Tag: Alleyn’s

Remembrance Of Freezing On A Gravesend Rifle Range With Alleyn’s School CCF & Other Treasures, First Half Of February 1976

Image generated with Nano Banana 2 via Google Flow

Writing about this during the heatwave summer of 2026, more than 50 years after the event, it seems odd to be shivering at the thought of how cold and bleak I felt on that day, Friday 13 February 1976.

Alleyn’s School CCF took a whole load of us cadets, presumably all aged 13 to 15, to a rifle range in Gravesend (I’m guessing it was the Milton Ranges), where we were taught how to fire Lee Enfield 303 rifles…

…yes that’s right, World War One…CORRECTION…World War Two…jobbies…

…on a freezing cold day on exposed estuary marshes.

All I wrote in my diary about it was:

Cold Gravesend…

…but the experience is etched in my memory.

Not only were we all shivering half to death, but those early 20th century Lee Enfield 303 rifles had a kick like a mule, even when firing blanks. I am reliably informed that we were firing live rounds on those Gravesend ranges. I remember that my shoulder was black and blue for days after the experience – partly the result of poor technique I’m sure but also because those weapons were not intended for puny 13 year old shoulders.

“READY…AIM…FIRE!”. Image generated with Nano Banana 2 via Google Flow

My next encounter with such weaponry was 30 years later in much warmer circumstances – in the South Omo Valley of Ethiopia, where tribes-folk carry Lee Enfield 303 rifles as adornments…

…although Janie doesn’t look too sure about being in such close proximity to lethal weaponry. You can read a bit about that adventure here.

As for my popular music earworm that cold February back in ’76…

Also, for the completists, and the lovers of 1970s TV and film memories, are all my diary notes for that fortnight:

Sunday 1 February 1976 – classes good. Meeting great. TV MASH, film [They Call Me Mister Tibbs!].

Monday 2 February 1976 – all ok. TV Ask The Family, Hello Cheeky, Waltons.

Tuesday 3 February 1976 – cross country. TV Ellery Queen (tick), Pro-celebrity golf, Fawlty Towers.

Wednesday, 4 February 1976, CCF ok. TV Dave Alan, Mike Re-e -e-e-d [The Mike Reid Show]

Thursday 5 February 1976 – drama, good. TV World At War, When The Boat Comes In.

Friday, 6 February 1976 – Candid Camera, It Ain’t Half Hot Mum, Yes Honestly.

Saturday 7 February 1976 – All ok. Went to library. Andy all night [Andy Levinson sleepover].

Sunday 8 February 1976 classes great. TV MASH, war film funny [The Extraordinary Seaman], That’s Life.

Monday 9 February 1976 – all ok. TV The Waltons don’t mention the war.

Tuesday 10 February 1976 – entrance exams great. TV Ellery Queen (cross), Pro-celebrity golf, Fawlty Towers.

Wednesday, 11 February 1976,- CCF okay. TV And Mother Makes Five, Morecombe & Wise, Olympic Games – J Curry gold.

Thursday, 12 February 1976 – drama, great. TV World At War, When The Boat Comes In.

Friday, 13 February 1976 – Cold Gravesend. TV Yes Honestly, The Liver Birds, Steptoe & Son.

Saturday, 14 February 1976 – All OK. TV Celebrity Squares.

Sunday, 15 February 1976 – all okay. TV World About Us, MASH, That’s Life.

“Train Trouble” On The Way To Alleyn’s School & Too Much TV After School: End Of January 1976

Image generated with Nano Banana 2 via Google Flow

Those of us who travelled to Alleyn’s School from Streatham Hill felt that we had our own private train to take us to school in the morning. We sort-of did…except that it wasn’t private.

Streatham Hill was primarily on a line that ran between Victoria and Norwood Junction.

North Dulwich – the train station for Alleyn’s School – was on a line between London Bridge and several places, including many stops with the word Croydon in the name, avoiding Streatham Hill.

To get from North Dulwich to Streatham Hill, you needed to change at West Norwood. And vice-versa…

…except that, once a day, in the mornings, there was a special train that started at Streatham Hill that went to London Bridge via Tulse Hill and then North Dulwich.

Harry Potter hadn’t been invented back then, so it didn’t go from platform two-and-three-quarters, but it was, rather magically, emblazoned with the number “01”. Just like a London telephone number in those days.

The train had those claustrophobic little integral compartments that had no corridor connection with other parts of the train. Only access via the door/window on either side of the compartment – one side to the platform, the other to the track. Health and safety hadn’t yet been invented.

Image generated -with much instructional difficulty – using Nano Banana 2 via Google Flow

There are rumours…witness statements even…that some Alleyn’s boys, on some of these suburban railways trains, took advantage of the temporary privacy to make some mischief of their own. I cannot speak for such boys in such carriages, I can only speak of my cohort, who tended to be more sinned against than sinning.

“Mark you that jest. This mock hath turn’d my balls to gun-stones“. Bard Harris by Nano Banana 2 via Google Flow

My cohort usually included Andy Levinson and (I think by that time) Justin Sutton & Rupert Jeffries. I have written about this before:

Me Mugged, Mum Knifed…All In A 10 Day Stretch Around Alleyn’s School & Camberwell in Late February 1975

In my diary I report, on Thursday 29 January:

train trouble…

…and on the next day…

…more train trouble.

I think it was this multiple instance of roughs causing us “trouble” on the train, that led to an informal intervention.

No British Transport Police, no formal reporting of the incidents, no public demand for British Rail to do something. The parents suggested, sensibly, that we have a word with the driver before embarking the next day.

Enter Aiden. A young, long-haired (well it was the 1970s), Irish train driver, who, it seemed, was on shift for the 01 for quite some time. he invited us to ride in the drivers carriage for a few days, after which he recommended that we travel in the nearest compartment to the drivers carriage.

We became friends with Aiden for many months – by which I mean we’d always have at the very least a cheery “hi and bye” with him and sometimes a proper chat – especially if the 01 pulled into the station a couple of minutes before the scheduled time for its departure. It was a disappointment if Aiden was not on our shift, but most of the time the 01’s driver was our good friend, Aiden.

Thems were simpler times.

For the benefit of completists and those who like to see what I was watching on the TV at that time, here is a complete extract of that period’s diary entries:

Tuesday, 20 January 1976 – all ok, rugby good. TV Bugs [Bunny], Ellery Queen, Pro-celebrity golf, Fawlty Towers.

Wednesday, 21 January 1976 – CCF ok. TV – And Mother Makes Five, Kenneth Williams.

Thursday 22 January 1976 – drama, great. TV – World At War, When The Boat Comes In.

Friday 23 January 1976 – All OK. TV – Candid Camera, Hawaii Five-O, The Good Life.

Saturday 24 January 1976 – exeat. Library. TV Upstairs Downstairs.

Sunday, 25 January 1976 – classes and Shalom great. TV Italian job (unfinished).

Monday, 26 January 1976 All OK. TV – Ask The Family, Hello Cheeky.

Tuesday, 27 January 1976 – rugby great. TV Ellerry Queen, Pro-celebrity golf, Fawlty Towers.

Wednesday, 28 January 1976 – CCF cold. TV This Is Your Life, Andy [Levinson] snooker etc.

Thursday 29 January 1976 – train trouble. TV World At War, When The Boat Comes In, The Good Old Days.

Friday, 30 January 1976 – more train trouble. TV Candid Camera, Walt Disney, It Ain’t Half Hot Mum, Yes Honestly.

Saturday, 31 January 1976 – All OK – TV New Faces, Sale [Of the Century], Film [Danger Has Two Faces], Upstairs Downstairs.

Nogagate: Whatever Happened To…And Then Didn’t Happen To…Laurence Noga Of 3BJ? Mid January 1976

Laurence Noga – Goalie Extraordinaire.

The events of January 1976 happened so soon after the Watergate Scandal had unfolded, I don’t suppose it had yet become standard journalistic practice to attach the suffix “-gate” to any scandal. I don’t care – I’m calling this one “Nogagate”.

My diary note of Thursday 15 January 1976 starts with the phrase:

Noga leaving form.

Then, on Monday 19 January 1976, I open my diary note with:

Wrong about Noga. All OK.

How very contra reverse ferret of me. Professional journalism would not have been for me.

So what happened…I mean, something must have happened and then unwound. Was Noga believed to have been promoted or relegated, but actually staying in our division all along? Was Noga initially perceived to have scored an own goal but actually adjudicated to have made a great “on the line” save? Was Noga initially adjudged to have committed a sending-off offence foul but then reprieved by VAR (Various Alleyn’s Representations)? Was I the victim of a “false rumour/class prank”?

I didn’t mention people lightly in my diary, so in my mind, for a few days, this must have been THE big deal. Yet, I’m sorry folks, I now remember absolutely nothing about this.

Someone out there must remember roughly what went on. Mike Jones, for example, was the form master. David Wellbrook and/or Nick Wahla – you two were never far away from the mischief side of 3BJ life. Laurence Noga himself might vaguely recall this matter, of course. If indeed it ever was a real matter.

Here are the diary notes:

For those who like to refresh their memories with earworms from that time, here are three tracks (other than Bohemian Rhapsody, which was surely spent in our consciousness by then even if it was still Number One) from the top 10:

…and for the completists (probably just me and the 1970s TV savages) – here are the full extracts from those diary pages.

Intriguingly, it seems I spent that intervening weekend of Nogagate going through my ‘O’ Level choices with my parents. I have a feeling that the word “perspex” is a malapropism (perhaps deliberate) for “perplexed”. Did they really expect me to persevere with biology, geography and/or Latin? I could get all that at home.

Tuesday, 13 January 1976. Back at school. TV Are You Being Served? Ellery Queen, Pro-celebrity Golf, 48 hours.

Wednesday, 14 January 1976- All OK. TV film -Stewart Granger [Swordsmen Of Siena].

Thursday, 15 January 1976 Noga leaving form. TV World At War, When The Boat Comes In.

Friday, 16 January 1976 – Mum and Dad O-level choices, OK. Uncle Cyril [Barnett] marsala [which means that I went with Cyril and Marion Barnett in the back of their van to their Chalk Farm shmutter premises and they treated me to Marsala ice cream at Marine Ices afterwards].

Saturday, 17 January 1976 – Perspex parents. TV film, New Faces, Sale Of the Century, S.W.A.T. Squad, Upstairs Downstairs.

Sunday, 18 January 1976, classes is good. Paper could be published.! Auntie Doris [Marcus]. TV ?

Monday, 19 January 1976, Wrong re Noga. All OK. TV Ask The Family, Hello Cheeky, Walton’s.

Please folks, let’s solve the mystery of Nogagate collaboratively.

Is This The Real Life? Is This Just Fantasy? – The End Of Christmas Term 1975/76 At Alleyn’s, Including The Demise Of Headmaster John Fanner

I have only an impressionistic memory of the shock that ran through Alleyn’s School on that day in mid December 1975, when we were told, I’m pretty sure it was in Assembly, that our headmaster, John Fanner, had died. It was sudden and unexpected – he had gone into hospital for a seemingly routine operation.

My diary entry for that day is a little strange. Written in ink at a time when I was mostly writing the diary in pencil. A couple of question marks as well:

Tuesday, 16 December 1975 Mr Fanner died yesterday. TV Invisible Man, Are You Being Served? Gym?

Are You Being Served? – with a question mark – is the correct title for that programme. But “Gym?” for the International Gymnastics that followed it feels like a discombobulated diary entry, perhaps not really remembering the extent to which I watched those programmes.

I didn’t know Mr Fanner well. In fact, my only other diary mentions of him are in the first month of my “career” as a diarist, January 1974, when I was relieved of my travel money by a local rough (probably a Billy Biro) on the way to school and was sent to the Headmaster to report and obtain temporary financial relief – see 14 & 15 January entries in the piece linked here:

The First Couple Of Weeks Of My Second Term At Alleyn’s School, 6 to 22 January 1974

I suspect that my January 1974 episode was my only interaction with John Fanner, apart from, perhaps, an occasional “nodding acquaintance” gesture in the corridor.

I sensed that he was a kind man and realised, even at the time, that this was far more of a shock for the teachers than it was for most of the pupils. It was the day before we broke up for the school holidays and I don’t remember dwelling on the matter once school was out.

Others with whom I am in touch 50 years later might have more insightful memories of this event. Mike Jones, for example. Simon Barton for another.

The rest of my diary in the run up to Christmas is unsuitably mundane:

Wednesday, 17 December 1975 broke up. Good report. TV Superstars, Benny Hill.

Thursday, 18 December 1975 played with Andy [Levinson]. Went to library. TV $6 Million Man, Likely Lads, Mastermind, Carry on Christmas.

Friday, 19 December 1975 – Lloyd’s [Green] in morning. TV Pot Black, The Good Life.

Saturday 20 December 1975 all ok. Andy afternoon. TV film German something or other? [Mosquito Squadron]

Sunday, 21 December 1975 – no classes. TV last Upstairs Downstairs, Al Capone.

Monday 22 December 1975 Andy all day. TV Invisible Man, Are You Being Served? Mastermind.

Tuesday, 23 December 1975 – meeting today. Andy afternoon. TV Carry On film [Carry On Up the Khyber], Liver Birds.

Wednesday, 24 December 1975 lovely Christmas eve, Andy all day TV Oliver Twist, Jim’ll Fix It, something something [Dick Emery Christmas Show] and Porridge

Not much insight there.

I have used the opening line from Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen as the headline for this piece. That record was part of the soundtrack of our lives that late autumn and Christmas.

But my earworm that season was the other record that did astonishingly well. Actually, not just an earworm – loads of us in the Alleyn’s School playground (and other playgrounds all over the country) tried to emulate its nonsense:

Perhaps you had to be there.

For those who are desperate to hear/see Bohemian Rhapsody again and don’t know how to use a search engine:

Two Weeks Towards The End Of The First Term Of My Third Year At Alleyn’s, Including THAT Football Match 9 December 1975

Not A Matter Of Life & Death – Far More Important Than That! We had some fine footballers in my year at Alleyn’s – I was not among them.

Sunday, 30 November 1975 – performed play. Very good. Mug taken good. TV Upstairs Downstairs.

I have no idea what the play was, nor why my mug shot was taken. Presumably something at cheder. Any mug shot from that performance is (probably mercifully) lost in the mists of time.

Monday 1 December 1975 all OK. Goodies & Waltons.

Tuesday 2 December 1975 – swimming good. TV Invisible Man, Musical Time Machine.

Wednesday, 3 November 1975 CCF Picture Lecture. TV Superstar, Our Man Flint.

I have no idea whether the picture lecture was something to do with CCF (Combined Cadet Force) or unconnected.

Thursday, 4 December 1975 – drama cancelled, came home early. TV $6 million man, Mastermind.

Friday 5 December 1975 – all OK, TV Tom & Jerry, Pot Black, The Good Life.

Saturday, 6 December 1975 – school morn. Finished play fitting. TV sinking film The Last Voyage.

Sunday, 7 December 1975.– Classes good, lost 7P [at kalooki] boo-hoo, all OK.

Monday, 8 December 1975 – Auntie Alice died last night. Grandma Jenny came to stay.

Alice in the 1950s

Auntie Alice was Grandma Jenny’s sister. Alice had lived with Grandma Jenny for as long as I could remember – indeed quite possibly since before I was born. Alice suffered from hyperkyphosis, which in those days we referred to as hunchback, to such an extent that it caused her respiratory issues. In truth I only really remember her ever sitting in her armchair doing very little. But she was a sweet lady.

Tuesday, 9 December 1975 – goalkeeping – great achievement, TV Superstars, Time Machine.

Yes, I have found it. The sole reference in my diaries to my football playing “career”. My epic goalkeeping performance in an end of term house match. If memory serves, it was my house, Cribbs, v Duttons. My house was playing merely for pride (which might explain how I ended up in the team at all), whereas our opponents needed the win for top of the table glory.

My goalkeeping will not have looked anything like this

Presumably Cribbs had injury/absence issues which resulted in my being selected at all. Presumably Paddy Gray (our Cribbs skipper) knew enough about my two left feet to conclude that I could do the least harm, or even vaguely be of use, by having a go in goal.

As football stalwart Nigel Boatswain would tell you:

some idiot was playing in goal for Cribbs. He didn’t have the faintest idea what he was doing in goal, yet somehow he managed to keep saving the ball and we couldn’t get the ball past that idiot.

I know that Nigel would put it in language of that kind, because that’s pretty much what he said to Johnny Eltham, on one occasion in the 2010s, when we were all gathered for dinner. Johnny replied,

yes I remember and yes I remember who the goalkeeper was…he’s sitting next to you.

Nigel recalls that his team won, so is convinced that they got past me eventually. My recollection is that Paddy Gray decided, towards the very end of the match, that our best chance of keeping a clean sheet was for him to swap in a more competent goalie for the last few minutes…it might even have been himself. It was during those last few minutes, while I was grazing in the long grass trying to stay out of trouble, that the winning goal was scored.

This is a bit like the story at the end of Tom Brown’s Schooldays, when Tom Brown captains his team to a glorious narrow defeat at the hands of the MCC, yet is carried aloft by his teammates because of the narrowness and glory of the defeat.

I’m glad to have found this small yet oft-remembered moment in my diary and I’m glad to see that it occurred in 1975, which was my annus mirabilis sports-wise, what with my quarter-final victory at fives…

An Uneventful Day Playing Fives, 9 June 1975

…it’s a minor miracle that Johnny Eltham still talks to me, now I come to think of it…

…and my hat trick bowling for 2AK, as part of our tournament-winning performance at cricket that summer:

The Day I Took A Hat Trick At Cricket, Alleyn’s School, 9 July 1975

But enough about my single year of sporting glory.

Wednesday 10 December 1975 – no CCF. Grandma Jenny stayed again. TV War Film [Ice Cold In Alex].

Thursday, 11 December 1975 – drama good. TV $6 Million Man, Water Rats, Mastermind, Q6

Friday, 12 December 1975 – all OK, TV Pot Black, The Good Life.

Saturday, 13 December 1975 – Party went well, good fun.

I have no recollection of this party. Possibly an end of term party at the school. I’d have thought I’d have named the friend whose house party it was, had it been a friend’s house party. Anyway, whatever it was, wherever it was, it went well and was good fun according to my diary, which I suspect is all that has survived as a written record about that particular party.

Half Term, Then Three More Weeks At Alleyn’s With Little To Say About School, Late October To Late November 1975

Alleyn’s School in 1922- OK it wasn’t THAT long ago

I really was saying very little in my diaries at that time, apart from documenting my TV viewing, which perhaps hold some interest for some readers.

I was clearly still enjoying drama and tried to enjoy CCF, despite not really being the type. I vaguely recall being made to try a bit of rugby that year, which I absolutely hated and Alleyn’s was in fact ill equipped to play. I think it was an experiment based on the notion that, once the school went co-ed, its chances of shining at football would be much diminished.

I recall trying to avoid house rugby as much as possible by playing fives whenever I could, but I had obviously resolved almost to stop writing about my sporting activities that term.

I wasn’t listening to much popular music that year, either. But the following song was an earworm then and can become an earworm again for you if you let it. It does remind me of that time and brings some of the vague memories back.

Listen while you skim my almost content-free diary entries. You’ll need something to stimulate the senses.

Sunday, 26 October 1975– Classes OK. Went to Felds. TV Carry On Laughing, Upstairs Downstairs.

Monday 27 October 1975 – nice day. TV Goodies, Waltons, Ghost Story.

Tuesday 28 October 1975 – OK, had haircut. Benny Hill great. Dr No!!! [This was the first time that film was shown on UK television, so it will have seemed like a big deal. Hence the exclamation marks!!!]

Wednesday, 29 October 1975 – went to Grandma Jenny. TV Carry On Cleo, Rule Britannia, Cooper, Face the music.

Thursday, 30 October 1975 – all OK. $6 million man, Get Some In, Morecombe & Wise.

Friday 31 October 1975 – mum went to hospital. Bonfire. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Sykes, Porridge.

Saturday 1 November 1975 – all OK. Went with “Auntie” Winifred [neighbour] with dogs. TV Dick Emery, Kojak, No Honestly.

Sunday 2 November 1975 – classes OK, lunch at Felds, mum and dad went out.

Monday 3 November 1975 – went back to school. TV Goodies, Waltons.

Tuesday, 4 November 1975 – all OK TV Tarzan.

Wednesday 5 November 1975 – good speaker? TV Carry On Screaming, Cooper, Face The Music, Till Death Us Do Part.

Thursday, 6 November 1975 – OK. Drama good. TV $6 million man, Ken Dodd, Get Some In, Q6.

Friday, 7 November 1975 – OK. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Sykes, Porridge.

Saturday 8 November 1975 – OK. TV Doctor Who, Basil Brush, Dick Emery, early night

Sunday, 9 November 1975 – classes play. TV Carry On Laughing, Upstairs Downstairs, FBI Story.

Monday 10 November 1975 – all OK TV, Angels, Waltons.

Tuesday, 11 November 1975 – swimming good. TV film good James Garner, Debbie Reynolds [How Sweet It Is (1968)].

Wednesday, 12 November 1975 – lecture. CCF good. TV Carry On Spying, Cooper, Rule Britannia, Face The Music.

Thursday 13 November 1975 – drama good. TV $6 million man and Get Some In Q6 is rotten.

Friday, 14 November 1975 – music good. TV Invisible Man, Pot Black, Porridge.

Saturday, 15 November 1975 – school. After Grandma Anne. TV Dick Emery, Kojak

Sunday, 16 November 1975 – went to Southend. Dined at El Cordola. TV Carry On Laughing, Upstairs Downstairs.

Monday, 17 November 1975 – all OK. TV Goodies, Odie v good, Waltons – a goodie goodie program.

Tuesday, 18 November 1975 – got cold. TV Big Film – platinum robbery [The Biggest Bundle Of Them All], Musical Time Machine.

Wednesday, 19 November 1975 – all OK. Mum and Dad went out. TV Superstars and Cooper, played Monopoly. [Unnamed babysitter will have been one of the Aarons youngsters, almost certainly].

Thursday, 20 November 1975 – OK. Drama good. TV $6 million man, Get Some In, Q6, Miss World, Fiddler onto recorder. [That will be Cyril Barnet’s recording of Fiddler On the Roof in Yiddish.]

Friday, 21 November 1975 evening rows. [Must have been a family gathering at Grandma Anne’s I think. Unless we had our own mini domestic. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Pot Black, Sykes, Porridge.

Saturday 22 November 1975 – exeat. Morning table tennis [that must be at Andy Levinson’s place]. Evening saw Iolanthe. [Was this at school or was it at Sadler’s Wells? I can find no reference to it in Scriblerus, nor in a press search for autumn 1975 come to that].

I could use a bit of help with writing up this period. Any memories from people who were in my orbit at that time will be gratefully received.

Four Term Time Weeks: Little Of Note Except For Mystery Operations & Leaflets With Mr Jenkins & Controversy Over Controversy, Late September To Late October 1975

Operations? Leaflets? It could only be Mr Jenkins.

I’m hoping that some of my Alleyn’s schoolmates can disambiguate the handful of words in this four week period that might refer to interesting stuff going on at school. Frankly, I’m flummoxed.

Here’s the transcript of my multi-coloured scribbles, mostly documenting my TV viewing, but the passing comments on goings on at school might trigger some memories.

Sunday, 28 September 1975 – Dined at Feld’s. TV Upstairs Downstairs.

Just in case anyone wants an explainer for the quirky eatery that was Feld’s – here’s one I wrote earlier.

A Few Days In London Between Keele & Manchester, 14 to 19 December 1980

Monday 29 September 1975 – all OK. TV Goodies, Angels, Waltons.

Tuesday, 30 September 1975 – went swimming. Got cold. TV Tarzan.

Wednesday 1 October 1975 – uneventful day. CCF.

Thursday, 2 October 1975 – did operation leaflet. TV Two Ronnies, Man About The House, Morecombe & Wise.

Friday, 3 October 1975 – uneventful. TV Invisible Man, Dad’s Army, Liver Birds.

Saturday, 4 October 1975 – Exeat. TV Generation Game, Dick Emery, Kojak.

Sunday, 5 October 1975 – went to classes. In top class.

Monday, 6 October 1975 – OK. TV Goodies, My Son Reuben, Waltons.

Tuesday, 7 October 1975 – swimming good. TV Tarzan.

Wednesday, 8 October 1975 – CCF terrible. -> Callow?. It’s A Knockout best day.

Thursday, 9 October 1975 – drama good. TV Two Ronnie, Man About The House, Morecombe and Wise.

Friday, 10 October 1975 – all OK. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Dad’s Army, Liver Birds, Fawlty Towers.

Saturday, 11 October 1975 all OK. TV big film / Bad Day At Black Rock, Dick Emery.

Sunday, 12 October 1975.– Went to Angela and John’s for tea.

Monday, 13 October 1975 – had more slides from Jenkins. TV Goodies, Reuben, Waltons.

Tuesday, 14 October 1975 – uneventful. Swimming good.

Wednesday, 15 October 1975 – OK. Corps very good. TV It’s a Knockout Final – we came fifth.

Thursday, 16 October 1975 – OK. Delivered leaflets. TV Two Ronnies, Get Some In and Morcombe & Wise.

Friday, 17 October 1975 – speech day, half day. TV Invisible Man, Liver Birds, PC Penrose.

Saturday, 18 October 1975 – OK. TV [Secret Of The] Incas, Dick Emery, Kojak.

Sunday, 19 October 1975 – classes. TV Upstairs Downstairs.

Monday, 20 October 1975 – TV Goodies, Waltons, Controversy.

Tuesday, 21 October 1975 – swimming good. TV Tarzan and the Fountain of Youth.

Wednesday, 22 October 1975 – CCF good. TV Carry On Doctor, Rule Britannia, Tommy Cooper & Face The Music.

Thursday, 23 October 1975 – drama good, TV Two Ronnies (last in series), Get Some In, Morecombe & Wise.

Friday, 24 October 1975 – field day (CCF) TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Sykes, Porridge, Fawlty Towers

Saturday 25 October 1975 Half term. TV Basil Brush, Doctor Who, Bruce Forsyth, Film [Judith], Dick Emery, Kojak, No Honestly.

Here’s my list of questions:

  • what do I mean by “operation leaflet” on 2 October, “had more slides from Jenkins” on 13 October and “delivered leaflets” on 16 October?;
  • who was “Callow” – who seems to be the source of my feeling terrible about CCF that day? Parenthetically, I sense that CCF was not for me, but my dad will have told me to “man up” about it, which resulted in me trying to make the most of it after that.

As for Controversy, I remember those programmes. They were compulsory viewing in our household. Here’s a link to an explainer. I have embedded the clip below.

The thing I remember more than anything else about this Controversy programme was my mother’s obsessive hatred of anyone pronouncing that word “contro-versy” rather than, as she asserted, the proper pronunciation, “controver-sy”. I still wouldn’t dare pronounce it the “wrong” way, even to this day – that would be too controversial by far.

Welcome To 3BJ, The First Three Weeks Of My Third Year At Alleyn’s, Ending With My First Sighting Of Fawlty Towers, 7 to 27 September 1975

Mike Jones ponders our imminent arrival in his class – thanks Mike for the photo

I’ve been finding it difficult to start writing up my third year at Alleyn’s; 1975/1976. My diary for the 1974/1975 academic year was full of juicy details of my activities.

But it seems, after all the excitement of my 1975 summer, I returned to school in September 1975 in a different mood – at least in the matter of keeping my diary. I’m needing to rely more on my fading memory for this period of my life and hope for some informed comment from readers.

For example, whereas I wrote down the “cast list” for my 1S and 2AK years, I had “grown out of” doing that by the 3BJ era – which is a blithering shame.

Also, I think I was under the parental…by which I mean maternal…cosh, having made a mess of my year end exams that summer and finding myself in a B stream class. “Get the back up to the A stream,” was the familial message, with some new rules at home to encourage homework and discourage loafing.

You wouldn’t have messed with my mum either. Cruel spectacles.

I’m not convinced that sparse diarising was entirely necessary in my mission to do better at school that year. But the diarising was more sparse and the school results were better.

Here are the first three weeks of September:

I realise that most of that is beyond legibility and/or interpretation, so here goes with my best efforts.

Sunday, 7 September 1975 – Rosh Hashanah [Jewish New Year, day two in this instance].

Monday, 8 September 1975 – uneventful day.

Tuesday, 9 September 1975 – last day [of school holidays. Not the end of the world.] Stuart and Andy [both from our street – Stuart Harris was not a relation and was a Whitgiftian, Andy Levinson was a fellow Alleyn’s pupil].

Wednesday, 10 September 1975 – first day [of school]. 3BJ. Mr Jones.

Thursday, 11 September 1975–1st proper day at school.

Friday, 12 September 1975 – school good. TV Dad’s Army, Liver Birds.

Saturday, 13 September 1975 – school morn. After library. TV Gambit, Dick Emery, Kojak.

Sunday, 14 September 1975 – Kol Nidre [evening prayers to herald the Day of Atonement] in evening.

Monday, 15 September 1975 – Yom Kippur [Day of Atonement].

Tuesday, 16 September 1975 – catching up only today.

Wednesday, 17 September 1975 – uneventful day. Good results school.

Thursday, 18 September 1975 – more good results. TV $6 million man, Two Ronnies, Man About The House.

Friday, 19 September 1975 – uneventful day. TV Dad’s Army, Liver Birds, Stanley Baxter III.

Saturday, 20 September 1975 – school morning. TV Generation Game.

Sunday, 21 September 1975 – no classes. Dined at Feld’s. TV Upstairs Downstairs.

Monday, 22 September 1975 – school OK. TV Goodies, Angels, Waltons etc.

Tuesday, 23 September 1975 – did swimming good. Telepathy. TV Pink Panther

Wednesday, 24 September 1975 – swimming. Went to Aviv meeting [one of mum’s charities. I cannot imagine why I went with her, unless dad had something on that evening and mum didn’t want to fork out for a sitter!].

Thursday, 25 September 1975. Got CCF [Combined Cadet Force] kit. TV Two Ronnies, Man About The House, Morecombe & Wise.

Friday 26 September 1975 – uneventful. TV Invisible Man, Dad’s Army, Liver Birds, Fosters Tower [sic – that can only be Fawlty Towers]

Saturday, 27 September 1975 – school morning. TV Dick Emery, Kojak.

Hard to believe that I didn’t even register the name Fawlty Towers correctly when I first saw it.

It was the episode about The Builders and I remember it tickling me no end. My parents didn’t like it much. Dad found Basil Fawlty irritating, reminding him of some of the twerps he had to deal with in running his business. You can decide for yourselves, if you hadn’t made up your minds already – see embed below.

An Uneventful Week (Apart From Watching The Test) Before Starting My Third Year At Alleyn’s, 1 to 6 September 1975

So much wrong with that technique – but the enthusiasm is there for all to see

After all the excitement of my summer, I went into a very subdued diary mood for some weeks/months after our return.

This diary page, which covers the week between returning from Europe and school restarting, sets the tone.

It barely needs transcribing, but I am a diligent transcriber:

Monday, 1 September 1975 settled in. Watched test. Went to library. [TV] Angels, The High Chaparral.

Tuesday, 2 August 1975 – uneventful day. TV Tarzan, New York, Quo Vadis.

Wednesday, 3 August 1975 – uneventful

Thursday, 4 September 1975 – uneventful

Friday, 5 September 1975 – uneventful

Saturday, 6 September 1975 – Rosh Hashanah [Jewish New Year].

I think we need to do some more forensics on that cricket photo. Here’s a link to the test match scorecard. The umpires were Tom Spencer and Dickie Bird (whom I had the honour and pleasure to meet once – some 40 years after the events of this piece):

A Visit To Leeds For Yorkshire v Middlesex, Headingley, 8 to 10 June 2015

I’m 98% sure that the umpire on the TV screen is Tom Spencer and I’m 100% sure that the wicket-keeper was Rod Marsh, who kept all day that Monday.

The unmistakable stoopy stance of Umpire Spencer on the TV screen.

But who batting? Yes, me, obviously, in front of the screen. I mean on the screen. I have narrowed it down to being John Snow or Barry Wood and I think the answer is John Snow. Cricket lovers – chime in with your thoughts.

It was an unusual match, as they had put aside six days for that Oval test match, used all six but still ended up with a draw.

I sense that even I lost interest after a burst of watching (and having my photo taken), probably quite early on the Monday.

Anyone know what game this is/was?

As an only child, one of my favourite pastimes was working out how to play solitaire versions of the board games in my collection. I have no idea what this game was, let alone how I had worked out a solitaire version of it. My favourite solitaire game was my very own version of Cluedo – the conceit of the solitaire version is long-since forgotten but I remember being fascinated by it for some while.

I suspect that the test match was on the TV while I was indulging in this additional activity. In that respect, I don’t suppose I have changed much, although the additional activity has changed.

As for the TV viewing – I don’t remember the TV drama Angels about student nurses at all. But I certainly remember The High Chaparral. My dad was very keen on it too. Do you fancy getting the theme tune stuck in your head – only click the YouTube embed if you do.

On rehearing The High Chaparral theme, it sounds very much like Joe Meek’s extraordinary instrumental Telstar (famously performed by the Tornados), in the style of Elmer Bernstein’s wonderful theme music for The Magnificent Seven.

I learn, on doing a little further research, that the resemblance between The High Chaparral theme and Telstar has been discussed at length over the decades. One surprising thing, to me, is that I didn’t notice the similarity when Paul Deacon first played me Telstar, which must have been around or very soon after my High Chaparral watching era.

Ironically and tragically, Joe Meek never saw the royalties for Telstar, as a French composer, Jean Ledrut, sued Meek for plagiarism – without success but to some extent understandably – on account of La Marche d’Austerlitz.

Meek died just three weeks before that law suit was found in his favour. Thus he never got a chance to test his own claim against David Rose, who composed The High Chaparral theme, if indeed Meek would have chosen to try such a claim.

Thoughts on these matters will, as always, be much appreciated, whether from my contemporaries or indeed from anyone who stumbles across this page and has a view on any of these topics.

Breaking Up Isn’t Hard To Do: The Last Week Of Term In My 2AK Year At Alleyn’s, 6 to 12 July 1975

Me & Grandma Anne A Few Weeks Later

So much happened in that week, which was the last of my second year at Alleyn’s. Here’s the diary page.

Naturally, readers are already writing in to complain that they cannot read my scribble, even though I haven’t even finished writing up this piece yet. Here’s a transcript:

Sunday, 6 July 1975 – Went to classes. Grandma Anne gave me £100. Great.

Monday, 7 July 1975 – more relaxing. Fives good. TV Sportstown, Star Trek, Waltons, Horizon.

Tuesday, 8 July 1975 – classes good. No bar mitzvah class. Uneventful.

Wednesday, 9 July 1975 – we won cricket. I got a hat-trick and eight runs. TV The Ascent of Man.

Thursday, 10 July 1975 – classes good. Picking up mix-up. TV Jacques Cousteau, Comedy of Marriage.

Friday, 11 July 1975 – broke up from school hurrah. TV Walt Disney, Celebrity Knockout. England flop in first test.

Saturday 12 July 1975 – shule in the morning, Andrew in the afternoon. Aussies dish out more punishment. Susan’s wedding.

£100 was a princely sum in those days. This was my bar mitzvah present. Of course I was allowed nowhere near it – straight into a savings account where it probably ended up making a small but significant contribution to the first deposit I made on a flat nearly a quarter-of-a-century later.

Still, no wonder I have a dreamy expression on my face in the headline photo, which was taken at the bar mitzvah party a few weeks later. I have previously written up one quirky aspect of that party. It was Candappa’s fault, sir…

My Very Brief Junior Career As A Limbo Dancer, The Peacock Club, 10 August 1975

I have also previously written up my hat trick taking heroics in the cricket at Alleyn’s school. A relatively common topic of my conversation, even 50 years later, when talking about my own cricket playing “career”…because there’s not much else of note to talk about.

The Day I Took A Hat Trick At Cricket, Alleyn’s School, 9 July 1975

The phrase, “broke up from school hurrah” sounds like something out of a Billy Bunter book and doesn’t read like me – but it does indicate my enthusiasm for that Alleyn’s school year to have ended – an annus mirabilis (by my standards) in sport but annus horribilis academically.

I had been eagerly anticipating the opportunity to follow England in the 1975 Ashes. I had not fully engaged with cricket aged 9/10 when Australia had previously visited, in 1972. By 1975, I was a proper cricket-mad youngster.

The remarks “England flop” and “Australia dish out more punishment” read like headlines from tabloid newspapers that I couldn’t possibly have seen. Here’s a link to the scorecard from that first test.

I suspect that I spent more time than was good for me watching that cricketing road crash unfold in slow motion. 50 years later, I realise that my habits, in that regard, have not changed much.

I didn’t much follow popular music back then, but I do recall that Van McCoy’s The Hustle was riding high in the charts that summer and was my earworm around the time we broke up from school.

Can you listen to and watch the following vid without trying some of the moves and getting the whole tune stuck in your head as an earworm? Of course you can’t.