Tag: Z/Yen

Several (Seven) Seasonal Events, December 2024

Family gathering at Buenasado in Bristol, 7 December 2024

Gosh it was a busy December of gatherings again this year. Also busy work-wise. Indeed Janie took the following picture early in the month, which should remind me of December 2024 just as much as the gatherings memoirs.

Looks like I’m concentrating on some serious shit

Family Gathering In Bristol, 7-8 December 2024

Janie and I took an Airbnb quite near to Hil and Chris’s place. We also visited them at home before the big bash at Buenasado, which was even closer to our Airbnb so we walked to the restaurant. The headline picture tells the main tale.

Tired after a hard week, a long drive and a steak supper? Moi??

Tennis Committee & Club Night At Lord’s, 11 December 2024

My first go at a committee meeting for real tennis, followed by Club Night, which Andrew Hinds kindly curated until I was able to escape the pavilion and trek across the way to the court. It was a fun evening. By the end of the evening, I had probably played a bit more than I should, but that’s Club Night for you.

No photos from that evening but my technique probably still looks like my 2016 shod.

Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner At Spaghetti House Goodge Street, During Which I Won The Hodd, 12 December 2024

What a bunch of quizzical clowns: Keith, Graham, Barry, John, Hugh, Mark & Sue

The Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner is traditionally, at this time of year, a gathering of the NewsRevue alumni clan with lots of quizzes. We have played for the Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Trophy for a great many years, but recently we also play for the Mike Hodd Trophy, as NewsRevue founder and mentor Mike Hodd also shed this mortal coil a few years ago.

Barry Grossman is probably our most consistent quiz winner, who once again won the Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Trophy, less confounded by Sue’s quiz than the rest of us.

Look how much it means to him…

I was delighted and astounded in equal measure to win “The Hodd” this year, based on John Random’s eminently suitable (for me) spoof police interrogation quiz questions based on song lyrics. I believe that makes me the third holder of The Mike Hodd Memorial Trophy:

  • 2022: Hugh Ryecroft
  • 2023: John Random
  • 2024: Me.
…and look how much it means to me.

As with the Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Trophy, it is not possible to win twice in a row, as tradition insists that the winner sets the quiz the following year. I need to put my thinking cap on now to design that 2025 quiz.

For the second year in a row, I road-tested the Z/Yen seasonal quiz on the NewsRevue crowd, with predictably hilarious results.

Hugh Ryecroft, who knows a thing or two about quizzes in a professional capacity, was very complimentary about the quiz while being suitably puzzled by it.

If any reader fancies having a go at the 2024 Z/Yen seasonal quiz, then by all means use the pdf linked here (or the image below). If you e-mail your answers to me – e.g. through the Contact Us link, and if you leave your contact details, I’ll mark your homework and send it back to you.

Z/Yen Seasonal Event At Watermen’s Hall, 13 December 2024

I’ve got no photos from the event, so an image of my quiz will have to do. And an image of the song.

I have also written up the event for Now & Z/Yen – click here. As always, it was a good fun afternoon which rendered the rest of the day a write-off.

Angela & John’s Golden Wedding Anniversary, Their Place, 15 December 2024

Fifty years on

We had a most enjoyable afternoon at cousin Angela & John Kessler’s place, to help them celebrate their golden wedding anniversary. I wasn’t at the wedding itself 50 years ago, which was a very grown-up affair at the Dorchester, but I did attend the pre-nuptial aufruf…

End Term At Alleyn’s, A Big Moka & An Aufruf, 8 to 14 December 1974

…which, Angela and John reminded me, was at Stanmore shule and then at John’s mother’s place. I did experience the aftermath of Angela and John’s wedding vicariously, by experiencing a very grumpy mum and hungover dad the morning after the wedding, ahead of my own “Marathon-Man-like-trauma” that day:

After Alleyn’s Advent Term: Comic Capers, Jolly Japes, Marathon Mania, Tempos & Timpos, 15 to 21 December 1974

Anyway, fifty years later, I am apparently grown-up enough to attend an anniversary gathering. I can faithfully report that I did not try to fool anyone with joke shop sweets, nor did I set off any “stinkeroos”, during the 50th anniversary party. Proof positive, if proof were needed, that I have grown up a bit in the last 50 years.

Our table.

Our table comprised an eclectic mix of interesting people, including, to my left, two branches of the Aarons family, cousins of Angela’s from the other side of her family, who used to live in Woodfield Avenue across the road from us. It was lovely to catch up with them. To my right, friends of Angela & John’s whom they had known for many years, all of whom were very friendly and interesting folk.

Youngsters table, with Ed, Vivian, Andrew and the kids

It was a very enjoyable afternoon. Not only was it a lively and friendly gathering, with refreshingly short yet moving speeches, but the catering was seriously good too, thanks to Adam and his catering team (see below).

Adam leading his team by example

In my December 1974 diary, when “reviewing” the grub after the aufruf, I wrote:

Meal was excellent

A heck of a lot has changed in 50 years, but the phrase works just as well for the anniversary meal at John and Angela’s place.

Cousin Bethany & Jesse Pop In From Australia For Dinner At The Marquis Cornwallis, 18 December 2024

Bethany, Jesse & Me in The Marquis Cornwallis

On the other side of the family and from the other side of the world, a message, seemingly from a young woman, through Facebook, about a week ahead of the visit:

Hi! My dad tells me we are related. Dad said you might be able to tell me the family tree connection.

My first thought was that this must be one of those scams, quite possibly written by an old Nigerian man with a fake young female identity. But the face did look a tad familial and a quick check on Facebook traced Bethany to be Frederick Krasey’s daughter and Debbi Krasey’s niece.

As luck would have it, I was free on the one evening that made sense for Bethany and husband Jesse before they whizz off around Europe for many weeks.

They were staying in Bloomsbury, very close to where Fred stayed when I met him on his visit 10+ years ago.

Short notice for the Wednesday before Christmas is not ideal timing ahead of booking a decent place, but The Marquis Cornwallis, which I know of old from hanging around that part of town, is a good cross between gastro pub and good honest pub grub. It was the first place I tried and they took my booking.

It’s always a little strange meeting such relatives for the first time. In cousinhood terms, Bethany is my second cousin once removed, which sounds very far removed, but it puts her into exactly the same category as people like Mark & Hilary Briegal and/or Adam & Michael Green, whom I have known pretty well for sixty years.

Adam, Mark, Hilary (torturing Mark), Michael (laughing) & me (perplexed). 1964

Different generational/age shift on the Krasey side, obvs.

Anyway, it was a super evening with Bethany and Jesse, except for one mysterious absence. You see, Bethany has started a blog for their travels, which I joined once I knew I was to meet them in London:

Saying goodbye to our home of 7 years, as we head off for 4 months of travel!

In that blog piece, Bethany introduces their travelling companion, Yoshi.

Naturally, ahead of booking The Marquis, I asked whether Yoshi would be joining us for dinner and Bethany said:

Jesse wouldn’t go anywhere without Yoshi! And so, Yoshi will indeed be joining us on our night about town. 

So where was Yoshi that evening? Bethany and Jesse were strangely silent on the topic and I was too timid to ask. But on reflection, I think this is a mystery that simply must be solved. Otherwise we might have to get Interpol involved.

But apart from the unexplained absence of Yoshi, we had a very pleasant evening and hopefully will be able to see each other again, when the Roaming Duo return to Blighty in March.

Dedanists’ Society Seasonal Lunch At Lemonia, 19 December 2024

Despite the fact that I was to a large extent “seasonal-evented-out” by the time this event came around…and despite the fact that I am not really the “long-wet-lunch” type, there is something so very heart-warming and enjoyable about the Dedanists’ Society annual lunch, that I cannot now resist putting my name down for it as a seasonal must.

It is a gathering of the real tennis enthusiasts clan – about 35 of us gathered this year in that private room at Lemonia that works so very well for this event.

I noticed Jonathan Ellis-Miller taking a gazillion photographs this year, and I am sure that photograph taking is quite a regular thing. Yet the Dedanists’ Society website is utterly devoid of pictures from Lemonia lunches passim.

I briefed DeepAI as politely as I possibly could and it mustered the following image which, I must say, is not a bad attempt based on a dozen or so words:

DeepAI imagines a gathering of Dedanists in a Greek Restaurant

If Jonathan Ellis-Miller would care to provide a genuine photo, I can add a real photo of real tennis enthusiasts. But in any case I genuinely had a great time and sense that most if not all attendees did similarly.

Proving Einstein’s Theory Of Time Dilation & Stuff With The National Physical Laboratory At Horizon 22 In London, 15 March 2024

Michael is doing some scientific stuff as part of his Mayoral year, including a piece of work with the National Physical Laboratory (NPL) proving Einstein’s theory of time dilation by dint of measuring time at the top of the City of London’s tallest building (Horizon 22) and the NPL in Teddington.

Michael explained it in his inimitable style

I’ll let the propeller-headed NPL scientists explain it – click here.

The event on the evening of 15 March 2024 was an excuse for a drinks party to show off this experiment and more.

Janie came too and took loads of pictures.

Having dissed my Jackson Pollock tie at the Gresham do on the Monday, I wonder whether Bobbie would have approved of my Jackson Pollock shirt?

The weighty blob experiment confounds everyone, apparently.

Janie really liked the views.

Several Z/Yenistas and their friends/partners

It was a jolly evening. The time flew by, which is surely what Einstein would have predicted.

A Gloriously Quizzical Evening In The City, 27 September 2022

I don’t do much team quizzing.

Occasionally I make guest appearances, when invited by people who assume that I have an encyclopaedic mind for the types of information that oft come up in quiz questions. Such people usually end up disappointed and don’t invite me again. Here’s a link to an example of such a day/event.

But a Z/Yen charity quiz team is different, I suppose. The quizzing equivalent of cricket matches where I am an automatic pick for the team, not based on aptitude but because the game needs my bat and my ball.

Actually, over the years, for City Giving Day, the Z/Yen quiz team has come quite close a couple of times.

This year we went more than one better, contriving to win the event, not just against the other eleven teams at our venue, but even across all the venues in London. What a team.

I wrote this triumph up for the Z/Yen website. If you really want to know all about it – click here.

Z/Yen’s “FS Club 7” team: Me, Charlotte (c), Andrew, Juliet (mvp), Tyler & Libby. Six people in the team, but we sat at table seven. For older readers, the name is a pun on “S Club 7“, which was a popular music combo, I am reliably informed.

On the way out, I spotted a strange effigy which I photographed and wrote up for the King Cricket website:

A cricketing effigy in an unexpected place

If anything ever goes awry with King Cricket, you can read a scrape of that piece here.

Z/Yen Staff Christmas Lunch 2021 (Covid-Delayed), Watermen’s Hall, 11 February 2022

There was simply no way we were going to let a global pandemic totally ruin our Z/Yen staff Christmas gathering for two years.

OK, we had to do without completely at the end of 2020. OK, the Omicron wave made it impracticable to persevere with our original date – 17 December – in a week where everything else was also postponed or cancelled.

But we were determined that this would be a postponement, not a cancellation. Those fine people at Watermen’s Hall, together with the rather wonderful The Cook & The Butler people who do the catering there, came up trumps with an early opportunity for us to regroup in mid February.

They kept very quiet about their choice of menu ahead of the day, perhaps because it was full of nice surprises and treats, some of which might well have been late decisions.

More than just sound good, that five course meal tasted really good too, with excellent choices of wines to wash the food down.

We did almost everything we had planned for the original event, including our traditional Secret Santa. The picture above shows my table. The one below the other Z/Yen table, capturing the moment when Peter discovered that he had received the best Secret Santa ever – a massively extendable diagrammatic representation of the central part of the River Thames.

Given the setting of Watermen’s Hall, this present couldn’t be bettered and it did the rounds of the room several times.

The only problem with Peter’s Secret Santa present was that Juliet couldn’t contain her pleasure at how well the gift had gone down, exposing herself (as it were) as having been that particular Santa.

For some reason, by way of contrast, no-one has owned up to giving me a tin of Senior Moment Mints.

The picture below depicts Charlotte and Bikash chatting about their spoils while Michael addressed the assembled throng – a loyal toast I think.

There are a few other photos – you can view them all on Flickr if you click here.

One thing we chose not to do was sing the 2021 Z/Yen Christmas song. Linda did bring it along, as it had been all ready to go back in December 2021. But we chose not to proceed with singing it, as the entire meal had been changed and we can’t even “trail slothfully back to Lothbury” any more.

Still, I thought I should still publish the “unused canticle” for completists of my oeuvre to collect, debate and savour like connoisseurs, at their leisure, in the privacy of their own metaverses.

I think we drew the long straw with the February 2022 menu, personally.

After such an enjoyable meal and conversation, not wanting the afternoon to end, most of us retired to Jamies St Mary’s to continue the discussions over a few more quiet glasses – such is the City early evening on a Friday post-pandemic.

Did we solve any of the world’s problems? Well, you know what we Z/Yen folk are like. It might take a few weeks for the fruits of our discursive labours to come through, but watch that space.

A Hat Trick Of Seasonal Events, London Cricket Trust Dinner, Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner & Z/Yen Team Lunch, 11, 12 & 13 December 2019

It seems churlish to complain about too many nice events, but this particular week really did include a surfeit of them for me.

I had already enjoyed the Parasite evening at Curzon Mayfair…

Parasite by Bong Joon-hu, Film Preview & Panel Discussion, Curzon Mayfair, 9 December 2019

…and the Z/Yen 25th anniversary party at The Old Bailey…

25th Z/Yeniversary Alumni Function, The Old Bailey, 10 December 2019

…and it was still only Tuesday.

The three events described in this piece were the Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of the same week.

London Cricket Trust Dinner, Three Cranes, Wednesday 11 December 2019

Duncan Jenkinson, Andy Griffiths, Leshia Hawkins, some bloke in pink Middlesex kit photo-bombing our picture, Ivan Thomas and Me, 16 July 2019

No photos from this event, but the above photo and link is from one of the highlights of the London Cricket Trust’s year – A B de Villiers opening our Deptford Park facility in July.

We thought it would be a good idea to have a meal together after the Trustees meeting this time. We have been gathering now since 2017 planning non-turf pitch and net facilities for London’s parks, without ever breaking bread together…until this evening.

The Three Cranes location in the City worked well for me, giving me the opportunity to clear some work at the office (yes, believe it or not I did also do some work in this event-filled week) before the Trustees meeting at the Three Cranes, which was followed by the joyous meal and libations.

This evening was an excellent opportunity to all get to know each other a bit better. Not just we Trustees, but also the England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) people who have been working tirelessly on our intiiative (and participation cricket more generally), plus Ed Griffiths and his team who have been doing so much wonderful pro bono work on behalf of the LCT over the years.

One of many good thoughts that emerged from the evening is that we still haven’t actually watched any professional cricket together; we’re hoping to put that right during the 2020 season.

A very enjoyable evening.

Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner & Trophy Match, Spaghetti House Holborn, Thursday 12 December 2019

It’s been a big year for anniversaries. Not only the Z/Yen 25th (the alumni party for which is linked again here and at the very start of this “hat trick” piece)…

…but also the 40th anniversary of NewsRevue, which had its alumni event during the summer:

NewsRevue 40th Anniversary Party, Show & Smoker, Canal Cafe Theatre, 18 August 2019

One NewsRevue alum who, sadly, only just made it a few months beyond the 20th anniverary of that show was Ivan Shakespeare. We “Class Of ’92” types who were NewsRevue contemporaries of Ivan meet on an irregular occasional basis, three or four times a year, to keep in touch with each other, eat, trade jokes, share bizarre quizzes and also to remember Ivan. We’ve been doing that since mid 2000, a few months after Ivan died.

In the seasonal version of our gathering, the stakes increase markedly and we play one of the quizzes for The Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Trophy. I am proud to be the donor of the original Memorial Trophy, which was first contested in 2002, about 18 months after the dinners started.

It’s a bit like The Ashes, but for comedy writers rather than for cricketers.

Much like The Ashes, the trophy is a thing of exquisite gimcrackness; it’s absence of taste simply has to be seen to be believed:

Observant readers will see that I won that trophy once; in 2004
Some real names from the world of quizzing on there: Hugh Ryecroft for one, Barry Grossman being another.

The problem is, unlike The Ashes, the trophy is inscribed with the winner’s name each year…

…and the original trophy is running out of sensible places for the embazoning of the winner’s name…

…OK, there never were sensible places for the emblazoning, but now we are even running out of silly places to inscribe.

The solution: a new trophy. Acquired through the sort of tenacity that only Graham Robertson could possibly deploy – an eBay purchase which he needed to make twice because the first eBay vendor of tasteless out-of-date royal gimcrack merchandise took Graham’s money and did a runner.

The assembled alums at our new spiritual venue, The Spaghetti House in Holborn, decreed that Mark Keegan, who won the original trophy three times, should become “steward-for-life” of the original trophy.

Mark Keegan, delighted with his original trophy. Graham Robertson looks on, enviously.
Barry Grossman shows off the new trophy…
…then wears one for the team by winning the new trophy this year

As usual I came quite close but no cigar for me in the trophy stakes since 2004. Barry Grossman scooped the glittering prize this year – with sincere commiserations to Barry – he could have been an also-ran, but instead…

It wasn’t all quizzes and trophies; oh no, no, no, no, no, no no. There was plenty of time for eating, drinking, topical humour and some sense-of-irony-sapping politics on what was, after all, an election night.

Moving swiftly on from the will-to-live-depleting topics back to the humour section, John Random produced another set of personalised Christmas crackers this year, based on the BBC Radio 4 programme In Our Time with Melvyn Bragg.

My cracker contained a note posing the intriguing question:

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

Frankly, I had no idea and would gladly have said, “no idea”, but for the answer provided, which instead said, in Braggian tones:

With me to discuss what you call a deer with no eyes, I have Ian Harris, Professor of Mammalian Opthalmology at Gresham College and author of In Darkness Let me Dwell – and Professor Jonny Hurst from the University of Manchester, author of Champagne Super Over: Oasis In Popular Culture.

There is sort-of a tradition in recent years for at least one person’s order to go horribly wrong at the festive dinner. This year it Barry Grossman who suffered the indignity of being brought his main at starter time and a starter-sized portion of his chosen main at main course time. The nice waiter did his best to sort things out.

Ironically, Barry went on to win the quiz, as did Jonny Hurst in 2017 when it was his turn to be the brunt of the ritual service humiliation – in those days at Cafe Rogues in Holborn not far from the scene of this year’s crime. That year, 2017, John Random’s personalised crackers had been based on the Moral Maze. He likes his thinky-Radio-4 programmes, does our John.

Anyway, the night of 12 December 2019 will surely be remembered as a great night for NewsRevue alums…and Tories…ironically.

Z/Yen Seasonal Lunch, The Old Bailey, Friday 13 December 2019

Z/Yen team gathered in the Alderman & Sheriff’s apartment

In the world of crime fiction, criminals have a regular, unfortunate tendancy; returning to the scene of the crime. Whether that is true in the real world or not I have no idea. Nor do I have the faintest idea what that point might have to do with this section of this piece.

Anyway, just three days after the Z/Yen Alumni function at The Old Bailey, the current Z/Yen team regrouped in that astonishing building for the staff seasonal lunch.

On this occasion we found ourselves in the smaller function room, used daily for the judges pre-luncheon drinks, after enjoying our pre-lunch drinks in Michael and Elisabeth’s apartment. Once again Sean, their footman, proved his skills as a photographer – thanks Sean.

The meal was a very good one; smoked trout fillet, followed by a posh duck dish, followed by an apple tart-like desert.

The wines tasted suspiciously like those excellent wines we’d enjoyed earlier in the week and seemed suspiciously well food-matched for the lunch, thanks to the combined skills of Gordon Clunie and (in all modesty) me.

Linda produced one of her fiendish seasonal quizzes – let’s not even talk about how badly Simon Mills and I did as a so-called team on that one.

Secret Santa visited (I got some baritone ukulele strings) and Santa also brought everyone a small box of super posh chocolates.

Then the traditional Z/Yen seasonal sing song. Being exceptionally woke for a boomer, I again recycled a previous effort this year, cunningly adding a topical reference ensuring that no-one would realise that it was recycled…

…unless they looked at the copyright years and/or version numbers and/or read this piece. Here is the 2019 version of The 12 Days Of Z/Yen Training. Excellent, was the performance, especially the “Five Forces” motif, which brought tears to my eyes each time around.

It is a fascinating musical phenomenon that this particular song works in so many different keys: C, C#, B, D, D#, A, E, G#, G, F & F#…all at the same time…at least, it did that afternoon.

After the formalities, plenty of informalities with some additional quizzing, singing, chatting and libations until it was chucking out time at The Old Bailey.

Chucking out time at The Old Bailey on a Friday afternoon works remarkably quickly and effectively:

You are welcome to stay on downstairs if you wish…but no-one will be here with the keys to your cell until Monday morning…

…everyone scarpers sharpish at that juncture.

Some ventured on for more libations at a local hostelry, but after five events in five days, all I could think about was getting home and lying down for a good few hours.

25th Z/Yeniversary Alumni Function, The Old Bailey, 10 December 2019

Put out the bunting! Charge the wine glasses. Z/Yen is 25 years old.

Can it really be that long since I formed Z/Yen with a small group of reprobates, not least Michael Mainelli? Yes.

Naturally the event has been reported in Now & Z/Yen, the company’s occasional newsletter/blog, (also now aged 25 and counting), click here for that report.

Preparations for the alumni do started some months before the event. Not least, the creation of a gimcrack exhibition worthy of the Victoria & Albert museum:

An early, experimental attempt some days before the event

Given the sizeable quantities of stock remaining for some Z/Yen gimcrack artefacts, we decided that the alums “deserved” goody bags on leaving this event.

Oh goody

Janie and I got to the location in good time, mostly because I deliberately over-estimated the journey duration for Janie’s benefit.

I showed Janie 20 old Bailey, where Michael and I worked prior to Z/Yen, plus the front of The Old Bailey. Somewhat ominously, 20 old Bailey is now home to Barings Bank & Metro Bank, among others.

While Janie and I were sightseeing outside the building, Linda Cook was busy adding a celebratory touch by putting out bunting based on a very early Z/Yen photo of me, Michael, Steve Taylor and Kate Carty (latterly Kate Taylor) – see headline picture and detail picture below.

I’m a little concerned on Linda’s behalf that the bunting (as seen in the headline picture) seems to be overhanging the portrait of Her Maj a little. There might well be a by-law in The Old Bailey that such disrespect to the monarch constitutes high treason and all that such a crime entrails…I mean, entails.

Joking apart, Michael gave those of us who chose to arrive early a fascinating, but at times somewhat grizzly, history talk about and tour around The Old Bailey.

Aldermansplaining The Old Bailey

Photos are not permitted on the tour. We sat in Court One for much of the talk. Elisabeth sat in the dock, while Janie and I sat in the jury seats. We found Elisabeth guilty on the grounds of looking a bit nervous in the dock…but then who wouldn’t with me and Janie beaming at them from the jury seats?

We also saw Court Six and the very grand main lobby. There is one place on the staircase where photos are permitted. Sean (Michael’s shrieval footman) turns out to be a dab hand at photography and kindly took the following:

By the time we tourists returned to the judges dining room to join the rest of the function, another twenty or so guests had arrived, so the party went into full swing…

…such full swing that Linda and Janie stopped taking photos, so you’ll simply have to imagine the drinks, canapes, bowls of yummy food and revelry.

In the run up to the event, I had been Ogblogging like fury, generating a three-part chronicle of Z/Yen’s conception and birth. Michael and I delivered a brief summary of that chronicle as a double-act on the night – click here for the pdf.

If you want to read the full three-parter, try the links within the pdf or the block links below:

Þe Chronique Of Primordyall Z/Yen: Þe First Part – Sumer Is Icomen In, Spring 1994
Þe Chronique Of Primordyall Z/Yen: Þe Second Part: Mirie It Is While Sumer Ilast, Summer 1994
Þe Chronique Of Primordyall Z/Yen: Þe Third Part: Windes Blast & Weder, Autumn 1994

I also sang the very first Z/Yen song, with the help of the assembled staff and alums who acted as the choir. Click here for a pdf of the lyric.

After that brief interlude, we all returned to eating, drinking and making merry.

It was a really enjoyable event, not least because it was such a well-organised event at such an interesting venue, but more particularly because it was so lovely to see so many Z/Yen folk past and present, all assembled and enjoying spending time together. Moved, I was.

Z/Yen Seasonal Lunch And Brawl, Guildhall, 14 December 2018

We had a fine lunchtime meal as our Z/Yen seasonal works outing this year, in the Guildhall. The meal is described in detail on the menu above.

I personally went for the tempura of cod followed by goose and cheesecake – all was delicious. I wouldn’t make this point on Now & Z/Yen, but on my own blog I feel able to say that:

Tempura of Atlantic cod with garden pea puree and lemon grass drizzle

…is just a posh way of saying “fried cod & mushy peas”. Very tasty, it was.

So how and why did this festive occasion end up as a brawl? You’ll need to read my Now & Z/Yen write up of the event to ascertain that – click here.

Or, if by any chance something happens to the Z/Yen website to prevent you from reading the above, the text of that article is scraped to here.

Anyway, if you want to jump to the punchline unexplained, click the YouTube link below – especially 2’45” onwards, which illustrates the sort of thing we did, although we did it for ourselves:

Here’s the lyric I wrote to enlighten our proceedings::

EXTZY 2018 VERSION

(Sung to the tune of “Ding Dong Merrily On High”…or more accurately “Branle de l’Official”)

Buy/sell merrily at Z/Yen,
In market games we’re trading;
Buy/sell heavily, you ken,
Z/Yen coffers we are raiding.

ExtZy,
For prizes or donations;
ExtZy,
For prizes or donations.

This lark isn’t just a game,
We’re Z/Yen Communitizing;
Building membership’s our aim,
And benchmark analyzing.

ExtZy,
For prizes or donations;
ExtZy,
For prizes or donations.

Play through Avatars we’ve made,
Z/Yen peoples’ role as ringers;
Let’s just hope that when we trade,
We’re better play’rs than singers.

ExtZy,
For prizes or donations;
ExtZy,
For prizes or donations.

It is extraordinary how, when I was planning this year’s Z/Yen festive singing, all roads led back to my early music teacher, Ian Pittaway, really quite by chance. The Now & Z/Yen piece doth explain.

Rest assured, a fine time was had by all and that, despite our brawl in the Guildhall, we would be welcomed back there.

Z/Yen Seasonal Lunch And Outing, Watermen’s Hall & The Cinema Museum, 15 December 2017

Z/Yen returned to the scene of last year’s “crime” to take our seasonal team repast at Watermen’s Hall again.

Last year the Ogblog report of the event was combined with a couple of other events of mine. If you want to compare, you can read all about the 2016 happenings by clicking here or through the link below:

Three Seasonal Events In Four Days, 13 to 16 December 2016

There was a very enjoyable pre-lunch Champagne reception, as last year, with everyone who is dining at Watermen’s having a chance to mingle. This year, coincidentally, one of the guests (at one of the other tables) is Kit, who lives in Janie’s former street and is an old friend of ours – small world, eh?

But soon we move on to the five course meal. The menu will be revealed along with this year’s song lyric further down this piece.

The main course, the goose, shown below, was the third course.

Our goose was cooked this year

I sat opposite Shivangee, who politely told me that i have been pronouncing her name wrong all the while. She looks surprisingly perky in the following picture given those circumstances:

Shivangee looks happy while pepping up the veggie option

We swapped rural India stories and I promised her I’d link her through to the most bizarre thing that ever happened to me in that part – here and below is that link:

The Day I Was Press-ganged Into Becoming A Live Cricket Commentator, Jagdalpur, 6 February 2011

But if Shivangee thought that I could talk plenty over lunch, she was soon to meet a real pro in the commissionaire at the Cinema Museum – more on him later.

In fact there is a very jolly, convivial, chatty atmosphere at Watermen’s. The alcohol flows lavishly through the courses, with a very interesting white port aperitif, white wine, red wine and the more familiar ruby port at the end of the meal.

Lunch.

To the left of me – Linda seems to be holding court…

…to the right of me, is Elisabeth in full flow, or is she literally chewing the fat?

With all of those courses, a room full of dinners and an appointment at the Cinema Museum to get to, we broke with tradition and decided to sing the Z/Yen Christmas song at the Cinema Museum instead.

But before that, secret Santa was a must at table. I was given some pencils with negatively-motivational messages on them. Is someone (Santa) trying to tell me something?

The Z/Yen staff also each got a Raucherman – one of those artefacts that you didn’t know existed until you were given one, then you realise that your life has previously had less meaning and that now, with your Raucherman, you are that much closer to being fulfilled.

We arrived at the Cinema Museum some while after the originally appointed hour, but still were asked to wait a while so that the head honcho, Martin, might address us (and take our money) before handing us over to commissionaire Maurice, who told us all about it and more besides.

So while waiting, we sang the Z/yen Christmas song.  A delightful Egyptian lady, Meena, was joining our tour and joined us in song as best she could:

WATERMEN AND LIGHTERMEN AND Z/YEN – 2017 Version

(A seasonal song to the tune of “Winter Wonderland”)

VERSES ONE AND TWO

Parsnip soup, fit for galleons,

Salmon soused, in medallions;

We’ll eat Christmas lunch, Z/Yen Group as a bunch;

Watch us put on weight at Watermen’s.

At the start, we’ll be perky,

By the end, stuffed like turkey;

Five courses of nosh, all terribly posh;

Watch us put on weight at Watermen’s.

 

MIDDLE EIGHT

After eating goose with Christmas trimmings,

We’ll tuck in to Perouche cheese with pear;

After Christmas pud, you must be kidding,

With rum sauce that could be a warning flare.

 

VERSE THREE

Then in Lambeth you’ll see ‘em,

Tour the cinema museum;

The Z/Yen team en masse, with guts full of gas;

Walking off their lunch from Watermen’s.

(RISING/ROUSING FINALE): Let’s hope walking makes us Lightermen!

 

Z/Yen Group 2017 Christmas Lunch at Watermen’s Hall

(The Company of Watermen and Lightermen)

Menu

  • Parsnip & Chestnut Soup
  • Medallion of Scottish Salmon, Champagne Sauce
  • Roast Breast of Goose & Confit of Leg, Tarragon & Ginger Crust, Red Currant Jus, Chateau Potatoes, Sugar Snap Braised Red Cabbage Broccoli & Baby Carrots
  • The Cook & The Butler World Famous Traditional Christmas Pudding, Christmas Pudding Ice Cream, Oranges in Caramelised Oranges, Rum Sauce
  • Yule Log of Perouche Cheese with Pear

No it is not the same song as last year – totally different.

Totally. It’s a different menu for a start.

Once we were in the extremely talkative and capable hands of commissionaire Maurice, we were soon singing again – this time the ABC Minors Club Song.

Commissionaire Maurice gets us singing and thinking about old cinemas

The big thing about that site for the Cinema Museum is that it is the site of a workhouse in which Charlie Chaplin lived briefly as a kid. Sadly the site is being sold and the museum is at risk, unless its joint bid with the Peabody Estate sees off the hard-nosed commercial interest in the site.

There is an on-line petition – click here to find it.

Talking for Britain – don’t mention Brief Encounter to Maurice

It was a quirky tour but very interesting. I remember some of those old cinemas, not least the ABC in Streatham Hill, the Odeon a bit nearer Streatham proper  and the Granada across the road from dad’s shop on St John’s Hill. Linda remembered similar from her youth. Maxine and her friend, who came along just for the tour, must have wondered what on earth Maurice was talking about half the time.

A few of us retired to the Old Red Lion in Kennington for a drink and a chat after the tour. James Pitcher proved very good at asking and Alexandra proved very good at answering pub quiz type questions such as “which two tube stations have all the vowels in their names” and “which tube station has six consonants in a row in its name?”. We spent quite some time trying to solve the mystery of the beautiful film starlet whose picture we couldn’t identify. James “phoned a friend” who rather brilliantly responded Pier Angeli rapidly and correctly. Respect.

We drew the line at playing the truth game and at that juncture decided to draw stumps on a hugely enjoyable Z/Yen Christmas event.

Z/Yen Team Outing To See Middlesex Hammered By Hampshire At Lord’s, 3 August 2017

Lord’s Resplendent Early Evening, Photograph by Alexandra Karathodorou

For several years, the traditional fixture for the annual Z/Yen visit to Lord’s has been a Middlesex v Surrey match, ever since the Z/Yen Awayday during which Garry Sobers watched the Z/Yen team play cricket – click here for that story; most years the T20 game.

But this year, several key people were unavailable for the Middlesex v Surrey T20 fixture whereas, unusually, most people were available on 3 August for the Middlesex v Hampshire game.

Our Z/Yen contingent contained representatives from across the globe, ranging from “home of cricket” places such as India and Middlesex, through moderately-cricketing places such as Nepal to places where cricket is a rarity, such as the USA, Greece, Germany and Surrey. (I couldn’t help myself).

On this occasion, pretty much everyone got behind Middlesex (why not) although Linda, with her Southampton F.C. connection, felt torn between the two sides.

But we had to forgive Linda, because she had brought the food. Loads of it. Following the success of Xueyi’s Chinese picnic choices last year, Linda had returned to Xueyi’s recommended place and mostly stocked up with delicious Chinese nibbles.

Linda Likes Her Food Choices, Photograph By Alexandra Karathodorou

There was a good crowd at the match and a very jolly atmosphere. Unlike last year’s good close match, Middlesex, a depleted side by this stage of the tournament this year, didn’t put up much of a fight – click here for scorecard.

Possibly the most interesting moment on the field of play was towards the end, when a fox invaded the pitch. How it got through Lord’s security without a ticket and (worse) entered a hallowed part of Lord’s inappropriately attired is anybody’s guess.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oZEeLJ7ELI

Z/Yen At Lord’s Under Lights, Photograph By Alexandra Karathodorou

But in many ways these outings are as much about being convivial team picnic outings as they are about the cricket. The weather smiled on us; a mixture of sun and clouds, but no rain. The Lord’s experience is always charming and special – and because we chose to come a bit later in the season than usual, Z/Yen people got to see Lord’s properly under lights when it got dark, which is differently special.

Three Seasonal Events In Four Days, 13 to 16 December 2016

First Of Three: Brian Eno Singsong and Party, Brian’s Studio, Tuesday 13 December 2016

The first of my “three dos in four days” was at Brian Eno’s place – I have been invited to such dos on several occasions now, often but not always at this time of year. I have known Brian from the health club (BodyWorksWest, formerly known as Lambton Place) for quarter of a century or more.

The party is combined with Brian’s a capella choir gathering, allowing neophytes and bathroom singers like me to have an occasional go.

I thought I arrived in quite good time on this occasion, but the singing was well underway when I arrived; the regulars presumably having made a punctual early start.

The songs chosen were quite relentlessly morbid at first. There is usually a fair bit of spiritual blues material, but this set seemed especially bleak, with unfortunate folk being hanged for crimes they didn’t commit and all sorts. It wasn’t too difficult to pick up on the tunes quickly enough – I suppose that’s why they choose this material for the more open sing-song, but it didn’t feel much like party music at first.

The last couple of numbers were a bit more lively – not least All I Have To Do Is Dream at the end, sung in a doo-wap style. It helped me that I was standing next to a couple of very able, presumably professional singers, upon whose rhythms and harmonies I could latch. A few people afterwards asked me if I was a professional singer, but I’m sure they must have been hearing the sound emanating from those guys, not me.

Brian said that he couldn’t hear me this time, which is a good sign; presumably therefore an improvement on last time. But perhaps he also was deceived by my co-location with the professional-sounding guys.

Anyway, as on previous occasions, I also found the rest of the party great fun, meeting and chatting with several very interesting people. I also danced a bit to some excellent party mix music, well designed for the purpose (mostly 1970’s dance, with some earlier and later stuff thrown in).

I didn’t stick around until too late – I had a scheduled client call quite early the next day – so (as on every previous occasion) I missed the blood, guts, ambulances and police cars stage of the party. Brian subsequently told me that the emergency services stage failed to occur this time, to his intense disappointment.

Second Of Three: Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, Café Rouge Holborn, 15 December 2016

Since around the turn of the century, when fellow NewsRevue writer, Ivan Shakespeare, tragically keeled over and died while jogging, several of us have gathered a few times each year to keep in touch and reminisce about our NewsRevue days. Just before his death, Ivan e-mailed a few of us suggesting that we should regroup for that purpose, but never lived to see his idea to fruition.

Quite early in the life of this occasional gathering, it became part of our tradition to play a comedic quiz or two towards the end of the evening. I think it was John Random who initiated that idea, but several other people, occasionally contribute a quiz. Gerry Goddin latterly contributes a variant in which we all have to try to write jokes on suggested themes and Gerry allocates points (or deducts points) based on how well the jokes go down, his perception of each joke’s quality and/or Gerry’s authoritarian whim.

For the December gathering in 2002 (I’ll get around to Ogblogging it in the fullness of time no doubt) I went into a local tourist gimcrack store and bought the cheapest, tackiest piece of porcelain royal memorabilia I could find; then I emblazoned it with a legend declaring it to be the Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Trophy. Since 2002, that trophy has been played for earnestly each year. Nine different people have held the trophy over the years; I am proud to be able to state that I was the 2004 winner.

Anyway, it seems to be getting harder and harder to find a venue that operates flexibly enough for a rather haphazard bunch of former (and in some cases current) comedy writers to gather in mid December. Café Rouge Holborn has become the regular venue for the past few visits, but it seems they tried to impose a Christmas season “pre-ordering” regime on us, which was somewhat beyond the capabilities of John Random’s organising and our ability to be organised by anyone or anything.

So, half-a-dozen or so of us had pre-ordered and Café Rouge assumed that there would only be half-a-dozen of us (despite John booking the table for 10); which proved problematic once the eighth and especially ninth person showed up.

To be fair the staff tried their best in what seemed to be chaotic circumstances and did relocate us to a table for 10 quite quickly.

But poor Jonny Hurst ended up waiting for best part of an hour before any food was brought to him at all, at which point a starter and two main courses all turned up at once. I was half-hoping that Jonny would say, “do you know who I am? I’m Jonny Hurst, the chant laureate, that’s who”. Jonny might even have been forgiven for “doing a Jeremy Clarkson”…but Jonny is far too mild mannered and polite for any of that, even when he has a real hunger-on and everyone around him is tucking in.  Respect.

Eventually we played the quizzes. Colin Stutt offered a small quiz to warm us up, but the main quiz, for the trophy, was a very imaginative effort from John Random which comprised 10 maps, each of which had a location marked with a year. We had to name the movie that was made in that year set in that place.

I was pleased with my 7 out of 11 (one map had two years and therefore two movies and two points) but Mark Keegan pipped a couple of us 7-istas with 8 out of 11 to claim the trophy yet again – his fourth victory in 15 years. Respect.

Gerry Goddin ended the evening with one of his joke-fest games with some especially harsh marking  and the predictable result that Barry Grossman’s jokes pleased him more than anyone else’s – it is nearly always Barry who wins, very occasionally me.

A most enjoyable evening.

Third Of Three: Z/Yen Group Christmas Lunch at Watermen’s Hall, 16 December 2016

For the first time in Z/Yen’s 23 Christmases, we decided to do Christmas lunch rather than dinner this year.

Linda and Michael conspired to find a five course extravaganza of a lunch at Watermen’s Hall, which seemed just the ticket in the circumstances. It’s a comparatively intimate and relaxed atmosphere for a guild’s hall; but now that Z/Yen is that much smaller, our group wouldn’t completely dominate the room.

Michael pipped me an e-mail the previous weekend to ask if I would write one of the traditional Z/Yen singalong songs – normally but not absolutely always my gig.

(Previous Z/Yen Christmas events and songs will be Ogblogged in the fullness of time).

Anyway, the sight of the five course menu and the name of the Company that resides at Waterman’s Hall inspired a simple but effective song to the tune of Winter Wonderland – click here or below for a YouTube with Bing and lyrics.

But before exercising our lungs, we ate the following excellent five course meal, washed down with some fine wine and (for some, not me) port.

Z/Yen Group 2016 Christmas Lunch at Watermen’s Hall

(The Company of Watermen and Lightermen)

Menu

Torched mackerel, pickled and salt baked beetroot, horseradish crème fraiche

Smoked ham hock and chicken terrine, pickled apricots, watercress salad

Butter roasted Norfolk turkey, sage and apricot stuffing, bacon wrapped sausages, brussels sprout choucroute with chestnuts

Star anise poached pear, almond crumb, whipped clotted cream

Christmas pudding, brandy sauce

Michael kept me and Xueyi talking about GeoGnomo for a fair chunk of the meal, but otherwise we managed to steer clear of work chat.

Michael was also keen not to torture too many people with our song, but once there were only a few stragglers left (apart from we Z/Yen folk) we found a surprisingly receptive audience; indeed those Watermen and Lightermen joined in the singing with us, rounding off a fine afternoon.

♬ WATERMEN AND LIGHTERMEN AND Z/YEN ♬

( A seasonal song to the tune of ♬”Winter Wonderland” ♬)

VERSES ONE AND TWO

Mackerel torched, beetroot pickled,

Ham terrine, we’ll be tickled;

We’ll eat Christmas lunch, Z/Yen Group as a bunch;

Watch us put on weight at Watermen’s.

At the start, we’ll be perky,

By the end, stuffed like turkey;

Five courses of nosh, all terribly posh;

Watch us put on weight at Watermen’s.

MIDDLE EIGHT

After eating turkey laced with trimmings,

We’ll tuck in to star anise poached pear;

Christmas pud as well, you must be kidding,

The brandy sauce could be a warning flare.

VERSE THREE

Head for home, very slothfully,

On the trail back to Lothbury;

Let’s hope that we scoff…ing walk our waists off;

Walking all the way from Watermen’s.

(RISING/ROUSING FINALE): Let’s hope walking makes us Lightermen!