The Children’s Society XI in 2004 – Photos by Charles Bartlett
It is hugely helpful to have a stack of photos from Charles from the 2004 match – I’ll pepper this account with some of those and provide a link to the “album” at the end for those who would like to look at all of them.
…so keen scouting and selection was going to be key for this third match – such a huge task, the event didn’t take place until a couple of years after the second match.
Chas’s selection missive was sent on 12 July 2004:
This looks to be the final lucky 13. – What I must stress is that if you are committed to coming and let people down by not turning up you will deny others the opportunity to play.
Howard Bartley (friend of mine – club cricketer) Ian Harris (Z/yen) Charles Bartlett Nick Bartlett Mat (aussie wicket keeper – club standard known to Ian Harris)- Nigel Hinks Dorian (friend of Jeff Tye – club standard) Harish (runemout) Gohil Kyle Bullock Lyall Orange Doug Turvey Richard Britain Kelly plus brother
There followed some correspondence between me and Chas about possible drop-outs and fall-back positions, details of which should probably remain between me, Chas and the data protection legislation prevailing then and now.
Here’s a taster of it:
ME: You’re the skipper, but I’d have Xander in the squad as well – I have visions of 13 becoming 9 or 10 as the day approaches, but perhaps you feel you have sufficient assurances and a fit enough squad (and the squad members have fit enough wives, children, father-in-laws etc.) to prove me wrong…
CHAS: To have the best possible team (no half measures) would mean leaving out the lesser players (and there are a few!) probably you and me for a start. I do not want to be a non-playing captain and you are a mate who is always in the side, because I pick you, need I go on…who said , Captain and Chief Selector was easy? let alone having a Mrs Duncan Fletcher at home who put Nick back in the team.
We can only assume that Mrs Duncan Fletcher was none other than Dot “Mrs Malloy” Bartlett.
In the end Nick didn’t play – I have a feeling he dropped himself. Nigel also didn’t play; I think he struggled to get to North Crawley that weekend or perhaps injury. Jeff Tye was never listed to play – I think he might have dropped himself by then or possibly was temporarily “offf games”.
Anyway, this was a reasonably good team with some proper talent in it – not least Mat “The Tasmanian Devil” Watson (my mate from the health club) and Chas’s former work mate Howard.
Children’s Society Supporters 2004, North Crawley. Back row l-r: The Boy Malloy, Mrs Malloy, Daisy. Front row l-r: Bananarama Monkey-Face, Hippity The Green Bunny.
Most of the day it was glorious weather for playing and watching.
I think Tufty put on about 240 off 45 overs. During tea we felt this was challenging but gettable with the team we had brought with us that year. The Britten Kelly brothers, for example, could both hold a bat, to supplement the club standard folk we had with us that day and the “bits and pieces” regulars like me.
I think Chas opened that year to take some of the shine off the ball – I think with me – but certainly the meaningful batting line up comprised Mat at four and Howard at five and some decent allrounders scheduled to follow.
One year in the sunshine I recall opening and having Glenn Young in my ear from behind the stumps trying to put me off by chirping about the nice cool beer that was waiting for me in the clubhouse as soon as I got out. It was hard to keep a straight face let alone a straight bat with that going on. That particular chirp-fest might have been a different year of course. Or every year for someone or other.
Waiting to bat – the Britten Kelly brothers with the scorebook, Mat behind them.Chas dismissedHoward waiting to bat
Mat and Howard came together when we were three down for not too many but they then put on a good stand of 50 or so.
I’m calling it a good stand, but in truth the vibe we were all getting was that the pair of them couldn’t stand one another. They had an altercation while we were fielding, as Howard refused to move to a position Chas had chosen for him, which Mat, chirping away as keeper, felt was utterly unacceptable insubordination.
In short, the two of them batted extremely well “against one another” rather than as a pair – each trying to show that they were the more complete cricketer.
Anyway, it was all working swimmingly well until a huge cloud appeared and decided to rain heavily on North Crawley. I think we were something like 80 for 3 off 20 at that juncture, which Messrs Duckworth and Lewis might well have concluded had The Children’s Society marginally in front, but these matches are not so determined so the match was abandoned as a rain-affected draw.
I do think the ending might have been properly close. The following year, Chas’s insightful team selection led to the most exciting match I have ever played in, which just proves that Chas knew a thing or two…or perhaps that he got lucky a few times:
The tea and the post match conviviality in one or other of the village pubs would have been similar to that experienced in the first match – click here or below for those details:
…there are some strange pictures at the end of that stack. Charles Bartlett in the company of several of the Tufty Stackpole people. Undeniably at Lord’s – in the Edrich Stand to be precise. Undeniably at the first test match of that 2004 West Indies tour – a mere few days after the battle described above – merely a week before that season’s Heavy Rollers event at Edgbaston.
Trevor Cooper & Mike ArcherGeoff YoungMike Archer scoffs a nugget with Charles Bartlett alongside
Charles has a little bit of explaining to do about this. Has he been batting for both sides all these years?
By 2004, the Z/Yen v The Children’s Society cricket match had become a well-established fixture in the social calendar.
In the few years preceding this 2004 match, we had settled on Regents Park as the venue of choice, but Regents Park was unavailable that year, so we thought we’d try Holland Park’s non-turf pitch for a convenient change.
Two extraordinary things happened on this day in 2004. The handful of relics remaining of the event leave only tiny clues about those things, but in this Ogblog I shall deploy my forensic skills and reveal those memorable happenings.
The annual Z/Yen versus The Children’s Society cricket match was held in Holland Park around the longest day, 22 June. And it must have seemed like a long evening to the largest ever crowd of friends and spectators, huddling under the trees in the cool drizzle. Perhaps it was the bottles and pin of superb beer sponsored by Youngs brewery (via George, Giles Wright’s brother) that kept the crowd motivated and audible throughout.
Z/Yen batted first and accumulated 91 for 4. More or less everyone got a bat with several players, even Ian Harris, retiring not out. Restricting things to 15 overs per side saved the game from the impending rain, as well as the use of some handy Astroturf. Z/Yen bowled well – John Davies (Helen’s husband) getting man-of-the-match for his efforts – restricting The Children’s Society to 73 for 6, despite some late heroics by Harish Gohil and Richard Britain-Kelly. So for only the second time ever, Z/Yen has regained the Rashes (risk/reward ashes) trophy.
In a desperate attempt to rebuild the devastated relations with this important client, Ian Harris helped The Children’s Society to win (for the first time ever) its annual Tufty Stackpole match a few weeks later. Ian’s help was mostly vicarious of course (p-lease), lending The Children’s Society Z/Yen’s star ringer Mat for the 45 overs-a-side Sunday marathon.
Yes, the original write up records one of the key features of these quintessentially beer-match-style cricket matches. Giles Wright’s brother George being an essential ringer for our Z/Yen team, not least because he was the head of marketing at Youngs Brewery and would insist on donating lashings of beer for the event. No wonder we started to draw sizeable crowds during that era.
I also have the scorebook for this match:
Play Of The Day
The casual reader glancing at the above relics would not settle upon the name James Pitcher and imagine that the play of the day might have anything to do with him. Did not bat. Did not bowl.
James was a reluctant member of the team. That’s not to say that he was an unwilling participant in events, far from it. But James was convinced that everyone else in the team deserved their place in cricketing terms more than he did. So when time was running out and I offered him my place in the batting line up, James deferred. He also stated firmly that he could not and should not bowl.
Importantly, James also implied that he couldn’t really field that well either, but he could run, so we agreed that the outfield would be best for him.
When my friend/nemesis Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett came out to join Eugene Kinghorn at the crease, the match was still well poised, but the Children’s Society knew they needed to get on with it; they were falling behind the required run rate.
Charles drove his first scoring shot (it might even have been his very first ball, you know) extremely well, straight down to long on, quite near to the location where James was peacefully grazing in the long grass.
Eugene, gazelle-like compared with most of us, set off at Charles’s call of two and I’m pretty sure again yelled “yes, one more” on the turn, as he would be running to the danger (non-striker’s) end.
But James didn’t throw to the non-striker’s end. Why would he? How could he? James, the non-cricketer, simply ran as fast as he could, picked up the ball and hurled it (he’s not named Pitcher for nothing) vaguely in the direction of the action.
Had James thrown to the non-striker’s end, Eugene would have been home easily even if James had hit those stumps directly.
Instead, James’s throw somehow managed to hurtle an additional 22 yards past the non-striker’s stumps and directly hit the stumps at the striker’s end, with Charley still running a few yards short of the line. Run out.
It was an incredibly long throw for a direct hit. As James has subsequently agreed, we could set him that throw as a deliberate exercise and he might hit the stumps one time in a couple of hundred attempts.
I am reliably informed that Chas still has nightmares about this dismissal.
Pitcher by name… (this photo from the 2007 match)
Match Of The Day
But even that incredible dismissal was not the most extraordinary thing to occur that evening. In fact, both the score book and contemporaneous match reports are silent on the momentous occurrence.
I mentioned earlier Eugene Kinghorn as Charley’s batting partner during the unfortunate run out incident…the run out described above in some detail…the one that Charley still has nightmares about…
…anyway, Eugene formed another partnership that evening…
…with Fran Birch, one of the Z/Yen players.
By the time we all returned to “the scene of the crime” – three years later we again needed to decamp to Holland Park, those two had got married, Eugene was no longer working for The Children’s Society and he thus ended up playing for Z/Yen.
These are the lengths some Z/Yen folk are prepared to go to in order to strengthen the Z/Yen cricket team.
Joking apart, I really do believe that Eugene and Fran’s initial meeting at one of our silly cricket matches is one of the very most wonderful things to have come out of all of those events.
Linda gives Fran and Eugene the “match of the match” award, Holland Park, 2007
As luck (and a little bit of tactical captaincy on my part) would have it, Eugene and Fran even ended up partnering each other at the crease to knock off the winning runs in the 2007 game. Funny old game, cricket.
Another action-packed seasonal outing and dinner for the Z/Yen team that year. Linda seems to have taken charge of proceedings by 2003, no longer describing herself as “assistant social secretary” to me, as she had in 2002.
The following note to the team also provides evidence that Secret Santa was first implemented at Z/Yen that year:
Dear All
This is just a reminder for you all about the Christmas Party.
Firstly, I hope you have all bought or about to buy your secret Santa present, as you should know you have £5 to spend and the gift should be wrapped in Z/Yen paper with a label which will be in the secret Santa box (when I get that organised – tomorrow).
As only a few people want to go to the “The Lord of the Rings Motion Picture Trilogy” exhibition, please buy a ticket at the gate and claim on your expenses. We would like to be at the Science Museum at 16.30, this will give us approximately 90 minutes to see the other galleries (six in total), closing time is 18:00.
Afterwards, from 18.30 onwards, we will be having drinks at Shanghai Knightsbridge, 138 Brompton Road, London, SW3 1HY, followed by dinner there at around 19.15.
Regards
Linda
I recall that the several of us who wanted to see the Science museum took great pleasure in the exhibits available for us to play with that season.
Several of us were like pigs in s**t at the sight of items like this arithimometer
But all of us, along with Janie and other arty folk who were more enthusiastic about seeing the extraordinary Yann Arthus-Bertrand’s Earth from the Air photographs, went across the way to see those before wandering along to Shanghai Knightsbridge.
Our wonderful friend May had hosted our 1999 event at The Park Inn. In the intervening years, she closed The Park Inn…
…Janie and I actually cried when we found out that the Park Inn had suddenly closed just before Christmas early in the new century…
…then re-emerged like a phoenix from the ashes at Shanghai Knightsbridge. Not so convenient for me and Janie on a regular basis, and more pricey, but still the excellent food and friendly service we had got to know so well.
It would have been churlish not to introduce the Z/Yen team to May’s new place. I think we had a sort-of room at the back of Shanghai Knightbridge if I recall correctly, or perhaps we were downstairs in a similar fashion to the P{ark Inn set up for larger groups.
Here’s my song from 2003:
DOES Z/YEN KNOW IT’S CHRISTMAS?
(Song to the Tune of “Do they Know It’s Christmas”)
VERSES
MICHAEL: It’s Christmastime, there’s no chance of getting paid,
MICHAEL: At Christmastime, we’re off the clock and we cannot trade;
MICHAEL: But in our world of plenty, we can spread a smile of joy;
MICHAEL: Throw your birthday breakfast feast at Christmastime.
JEREMY: (spoken) But say a prayer,
MICHAEL: Pray for the finance one,
MICHAEL: At Christmastime, it’s hard, but when you’re having fun;
MICHAEL: There’s a world that’s west of EC3, and it’s a world of dread not glee,
MICHAEL: Where the only cash that’s flowing goes out to the EBT;
MICHAEL: And the Christmas bell that rings there is the alarm at five-o-two,
MICHAEL: So tonight thank God it’s Ian instead of you.
MICHAEL: And it’s risk/reward in Bishopsgate this Christmastime,
MICHAEL: The three wise men with PropheZy divine;
MICHAEL: (Oooh) where a seasonal remark,
MICHAEL: Is wide of the benchmark;
MICHAEL: Does Z/Yen know it’s Christmastime at all?
MIDDLE EIGHT
MALES: Here’s to you, raise a glass for everyone;
FEMALES: Here’s to Scrooge, working while we’re having fun;
Photographs by Charles Bartlett. Above: Nigel & Jeff With Paul Adams
We shall return later to the above image of Nigel and Jeff smugly mingling with the South African players in the pavilion just before tea on Day One of the 2003 Edgbaston test.
Let us start this write up of the 2003 Heavy Rollers event from the beginning.
Big Match Build Up: October 2002 To May 2003
A lengthy e-mail from Nigel on 10 October 2002 set the ball rolling for this one. The key text:
The Edgbaston Test is scheduled for 24-28 July, 2003 vs. South Africa (where it all began!).Tickets go on sale in early January. Get it into the diary before holidays, personal injury, life changes and other meek excuses hamper another traditional gathering in the interests of the wonderful game.
By that time, Nigel was no longer with The Children’s Society and had not been able to attend the previous year, as documented at length in the 2002 Heavy Roller’s piece. I was not sure that the tradition would continue and was very pleased to receive that e-mail.
Then, on 3 December, came confirmation via a similarly lengthy epistle from Nigel:
Your ticket secretary has reported back with news that tickets have been acquired for England v South Africa, Thursday and Friday 24/25 July 2003 (Row A Block 03 Seats 4-10). These will be held in safe keeping until a personal transfer can be effected but cheques for 2 x £30.00 per person would be appreciated in due course…
…The secretary is happy to bear all additional costs associated with daily calls to the very nice women in the box office, reports of postal applications going missing, resubmissions, original application surfacing, consequent near purchase of too many tickets etc. etc……what stress.
Possibly it was Nigel’s use of the word “hamper” in his first e-mail about this, but the rest of us were motivated by that second e-mail to club together and send Nigel & Viv a hamper of grub for Christmas, not only to thank him for his 2003 efforts but also the 2002 efforts which, from his personal point of view, resulted in no cricket at all.
I commissioned Dall-E to help me illustrate the gift:
Not bad, but the liquid bottles within were French and grape-based, not water
On 31 December, Nigel sent what might well be his most pretentious e-mail ever:
Monsieurs ‘Heavy Rollers’
C’est avec plaisir que je mange le grand cadeau et je bois le vin et le champagne.
Merci de votre generosite mes amis!
Amities,
Nigel (et femme)
Next, in mid-May, a disappointing development, passed on to the rest of us through Nigel:
Dear Heavy Roller
It is with deep regret that I have to inform you that one of the senior membership has been forced to put an exotic holidaying experience with spouse before this great, and possibly final, annual occasion. Just when English cricket begins its renaissance after the disappointments of the winter (and summer). David reassures us that, despite this dubious decision (yes it is he), the bookings remain solid for accommodation and limited overs warm up…
David himself chimed in a few days later, not least with the following statement.
…Not sure if Dan is up to the cooked breakfast but therein lies a challenge!!!…
These messages remind me of two Wadderton traditions that I have not previously discussed: games of garden cricket on the Wadderton lawns and the traditional cooked breakfast at Wadderton before setting off for the ground.
The Night Before The Big Match: 23 July 2003
Wadderton in 2004: more slope than Lord’s, more than a tinge of green on the track
I’m pretty sure that the garden cricket prior to 2003 had been a fairly low key affair – perhaps it started in 2001 with a gentle knockabout. In 2002 it was replaced by “yard cricket in the rain at Trent Bridge”, which was quite different.
My memory of the night before cricket in 2003 is quite strong and I recall quite a good game. David’s replacement (at one time his son Ben was mooted) turned out to be “Dan’s Mate” Robbie, who was good company, a keen scout and a very useful addition to the garden cricket. Here is the cast list for 2003:
Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett;
Nigel “Father Barry” Hinks;
“Big Papa Zambezi” Jeff Tye;
Nick “The Boy Malloy” Bartlett;
Me “Ged Ladd” (accompanied by Hippity The Green Bunny, Henry The Duck and Bananarama Monkey-Face);
Dan“Dan Peel” Steed;
“Dan’s Mate” Robbie.
This group made for some good garden cricket.
Towards the end of the game, we were joined by a woman named Jill Rose, whose company was supplying computers to The Children’s Society and who for some reason wanted to meet with Charles that afternoon/evening. I think it might have been as simple as the fact that she was nearby.
She was a larger than life character, I remember. I also recall her hoving into view from the main house, much later than she had intended to visit, while our game was in full sway. Mercifully, Jill did not tumble down that slope, nor did any of us tumble down the even steeper slope, which is out of view in the above photo. You’ll have to await the 2004 report for that story. Indeed, an abridged match report for the 2003 Wadderton Garden Games can be found in Nigel’s Epistle To The Rollers, at the end of this piece.
Jill watched us playing for a while and then, when we stopped playing for rain and Charles invited her to join us for the Chinese takeaway we had agreed we would get from the Barnt Green Chinese in David’s absence…
…was that place already named Happy Valley back then? Anyway it wasn’t bad…
…Jill insisted on getting the takeaway and refused to accept any money from us.
I vaguely remember Charles Bartlett describing “going to hell and back” form filling back at TCS HQ, at Charles Nall’s behest, to declare fully the circumstances behind this receipt of supplier hospitality. Whether that form-filling trumped the form filling required to get Day Two refunds on Edgbaston tickets, I cannot say, but I did end up doing the latter.
England v South Africa Day One: 24 July 2003
Did Dan provide a cooked breakfast in the style of his inimitable Dad? I have a feeling that he did and it would have been jolly tasty.
But it was Jeff, not Dan, who provided the central picnic for Day One of play. This included a fair amount of booze which Jeff was determined we should all smuggle in to the ground. Booze-smuggling into grounds does not come naturally to me. We had some interesting debates about “who should do what”, which I think resulted in me avoiding booze-mule duties, much to Jeff’s chagrin. My argument was that I would look guilty as hell if trying to hide something, would be likely to crumble when confronted by an authority figure and therefore was, in every way, the Roller least emotionally suited to muling and most likely to get caught.
…which is a far more risky and serious form of smuggling than a bit of booze muling at Edgbaston. (Are you technically people smuggling when you smuggle yourselves across a border)? I digress.
In the end we all got in with our share of the stuff; legitimate and contraband alike.
Below is the view from the front row of the Priory Stand as it was then. This photo is the very first Heavy Roller’s photograph taken on a digital camera by Charles Bartlett. It makes Edgbaston, not least the Eric Hollies Stand beyond, look magnificent, which it truly is.
The Tye picnic
I note from the above photo evidence of the smuggled but (at lunchtime) barely concealed wine (see plastic cup on far right).
Kids playing Kwik Cricket – lunchtime entertainment. In the background the famous old Edgbaston pavilion, demolished and replaced 2010/2011, in all its (lack of) splendourTwenty20 cricket was born a few weeks before this test match. This proto-mascot Warwickshire Bear, in cricket whites, with moll, looks more growly than subsequent mascot bears.
I’m hoping that Nigel can tell the story of how a few of the senior Heavy Rollers blagged their way into the pavilion between lunch and tea that day. Nigel mentions Clive in his epistle and I do recall there was a senior administrator by that name who was associated with our group’s peculiar ability to get the seats it wanted in all circumstances without us having been on a 30 year waiting list or anything like that.
My memory of the pavilion event is very limited, but I do remember a call coming through to the rest of us with the news. I remember declining the invitation. I think there were only one or two more spaces and I was less keen than others. In any case, I had little-‘uns with me and would not have wanted to leave them unattended.
Nigel and Jeff look chuffedPaul “Frog-In-A-Blender” Adams, right, Thami Tsolekile (I think), leftHerschelle Gibbs followed by Graeme Smith returning undefeated for teaJeff Tye applauding in our so-far totally unrewarded England stalwarts at tea
Not much more than five minutes after the players went in for tea, Charles and the others were back in the Priory Stand with the rest of us when this incident happened.
Perennial joker of a supervisor steward, Paul Guppy (subsequently reported on in the Birmingham Mail honoured for his soccer stewarding) accosts me with some invented regulation prohibiting my little ‘uns from sitting in their favourite Priory Stand “seats” Photographic evidence of Paul Guppy arresting Hippity while putting him into a dangerous stranglehold. Meanwhile I seek to rescue Bananarama Monkey-Face and another steward callously looks on
Moments after the above two pictures were taken, Paul Guppy was no longer able to keep a straight face and the ruse was undone. I think it was Jeff Tye who put Paul Guppy up to this, presumably while they were doing the pavilion thing. I guessed that it was pay back time for refusing to mule the booze. But it might have been Nigel and/or Charles who put Paul Guppy up to it. I do think, now that 20 or so years have passed, it should be confession time. Actually the incident was very funny, not least because Paul Guppy was a uniquely unsuited character to the role of officious senior steward concocting a ludicrous rule on the fly.
I am pretty sure that Jeff Tye organised the prediction game in 2003, as I have no record, either electronic or paper, of the game. From 2004 onwards the mantle had passed to me for the rest of all time.
I don’t recall what we did that evening – I don’t think we went out – I suspect that the Wadderton breakfast and Jeff’s picnic catering, into which we all naturally chipped in to cover the costs, had included enough food to tide us over between Days One & Two.
The Day Two That Didn’t Exactly Happen, 25 July 2003
…at least we had enjoyed some fine garden cricket and a glorious day at Edgbaston in 2003. In any case, if you were going to hang around waiting for nothing to happen, you’d sooner hang around at Wadderton than at Harborne Hall- especially the 2012 quasi-commercial manifestation of Harborne Hall with its novel “price per slice of breakfast toast” mentality.
Charles took some photos of us on that rainy day at Wadderton, around 10:15 that morning. It looks dark. It was dark.
Nigel looking resigned: “no chance”Jeff emphatic: “you might as well go to New Street now, Ian”The eternal optimist: “let’s wait and see”Dan, sanguine: “heck, I’m at home anyway”.
As the rain persevered throughout the morning, one by one the Heavy Rollers succumbed to the inevitable and decided to leave. I think Jeff might have bailed out first. Then Nigel. Then Charles & Nick.
I maintained a level of optimism based on a detailed reading of the rainfall radar which told me that, as long as the wind speed and direction didn’t change, that better weather would start sweeping in to the West Midlands around 15:00.
Each departing Heavy Roller assured me that I was waiting in vain, while depositing their tickets with me, the designated mourner, which meant that I would be responsible for getting the refunds if play was indeed abandoned.
Anyway, I enjoyed sitting around chatting with Dan, who possibly shared my optimism, but in any case was off work for the day and at home. When the sun came out, we were both buoyed and feeling a sense of “told you so”…we even started planning our journey to the ground…until the announcement came on the Tv broadcast just a few minutes later that play had been abandoned for the day. There was not enough time to mop up after the relentless rain and get started before the cut off time.
Dan very kindly drove me in to Birmingham New Street, in glorious sunshine, to catch a convenient train back to London.
I remember sitting with a nice cricket-lover on that journey home whose one day of test match cricket a year had just been washed out. I realised how lucky I was. Not only had I already seen a day of this test match but I was by then already a life member of Middlesex and seeing/due to see plenty of cricket that season.
I wrote the following missive to “the lads” at soon after 7:00 that evening:
OK, OK, You called it right
Folks
Daniel and I had the surreal experience of watching the televised inspection c3.15 with glorious sunshine at Wadderton (we were planning to set off for the ground), only to learn that play was abandoned for the day!
We were so disgusted that we tore up our tickets and yours – so sorry guys – no refund. Oh all right, I have your tickets and will sort out the refunds and will reimburse you if/when the dosh turns up.
Still enjoyed the cricket we did see and the splendid company for two days. Here’s to the next time.
Ian
Nigel responded later that evening, with sufficient detail to allow the observant reader to realise that I don’t really remember all of the above stuff – but I do save e-mails and possibly even re-read bits of them:
These weather forecaster were just wishful thinkers.
Us hardened ex-players and watchers knew from experience of endless pavilion waiting that it was going to be a long shot.
However, respect to you both for sticking with it. As I was driving S-Westerly (in relentless driving rain) I heard that the South Africans had left the ground, doubtless following Steve Rouse’s words of wisdom that it was going to take at least 2 hours once the rain stopped for any play to begin. Pat Murphy said he was “not optimistic” (Interesting that the Brumbrella is no longer due to it damaging the outfield and regularly breaking down!).
Perhaps the refunds can go towards the 2004 event? How can we ever relinquish this little bit of magic?
Thanks to Jeff for the food…brilliant and glad we have a photo (c/o Charles) for David to witness. Thanks to Dan for extending the Wadderton/Steed hospitality.
The ‘yard cricket’ was an even affair with contributions from all (Robbie and Dan can play, Ian was turning it flatulently, but who can forget Nick’s runout and Charles’ 2×4’s to win the second match?? Only eclipsed by Jeff’s dismissal as the rain started).
Thanks due also to Clive (the tip at the 20-20 was worth its weight).
I have already started to bore people with tales of being, “that close” to frog-in-a-blender”. I v. nearly got into the changing rooms.
Hard to believe it is over for 12 months after waiting for it for so long.
Hope paths might cross between now and summer 2004 but there are a few memories to conjure it up during the dark winter nights?
(Ian’s muling antics will never be mentioned again, like yeah…) As T.S Eliot (might have) said “you never know the true lengths of your achievements in life until you try to take in drink to Edgbaston”.
Until the next time, your obedient, and ‘still lively off a short run in small doses’, Admissions Secretary, signing off for 2003.
Nigel xxxxx
Indeed, “that close to “frog-in-a-blender”
Finally, although I have used most of them, here is a link to all of Charles Bartlett’s pictures from that event:
But I did once spend an evening in a television studio, along with Janie, watching a pilot for a show that eventually became QI (Quite Interesting). I remembered the evening in question while having lunch with John Lloyd (the producer of QI amongst other hit TV programmes), Brendan May and Michael Mainelli in December 2017.
My diary was not very helpful for this memory…
…but I’m pretty sure that the “@6:30” appointment that Sunday evening was the television studio on the South Bank for that pilot show.
As I recall it, Brendan May had suggested that Janie and I join him to form a supporting posse for the first pilot TV show as part of John’s “Quite Interesting” initiative, about which we had talked at some length with John over the preceding months.
The conceit of this pilot version of QI was a panel show in which members of the audience asked questions of the panel. The panellists would then try to answer the audience questions with interesting answers. A cross between a quiz show and Question Time.
Brendan was there, with his (then) girlfriend Caroline Woofenden, plus Caroline’s sister, Susie. Once Janie and I joined, we were a posse of five.
I’m sure John had rustled up some other friendly posses and in any case had plenty else to do that evening, but I recall him taking the time to greet us warmly and to ask if Janie and/or I wanted to ask a question of the panel. We both said no, but John made absolutely sure that we really didn’t want to participate before letting the matter go.
Brendan, on the other hand, had turned up with a tricky question for the panel, which I recall was a slightly obscure (or should I say quite interesting?) question about Mozart. Brendan might recall the exact details of his question.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, a quite interesting man, public domain image, source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Wolfgang-amadeus-mozart_1.jpg
This pilot show was hosted by Peter Snow, best known (at least to us) as the face of the election results on election nights.
I recall that the show was to be titled Beat The Database rather than QI. The conceit of the show in that pilot form was the idea that the panellists were aiming to provide better answers than a database of facts. “Better answers”, in this context, meant being more interesting while avoiding common fallacies.
I remember all of our posse agreeing, after the pilot, that we thought the show should do well.
I recall watching the QI TV show when it was first broadcast, a few months later. I was rather disappointed with the changes to the format, in particular the absence of audience questions and the switch from precise, game show scoring to “I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue”-style comedy scoring. Only the inclusion of Stephen Fry as host seemed, in my inexpert opinion, like a good swap. Brendan agreed with me.
I remember Janie saying that there was no qualitative difference between the two formats to her eyes, while admitting that this is not really her sort of show anyway and that she hadn’t really enjoyed either format.
Caroline felt that that the QI format was much better than the Beat the Database pilot we had seen. I also remember Caroline gently berating me and Brendan for criticising the changes, reminding us that we are hardly typical TV audience. “If John Lloyd designed his programmes on your advice, he’d be producing programmes for an audience of two, neither of whom ever get round to watching TV anyway,” said Caroline, with words to that effect. She had a very good point.
But as this piece is about QI, I should record a couple of quite interesting things emerging from my process of writing this Ogblog piece.
The pilot we witnessed in January 2003 seems to have got lost in the recorded history of QI, certainly if Wikipedia at the time of writing is anything to go by. Click here for a December 2017 scrape of the Wikipedia entry for QI. The existence of this Ogblog piece might itself lead to a Wikipedia correction of course – it wouldn’t be the first time – Ogblog has a social history function too, you know. QI elves should be crawling all over Ogblog like a rash by now, if they aren’t already.
A more serious reflection, though, emerging from our lunchtime conversation with John in December 2017, is that the idea of QI originally was much, much bigger than a single TV show. The QI initiative set out to transform learning in society comprehensively. The idea was to take advantage of our additionally connected world of knowledge, exploding the “boring, encyclopaedic” approach to facts and teaching, not least rote learning, as passé (no longer particularly useful) and insufficiently engaging for most human beings. Curiosity-based learning, arguably, is both much more fun and much more useful too.
Over lunch in December 2017, John bemoaned the fact that, nearly 15 years on, QI has not really progressed much beyond being a hugely successful TV programme. I recalled discussing the idea with John all those years ago; the TV show was intended to be the mere vanguard of this emerging curiosity-based learning movement. That thought also brought to mind the evening I spent at Brian Eno’s place a couple of weeks previously with the Economy team and ideas on how economics could be taught to youngsters using a vastly different approach from conventional neo-classical equations and simplistic “truths”.
Time for me to mix in a bit; the results might be quite interesting.
A Quite Interesting Postscript
On seeing the pilot for this Ogblog piece, John Lloyd kindly chimed in to correct my general ignorance about QI, Beat the Database and no doubt more besides:
Jane Root, then Controller of BBC2, commissioned THREE pilots from the QI project, to be co-produced with Talkback.
The first one we made (in 2002) was QI, which had a very similar feel to the present format, but without the closing ‘General Ignorance’ round with its forfeits.
We did have forfeits in the pilot, but they were dotted through the show randomly. And we did have a General Ignorance round, but it was the first of four rounds and involved things people didn’t know about generals.
It was Jane’s idea to conflate the two ideas and close the show with a ‘General Ignorance’ round, where most of the forfeits have ever since been clustered.
This was partly a brilliant insight – because she immediately grasped what the show’s signature idea would be – and partly a disaster – because if a question is flagged as ‘General Ignorance’, the panel realise at once that, if they ‘know’ the answer, they will be penalised. This has dogged us almost since the start.
The other two pilot programmes were called Beat The Database with Peter Snow, and Smartass, which would have been hosted by Jo Brand.
At the pilot of Beat The Database in 2003 (that you attended with Janie) Brendan was not a member of the audience, but actually on the panel as a ‘member of the public’ – the other two panellists being an ‘expert’ (the US philosophy Professor Steve Erickson (who was a friend of mine and Brendan’s) and a ‘celebrity’ in the form of Gyles Brandreth.
Unlike the preceding pilot of QI (which was indeed hosted by Stephen Fry, albeit as a last-minute stand-in for Michael Palin) and which we all thought was genuinely fresh, Beat The Database was not accounted a success by the production team.
Partly because Peter Snow didn’t get the idea until two-thirds of the way through (he thought the panel were lying), and partly because the QI Database that the panel had to ‘beat’ wasn’t then big enough to best them.
Still, at the time, we thought it was good enough (after what we had learned) to go to a series. However, after a three-month silence, I rang my BBC commissioner to ask if he’d watched the show.
“No”, he said, “Why would I? We’ve already commissioned one series about interesting information, why would we want another?”
That says it all, really.
And Smartass with Jo Brand (though it had been paid for) was never made.
This is how Linda Cook announced the event to the Z/Yen team in November:
Dear All
The Xmas Party has now been arranged, and we are, in the Z/Yen style, going for the more than just a Christmas Meal/Drinking approach.
1 – Hardened revellers can go to the Royal Festival Hall bar from 17:00 onwards, to enjoy a drink and some entertainment in the bar – Benn Clatworthy Quartet described as “tenor sax player in fast-moving hard-bop”.
2 – We shall stagger across the way (National Film Theatre) to see Bertie Wooster and Other Comical Characters “rare surviving footage from the famous 60’s World of Wooster series” at approx 18:20.
3 – Dinner will be at the People’s Palace in the Royal Festival Hall at 20:00.
I need to know which of the evening’s events your partner’s will be attending, I will assume that you are attending all events – if this is not the case please let me know.
Please email me your reply by close of play on Wednesday 20 November.
Regards
Linda Cook
Assistant Social Secretary for this evening, for and on behalf of the Social Secretary for this evening, Ian Harris
If you are desperate to know what the Benn Clatworthy Quartet looks and sounds like – feast your eyes and ears on the following video.
For the seasonal effect, you might prefer the following vid from Los Angeles – admittedly his sextet this time, but surely that is Father Christmas on trumpet? Actually, I think I prefer the sextet’s jazz.
The idea of visiting the British Film Institute (BFI) was linked to the fact that we were doing a fairly sizeable piece of work with that institution at that time. These days, of course, you can get a glimpse of rare old footage without traipsing to the BFI building itself. Here is an episode from that 1960s “World Of Wooster” series with Ian Carmichael:
The meal at The People’s Palace in the Royal Festival Hall building was excellent, although it lacked the “private room” quality that we prefer. We were sort-of screened off but basically in the main restaurant.
For that reason, if no other, we skipped the song that year. I don’t think that Secret Santa or quizzing had been invented yet…at least not for Z/Yen seasonal dos, but still everyone seemed to have a great time.
Steeped in controversy, the 2002 visit to Trent Bridge. For reasons unbeknown to me, the idea of visiting Edgbaston in May for the early season test match there was rejected by the elders of The Heavy Rollers, in favour of this excursion.
The following e-mail from Nigel, dated 7 November 2001, sort-of explains.
Dear Jeff, Ian, David, Charles and Nick,
We agreed, I think, unanimously that we won’t resume our traditional places at Edgbaston this coming year given that it is taking place in May. However some mutterings abound for us to up sticks and try Trent Bridge. This would be for 8th and 9th August, in Nottingham, against India (2nd Test) and it would mean adding in some accommodation costs if we do the 2 days.
So, before I do anything, could you let me know if you are interested.
In the end, neither Jeff – who pulled out of this idea quite early, I think – nor Nigel – who ended up withdrawing at the last minute due to Viv’s sudden and unfortunate indisposition – attended that year.
Indeed, on subsequent occasions, there were even suggestions (mostly emanating from Jeff, I suspect) that 2002 should be scrubbed from the record of Heavy Rollers events, by dint of it not being at Edgbaston and neither featuring Jeff nor Nigel.
Unfortunately, there is nothing in the sacred texts of The Heavy Rollers to provide a categorical answer to this question. Something akin to Exodus 20, with its tablets of stone and explicit commandments, might provide unequivocal guidance. But Nigel’s revelation that led to the Heavy Rollers is less tangible than that:
My judgment on this point is clear. Nigel had organised the 2002 event and would have been there but for mishap. Ipso facto it was a Heavy Rollers occasion. Anyway, history is written and shaped by the victors; I am writing the history of The Heavy Rollers and I have deemed this most certainly to have been a Heavy Rollers event.
Importantly, 2002 was the first visit for several people who had, or have, a regular spot in The Heavy Rollers story – in particular Dan Steed and Harish Gohil.
Dan – at home with The Heavy Rollers in 2003Harish in 2004 – by then a regular Roller
There was also an early example of a “one hit wonder” guest appearance that year. Here is the cast list from 2002:
Harish “Harsha Goble” Gohil (a 2002 initiate);
Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett;
Nick “The Boy Malloy” Bartlett;
“Nick’s Mate” Matt (a one-hit wonder, Heavy Rollers-wise);
Me “Ged Ladd”
David “David Peel” Steed (second day only);
Dan “Dan Peel” Steed (a 2002 initiate – second day only).
We stayed in a hotel described in my records as Nottingham Premier Lodge. No Premier Inns go by that name now and there are several in Nottingham – it might have gone or it might have been this one…or at least one that looked like this – click here. It was functional, most certainly adequate, inexpensive, and also, it has to be said, rather soulless, as such places tend to be.
I seem to recall those of us who were staying at the hotel ahead of Day One (all but The Steeds) purchasing a picnic of sandwiches, drinks and snacks on the morning of the match on the way to the ground. Not yet the post-Steed fierce debates, about Doritos and the like, that latterly echoed through the hollow chamber of Harborne Waitrose on the morning of the match. Nor the beautifully crafted and curated picnics provided by Mrs Malloy to ease the pressure on the pre match Day One proceedings. For Day Two, I am pretty sure The Steeds brought with them a fine picnic for us all; that tended to be the Steed way.
In Jeff Tye’s absence, I picked up the mantle of running the prediction game…a mantle that Jeff, within a year or two, ended up leaving on my lap for posterity.
Below is the very first prediction game template that I produced.
The unfortunately absent Nigel had secured us excellent seats. For Day One we were at the front of the Fox Road Stand, for Day Two at the front of the Radcliffe Road End.
The match was badly rain-affected, such that we only got the equivalent of one day’s play across the two days; roughly two sessions on Day One and one session on Day Two.
I especially remember Dan Steed sensing that the authorities made sure, on Day Two, that we got precisely enough play to deny ticket refunds but no more than that. I suspect that the matter was coincidental rather than by design, but who knows?
On Day Two especially there were lengthy breaks in play – it was very disjointed. I recall someone (either Dan or Matt) buying one of those souvenir mini bat and ball kits, with which we (mostly me, Nick, Matt & Dan) engineered some quite enjoyable “yard cricket” around the back at the Radcliffe Road end.
We probably looked quite comical – I have asked Dall-E to help me to reimagine the scene:
Studying the scorecard, I realise that those of us who were there on Day One witnessed Steve Harmison‘s debut and those of us who were there on Day Two witnessed Harmison’s first two test wickets. Priceless treasures for our memories of live cricket-watching, those.
Observant readers/link-clickers of the above link will have spotted flag wavers in the crowd quite consistently waving the Flag of India, which, in their hands and the hands of most wavers, looks like this.
Flag of India, regular look
Unfortunately, Harish went his own way with the waving of his India flag at the front of the Fox Road Stand, waving the flag thusly:
Flag of India, Harish style
Some India supporters spotted Harish and his flag and approached him. They gently explained to him that he was wielding the flag upside down. They also kindly explained to Harish and to all of us the significance of the colour scheme; the green symbolising the land of India, the orange symbolising the glow of the sun above that land.
I have never forgotten their explanation and would henceforward be very sure which is the right or wrong way up…and why.
In a similar “never to be forgotten” vein, we Heavy Rollers have never let Harish forget the Indian flag incident, just to make absolutely sure that Harish never makes that same mistake again. We think of it as an act of kindness and educational policy to remind him about the matter at least once every four years when England play India…and sometimes on other occasions too.
Naturally, Harish’s trademark smile doesn’t leave his face when we are having such conversations.
I remember Harish cheering when England took a wicket, which to me seemed anomalous with the waving of an India flag. I asked him who he supports when England played India. His reply, typically Harish, I paraphrase:
I love it when England play India, because whoever wins, my team has won.
I was reminded of this wonderful attitude recently, when chatting with one of my real tennis friends from Leamington, who said, again I paraphrase:
I always win when I play real tennis. I am on court playing a game I love. That’s a win. I am spending time with friends I want to spend time with. That’s also a win. I also try to win the match I am playing, but even if I don’t win that, I already have won two out of three.
I think this attitude translates also to Heavy Rollersism. Of course we want to see our team do well and go on to win. But even on the occasions when it doesn’t go so well for England…or on the rare occasions when we see little or no play, it is still two wins out of three because we are watching the game we love with people with whom we want to spend our time. That Nigel was on to something when the Heavy Rollers idea was revealed to him from behind the curtains in 1995.
…the second match has almost totally evaded my memory. It existed. I have e-mail and diary evidence for it.
Here’s Charles “Charley the Gent Malloy” Bartlett’s shout out from 9 July 2002:
CRICKET MATCH – SUNDAY 4 AUGUST
I am delighted to say that we have arranged a cricket fixture a against a village cricket side called Tuffty Stackpole at their home ground in a village called North Crawley – it’s a 15 minute drive from the Milton Keynes turnoff on the M1 Motorway.
Some of you may remember we played them last Summer, it was a great day, great cricket, great food, great pubs and in beautiful surroundings – there is a small cover charge towards the food and refreshments.
I originally met members of Tufty Stackpole on TCS Treks in China and Peru, they are keen supporters of TCS, and monies from the cricket match will go towards sponsorship for other TCS Treks (sadly theirs not mine!).
The match will start around mid-day and be a 40 over match (that’s 40 overs each!) – we will probably need a number of 12th men, for cover and substitutes, along with scorers as there is a full size scoreboard.
There will be a number of cars travelling, so transport should not be a problem, I expect everyone to be fixed up with a lift – there and back.
Please advise me on your availability ASAP.
This time around, Janie and I took the precaution of booking out the whole of the Monday following the match. We had a busy weekend ahead of the match, with a night at the Proms on the Saturday preceding.
Reflecting on my absence of memory for this fixture, I even wondered whether the match had been cancelled at the last minute due to an inability to get a team together or inclement weather.
But no.
Janie remembers attending one in which Tufty Stackpole soundly thrashed The Children’s Society – to such an extent that everyone agreed that it would not make sense to repeat the exercise unless or until the Children’s Society could muster a better eleven to give Tufty Stackpole a decent game.
That must have been this second match. The thrashing factor, together with the need to pull together a better squad, might at least in part explain why the fixture didn’t happen again until 2004.
We had no Biff this time around, no Martin Hinks and no Nigel “Father Barry”. “Big Papa Zambezi” Jeff Tye was there, as was Harish “Harsha Goble” Gohil. Janie thinks she remembers having a long and pleasant chat with Liz Tye on that surprisingly inclement August watching occasion, although that nice chat might have been another year of course.
The only other clues in my e-mail archive include a note from me to Chas on 31 July 2002 suggesting initials for some of us in a desperate attempt to make us sound more like real cricketers:
Perhaps
CPU Bartlett JFDI Tye ICT Harris HTTP Gohil
Also an e-mail exchange between me and Chas after the event, on 16 August 2002, which shows we clearly had “strengthening the team for Tufty on our minds.
ME: Z/Yen is probably close to signing a lapsed but formerly decent club standard player, who would also be suitable and willing for the Tufty fixture.
CHAS: I think I am concerned at this remark by you – because I do not believe it. It is clearly designed to strengthen your team for the annual fixture at Regents Park against TCS!!. Will you stop at nothing to win that trophy?
ME: Nothing.
That hiring, I should say parenthetically, was Mark “Uncail Marcas” Yeandle, who did turn out for Z/Yen a good few times, but never did turn out for TCS against Tufty Stackpole. Probably, in Chas’s memory, Mark is best known for what he does best at cricket…watching. He has joined us several times, e.g. the never-to-be-forgotten 5th day of the 5th Test at the Oval in 2005 and the occasion at Lord’s in 2010 which Chas refers to as “The Day Of The Monster Strawberries” which came courtesy of Mark:
Returning to August 2002, the other thing that will have weakened my memory for this Tufty match is that it was just a few days before we headed off for our Heavy Rollers adventure at Trent Bridge that year:
In short, I need help from other people who were at this second ever Tufty Stackpole v The Children’s Society match if we are to pull together anything more authoritative about the match than this.
Perhaps some of the Tufty folk have better memories of it and might be encouraged to chime in with their thoughts. If there is a scorebook somewhere in the North Crawley archives, with the details of the Tufty Stackpole v The Children’s Society matches, scans of those pages would add greatly to the record here.
We have no pictures from 2002 either. So, as it is, I have had to collaborate sparsely with Dall-E to generate some sort of pictorial record of the two sides.
Tufty Stackpole cricketers in 2002The Children’s Society cricketers in 2002
Janie and I took a wonderful (but at times gruelling) trip to Nepal, Tibet & Kerala in April 2002.
This placeholder and links piece provides links to the full itinerary and photographs from that trip. I kept a good journal and have now uploaded blog pieces for individual days. If you want to start on those from the very beginning, start here or below:
There are three photograph albums (i.e. the photos that made it with labels and comprise a pictorial travelogue in their own right) covering the whole trip, the first being Nepal and Lhasa, the second being the remainder of the Tibet trip and the brief return to Nepal, the third being Kerala:
In addition to those labelled albums, there are the raw negative uploads available to view if you just cannot get enough of such pictures. There is an “album” of those that went through Daisy’s canera and an “album” of those that went through Ged’s. We have been known to take pictures with each other’s camera.
First Daisy:
Then Ged’s:
Some of the raw ones might be sideways and in the wrong sequence unless or until I do some more work ordering them, but they should at least be complete sets by the time you get to them, dear reader.
There is a placeholder with links to the itinerary and all the photos from this trip – click here or below:
Rise early – 5:30, early breakfast 6 o’clock, depart 6:45.
Say goodbye to Lerhic and Sharji, to embark on one of the most bureaucratic check-ins we’ve ever had – business class or no!
Final straw – after being told to go through security before going to the Business Lounge, we were told that we should not have gone through security before the Business Lounge and were stuck.
First world probelm this, i do not need to be told, thank you.
Mr Anonymous-Officious really got my goat by pretending he would help and then obfuscating obstructing.
The annual Z/Yen versus The Children’s Society cricket match was held in Holland Park around the longest day, 22 June. And it must have seemed like a long evening to the largest ever crowd of friends and spectators, huddling under the trees in the cool drizzle. Perhaps it was the bottles and pin of superb beer sponsored by Youngs brewery (via George, Giles Wright’s brother) that kept the crowd motivated and audible throughout.
Z/Yen batted first and accumulated 91 for 4. More or less everyone got a bat with several players, even Ian Harris, retiring not out. Restricting things to 15 overs per side saved the game from the impending rain, as well as the use of some handy Astroturf. Z/Yen bowled well – John Davies (Helen’s husband) getting man-of-the-match for his efforts – restricting The Children’s Society to 73 for 6, despite some late heroics by Harish Gohil and Richard Britain-Kelly. So for only the second time ever, Z/Yen has regained the Rashes (risk/reward ashes) trophy.
