicely with the metronomic accuracy of Lewis’ and Kirby’s bowling.  Both were unlucky not to take wickets, as they bowled well, although Smith and Strauss were rarely troubled that much.  Ged felt that seeing off the new ball pair would be vital.

Around an hour into play, Ged moved on to the “Best Use of Attractive Daughter as Decoy on Double-Glazing Sales Visit 2007” award; the delightful young lady who had accompanied such a salesman on a visit to Daisy’s house earlier in the year strangely had not been nominated.  And around that time Hardinges (announced by Mr Perambulate the announcer in the singular; “Harding”) came on to replace Kirby at the Pavilion End to bowl pies that were suitably despatched square (ahh, “square pies” I hear you all sigh) and in front of wicket for four with delightful regularity.

Lewis seemed to want to bowl at the Nursery End all morning, but eventually made way for debutant Tom Stayt.  This seemed to be a suitable time to move on to the “Best Repair of Double Glazing Damaged by a Cricket Ball 2007” award.  Straussy, by now motoring, clearly thought similarly, but on 75, just before lunch, he holed out attempting a big one off debutant Stayt; 135/2 and that’s lunch.

 

Lunch

Ged was very much aware that he wanted to follow the England game on his radio as well as the Middlesex game before his eyes.  And while he can cope with two sets of stimulation (Middlesex and Glazing), three simultaneous sources might blow his mind.  So he swiftly moved on to the largest category, “Best Telesales Bullshit About Discounts Only Being Available If You Sign Up For Double-Glazing Today 2007” award.  Abstemiously, Ged merely munched an apple and a small bag of almonds while he marked.  Such can be the glories of a pavilion lunch.

 

Afternoon Delight, Glaws Style

In the 35 minutes between the resumption and the start of the England game, Ged marked the last two categories quickly; only two applicants for each which made it easy; “Most Ludicrous Freebie Thrown In With Double-Glazing Order 2007” and “Most Flagrant Extra Charge For Something That Wasn’t Included in the Original Price”.  Meanwhile Joyce and Smith were going great guns.  Ged read the proposed eulogy for the “Special Award for Carbon-Neutral-New-PVC of the Year Award”, plugged in his ears for the England game and then set to, summarising his scores and filling in forms.

At this point, unbeknown to Ged at that time (Ged remaining in the Pav until completing his work), Barmy Kev arrived at Lord’s and took his seat in the Upper Eddy.  The score was 197/2 and Middlesex seemed to be cruising.  Then, against the run of play (although Kirby had been brought back at the Pavilion End), Joyce got one that really flew across him and he was caught well at slip.  Two balls later, Rymps played on trying to leave one.  Next over,  Stayt got Smith caught at slip.  And only one scratchy extra was added before Scott was caught behind of Stayt for a blob.  197/2 had becomme 198/6 and everyone was wondering whether or not Middlesex would manage even one batting bonus point.

By all accounts, at this point the Turkeys in the Upper Eddy offered Barmy Kev considerable sums of money to go away and never ever come back.  And by those same accounts Barmy “Goes4cash” Kev seriously considered their offer.

But Middlesex rallied a bit, Vaas and Murtagh eventually getting that vital 1st batting point.  Ged finished his work and decided to wander round to the Upper Eddy for a change of view.  Despite (or perhaps because of) his abstemious lunch, he accidentally bumped into the ice cream van and felt obliged to help out on a chilly day by parting company with £1.70 for a small cone with flake.

As Ged emerged at the top of the Upper Eddy, cone already long gone, the light was offered and accepted in return for an early tea, with 44 overs still remaining.

 

We Had Joy, We Had Fun, We Had Evans and Some Evening Sun

The Upper Eddy was the place to be for that evening session.  Early tea was a wise move, as no overs were lost and the light improved considerably in those 20 minutes and there were even hints of possible sunshine – indeed the sun shone for a reasonable chunk of that session.

Middlesex pressed on to 300+, despite losing Murtagh soon after tea, Murali Kartik managed, with minimal footwork, to support Cha Cha Vaas to a respectable Middlesex score.  305/7 was enough to convince Ed Smith that we wanted 30 overs at them tonight, so declaration came and there was much debate about whether this was too soon, too late or about right.

At 50/0 it looked as though Middlesex had goofed, but Ed called on debutant Danny Evans from the Pavilion End, who looked quicker than the “medium-fast” tag on  his cricnfo sheet and who induced a hoik behind square from Spearman, caught well by Joyce, a big first wicket in 1st class cricket. 1-1-0-1 read Evans figures after his 1st 1st class over.

But then the clouds returned briefly and Ed entered into negotiations with the umpires.  On came Kartik at the Nursery End and Rymps at the Pavilion End.  Soon Kartik had induced stumpings off Hodnett and Ali; Ed almost shook hands with umpire Burgess to thank him for the enforced but inspired owling change.

And when the sunlight returned, Murtagh and Richardson managed to snare one each before the close.

Could Middlesex induce a follow-on even from here?  Can Middlesex dictate terms to some extent to agree a sensible declaration, joke bowl and chase.  Glaws are -5 on over rate at the moment – pitiful really even without a spinner – play finished about 19:15 – so they might see such a scenario as a way to bag 2.5 points.

It’s really hard to get a match done in 2 days, but Middlesex did all the right things Day 3 to try to make that happen.

An excellent day of cricket at Lord’s, given the dire weather-affected match situation at the start of Day 3.

If by any chance anyone is still reading and keen to know what happened in the match – here is a link to the scorecard.

Absurdia: A Resounding Tinkle and Gladly Otherwise by N.F. Simpson, The Crimson Hotel by Michael Frayn, Donmar Warehouse, 18 August 2007

I’m not sure we were quite in the mood for a triple-bill of British Absurdist comedies. I’m not sure we’d have been in the mood for these plays even if we had been in a more appropriate mood.

Billed as being a precursor to Pythonesque comedy, the only python-like thing in the 1960s N.F. Simpson material was talk about a neighbours snake. His plays were certainly more English whimsy than European absurdism.

The Michael Frayn was a modern piece, but lesser Frayn in my view.

Great cast; it would probably seem worthwhile watching Peter Capaldi paint the ceiling. Douglas Hodge directed this production – he seems to have a good eye and ear for this sort of stuff. It’s just not really our sort of stuff.

The critics weren’t too sure either:

Dad’s Funeral, South London Crematorium/Streatham Park Cemetery, 13 August 2007

In the orthodox Jewish tradition, the funeral takes place very rapidly after death. But mum and dad had opted out of the orthodox way and had planned to be cremated. Hence the week’s interval between dad’s demise and his funeral.

The funeral took place at South London Crematorium/Streatham Park Cemetery at 14:30 that day. The funeral was officiated by the Streatham Liberal Synagogue’s Rabbi. I wrote and read a eulogy which I shall upload here, with any other artefacts I think worthy of retention, when I go through the relevant papers.

We, family and friends retreated to the house in Woodfield Avenue after the funeral, for a simple reception. I think Janie and I (which means Janie, really) organised the catering. A nice young woman whose name escapes me, who had quite recently catered a celebratory event for us. Janie will remember her name…

…took a bit of research, but it was of course Jo Buckingham of TRUFFLEhound.

 

The Enchantment by Victoria Benedictsson, Cottesloe Theatre, 11 August 2007

My recollection of this one is extremely limited. We saw this on the Saturday evening between my father’s death and the funeral. The programme helps my memory, as does Janie’s recall (also dredged with the help of the programme) and the reviews.

Victoria Benedictsson was a Swedish writer who had a difficult time as a modern woman in the early days of women’s liberation. She killed herself relatively young, but not before writing this loosely autobiographical play in the late 1880s. The play is now seen as a precursor to Scandinavian works such as Ibsen’s Hedda Gabler and A Doll’s House.

I note from the programme that Nancy Carroll played the lead; I subsequently discovered that she is an Alleyn’s alum; good for her. She is an excellent actress. I also spotted in the programme that Paul Miller (now taking the Orange Tree Richmond from strength to strength) directed this production. In the round too; good training for the Orange Tree.

It was clearly one of those slow build, late 19th century dramas. Probably just as well given my/our state of mind that weekend; a frantic, high octane play such as Cyprus Avenue – the piece we saw the other night as I write – would not have gone down well in the circumstances.

Clare Bayley, who wrote the version of the play which was performed in this production, has a good page on this project, including interviews and stuff, on her site – here.  She also includes some good quotes from the critics in her piece.

Indeed, it seems to have gone down well enough with the critics that matter:

England v India, 3rd Test, Day 2, Oval, 10 August 2007

I remember very little about this day. It was between dad’s passing away on the Monday and the funeral, all scheduled and arranged for the following Monday.

I considered not going, but mum and Janie both saw no sense in me moping around at home instead – there was nothing left to arrange. My original plan had been to go Beer Festing with the Z/Yen crowd the night before, but I am sure I pulled out of that event that year; there had been and would be other years.

But with the Oval so close to mum and dad’s house, it would be an easy hop over to mum’s after stumps, which is exactly what I did.

The guests that day were Harish Gohil (Charles was down to join us but ducked out, I think because he had needed to take so much time off for other reasons that summer), David Highton (formerly of Broadcasting Support Services), Shums Cassim (who was trying to get SpecialZm going), Stuart Caplin (a very charming gentleman from St James’s Place – Shums choice of guest).

Judging from the scorecard – here – India spent the day making England suffer having made England suffer the day before – gosh India were a strong test side at that time.

I think I made my excuses a little early to beat the crush and get to mum’s at a reasonable hour. I guess I travelled to the house from the Oval using the tube and then a minicab from Balham – not the pocket-money-preserving tuppence bus fare of my childhood.

Janie came to the house and I recall mum was in a very dark mood by that evening. We tried to distract her and lighten the mood a little (which I think is what you are supposed to do in these circumstances) and then got told off for inappropriate levity.