Tag: Z/Yen

Z/Yen Christmas Dinner At Caldesi, 10 December 1998

Photo: Mike Quinn / Caffè Caldesi, Marylebone Lane, W1

I remember this Z/Yen Christmas event being an especially good meal. We were depleted in numbers that year for some reason – I think one or two illnesses – so Kim & Micky joined us as guests rather than allow paid-for dinners go to waste.

I wrote up the event for the Now & Z/Yen newsletter, which survives on-line despite several deportations in the intervening 25 years – click here.

Just in case a future deportation upsets the above link, here is a scrape of that page. And just in case you don’t like clicking, here is the raw text I wrote in 1998 that became the relevant paragraph on that page:

Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
[xmassy picture]
The annual Z/Yen Christmas stuffing took place at Caldesi, our favourite Tuscan restaurant. Z/Yen staff bravely fought their way through six courses, including Jane Beazley’s birthday cake, as well as through one badly mangled Christmas carol, to the tune of “D-Mark! Z/Yen Angels Sing”. Contrary to our seasonal hopes, the heavens did not flood the party with D-Marks (current currency of choice in the run-up to the Euro, as recommended by one self-interested wife), nor were angels or singing much in evidence. A great time was had by all and huge relief sighed by the restaurant staff when they realised that Z/Yen people were not going to conduct quantum physics experiments on their fibre optic Christmas tree.

I particularly like the reference to quantum physics experiments, especially as, 25 years later, we really were conducting quantum physics experiments (specifically Einstein’s two clock time dilation relativity experiment using NPL nano-clocks), rather than writing about quantum cryptography , some apparatus from such experiments was on the site of our 2023 Christmas lunch.

The Now & Z/Yen write up also refers to Michael’s attempt at a seasonal lyric – this 1998 one was his first for Z/Yen. Let’s just hypothesise that Michael is better at quantum physics than he is at song lyrics. Evidence below:

D-MARKS! Z/YEN ANGELS SING
(Sung to the tune of “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” or “Gloria in Excelsis Deo” in the Mariah Carey style)

“D-Marks!”, Z/Yen angels sing

Glory to the Euro thing

Peace in Europe, markets wild

Blair and Schroder reconciled

Joyful all recessions rise
Join the Bank of England’s sighs
With Zeee/Yen consultants claim
Markets are in may-eh-hem

“D-Marks!”, Z/Yen angels sing
Glory to the Euro thing

Glo….oh….oh…oh…oh….ohria

In consultants’ fee-eees
Glo….oh….oh…oh…oh….ohria

In consultants’ fee-eee-eees

Z/Yen by highest fees adored

Z/Yen for those who can afford

Late in time, does Ian come

Often late, the favoured one

Z/Yen, so fresh the clients see

Hail, the astronomical fees

Pleased as gods with men to dwell

Z/Yen as blasphemous as hell

“D-Marks!”, Z/Yen angels sing
Glory to the Euro thing

Glo….oh….oh…oh…oh….ohria

In consultants’ fee-eees
Glo….oh….oh…oh…oh….ohria

In consultants’ fee-eee-eees

The Very Second Z/Yen Charity Cricket Match – The First With The Children’s Society, 25 August 1998

We returned to the scene of the first Z/Yen charity cricket match, which had taken place just a few week’s earlier…

The Very First Z/Yen Charity Cricket Match, Barnardo’s, 22 July 1998

…again to play with Barnardo’s, but this time also with The Children’s Society.

I know that Ian Theodoreson and Bob Harvey gave us and their Barnardo’s charges every encouragement to make these evenings happen, but I have a feeling that neither of them made it to either evening.

Anyway, it was a very jolly evening and a great chance for people to get to know each other as well as mess around a bit playing cricket.

Not only did Barnardo’s still supply a bunch of dudes who knew what they were doing – see photo above…

…The Children’s Society was also blessed with some half-decent cricketers, including Chief Executive and glove man Ian Sparks:

Ian Sparks on gloves, Harish Gohil at bat; presumably this was warming up pre contest
Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett – starting as he meant to go on

I can’t remember in detail the playing conditions we came up with for this particular evening, but sort-of having three teams in an after work round robin in August was never going to work brilliantly as matches. I have a feeling we played sort-of eight a side with additional supply fielders from the sides that weren’t batting.

No slide rule – but the Barnardo’s score book and my own trusty light meter
Reservoir Dogs but without the ultraviolence? Kevin Parker (striding, front left), Rupert Stubbs (hatted, central), Michael Mainelli (arms folded in disgust, right).
Spot the ball (obviously going uppishly to backward square leg, that’s me batting)
Mainelli looks relieved to have been dismissed.

I still think the whole idea had started with Kevin Parker and some of the Barnardo’s team he was working with – I wonder if I can extract a confession from him.

Kevin probably doesn’t realise quite what a Z/Yen tradition he kicked off. Kevin was long gone by the time Garry Sobers came to watch us play, for example…

The Day Garfield Sobers Watched Me & Z/Yen Play Cricket, Lord’s, 30 June 2009

…but I digress.

We had a lot of fun with the Barnardo’s and Children Society folk in that summer of 1998.

Below is a link to all the pictures from both of the 1998 matches:

Cricket_1998 (1)

The Very First Z/Yen Charity Cricket Match, Barnardo’s, 22 July 1998

Quintessential Harris shot, late 1990s: the uppish leg-side hoick

Between 1984 and 1998 I pretty much didn’t play cricket at all. Perhaps the odd knock around when I was in my mid twenties, then there were the dog years of the early 1990s following my catastrophic back injury in the summer of 1990. After that, my cricket “career” was limited to a bit of watching and the odd umpiring stint…

…until the summer of 1998.

That summer, Z/Yen was still doing work with Barnardo’s and had also by then got heavily involved with The Children’s Society. Thus it transpired that our main client contacts, especially at the latter, were keen cricketers.

But the initial challenge came from Barnardo’s and I think it was Kevin Parker who initially picked up the challenge. The idea was promulgated with the blessing of Barnardo’s senior folk, Ian Theodoreson and Bob Harvey, but sadly not their presence.

So like buses, no cricket for years and then two matches came along in a row. The first of them was just Z/Yen and Barnardo’s.

Z/Yen – a tiny company with about 10 employees in those days. Barnardo’s employed several thousand people, a great many of whom worked at the Barkingside campus.

Barnardo’s had quite a lot of people who knew what they were doing for a cricket match…

One of the Barnardo’s IT team, if I recall correctly

…whereas Z/Yen didn’t. I press-ganged a few likely folk and we tried our best against adversity, but adversity…by which I mean Barnardo’s…were destined to win.

By the time we got to this first match, I think that the plans for a second match, which ended up including people from The Children’s Society, were already in place, so I think we all saw this first one as a bit of a warm up.

But Micky’s one and only experience of cricket had very little to do with warm up. Micky is from Belgium and fancied having a go. He’s that sort of “have a go” chap. Back in 1998, he wasn’t exactly displacing a queue of Z/Yen people who wanted to play…

…let’s be honest about this, we were struggling to get a team together; hence the cunning plan to bring in The Children’s Society enthusiasts for the next one.

I look on this match as being an early example of me encouraging diversity and increasing cricket participation in London’s Parks…

…anyway, Micky turned up and tried to look the part:

Which way round should I hold this bat?

We fielded first.

Not having learnt from my own experience grazing in the long grass 16 years earlier in a Keele Festival Week match…

“Got Roped In To Playing Cricket All Afternoon”, Gentlemen v Players Cricket Match, Keele Festival Week, 24 June 1982

…I thought Micky might be safest patrolling the boundary.

But Micky did no warming up or keeping warm exercise ahead of the ball coming vaguely in his direction about 20-30 minutes into the match. He set off enthusiastically around the outfield only to pull up with a hamstring tear some 10 yards shy of the ball.

So when it was Z/Yen’s turn to bat, we not only had to explain the way batting works to Micky, we also had to provide him with a runner and explain how that arcane aspect of the laws of cricket works too.

Not ideal.

Yet still a good time was being had by all.

My other very clear memory is my own experience batting in partnership with a gentleman named Nigel. He was Karen Moore’s partner or husband, so qualified to play for Z/Yen on those grounds. He might otherwise have seemed like a ringer.

Nigel was no cricketer but he was a fitness instructor and had a Mr Motivator manner and clearly was a talented all-round sportsman.

I was scratching away, barely able to put bat on ball…

…well I hadn’t played for 14 years or so…

…until Nigel came to the crease, only to start whacking the ball using just hand-eye and natural talent.

Come on Ian, you can do it…

…Nigel hollered encouragingly and convincingly from the non-strikers end. And strangely, feeding off Nigel’s ill-founded confidence in me and the freedom that added to my game, I started to score some runs and contribute well to our partnership.

OK, we couldn’t turn the game around, but we had a decent knock – perhaps I put on 10-12 – which I remember making me feel well chuffed.

I think the match took place near Barkingside – I think Fairlop – perhaps Old Parkonians – my diary is silent on detail.

Postscript: my memory has served me well. I wrote this up for Now & Z/Yen at the time thusly:

The Sound Of Leather On Willow

Z/Yen defied all the spread bets by coming a close second in a cricket competition in late July, against Barnardo’s, at Fairlop. Z/Yen highlights included Jane Beazley taking a wicket, Michael Mainelli scoring 16 runs “baseball style”, Michel Einhorn pulling a hamstring and a stunning undefeated partnership of 36 runs in three overs between Ian Harris and Nigel Moore.

None of these stunts were enough to prevent Barnardo’s from deservedly winning by 23 runs. Unlike our good friends at Barnardo’s, Z/Yen took the obvious precaution of bringing some children along with us, only one of whom succeeded in getting a black eye trying to retrieve the ball. It was an amazing summer evening, which showed the weather characteristics of spring, autumn and winter during the two hours of play. The weather improved once we retired to the sports centre for beer and cake. Watch out for the next similar event; it was a smashing evening.

The full stack of pictures (from both matches) might help savvy locals to work it out:

Cricket_1998 (1)

A “Works Outing” To Remember, From Detroit To Fung Shing Via Scissor Happy At The Duchess Theatre, 12 December 1997

One of the more memorable Z/Yen Christmas outings, this one.

In an attempt to start to big-up the event, we tried a west end evening, with bar drinks, theatre visit and dinner in a private room.

Perhaps the bar bit was not a great idea ahead of a silly play, Scissor Happy, that was relying on audience participation for laughs.

Anyway, we started in Detroit – by which I mean the bar in Seven Dials, long since defunct as I write 25 years later – not the City in Michigan, obviously.

Then we went to see Scissor Happy at The Duchess Theatre. I wrote the following in my theatre log:

Works outing for Z/Yen – went very well.

Michael Moore’s drunken interventions were especially memorable.

Michael was the husband of one of our employees – Rachel. He was significantly older than her, indeed older than the rest of us. At first his audience interventions went down well with cast and audience, but he got carried away and for a while seemed to think that he WAS the show.

I remember several of our number being embarrassed about this – not least Rachel – although I also recall hearing on exit other audience members debating whether that funny old geezer was a plant from the show or really a member of the audience.

The Fung Shing meal was excellent in out private room. At that time Fung Shing was, in my opinion, the best restaurant in Chinatown. Writing 25 years later, it is another long-since defunct place, sadly.

Returning to Scissor Happy, though – I wonder what made us chose that play? Some sort of lowest common denominator thinking? Or perhaps it came recommended by someone…certainly not me! Not my sort of play at all.

Nor Nicholas de Jongh’s, who described it as “piffle” in the Standard:

23 Oct 1997, Thu Evening Standard (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

Strangely, Charles Spencer in The Telegraph rather liked it, while admitting “it depends who is in the audience”. Too right!

24 Oct 1997, Fri The Daily Telegraph (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

Beef On The Bone Risk Compared With Christmas Risk, Z/Yen Public Relations Stunt, 5 December 1997

A government ban on the sale of beef-on-the-bone, in late 1997, was very unpopular. The worry was “Mad Cow Disease” or variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease in humans, although the connection and risks seemed very low to many of us.

I wrote a tongue-in-cheek press release for Z/Yen, which you can read by clicking here…

…or, if by chance the Z/Yen archive goes awry before Ogblog does, I have scraped that piece to here.

In truth, it was written more as a personal rant and internal Z/Yen team joke for Christmas that year than anything that I thought might really generate press, but strangely the Daily Telegraph picked up on it, called me for a chat about it and then published this piece – extracted onto the then nascent Z/Yen web site here...

…or, if by chance the Z/Yen archive goes awry before Ogblog does, I have scraped that piece to here.

The beef-on-the-bone ban was lifted in time for Christmas (1999) – so never let it be said that I have no influence.

Seasonal Dos, Including A Low Key Z/Yen Dinner At Le Muscadet, 17 to 21 December 1996

Thumbnail borrowed from londontown.com. Probably Le Muscadet.

Tuesday 17 December – Viv’s Place

On the Tuesday, Janie and I went to Viv’s place in Golders Green for the evening. I think it was a sort-of seasonal party, mostly of the foodie variety.

Thursday 19 December – Z/Yen Christmas Bash At Le Muscadet

Sur lie aging…aren’t we all?

Thursday evening was the Z/Yen Christmas do – a relatively small scale affair that year, at Le Muscadet in Paddington Street, a restaurant now long gone. I recall Michael and I had used that place a few times for “corporate entertaining” in those early days of Z/Yen, so we thought it would be a sensible venue for our small but sweet team to gather.

I’m pretty sure that the group comprised Kevin & Kate Parker, Teresa Bestard Perello, Mike & Marianna Smith, Michael & Elisabeth, Me and Janie. Perhaps one or two other associates. 10 or 12 of us at the most.

It was a very good meal – it always was at le Muscadet. I recall one earlier occasion when Michael and I took some visiting Australian former colleagues/prospective clients there and they waxed lyrical about the place.

This will have been the first Z/Yen Christmas do held in London – the first two were held at The Paris House in Bedfordshire:

Z/Yen, The Very First Z/Yen Seasonal Song Lyric, 9 December & 16 December 1994

Not sure what, if anything, we did in terms of a seasonal song that 1996 Christmas – I cannot find anything in my dated files for it. It might have been one of Michael’s efforts, but I have a feeling we didn’t do one that year as we were simply a table in an open restaurant and didn’t have the guts to sing in that circumstance. I think we resolved to try and book a private area in future, when possible.

Saturday 21 December, Kim & Micky’s Place

An early in the season visit to Kim & Micky’s that year – I’m guessing they went away for Christmas itself. There will have been excellent food and wine. Probably quite a few people – perhaps even as many as the Z/Yen team do.

When Will I See You At Z/Yen, Christmas Party Lyric, 7 December 1995

DeepAI tries to replicate the most memorable image of the night

This lyric was written for the second seasonal gathering of Z/Yen, at the end of 1995, at the Paris House, Woburn (also the scene of our 1994 seasonal gathering).

I recall that Janie, Steve Taylor and I performed the piece. Janie got some outlandish wigs for us to wear. Try not to think about it too much. Fortunately for the world, no-one took photographs that evening.

Steve at Paris House the year before, 1994, without wig.

However, DeepAI has had a go at revisioning the event and come up with the following:

Robo-Steve, Janie-Bot & Avatar-Ian

 

WHEN WILL I SEE YOU AT Z/YEN?
(To the Tune of “When Will I See You Again?”)

PROPS REQUIRED/DESIRED: Wigs (sorted), mobile phones, pieces of paper (minutes, memos), left overs on plates

INTRO

Oooooohhh, haaaaaaa,
Haaaaaaa, oooooohhh,
Precious memos.

VERSE 1

When will I see you at Z/Yen?
When will we share precious minutes?
Will we have debate for ever?
Will we still be macho (macho) and work the whole night through?

VERSE 2

When will I see you at Z/Yen?
When will our team eat together?
Are we at work or just friends?
Is this supper chicken or is it scrag end? (is this scrag end?)

MIDDLE EIGHT

When will I see you at Z/Yen? When will I see you at Z/Yen? When will I see you at Z/Yen?
Haaaaaaa, oooooohhh,
Precious motors.

VERSE THREE

When will I hear you at Z/Yen?
When will we share precious mobiles?
Are we in touch or alone?
CAN YOU ****-**** HEAR ME?? Chhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh PHONE???

When will I chhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?
(When will you stop asking so many ****-**** questions?)
When will I beeeeeeeeeep?

[ENDS]

Here are the Three Degrees singing When Will I See You Again:

…and here is a link to the original lyrics.

The World Was Our Lobster, Dinner At Sandall Close With Michael, Elisabeth, Eli Wallitt & Eli’s Family, 18 December 1994

Z/Yen was a baby business that Christmas; it had just got started. I have reported Z/Yen’s origins in several pieces, not least the summer piece which included Michael’s and our race through the South of France to Eli Wallitt’s villa in our efforts to secure start-up funding:

Þe Chronique Of Primordyall Z/Yen: Þe Second Part: Mirie It Is While Sumer Ilast, Summer 1994

We were pretty sure the funding was secured and wanted to keep the funders, not least Eli, sweet.

Word was, Eli’s favourite dish was Lobster Thermidor. Janie, bless her, decided to invite Eli and his family and Michael and Elisabeth over for a Lobster Thermidor fest.

After all, how difficult can it possibly be to prepare Lobster Thermidor from first principles?

Reader, I am here to tell you that it is a heck of a lot of work to prepare Lobster Thermidor from first principles and it is really, really difficult to prepare Lobster Thermidor for seven people in a small domestic kitchen.

To add to the difficulties, I also prepared, for the same meal, my famous wonton soup from first principles in that small kitchen.

Before the soup

And to had to the hard work of it all, it transpired that Eli was one of those people who constantly needs to be entertained…like…constantly. Games, stories, food, drink…no quiet periods just savouring the moment.

Exhausted, post guests, some left over soup
Exhausted, post guests, some left over Lobster Thermidor

Twas the season of goodwill, a week before Christmas 1994, so we shall not report here Janie’s retrospective views on the subsequent debacle over Z/Yen’s start-up financing arrangements. Suffice it to say that Z/Yen survived it and thrived despite it. So we should, in a way, remain grateful to Z/Yen’s initial finance guarantors.

Z/Yen, The Very First Z/Yen Seasonal Song Lyric, 9 December & 16 December 1994

Traditions have to start somewhere; this was the first Z/Yen Seasonal party lyric.

I’d forgotten about this one until I found it in my electronic lyric archive, dated 9 December 1994. Reading the lyric brought it all back to me. I previously thought the lyric for the second seasonal party was the first lyric, probably because that is the earliest one that found its way to the Z/Yen web site. We’ll put that right soon enough.

We sang the following at the first ever seasonal gathering of Z/Yen, on 16 December 1994. We were at the Paris House, Woburn, same venue as the following year. A plaintiff little song; I rather like it. Very different in style and tone to later Z/Yen seasonal songs.

Elisabeth, Michael and Katie

We had a meeting and a Shareholders’ Agreement signing ceremony before dinner, although Michael couldn’t subscribe to Z/Yen until a couple of months later. I think he might be going through the Christmas card list in the photo above.

Steve at Paris House in 1994

Stuart subscribing, Janie in the background.

Z/YEN
(To the Tune of “Ben”)

VERSE 1

Z/Yen, the group of us need look no more,
We have founded what we’re looking for;
Tense, and some might say up tight,
We’re working half the night,
Because, my friends, you see,
We’ve got our Main-ell-i
(You’ve got your Mainelli).

From February……… allegedly…..

VERSE 2

Z/Yen, we’re always running here and there,
(Here and there),
That’s why we’ve all lost half of our hair,
(Half of your hair);
Then a project falls behind,
And we’re all hard to find,
But somehow, as you know,
We always make a go.
(The weekend tends to go).

MIDDLE EIGHT

We used to say, “we are bored”,
Now it’s “risk and reward”;
You used to seek dark and rest
Now it’s light, now it’s zest.

VERSE 3

Z/Yen, although we are still very small,
(Very small),
We can puff it up if we talk big,
(if you talk balls);
When, you learn the things we do,
You’ll all want to join too,
So, if we’d start again,
We’d still form a firm like Z/Yen.

Here is Michael Jackson singing Ben, with the lyrics on the screen:

Þe Chronique Of Primordyall Z/Yen: Þe Third Part: Windes Blast & Weder, Autumn 1994

Having planned to flee BDO Binder Hamlyn and its management consultancy when it was announced that Arthur Andersen would be taking it over…

Þe Chronique Of Primordyall Z/Yen: Þe First Part – Sumer Is Icomen In, Spring 1994

…and then having fled and started establishing Z/Yen…

Þe Chronique Of Primordyall Z/Yen: Þe Second Part: Mirie It Is While Sumer Ilast, Summer 1994

… there were times when I thought the business wouldn’t be ready to start trading on 1 October 1994. But of course we were able to open our sole door, to our sole room in Garrard House, 31-45 Gresham Street, on that prescribed day. No death in a ditch for me.

Click and look at the images for that address and you will see a grand City building, opposite Wax Chandler’s Hall, which at the time of writing has been home to Schroders plc for decades.

In the autumn of 1994, though, it was an old 1930’s building, in a state of some distress, which was about to be emptied for the purposes of a massive makeover for Schroders.

Nice address.

Mercifully, no pictures seem to survive on-line of the old Garrard House, nor of the single, pokey room that was, for about nine months, in 1994/1995, Z/Yen. Here and below is a link to a wonderful blog piece about the history of Gresham Street with some good photos which, again mercifully, miss out the 1930s to 1990s Garrard House:

Gresham Street And St. Lawrence Jewry

There were just five of us on the payroll that first autumn; Kate Carty, me, Stuart Otter, Steve Taylor and John Thompson. Michael Mainelli was with us, in spirit and informally, but technically Michael was unable to join the firm until February 1995.

Kate Carty got something akin to cabin fever in those early months, as so few of us went nigh nor by the place. Yet somehow Kate and Steve got it together during that early period of Z/Yen’s life, such that our tiny business of just six people; the other four of whom were attached, managed to yield an office romance and then marriage which, like Z/Yen, has endured to this day (as I write 25 years later).

Kate (standing) with Elisabeth and Michael
Steve

One abiding memory from that room is the day in early December when we needed to splurge on getting our first year’s Christmas cards out. We thought this to be a very important marketing campaign…

…in truth the Christmas cards was our only marketing campaign for the first year or so of our existence.

A rare occasion when several of us were in the room at the same time; me, Kate and John Thompson.

In the early days of a business, everyone needs to muck in for all tasks, including stuffing envelopes and labelling up Christmas cards…

…but John Thompson seemed a little reluctant for such menial tasks.

I said:

I must be the highest paid envelope-stuffer in the City right now.

John, a competitive fellow who was being paid considerably more than me at that time, immediately jumped up and exclaimed,

No, I am the highest paid envelope-stuffer in the City.

I was delighted to let JT win that debate.