I seem to remember this one doing rather well in NewsRevue, but more in terms of its component parts being recycled than as a coherent whole…
…perhaps that’s because the medley is not much of a coherent whole, while the component parts are pretty good:
TOP OF THE POPS FINANCE/BUDGET SPECIAL
(A medley of songs and chart rundown for the 1993 Economy)
GORDON BROWN
(To the Tune of “Golden Brown”)
VERSE 1
Gordon Brown, Labour’s first son,
Scottish brogue, like a Glasweigan;
Throughout the weeks, talks through his cheeks,
Speaker may drown, with Gordon Brown.
VERSE 2
Gordon Brown, shadow finance,
Hates Lamont’s monetary stance;
Don’t reinflate, low interest rate,
Uniform pound, from Gordon Brown.
VERSE 3
Gordon Brown, thick wavy hair,
Don’t confuse, him with Tony Blair;
Fat cheeks and jowls, he always scowls,
‘cept when he frowns, that’s Gordon Brown.
(Optional fade out, as in original, “Never a clown, with Gordon Brown”)
CHART RUNDOWN – (CHOOSE YOUR OWN DJ)
What a simply sensational sound that is, at number seven, the Economic Stranglers with Gordon Brown. And now, here is the rundown of the rest of this week’s Top of The Pops Finance/Budget charts:
At number 6 we have a double A side from Shalamar, “Take That to the Bank of England” and “I owe you one-hundred-billion”
Down to number 5 we have “Money’s Too Tight To Mention” from Simply In The Red
Still moving up, at number 4 is “Busy Doing Nothing” by over three million people and rising
For the 30th week running at number 3 “Float on” by E.R.M.
Still at number 2 (but only just) is “You Won’t Find Another Fool Like Me” by Norman Lamont
And this weeks new number one is Jolted John by Jolted John Major
JOLTED JOHN
(To the Tune of “Jilted John”)
VERSE 1 – JOHN MAJOR
I’ve a podgy thick chancellor, his name is Norman,
Has a face that could crack glass, just like Teressa Gorman.
(And this is what he said)
VERSE 2 – JOHN MAJOR
He said listen John, we’ve fucked up, I can’t get no more money,
We can’t put up income tax, so we must raise more VAT.
(I asked him some considerably difficult questions at this juncture)
VERSE 3 – JOHN MAJOR
Who won’t lend us money? “IMF” was his reply,
“Not more cuts” I said dismayed, “Yes, we’ll need more cuts” he cried.
(He’s more of a heartless bastard than I’ll ever be, I was not inconsiderably upset, oh yes)
VERSE 4 – JOHN MAJOR
I was so upset that I cried all the way to the parliament,
When I came out there was Gordon standing on the pavement.
(That’s Gordon Brown, the shadow chancellor. And guess who was with him? Yeh, Margaret Beckett. And they were both laughing at me.)
VERSE 5 – GORDON BROWN AND MARGARET BECKETT (perhaps with audience participation)
Oh you are dumb and spineless, to not pack in Norman,
Just cos you’ve no-one better than he, just cos you both are friendly.
But we know he’s a moron, (Norman is a moron, Norman is a moron, Norman is a moron).
Click here or below for a video of Jilted John: