Really Saying Nothing, Comedy Lyric, 14 March 1992

I think this lyric and one or two others in the run up to the 1992 general election, coincided with my first visits to NewsRevue at the Canal Cafe Theatre. I’ll need to rummage my physical correspondence files for chapter and verse on that.

But I was also just sort-of writing this stuff for friends and my own amusement.

I’m pretty sure this one formed part of my early submission pack to NewsRevue but it wasn’t used.

It has some quite good ideas in it, though.

                                         REALLY SAYING NOTHING
 
(Sung to the tune of “Really Saying Something”)
 
1st BIT
 
I was walking down the street, ({CHORUS} Dowaddywaddy)
When a pollster came up to me; ({CHORUS} Oh yeh)
He shook me by the throat,  ({CHORUS} Dowaddywaddy)
And asked me which way I would vote.
“Is it Tory or Labour; Kinnock or Major?”
 
I said:  They’re all really saying nothing, really saying nothing,
{BOTH}   Ba ba sooky do wah, ba ba sooky do wah.
 
2nd BIT
 
I was watching my TV,({CHORUS} Dowaddywaddy)
John Major was lecturing me;({CHORUS} Oh yeh)
“Avoid Labour’s double whammy,({CHORUS} Dowaddywaddy)
And Paddy Ashdown’s handshake is clammy.
If you want hope and glory, you should vote Tory”.
 
But:  He was really saying nothing, really saying nothing,
{BOTH} Ba ba sooky do wah, ba ba sooky do wah.
 
INSTRUMENTAL BIT (During the instrumental the following voiceover from Paddy Ashdown is rendered): 
 
“We Liberals firmly believe that we are really saying something.  And yet, in many ways we are really saying nothing.  Vote Liberal, the only party prepared to state, quite categorically, that we aren’t really saying whether we are really saying something or not.”
 
3rd BIT
 
I then went to my town hall,     ({CHORUS}Dowaddywaddy)
Where Kinnock was giving his all; ({CHORUS}Oh yeh)
“John Major is a creep,     ({CHORUS}Dowaddywaddy)
And Liberals prefer it with sheep.
You will live longer later, linking with Labour”.
 
Cripes:  He was really saying nothing, really saying nothing,
{BOTH} Ba ba sooky do wah, ba ba sooky do wah.
 
{CHORUS}We’re all really saying nothing, really saying nothing,
{BOTH} Ba ba sooky do wah, ba ba sooky do wah.
                                                                                                      14 March 1992

Below is a video of the Velvelettes singing Really Saying Something:

Here is a link to the lyrics of He Was Really Saying Something.

Or, in case you think that song HAS to be Bananarama & The Fun Boy Three: