In those days, Patrick Moore and Heather Couper were almost certainly the best-known media astronomers in the UK. Strangely, I had met them both in my younger days; Patrick Moore in most unusual circumstances when I interviewed him for the Keele newspaper…
Heather was a client of Stanley Bloom’s, so I did a bit of work for her through that.
Anyway, it seems I wrote this topical lyric to mark the collision of the comet Shoemaker Levy 9 with the planet Jupiter…
…what do you mean, you don’t remember that event in July 1994? Here’s a short CNN news video with pictures and stuff…followed by my lyric:
_ JUPITER FIRE _
(Duet for Patrick Moore and Heather Couper to the Tune of “Great Balls Of Fire”)
VERSE 1
PATRICK:Some say it’s a cosmological sign,
HEATHER:This comet Shoemaker-Levy 9;
PATRICK:I’m Patrick Moore,
HEATHER:Oh what a bore,
BOTH:By jove, bright mauve, Jupiter fire.
VERSE 2
HEATHER:I came along and I said stars are super,
PATRICK:I hate that daft cow Heather Couper;
I’ve got more zeal,
HEATHER:I’ve sex appeal,
BOTH:Goodness gracious weird TV stars.
MIDDLE EIGHT
PATRICK:Kiss me Heather,
HEATHER:Ughhhhh – no hope;
PATRICK:Wondered whether,
You might erect my huge pork telescope.
HEATHER:You’re in trouble,
PATRICK:A bit like Hubble,
HEATHER:A screw or two’s come lose so you both see double, double.
VERSE 3
BOTH:We wait for years and we do all our sums,
Jupiter’s smashed up by these earth-sized crumbs;
We’re both in orbit,
Everyone else ignores it,
Goodness gracious great non event.
Below is a video with Jerry Lee Lewis singing Great Balls Of Fire with the lyrics on the screen: