This is one of my very early comedy lyrics, pre NewsRevue, written just for my own amusement and that of my friends.
Charles Haughey was a scandal-prone Irish Taoiseach for many years, who finally came a cropper in a phone-tapping scandal pretty much described in this lyric.
What the lyric lacks in laugh-out-loud humour, it more than makes up for as an historically accurate verse-poem.
ON THE LINE
(To the tune of “Clementine”)
VERSE ONE
In a Dublin TV Studio,
There was whiskey, there was wine;
Guest of honour in the corner,
Peter Brook, he lay supine.
When the time came for the programme,
In a chair he did recline;
But he knew not what he’s doing,
So he sang of Clementine.
Oh my darlin’, oh my darlin’, oh my darlin’ Clementine;
This will outrage Ian Paisley,
Oh my darlin’ Clementine.
VERSE TWO
When old Brook got back to London,
He attempted to resign;
But his offer was rejected,
Cos John Major lacked the spine.
But in Dublin in the Dail,
Politics is less benign;
Charlie Haughey was in trouble,
Cos he knew of a bugged line.
Sean Doherty, Sean Doherty, Sean Doherty tapped the line;
But Charles Haughey knew about it,
So its his job on the line.
VERSE THREE
Ten long years had departed,
Since the blame he did decline;
And tho’ no-one had believed him,
Charlie thought he now was fine.
But now Sean has blown the whistle,
It is known that Charlie’s lyin;
So now even old Houdini,
Got tied up with his own line.
Charlie Haughey, Charlie Haughey, Charlie Haughey did resign,
But still Conor Cruise O’Brian,
Carries garlic all the time.
1 February 1992
Below is a video of Freddy Quinn singing Oh My Darling Clementine: