Paul Cattermull & Emma Norris (front), Linda Sheraton-Davis, Me, Richard Prosser & Simon Mansfield (back) – looking on from the dedans.
The team at The Queen’s Club gate are regular faces and clearly very well trained. On arrival, I announced myself by saying:
I am here for one of the great events in the global sporting calendar.
The attendant replied:
That must be the Dedanists’ match. Let me get the list…
I was especially looking forward to the fixture when I learnt that I would be paired with Giles Stogdon, with whom I have partnered many times in the past, but not since the arrival of Pinky, my new hip, less than a year ago.
Playing one of the early matches gave us the opportunity to warm up with some of the other early arrivals. During warm up, Giles tried but failed to emulate the “lights out tennis” he had mustered against me the previous week in the MCC weekend:
The early arrival also of Linda Sheraton-Davis & Chris Hancock enabled us to start our bout about 15 minutes early. Just as well – the battle was a hum-dinger which would not have been concluded in a mere hour. Indeed, even with the extra time, we needed to start the decisive third set at 4-4.
At one point, Linda Sheraton-Davis made an impressively elegant, almost balletic manoeuvre, in order to dodge the ball and avoid losing a vital point, allowing a modest chase instead.
Later in the evening, in conversation – yes, the chatting, watching, eating and drinking is at least as important as the tennis on these occasions – it transpired that Linda had indeed pursued ballet as a hobby in her youth. Several people expressed regret that Linda’s “croisé devant” had not been captured on camera during our match.
But in the modern era, one needn’t let an absence of real images spoil a good story. I instructed DeepAI to produce an image that reflected Linda’s move. The AI did rather well, although I couldn’t persuade it to produce anything that looked faintly like “a real tennis court”…or even “a court tennis court”…as the background. But it has most certainly captured the dance move.
Being a polite chap, I did ask Linda for permission to produce and publish an automated artist’s impression of the moment. Linda replied:
Only if you also point out to your readers that starting the final set at 4-4 put you and Giles at an advantage, because in both of the previous sets you had won the first two games and then lost the next three!
You see how much it means to us all! In truth, we all turn up in the hope of having good bouts like the one we enjoyed on this occasion, but tend not to be too fussed about the result if it is a good match.
As much as anything else, this Dedanists’ fixture, like many others, tends to be populated mainly by Dedanists, such that we often find ourselves batting for the other side. As in 2023, in 2026 I was representing The Queen’s Club…despite having no real right to do so.
Giles Stogdon has no more right to represent Queen’s than me. He hadn’t even twigged that we were listed to represent Queen’s rather than The Dedanists’.
The fact of the matter is – the “which team won?” aspect doesn’t really matter. We raise some money for the Dedanists’ Society good causes, have a good fun match and a most companionable dinner afterwards. In that sense everyone wins and tennis wins.
Richard Vallat & Gary Duncan (service end) v Graham Defries & Stuart Kerr (hazard end).
On returning to the gallery after their battle, Richard Vallat confessed to me that he had completely forgotten which side he was representing this time around. Classic. But the last set of that match was a most enjoyable watch while we worked up our appetites for a delicious boeuf bourguignon dinner, followed by a very tempting cheese plate.
But just in case anyone has come here to see a results sheet – here is that sheet.
Colin clinched the china after strivin’ for the Ivan, the beaker for the burlesque is the cup snuck by Chalice…
London Cricket Trust Dinner At Soutine, 9 December 2025
This is the second time we’ve had our London Cricket Trust Christmas dinner at Soutine after our last Board meeting of the year.
Smug and self-satisfied we are not, but we are now able to boast 118 non-turf pitch installations and 21 net system installations completed since we started seven years ago. “Way to go”, as our transatlantic friends might put it, but this is a transformational number of facilities in parks around London that would otherwise have been without.
Chris Whitaker, Ed Griffiths, Ian Moore, Sophie Kent and I enjoyed the meal and the company.
Dedanists’ Society Lunch, Lemonia, 11 December 2025
These images from the Dedanists’ Society website, depicting the lunch last year
Always a highlight of the festive season, this gathering of dedicated realists provided an opportunity to talk real tennis, in contrast with my activities earlier in the week which were about cricket.
Hard ball doesn’t get much harder than this. I tried to be suitably abstemious, or at least minimally lubricated, as I also had an evening engagement that evening…
The Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, Goodge Street Spaghetti House, 11 December 2025
A slightly depleted gang gathered for the traditional seasonal Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, which has, for decades now, included a form of quizzing for the Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Trophy. More recently, since the demise of NewsRevue founder and mentor Mike Hodd, we also play for a Mike Hodd memorial trophy. I won “the Hoddy” last year, which meant that it was my job to come up with a suitable game/quiz for this year’s contest.
The gang for dinner this year comprised me, John Random, Barry Grossman, Hugh Ryecroft, Chalice Am Bergris, Mark Keegan and Colin Stutt.
Barry Grossman started the game proceedings with the Ivan Shakespeare Trophy quiz. I did rather badly and Colin Stutt did rather well.
Then it was my turn to curate a game/quiz for the Hoddy. Below is the game.
Any reader should feel free to write in, ianlharris@gmail.com, and I’ll gladly mark your questions. No pressure, but Chalice scored eight-and-a-half, which was a joint top score, winning by dint of the humour bonus on one of her questions.
It’s not all about quizzes and awards, of course. Heaven forbid. The chat at dinner was lively and witty as always.
Z/Yen Seasonal Lunch, Watermen’s Hall, 12 December 2025
After a hearty hit on the tennis court at Lord’s and an even stouter Board Meeting at King William Street, the Z/Yen throng retired to Watermen’s Hall for seasonal lunch and festivities.
Secret Santa did his best to liven up the post lunch activities, despite certain seemingly intelligent folk strangely finding the idea of Secret Santa hard to understand…not mentioning any names, Bob Pay.
Then quizzing and singing. As part of Z/Yen’s journey towards net zero…in this case zero effort more than necessary…the Z/Yen seasonal quiz bore more than a passing resemblance to the Hoddy one depicted above…apart from the title and Z/Yen logos where the pictures of Mike Hodd are shown above.
Readers are as welcome to have a go and send in your questions for the Z/Yen quiz as you were for the Mike Hodd one. No pressure, but the combined forces of Juliet and Charlotte managed a most impressive nine. Questions that were too clever for their own good did not find favour with the judge, which was a bit of a disadvantage for the more-propellor-headed attendees.
As a further lurch in the direction of net zero (excess effort), I also road tested the idea of getting a random bunch of people to sing Jacobean songs, which worked almost as well with Z/Yen as it seems to be working with the real tennis community on skills nights. But that’s another story. As (will be) the attempt to get Gresham Society people singing in that manner.
Suffice it to say that the Z/Yen community was so motivated by the “We Be Three Poor Mariners” song that they danced around the Watermen’s table while singing it. Apt, I suppose, at Watermen’s.
Once again I found myself match managing for the Dedanists’ Society in Tony Friend’s absence. This year he tried to be more specific about the match report:
The readers will want a pie report. And make sure you tell them about the MVP.
In my first draft, I waxed lyrical about several performances, even mentioning my own, before unequivocally stating that Oliver Buckley, who played two excellent rubbers for the Hamsters, was clearly the “most valuable player” on the day.
Tony was not impressed:
What are you doing? MVP doesn’t stand for “most valuable player” in a pie report. It stands for “most viscous pie”. Tell ’em about the pies.
The desserts were excellent too, but none were, strictly speaking, pies.
I needed to resort to gustatory memory and visual forensics
I detect Chicken, Ham & Leek on the one hand, Steak, Mushroom & Merlot on the other…
It was a tough choice. The dauphinoise potatoes need an honourable mention, as do the desserts, but they were none of them pies. On balance, the steak, mushroom and merlot was just a little more viscous than the chicken, ham and leek, but both were unquestionably delicious.
A huge thank you to Ian Hancock and Elwyn Hughes, who confessed to me when I arrived early and offered help, that they were “hosting virgins”, i.e. had neither of them hosted a match before. This would not have been obvious to most attendees. Nor to me at first, as the table was already laid at 9:30 am.
Then at 9:40, Lesley Ronaldson popped in and wondered why they hadn’t extended the table before laying it. I “helped” by photographing the ensuing refit.
At one point Lesley could be seen under the table, for reasons I couldn’t quite fathom. The next photo might have captured the moment that Ian & Elwyn realised that she was there.
Anyway, the point is, our hosts at RTC pulled off a blinder, as usual, providing wonderful hospitality for this convivial and enjoyable match.
There was also tennis, which, the results table below confirms, registered a 3.5/2.5 victory for the Hamsters.
But wait! Graeme Marks appeared for the Dedanists’ at 11:30 and then later for the Hamsters at 15:30. What confusion!
Many of us frequently find ourselves representing one team while also being qualified to represent the other. See the case of MCC v Dedanists’: [2025]. On such occasions, we might even find ourselves putting two shirts in our kit bag, unclear when setting off for the match which side we’ll end up representing. See the case Dedanists’ v MCC: [2020].
We even, very occasionally, find ourselves selected for a team for which we are not qualified, in order to help make the match-ups work. See Queen’s Club v The Dedanists’ Society: [2023].
Batting for both sides in the same match, though? Surely the Latin maxim “Nemo potest duobus dominis servire” – no-one can serve two masters – applies here. And if we scratch the two offending rubbers from the record, the match result looks oh-so different.
But wait! There is another Latin legal maxim: “Nemo iudex in sua causa” – no-one can judge their own case. So I suppose I must shut up with judgmental ramblings about the result, other than to say that the winner, as always, was real tennis, not least because a few hundred quid will find its way to The Dedanists’ Society coffers and then on to good causes.
Yet, I am still entitled to judge the MVP (most viscous pies):
Gold Pie: Steak, Mushroom & Merlot
Silver Pie: Chicken, Ham & Leek
And the other type of MVPs – i.e. most valuable pastry-cooks? Unquestionably Ian Hopkins & Elwyn Hughes. With thanks again for the warm and friendly hospitality in the fine tradition of Hamsters v Dedanists’ matches.
Far be it from me to pretend to be a Jester. But this was a match at The Queen’s Club, so I am in the habit of representing various different teams there, regardless of whether I am actually a member of that club (e.g. MCC, The Dedanists’ Society) or not (e.g. The Queens Club itself, or, for this match, The Jesters Club).
In this instance, I wasn’t supposed to be playing at all. I had promised myself, and my surgeon, that Pinky, my brand-new hip, would be spared competitive matches and tournaments until the autumn. But when the call comes from Tony Friend, it’s difficult to say no…especially when he says, “feel free to say no”, in his “please help” tone of voice.
Also, the call to play the kick-off rubber of this match, as a substitute Jester, could be construed as more like the friendly hours of doubles that I am now playing, than a fierce competitive bout. I said “yes”.
“Would you also be willing to write the match report please? …fully understand if not,” said Tony.
The gentle art of watching on: Anton, Patrick & Josh (above) – Peter, Jon, Tabby & Jez (below)
Had anyone present been paying attention to the scores, they would have seen a match that built to a tremendous climax. First the Jesters took the lead, then the Dedanists’ clawed it back and took the lead, then the Jesters levelled the match again. After six rubbers, there had been two wins for each side and a couple of drawn rubbers. Naturally the final rubber went to a nail-biting one-set-all, five-games-all decider that was determined in favour of the Dedanists’ by a whisker.
James, Stuart, James & Paul. Did any of them know their rubber was determining the match?
But in truth, no-one was paying attention to the scores, other than a vague interest in the rubber that was in front of those indulging in the gentle art of watching tennis. Such is the way of matches such as this, between two peripatetic sides, with many players eligible for both teams and some, like me, representing the team for which they are not eligible.
The well-worn but suitable phrase on such occasions is that tennis was the winner. Several hundred pounds raised for the Dedanist’s Society, after a convivial afternoon and evening at Queen’s, playing & watching tennis, then dining and chatting with friends. Bliss.
Johnny Saunders claps my lunge winner as my hip twinges in appreciation
One of my favourite comedy sketches of all time is a Peter Cook & Dudley Moore sketch named “One Leg Too Few”. It wouldn’t pass some people’s 2025 political correctness tests, but it still passes mine. The conceit of it is a one-legged Dudley Moore auditioning for the role of Tarzan, with casting director Peter Cook dispensing a mixture of common sense discouragement and surreal encouragement to the job applicant, in a style that only Peter Cook could deliver. I recommend that you watch it on the link below.
MCC v Old Harrovians, 22 January 2025
I was reminded of this sketch when I got an unexpected call from Harsha Boralessa, who organises the traditional MCC v Old Harrovians match, less than 10 days before the 2025 fixture. I had sent Harsha a note back in August or September 2024 volunteering to represent the MCC in this fixture but had assumed that “no news means not selected” and had more or less forgotten about it.
By the time Harsha called to see if I could play, I was in the process of scheduling my right hip replacement, having ascertained that there is nothing left in my right hip that might be described as cartilage, which might explain why I am now hobbling around the court, rather than leaping around the place like a gazelle.
Your left hip is fine, Mr Harris. I’ve nothing against the cartilage in your left hip. The problem is, (by way of right hip cartilage), neither have you…
I explained my impediment to Harsha, while making it clear that, as an addict, I would like to play because I ALWAYS like the idea of playing tennis rather than not playing tennis.
Seemingly oblivious to the impediment aspect, Harsha simply said:
…but can you be there for a prompt four o’clock start?
Hence, in the absence of a two-legged applicant for the role, I got the gig.
Old Harrovians have historically been well subscribed with fine players of the hard ball games – cricket, rackets, fives and tennis.
William Hart Dyke – rackets, cricket, tennis (real and lawn)…
Modern times seems to be no exception, with the vast majority of the players in this match being both Old Harrovians and MCC members. Only two or three of us who represented the MCC were from other schools.
I had always imagined that this fixture was designed for players “above my pay grade” – i.e. with much better handicaps than mine. For sure, several of the players and some of the rubbers were far more high falutin’ affairs than I could ever manage, fit or not. Indeed, Ed Turner, who partnered me for the MCC, despite being way above my pay grade, went on to play a second rubber for the Old Harrovians against the MCC. The fellow couldn’t lose…or couldn’t fail to lose, depending on how you look on it.
But that, it seems to me, is the central premise of this fixture. A really interesting and friendly bunch of people enjoying a convivial match with the bonus of a traditional MCC curry supper to round off the evening. The fact that the quality of tennis spanned athletes with handicaps in the 20s to hobbling wrecks like me with handicaps in the 50s or 60s didn’t seem to matter a jot.
Would Edward Chandos Leigh, another Old Harrovian and MCC Chairman from that bygone era, have approved of such convivial amateur sportsmanship?
You can bet your infeasibly slick hair and shiny top hat that he would have done.
MCC v Dedanists, 25 January 2025
Carl Snitcher, that match guvnor, at this very fixture five years ago
The Dedanists’ Society, like the Old Harrovians, is a peripatetic team. And much like the Old Harrovians fixture I have just described, when MCC play The Dedanists, most of the participants are eligible to play for both sides.
I first played this fixture before I was a Dedanist, in 2018. On that occasion I partnered Carl Snitcher for the MCC:
The second time I played this fixture, in 2020, I was by then a Dedanist but was expecting to represent the MCC again. Tipped off by a friendly professional, I put both shirts into my bag just in case, which was just as well, as I found myself being a late switch onto the Dedanists’ team. My first game partnering Martin Village and my last representative match before the pandemic.
No amount of “but Carl, I’m a hobbling wreck” talk was going to put Carl off from selecting me to play for The Dedanists in this match in 2025. In truth, I fancied a competitive hit ahead of the club weekend and also quite wanted Janie to see my hobble at this stage of my hip degeneration so she might help gauge my post operative progress.
I requested a late in the day match, so Janie and I might get other necessities (including an hour of “lawn”) done before Lord’s. The traffic between W3 and NW8 was ridiculous that afternoon; I allowed an extra half hour over the normal journey time of 30 minutes and we used 29-and-a-half of my 30 minute leeway.
No matter – the stress of the journey allowed me to hang up my hang-ups before the game and play pretty well by my own ordinary standards. It helped that I was partnering Johnny Saunders, who is a great competitor who nevertheless plays with a smile on his face, or “for fun” as I put it at one point in our match.
We were a set and 3-2 down as one stage, but managed to turn things around in the end, mostly by dint of Johnny getting better and better. My hobble was possibly more distracting to my opponents than it was to me. Looking at this video of the last 20 minutes of the game, I must admit that I look quite incapable of getting to the ball a lot of the time and yet somehow get just enough onto the ball, awkwardly to keep the point going.
While I’m rehabbing, if I ever have doubts about why I am replacing that hip, I should look at this video to assure myself that I couldn’t possibly go on like that for the rest of my life.
I think Janie enjoyed her afternoon at Lord’s – the Dedanists and the MCC folk who play/watch this fixture are a very friendly crowd.
Our day was rounded off by a most enjoyable evening at the Hampstead Theatre, which included a mystery post match / pre show interview.
This year I partnered Richard Prosser, with whom I had partnered successfully for The Dedanists’ against The Hamsters in the autumn. We came close in The Lowenthal, qualifying for the semi-final but losing narrowly there to the eventual winners, Candida Nicholls, who partnered my former winning partner, Sebastian Wood.
Needless to say, everyone’s a winner on the Dedanists’ Society day, as we get to play together, eat together and raise some dosh for the good cause together.
Smiling faces in the headline photo tell the tale.
24 May, The Dedanists’ v The Jesters Match & Dinner
Yes, dinner is at least as important, if not more important, for these Dedanists’ events in May. Most of the Jesters who join in are also Dedanists – there is often some doubt as to which team each participant will represent. I ended up representing The Dedanists’ partnering François Menagé, from Paris, whom I had not met before. With such a name, I imagined a French gentleman and wondered whether I needed to master the French words for “up”, “yours” etc. in order to communicate successfully during play. But François Menagé turns out to be a Franco-Mauritian who was educated in England and with whom I was able to swap tales of Mauritius from 40+ years ago:
I’m sure François would agree that neither of us played quite at our best. For sure we were bettered by my nemesis Candida and her partner Richard Pettit, who both nevertheless made splendid dinner companions at the meal afterwards.
I always enjoy these Dedanists’ occasions – this May 2024 double bill was no exception.
This photo and others from Skills Night by Conor Coley, with thanks
Skills Night At Lord’s 1 November 2023
Lord’s Skills Nights, now held twice-yearly, have become “my thing”, by dint of me, foolishly, offering to help back in 2019. Foolishly, because I thought “help” might mean adding a bit of extra resource to a well-managed thing, rather than, as it turned out, replacing the manager who used to manage the well-managed thing. Thank you, Johnny Whiting.
Still, in truth I enjoy managing it as much of not more than I enjoyed playing it. The curry and wine afterwards always was the highlight and I can certainly still participate in that aspect.
At least i get to curate the prize-giving, providing room for all manner of subsidiary prizes and opportunities to give away gimcrack.
Most Valuable Player Award – a millionaire every timeThe Close But No Cigar Award
If you have an MCC login – everything you ever wanted to know about his event but were afraid to ask can be found here. In the unlikely event that someone else wants to read my match report in excruciating detail, click here.
Lord’s Club Nights, 16 November and 13 December 2023
By similar method, although slightly less formal, Steven Bishop managed to finesse a seemingly one-off request to “look after Club Night” for him on one occasion just before the pandemic, into “I’m basically not really in London midweek any more…” me looking after Club Night most months.
This informal evening can be curated while playing, which I very much enjoy doing on these occasions. We get a mixture of regulars and newbies. It is always possible to mix and match, to make the evening fun and good practice for most if not all who attend.
An Afternoon Watching Really Real Doubles At Queen’s, 17 November 2023
The only slot of the British Open that worked for me this year – I very much enjoyed a few hours at Queen’s watching proper real tennis doubles on Quarter-Finals afternoon. I saw Rob Fahey and Nicky Howell overcome Levi Gale & Lewis Williams, then John Lumley & Steve Virgona defeat Claire Fahey and Louis Gordon. A pleasant afternoon, during which time I ran into several people I know, which is more or less guaranteed if you go to see real tennis.
Dedanist’s Lunch At Lemonia Followed By Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner At Spaghetti House Holborn, 14 December 2023
A Highlight of the real tennis year is the Dedanist’s seasonal lunch, at Lemonia. On this occasion I needed to be reasonably abstemious because OI was going on that evening to the annual Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner afterwards.
But reasonably abstemious still allowed for a glass-and-a-half of wine, some tasty grub and excellent company.
The photo below from the Ivan Shakespeare, not The Dedanist’s.
Thanks to David Wellbrook for the above picture of me, him & Rohan Candappa
Tuesday 23 May – Brasserie Zédel With Wellbrook & Candappa
I’ve known Rohan Candappa & David Wellbrook for very nearly 50 years now. Rohan is very good at keeping in touch and occasionally just saying, “let’s meet” and/or “there’s something I want to chat through with you fellas”.
We responded to the call. David booked Brasserie Zédel, a favourite place of his. As it happens, I had wanted to try the place for some time, ever since I discovered that my grandfather, Lew Marcus, worked there for decades as a barber in the Regent Palace Hotel, rising to the giddy heights of manager I am told:
Anyway, we were there to chew the fat, catch up and the like. I think I have persuaded Rohan and David to provide some “Fifty Years Ago” reflections on the opening overs of our Alleyn’s School career, as I remember so little about the very early days and didn’t start my diary until January 1974.
Rohan wanted to discuss his thoughts on positive proposals following his extensive fundraising around mental health, not least reframing the language used around that subject.
It became a little difficult to have profound conversation once the jazz trio got started. With two of them sporting flat caps, I thought they might name themselves “Jazz & Dave”.
Always good to catch up with those two. Good food & drink at that place too.
Always great to catch up with John – it had been a while so we had a bit of catching up to do. But we shall be seeing each other again within the month, along with “the girls” and Pady. Part of our catching up comprised planning that gathering.
Thursday 25 May – Lord’s For Sunrisers v South East Stars & Middlesex v Surrey, With Janie
Cullen Bowls To The Curran Brothers
Our plan, which more or less worked, was to get to Lord’s around 15:00 and watch as much of the double-header as took our fancy. The weather smiled on us, for sure, so we took root in Janie’s favourite place, the pavilion sun deck.
In truth, the afternoon women’s game, between the Sunrisers and South East Stars, was somewhat of a damp squib, both in terms of the cricket and also the atmosphere…or lack thereof. Midweek afternoon games work great when youngsters are off school. In term time, the timing virtually guaranteed a tiny crowd before the evening.
A reasonable number of member stalwarts (MCC and MCCC) turned up for both matches, but there was almost no atmosphere for the women’s match, which is a shame.
There was a decent (but not full) crowd for the Middlesex v Surrey fixture.
Anyway, we were enjoying ourselves. But the Surrey score batting first seemed high and the chill of the evening was starting to tell, so we decided to go home and watch the almost inevitable ending of the match on TV.
This event was subsequently immortalised on the King Cricket site:
Friday 26 May – Dedanists v Jesters At The Queen’s Club
I was delighted to be selected again to represent The Dedanists in this absolutely crucial real tennis fixture with The Jesters.
If anyone from Alleyn’s School is still reading at this juncture, you might be interested to know that the very first Jesters fixture was in late 1928 – a Rugby Fives match between the nascent Jesters and Alleyn Old Boys.
Actually, in truth, this is one of those fixtures where half the people playing are members of both clubs and half the time it’s hard to work out who is representing which club. Indeed on this occasion I found myself (together with Simon Cripps) playing for the Dedanists but playing against our team captain, Martin Village, who paired up with Anton Eisdell.
I’m glad to say I managed to maintain a winning streak in the matter of match play in Dedanists fixtures at Queen’s, having recently lost my Lowenthal Trophy crown there to, amongst others, Mr Eisdell. The piece linked here and below also describes this Jesters fixture from last year.
It was a thoroughly delightful afternoon and evening – my first (but hopefully not last) opportunity to partner Simon Cripps – who kept getting me out of trouble and who in truth was the key to our success as a pair. Also an opportunity to meet and chat with lots of delightful and interesting people.
It also gave me the opportunity to check up on the progress of the seats I have booked for me and Janie to enjoy the Wednesday of Queen’s this year.
Robert Muir tapped me up for this late March Sunday tennis match at Petworth. I realised that it would make an excellent “excuse” for us (me and Janie) to enjoy a short break in Sussex, having done nothing of that kind for so many months.
I hired, through Air B’n’B, what looked like and turned out to be a charming old cottage in Fittleworth for a few days.
Saturday 25 March – Limping From London To Fittleworth, Then Dining In Petworth
Janie and I played our regular game of (modern) tennis on the Saturday morning and set off after a light lunch.
The adventure did not start well.
Dumbo, The Suzuki Jimny, who had recently had a flat tyre & wheel change, let us know as soon as he went over 40 mph that he was not going to be happy at speed, juddering like crazy. Dumbo is well known around London as a pandemic hero…
…but his popularity on and beyond the M25, juddering along at 35-40 mph. was not evident. People were hooting and gesticulating at us.
Daisy got on the mobile phone, trying to locate garages or “tyre services” near to our location on the M25/M3, with limited success, until someone in goodness knows where recommended someone in Guildford, who suggested that we were nearer to Aldershot…
…two keen lads at Aldershot Kwikfit identified that the problem was tyre-balancing and thought that their machine was not working properly because the imbalance appeared “off the scale”. I guessed that the tyre dude in Acton had sold us a dud, so we decided to limp on to Fittleworth and take stock on Monday.
A sliver of Peshwari Nan, me dear?
We commissioned Sue’s cabs (a two-car, husband & wife combination, in which the wife seems very much in charge…we were allocated husband Charles) to take us to and from our Fittleworth cottage to Basmati in the Petworth Market Square – suitably located next door to the Co-op where we could get some basic supplies for our few days.
We had an excellent meal, comprising Peshwari nan & papadoms to start, followed by chicken tikka shobuz (Daisy’s choice), jatt lamb (my choice) tarkha dhaal and lemon rice. A very juicy Malbec helped to wash all of that down and some very friendly and helpful staff served it all.
Anyway, Robert had kindly arranged for me (and a couple of other Dedanists who had ventured far for this fixture) to play two short rubbers rather than one, which added to the fun.
Kim Walker and Me for the DedanistsA sweet win, coming from behind
Between my two short rubbers, a fine lunch of pies and veg, produced in ample quantities by Robert and Carole.
I partnered Chris Marguerie in the second of my rubbers, which was closer than the first but, much like that first rubber, a victory despite being behind for most of the rubber.
Janie was absolutely rapt with attention during that second rubber of mine. Unfortunately, she was paying attention to Nigel Pendrigh and discussing all manner of paramedical matters rather than hanging on my every shot. What a strange way to spend your time at a real tennis match.
Joking apart, the whole event was wonderfully convivial time with old friends and new, as well as good fun tennis, which is just as such friendly matches should be.
We snacked light that evening back at our little cottage, enjoying the peace and privacy and the rather fruity bottle of white depicted above, courtesy of our host.
Monday 27 March – A Day In Petworth
At the tennis match, we discussed Dumbo’s little problem with several of the locals. Robert and most of the others were emphatic..
speak with Alan at Market Square Garage in Petworth tomorrow.
…so we did; first thing. Alan said he’d give it a try.
Alan’s Dumbo diagnosis was that the dud tyre was “off the scale unbalanced” and needed replacing. He also pointed out that the spare, upon which I had been unconsciously pinning my hopes for several years, was also a dud and would not be a safe replacement. I asked him to order and replace two, such that I’d have a matching pair at the front and the older front tyre that was not a dud could become a useable spare.
Alan told us that the tyres would definitely arrive at some point that afternoon, enabling him to complete the job, but it could be any time in the afternoon.
Thus our plans were laid. We would do our day of walking around Petworth House, Gardens and Deer Park. Worse things could happen to us on a beautiful sunny spring day, two minutes walk from the entrance to Petworth House & Park.
Two minutes later…the park entrance
At the park entrance, we happened upon Martin, who is the head gardener for the grounds. He and Janie had quite a long conversation about plants, shrubs and trees, quite a bit of which was in Latin. I understood “daffodils”, “ponds”, “deer”, “landscape”, “Capability Brown” and a few other words.
Probably best I tell the next part of the story in pictures more than words.
Mostly my pictures around the deer park – one or two are Janie’s. It is a shame my tennis shots are not as consistent as my photo shots.
After that long walk around the deer park we were ready for an early lunch, so we parted company with the entrance fees and entered the house and gardens.
We were persuaded to join a short talk about J.M.W. Turner in the card room first.
Janie savoured this unlikely scene of cricketers and fallow deer in front of the pond
Then we took an early lunch. Just as well we went early – we managed to get a table and our choice of grub: tuna jacket-tater for Daisy, za’atar chicken bap for me. But before we had finished our grub, another couple asked to share our table and they discovered that almost all of the food was sold out…at around 12:50. (Blame Brexit/Covid/Putin/rail strikes).
Then we had a look around the servants’ quarters, not least the old kitchens, which were fascinating and rather stunning in their own way. Janie coveted some of the larger pieces of equipment which were almost as big as our entire kitchen.
More copper than the Met Police“Looks real. Are you SURE we can’t eat it?”The SculleryStill RoomJanie showed our age by confessing that she did a holiday job as a kid for a wealthy, elderly couple who had a communications system that looked just like this
Then we looked at a small modern art exhibition.
Janie’s gloves were well colour-co-ordinated with several of the pictures
Refreshed and mentally stimulated, we set off for a second walk – this time around the pleasure gardens part. A slightly shorter, similar loop to our morning walk, but very different look in the pleasure garden.
Daffodils – see, I did understand what they had been talking aboutIs that the village idiot or did Daisy just twig the folly of the Doric Temple?Is that the Petworth rough sleeper or were the exertions now catching up with Ged?Approaching the RotundaA thrush at surprisingly close quarters
Along the way, we encountered the gardeners again. Janie asked one of them about a particular shrub, to which he said…
…oh yes, you’re the couple that was talking to Martin earlier. I’m not entirely sure, but Martin will know…
MARTIN (from behind a larger bush): Enkanthus perulaus…
…so now we all know. Was Martin following us around?
Not sure, but when I stopped to take the following picture…
…I heard the gardeners’ buggy coming, stopped, stood to attention, saluted and got well splashed by the puddle they went through. Janie, from a safe distance, saw the whole episode unfolding and could not stop laughing for a while. Nor could I. They must have thought that I was a right twit of a city boy!
Once Janie stopped laughing, I took her photo with that magnolia:
Soon we were back at the house and in need of a little more refreshment – i.e. a cup of coffee to perk ourselves up – before looking at the bits of the main house we hadn’t seen before lunch:
ChapelThe Leconfield ChaucerMing, Italianate and Japanese thingsExceptional murals on the grand staircaseSt.Mary’s Petworth, as seen from that staircase
We then left Petworth House, wondering where we might go to while away the time until Alan had prepared Dumbo. Just as we were walking through the exit door into the town, my phone went. Dumbo was ready for us.
Dumbo’s new found friends at Alan’s place
Dumbo seemed a little reluctant to leave his new found friends. To be honest, he’s been getting ideas above his service station ever since he encountered the following mob in a car park a couple of week’s ago:
Two Lamborghinis, Dumbo and a red Ferrari. That’s Waitrose Bayswater for you
But I digress. We’d had a super day.
Tuesday 28 March – Brighton, Hove & Home
The weather turned yukky again on the Tuesday, but that didn’t really effect us. We rose quite early, checked out of our sweet little cottage in Fittleworth and went to see Sidney & Joan in Hove, via a short stop at Pendulum in Brighton, where Janie likes to treat me to some louder, fancier clothing than I would ever treat myself. This was a successful visit – three shirts, three pairs of troos and a pair of boat shoes.
Trigger warning: you might need sunglasses for my shirts if you run across me this summer.
Nothing looks colourful on a gloomy day, but Daisy thought the car in front of us was well colour-co-ordinated with the Brighton lamp posts
Then lunch with Sidney and Joan, for the first time since before the pandemic, which is too long of course. It was lovely to see them again and we chatted about many things, not least family stories from way back when. Word had reached Sidney about his Uncle Sid’s revived fame as a saw player, explain and linked within the following:
Lunch and the afternoon flew by, which left only the journey home and an early night, as Janie and I were both tired but very satisfied at the end of our short break.
Brian Sharp presents the Mason Sharp Trophy To The A/B Category Winners at the end of the MCC weekend.
I played plenty of real tennis (and lawn come to that) in January, building up to the MCC Club Weekend, the last weekend of January, an event that I had either steered away from or had cruelly steered away from me until this year. I’m hooked on the idea of playing in it now, though – it was great fun.
MCC Tennis Chair, Guy Pemberton, applauds, as Graeme Marks presents
The Queen’s Club v The Dedanist’s Society At Queen’s, 3 February 2023
I have previously described the oddities of Dedanist’s Society matches, with many players being eligible for both teams and often not knowing who they are going to play for until the last minute.
But I broke yet more new ground in February 2023 in my role in the Queen’s Club match, “batting for the other side”, because I have, in theory, no right whatsoever to represent Queen’s.
…but I am not a member of Queen’s and not in truth eligible to represent. Further, there were several people listed who were members of both Queen’s and The Dedanist’s. But the timings and handicaps meant that it made sense for me (and one or two other people) to swap sides for this friendliest of friendly fixtures.
I partnered a really pleasant fellow in the first fixture of the day and we did well. I think we set the ball rolling for a Queen’s Club win, but it was hard to tell as we all kept having to look at the schedule to work out which pair was playing for which team.
I think it is fair to say that it REALLY didn’t matter. Nick Browne organised a really enjoyable afternoon and evening – the event was rounded off with a fine meal in the President’s Room – which, as usual, raised money for the Dedanist’s Society’s good causes as well as providing a really good time for us players/attendees.
