How Could We Sing The Heavy Rollers Song In A Strange Land? England v India At Trent Bridge, 8 & 9 August 2002

Trent Bridge Cricket Ground: view from the old Parr Stand, 1998 by John Sutton, CC BY-SA 2.0

Steeped in controversy, the 2002 visit to Trent Bridge. For reasons unbeknown to me, the idea of visiting Edgbaston in May for the early season test match there was rejected by the elders of The Heavy Rollers, in favour of this excursion.

The following e-mail from Nigel, dated 7 November 2001, sort-of explains.

Dear Jeff, Ian, David, Charles and Nick,

We agreed, I think, unanimously that we won’t resume our traditional
places at Edgbaston this coming year given that it is taking place in May.
However some mutterings abound for us to up sticks and try Trent Bridge.
This would be for 8th and 9th August, in Nottingham, against India
(2nd
Test) and it would mean adding in some accommodation costs if we do
the 2 days.

So, before I do anything, could you let me know if you are interested.

In the end, neither Jeff – who pulled out of this idea quite early, I think – nor Nigel – who ended up withdrawing at the last minute due to Viv’s sudden and unfortunate indisposition – attended that year.

Indeed, on subsequent occasions, there were even suggestions (mostly emanating from Jeff, I suspect) that 2002 should be scrubbed from the record of Heavy Rollers events, by dint of it not being at Edgbaston and neither featuring Jeff nor Nigel.

Unfortunately, there is nothing in the sacred texts of The Heavy Rollers to provide a categorical answer to this question. Something akin to Exodus 20, with its tablets of stone and explicit commandments, might provide unequivocal guidance. But Nigel’s revelation that led to the Heavy Rollers is less tangible than that:

Curtains as specified in Exodus 26 – click here for the HR origins piece

My judgment on this point is clear. Nigel had organised the 2002 event and would have been there but for mishap. Ipso facto it was a Heavy Rollers occasion. Anyway, history is written and shaped by the victors; I am writing the history of The Heavy Rollers and I have deemed this most certainly to have been a Heavy Rollers event.

Importantly, 2002 was the first visit for several people who had, or have, a regular spot in The Heavy Rollers story – in particular Dan Steed and Harish Gohil.

Dan – at home with The Heavy Rollers in 2003

Harish in 2004 – by then a regular Roller

There was also an early example of a “one hit wonder” guest appearance that year. Here is the cast list from 2002:

  • Harish “Harsha Goble” Gohil (a 2002 initiate);
  • Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett;
  • Nick “The Boy Malloy” Bartlett;
  • “Nick’s Mate” Matt (a one-hit wonder, Heavy Rollers-wise);
  • Me “Ged Ladd”
  • David “David Peel” Steed (second day only);
  • Dan “Dan Peel” Steed (a 2002 initiate – second day only).

We stayed in a hotel described in my records as Nottingham Premier Lodge. No Premier Inns go by that name now and there are several in Nottingham – it might have gone or it might have been this one…or at least one that looked like this – click here. It was functional, most certainly adequate, inexpensive, and also, it has to be said, rather soulless, as such places tend to be.

I seem to recall those of us who were staying at the hotel ahead of Day One (all but The Steeds) purchasing a picnic of sandwiches, drinks and snacks on the morning of the match on the way to the ground. Not yet the post-Steed fierce debates, about Doritos and the like, that latterly echoed through the hollow chamber of Harborne Waitrose on the morning of the match. Nor the beautifully crafted and curated picnics provided by Mrs Malloy to ease the pressure on the pre match Day One proceedings. For Day Two, I am pretty sure The Steeds brought with them a fine picnic for us all; that tended to be the Steed way.

In Jeff Tye’s absence, I picked up the mantle of running the prediction game…a mantle that Jeff, within a year or two, ended up leaving on my lap for posterity.

Below is the very first prediction game template that I produced.

By way of comparison, I have also managed to scan and upload Jeff Tye’s templates from 2001, which ended up in my hands after the Rollers fled for cover from the late afternoon rain that year:

The unfortunately absent Nigel had secured us excellent seats. For Day One we were at the front of the Fox Road Stand, for Day Two at the front of the Radcliffe Road End.

Here is a link to the scorecard and other Cricinfo resources from that match.

The match was badly rain-affected, such that we only got the equivalent of one day’s play across the two days; roughly two sessions on Day One and one session on Day Two.

I especially remember Dan Steed sensing that the authorities made sure, on Day Two, that we got precisely enough play to deny ticket refunds but no more than that. I suspect that the matter was coincidental rather than by design, but who knows?

On Day Two especially there were lengthy breaks in play – it was very disjointed. I recall someone (either Dan or Matt) buying one of those souvenir mini bat and ball kits, with which we (mostly me, Nick, Matt & Dan) engineered some quite enjoyable “yard cricket” around the back at the Radcliffe Road end.

We probably looked quite comical – I have asked Dall-E to help me to reimagine the scene:

Studying the scorecard, I realise that those of us who were there on Day One witnessed Steve Harmison‘s debut and those of us who were there on Day Two witnessed Harmison’s first two test wickets. Priceless treasures for our memories of live cricket-watching, those.

2002 is still in the era for which we have no Heavy Rollers photographs from the event itself. You might have noticed that all of the photographs above quote years other than 2002. For a significant fee there are professional photographs from that match available for purchase from Alamy – I’m not going to purchase any myself but you can look at some and make your own decision on whether to purchase or not from this link.

Observant readers/link-clickers of the above link will have spotted flag wavers in the crowd quite consistently waving the Flag of India, which, in their hands and the hands of most wavers, looks like this.

Flag of India, regular look

Unfortunately, Harish went his own way with the waving of his India flag at the front of the Fox Road Stand, waving the flag thusly:

Flag of India, Harish style

Some India supporters spotted Harish and his flag and approached him. They gently explained to him that he was wielding the flag upside down. They also kindly explained to Harish and to all of us the significance of the colour scheme; the green symbolising the land of India, the orange symbolising the glow of the sun above that land.

I have never forgotten their explanation and would henceforward be very sure which is the right or wrong way up…and why.

In a similar “never to be forgotten” vein, we Heavy Rollers have never let Harish forget the Indian flag incident, just to make absolutely sure that Harish never makes that same mistake again. We think of it as an act of kindness and educational policy to remind him about the matter at least once every four years when England play India…and sometimes on other occasions too.

Naturally, Harish’s trademark smile doesn’t leave his face when we are having such conversations.

I remember Harish cheering when England took a wicket, which to me seemed anomalous with the waving of an India flag. I asked him who he supports when England played India. His reply, typically Harish, I paraphrase:

I love it when England play India, because whoever wins, my team has won.

I was reminded of this wonderful attitude recently, when chatting with one of my real tennis friends from Leamington, who said, again I paraphrase:

I always win when I play real tennis. I am on court playing a game I love. That’s a win. I am spending time with friends I want to spend time with. That’s also a win. I also try to win the match I am playing, but even if I don’t win that, I already have won two out of three.

I think this attitude translates also to Heavy Rollersism. Of course we want to see our team do well and go on to win. But even on the occasions when it doesn’t go so well for England…or on the rare occasions when we see little or no play, it is still two wins out of three because we are watching the game we love with people with whom we want to spend our time. That Nigel was on to something when the Heavy Rollers idea was revealed to him from behind the curtains in 1995.

The Second Tufty Stackpole v The Children’s Society Cricket Match, Much In Need Of Improved Memories, 4 August 2002

Another e-artists’ impression of village cricket by Dall-E and me

By way of contrast with the first Tufty Stackpole v The Children’s Society match, which I remember well and have documented in some detail…

…and even by way of contrast with the third match, which took place in 2004

…the second match has almost totally evaded my memory. It existed. I have e-mail and diary evidence for it.

Here’s Charles “Charley the Gent Malloy” Bartlett’s shout out from 9 July 2002:

CRICKET MATCH – SUNDAY 4 AUGUST

I am delighted to say that we have arranged a cricket fixture a against a village cricket side called Tuffty Stackpole at their home ground in a village called North Crawley – it’s a 15 minute drive from the Milton Keynes turnoff on the M1 Motorway.

Some of you may remember we played them last Summer, it was a great day, great cricket, great food, great pubs and in beautiful surroundings – there is a small cover charge towards the food and refreshments.

I originally met members of Tufty Stackpole on TCS Treks in China and Peru, they are keen supporters of TCS, and monies from the cricket match will go towards sponsorship for other TCS Treks (sadly theirs not mine!).

The match will start around mid-day and be a 40 over match (that’s 40 overs
each!) – we will probably need a number of 12th men, for cover and substitutes, along with scorers as there is a full size scoreboard.

There will be a number of cars travelling, so transport should not be a problem, I expect everyone to be fixed up with a lift – there and back.

Please advise me on your availability ASAP.

This time around, Janie and I took the precaution of booking out the whole of the Monday following the match. We had a busy weekend ahead of the match, with a night at the Proms on the Saturday preceding.

Reflecting on my absence of memory for this fixture, I even wondered whether the match had been cancelled at the last minute due to an inability to get a team together or inclement weather.

But no.

Janie remembers attending one in which Tufty Stackpole soundly thrashed The Children’s Society – to such an extent that everyone agreed that it would not make sense to repeat the exercise unless or until the Children’s Society could muster a better eleven to give Tufty Stackpole a decent game.

That must have been this second match. The thrashing factor, together with the need to pull together a better squad, might at least in part explain why the fixture didn’t happen again until 2004.

We had no Biff this time around, no Martin Hinks and no Nigel “Father Barry”. “Big Papa Zambezi” Jeff Tye was there, as was Harish “Harsha Goble” Gohil. Janie thinks she remembers having a long and pleasant chat with Liz Tye on that surprisingly inclement August watching occasion, although that nice chat might have been another year of course.

The only other clues in my e-mail archive include a note from me to Chas on 31 July 2002 suggesting initials for some of us in a desperate attempt to make us sound more like real cricketers:

Perhaps

CPU Bartlett
JFDI Tye
ICT Harris
HTTP Gohil

Also an e-mail exchange between me and Chas after the event, on 16 August 2002, which shows we clearly had “strengthening the team for Tufty on our minds.

ME: Z/Yen is probably close to signing a lapsed but formerly decent club standard player, who would also be suitable and willing for the Tufty fixture.

CHAS: I think I am concerned at this remark by you – because I do not believe it. It is clearly designed to strengthen your team for the annual fixture at Regents Park against TCS!!. Will you stop at nothing to win that trophy?

ME: Nothing.

That hiring, I should say parenthetically, was Mark “Uncail Marcas” Yeandle, who did turn out for Z/Yen a good few times, but never did turn out for TCS against Tufty Stackpole. Probably, in Chas’s memory, Mark is best known for what he does best at cricket…watching. He has joined us several times, e.g. the never-to-be-forgotten 5th day of the 5th Test at the Oval in 2005 and the occasion at Lord’s in 2010 which Chas refers to as “The Day Of The Monster Strawberries” which came courtesy of Mark:

Returning to August 2002, the other thing that will have weakened my memory for this Tufty match is that it was just a few days before we headed off for our Heavy Rollers adventure at Trent Bridge that year:

Despite what happened in the cricket at Tufty in 2002, I’m sure the tea and libations after the match were up to the usual Tufty standards – see the report on the first match for all those sorts of details.

In short, I need help from other people who were at this second ever Tufty Stackpole v The Children’s Society match if we are to pull together anything more authoritative about the match than this.

Perhaps some of the Tufty folk have better memories of it and might be encouraged to chime in with their thoughts. If there is a scorebook somewhere in the North Crawley archives, with the details of the Tufty Stackpole v The Children’s Society matches, scans of those pages would add greatly to the record here.

We have no pictures from 2002 either. So, as it is, I have had to collaborate sparsely with Dall-E to generate some sort of pictorial record of the two sides.

Tufty Stackpole cricketers in 2002

The Children’s Society cricketers in 2002

Nepal, Tibet & Kerala, Placeholder & Links, 7 to 27 April 2002

Janie and I took a wonderful (but at times gruelling) trip to Nepal, Tibet & Kerala in April 2002.

This placeholder and links piece provides links to the full itinerary and photographs from that trip. I kept a good journal and have now uploaded blog pieces for individual days. If you want to start on those from the very beginning, start here or below:

Here is a link to the itinerary.

There are three photograph albums (i.e. the photos that made it with labels and comprise a pictorial travelogue in their own right) covering the whole trip, the first being Nepal and Lhasa, the second being the remainder of the Tibet trip and the brief return to Nepal, the third being Kerala:

08 Courtyards inside the Potala Palace, Lhasa G1_16
128 ...followed by Daal at the Thamel House restaurant D7_2
001 17 April 2002 Coconut water on road from Trivandrum to Cochin with our driver, Sharji D7_7

In addition to those labelled albums, there are the raw negative uploads available to view if you just cannot get enough of such pictures. There is an “album” of those that went through Daisy’s canera and an “album” of those that went through Ged’s. We have been known to take pictures with each other’s camera.

First Daisy:

TK_D1_ (28)

Then Ged’s:

TK_G4_ (17)

Some of the raw ones might be sideways and in the wrong sequence unless or until I do some more work ordering them, but they should at least be complete sets by the time you get to them, dear reader.

Nepal, Tibet & Kerala Day Twenty-One: From Kovalam To Home Via Red Tape & Doha, 27 April 2002

There is a placeholder with links to the itinerary and all the photos from this trip – click here or below:

Rise early – 5:30, early breakfast 6 o’clock, depart 6:45.

Say goodbye to Lerhic and Sharji, to embark on one of the most bureaucratic check-ins we’ve ever had – business class or no!

Final straw – after being told to go through security before going to the Business Lounge, we were told that we should not have gone through security before the Business Lounge and were stuck.

First world probelm this, i do not need to be told, thank you.

Mr Anonymous-Officious really got my goat by pretending he would help and then obfuscating obstructing.

As I made increasing loud and threatening complaint, charming Kochi (Qatar’s answer to Mr Sharma) saved the day, so we spent 30 blissful minutes in the best Business Lounge this side of Bangalore.

That’s all I wrote, folks, so the rest of the journey home must have passed incident free.

Nepal, Tibet & Kerala Day Twenty: Marari Beach To Surya Samudra In Kovalam, 26 April 2002

There is a placeholder with links to the itinerary and all the photos from this trip – click here or below:

Head off for Surya Samudra quite early so rise at six, take early breakfast, saying our goodbyes and paying bills.

Lerhic accompanies us to Kovalum along with Sharji driving (perhaps the namedrop of Purves earlier on the trip triggered this). We chat about Kerala tourism and hotels along the way and the four hours pass quickly.

I also clearly remember discovering that Lerhic and I had a “difficult client” in common; difficulties for Z/Yen were ancient history by 2002 (mid 1990s) whereas Lerhic had just suffered at the hands of this larger-than-life notable woman.

Surya Samudra is beautiful and Lerhic– Mr Fixit – has organised the Octagon for us – the Professor’s former digs and Bertolucci’s favourite room.

Importantly, The Octagon is right by the pool, enabling us quickly to change, lounge, take a club sandwich and chips, read, take shade, lounge, take sun, swim, take sun, read and finally stroll the grounds and dodge the local touts.

Rest, wash and prepare for dinner. We take prawns in creme de la mere (no lobsters today), plus grilled king fish, plus chapatis, carrots, spinach with coconut, coconut rice and lemon rice plus afters is banana and chocolate ice cream.

Meet lovely lady (Hilary) while dining and chat to her while waiting for monsoon like storm to pass before retiring early.

Nepal, Tibet & Kerala Days Fifteen To Nineteen: Five Full Days At Marari Beach, 21 to 25 April 2002

There is a placeholder with links to the itinerary and all the photos from this trip – click here or below:

We took a lovely pool villa at the Marari Beach Resort; we had a walled garden and our own small pool, which was glorious luxury.

We learnt from starstruck staff that Paul McCartney and Heather Mills had spent their honeymoon there a few weeks before our stay.

The Marari Beach Resort also had/has a superb Ayurvedic Centre where we could enjoy therapies galore.

Below is my journal for those few days and a sample of the photos. My entreaties that we were busy and having nightmarish days are very tongue in cheek. It was several days of sheer bliss.

21 April 2002

Busy day at Marari Beach resort.

Up early, played tennis, watched cricket highlights, ate breakfast, lounged around, checked out Ayervedic Centre with afternoon massage – also checked out shop.

Lounged around some more (poor weather now) slept, read, rested.

Had a lovely dinner of jumbo prawns thermidor washed down with a bottle of wine.

22 April 2002

Another busy day. Rose a little later today – Janie checked out the yoga class…

Krishnakurup the master, Anthony and Janie the apprentices

– short game of tennis afterwards – then breakfast – then lounging.

Cashews for lunch – I have Ayervedic massage again – more lounging – meditation class – rest – and then supper of butter chicken masala with butter nan bread washed down with beer.

23 April 2002

Another hectic day. Wake a little later and it is too hot for tennis. We sunbathe instead, take breakfast (I tried bacon and beans but realise that I prefer the Indian stuff– dosas, sambal, coconut chutney, puris etc plus fresh fruit and yoghurt).

Anthony (he was in the yoga class) shows us the organic garden and sewage plant (yes really).

Cashew snack lunch followed by Indian foot massage by [Krishnakurup] the yoga master (who is also the meditation master, foot massage master, formerly a maths master and was a headmaster)! Amazing treatment.

Then we take the late day sun and relax followed by cookery exhibition (fish curry and gourd and coconut).

Rest, then dinner of prawns mouli with coconut milk (aka “Prawn Shmuli”) with lime rice and some of that snake gourd stuff washed down with wine.

24 April 2002

Frantic day here at Marari Beach Resort.

Up early for tennis – fail to get cricket broadcast but learn that India won a nailbiter.

Take early morning sun – then breakfast.

Then early massage as Benny (my masseur) has afternoon off.

Then lounge – then snack toasty at beach grill – then lounge – then choose our crustations – then lounge – then try to stroll beach but the sand is much too hot – then lounge until dark – then rest…

…then go to beach grill and eat our lobsters, jumbo prawns and tiger prawns with wine.

25 April 2002

Nightmare of a day!

Play tennis a little later than Daisy would choose – took a little sun before breakfast, more sun, massage at noon, reading in the shade, cashew nuts, more reading (Daisy is rushing to finish The Age Of Kali so that she can give it to Sandeep.

Sandeep was the charming young man who looked after us at the Ayervedic Centre. We had several intertesting chats about ife, the universe and everything.

We take sun, we swim, we take sun, we read – nightmare.

As the sun fades we shower, pack, drop off the age of Kali, say goodbye to Sandeep and have a final stroll along the beach – lovely.

Finish packing and rest before supper – go to beach grill to share a seafood platter (squid, local fish, small prawns, tiger prawns, jumbo prawns) plus the smallest snapper they had which was gluttonously large and delicious grilled, with garlic butter, lemon butter and shrimp cocktail sauce. And wine.

Said goodbye to waiter Joice and returned early.

Nepal, Tibet & Kerala Day Fourteen: Cochin To Alleppey To Marari Beach, 20 April 2002

There is a placeholder with links to the itinerary and all the photos from this trip – click here or below:

Late start despite strike warnings yesterday (Lerhic has a cunning plan).

Two cars (one private) pick us up at 10.00 to ensure we can get through any pickets. Get to Alleppey incident free for rice boat on time – amazing boat trip – Alleppey round trip – including super seer fish, daal, cabbage and coconut and green beans lunch.

After lunch stop at Saint Mary’s church Champa Cullum – good look at the snake boat which allegedly wins prizes. Super day out!

At end of day drive circa 30 minutes to Marari Beach resort…

…where we are deposited in our pool villa. Got our bearings. We end of the day at the beach Grill with a seafood platter (tiger prawns, jumbo prawns, small prawns, local fish and squid) and the shellfish platter (the same, minus the local fish and squid but with extra big prawns and rock lobster). Beer to wash it down.

Nepal, Tibet & Kerala Day Thirteen: At Large In Cochin, 19 April 2002

There is a placeholder with links to the itinerary and all the photos from this trip – click here or below:

After breakfast (same except for hot pineapple jam) go into New City (Ernakulam) shopping. Success with shalwar kameez and sandals and skeeter beaters, but not so with cutlery and crockery.

Into Fort Cochin & Jewtown to one or two Emporia. Brought bronze man and silver pillbox for Daisy. Looked at and booked Brunton Boat Yard for dinner.

Returned lunchtime with purchases.

Snacked on beer and cashews – then relaxed on our balcony in the afternoon until the rains came.

Later had Keralan massage (not quite Ayervedic). Two onto one – Daisy in our room, me in the therapy room. Amazing.

One thing I particularly remember about the massage was how incredibly knowledgeable my masseurs were about cricket. When they found out I liked cricket they wanted to discuss England cricket with me, but seemed to know more about it than I did.

Watched sunset again and took took took to Brunton boat yard for a good meal with the first wine of the holiday – £50 price tag high for these parts. Prawns in coconut milk soup (both) plus spicy grilled mullet plus prawns Tandoori style (Daisy).

Returned on foot, dodging savage dogs watched a little more test match [West Indies v India] and slept.

Nepal, Tibet & Kerala Day Twelve: Cochin, 18 April 2002

There is a placeholder with links to the itinerary and all the photos from this trip – click here or below:

Sleep brilliantly – lovely breakfast of toast, home made jam and muffins, eggs for Daisy, fresh fruit and squeezed orange juice.

Tour in the morning – first stop St Francis Church…

…then on to Chinese fishing nets…

…then Jew Town (antiques and spices) including the synagogue…

Then the Mattancherry Palace (known as the Dutch Palace despite being Portugese), one or two emporia/shops for bearings and then home.

Light lunch – prawns on sticks and mini dosas on hotel terrace.

Delightful Sheila provides us with ideas for shopping and agrees to come in early to advise Sharji.

We rest by pool, swim a little and enjoy late today sun on our terrace.

Then I spot cricketers on the parade ground and watch for a while. Get dressed to go out and play with “the other children”, by which time they were gone.

Consolation dinner – tangy grilled prawns – Daisy – and mixed seafood platter – me. Chocolate roulade – all delightful.

We were serenaded by Antony and Benny while we ate that evening. We still sometimes listen to the CD of their gentle, simple flute and strings music and strangely, at the time of writing, in February 2020, are there to be seen as one of the three images up front on the Malabar House website.

Nepal, Tibet & Kerala Day Eleven: Kathmandu To Cochin Via Bangalore, Trivandrum & Mr Sharma, 17 April 2002

There is a placeholder with links to the itinerary and all the photos from this trip – click here or below:

Rose 4 o’clock-ish because flight has been brought forward 1 1/2 hours. I get irritated when we see the old flight time still on the board but Mangal gets the obsequious and ubiquitous Mr Sharma to explain that we really do have to leave at 7:15, not 8:45.

Mr Sharma pops up everywhere to make sure we are happy – including, hilariously, even on the plane.

That really is not an exaggeration. Mr Sharma came over to ask if we were OK and if we wanted anything so many times. When he disappeared from the boarding lounge, I said to Daisy, as a joke, “I bet he even pops onto the plane to make sure we are OK”…which he did! We had trouble containing our laughter, while telling him that we were still OK and didn’t need anything else.

We arrived at Bangalore and I sniff a chance of accelerating at arrival in Cochin by switching to the Cochin flight, but I’m 10 minutes too late. Dejected, will retire to the dreariest to business class lounge for Pepsis and waiting.

Arrived [Trivandrum] early (20 minutes) and even set off 10 minutes before we were due to land.

Sharji our driver is a pleasure, but the route seems so hazardous we cannot rest. I invent mosques and cricket matches game. From 3- 3 to 8-3 [in favour of] mosques, to 21-11 [in favour of] cricket matches, when we declared the winner.

Arrive [at Malabar House] late and knackered but switch rooms to a better suite and have dinner in room. I had seerfish in a delightful sauce, Daisy had a chicken dish.