Our First Full Day At Kaya Mawa, Likoma Island, Malawi, 8 October 2013


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Rose early and were brought coffee at circa 6:00/6:15. Wrote up. Pottered about and then took breakfast around 8:30 or 9 o’clock.

Prior to breakfast I discovered a sizeable frog on Daisy’s hat when I returned from backing up all our photos. We also observed and photographed a pied crow drinking the milk from our morning coffee.

We strolled around a bit to orient ourselves, sat on the sunbeds, enjoyed the plunge pool.

Enjoy the delicious lunch – guacamole with sourdough bread followed by a fish on a bed of couscous main. Coffee to follow.

Retired for a sunbed snooze in my case. Daisy wake me up at circa 15:30 so we had time for a quick swim in the lake and siesta proper before dark.

Got ready for evening went down early as there was a song and dance show from the local church/street/village choir/dance troupe. Soon we were joining in the dancing and soon after many others also joined in much to the delight of the staff.

After the excitement, the dinner. Chicken liver pate with a tomato relish and soda bread, then beef fillet with dauphinoise potatoes and sesame beans. Treacle tart desert, washed down with most but not all of a jolly pinotage.

Early night.

From Lilongwe To Likoma Island, 7 October 2013


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We rose early and struggle to make the kettle work without help from Jane (housekeeping).

Birdlife at Hueglin’s Lodge is stunning – we sat out before breakfast and took it all in. Chatted with Marianne briefly.

To breakfast – saw Becca briefly (not talkative in the morning!) Then arranged a brief tour with Mike.

A new hotel in Lilongwe

He showed us the Capitol Hill, with many government buildings, the parliament building and a huge memorial to Hastings Banda. We discussed his track record and legacy.

Parliament Buildings
Hastings Banda Memorial

Then in search of Trysh’s (Chip’s daughter’s) coffee shop. Mike erroneously takes us to Land and Lakes Safari, where they have a coffee shop, but actually the place we want is part of Ulendo [Ulendo Airlink is an internal airline] and we have had a more extensive tour of Lilongwe than planned.

We see markets and malls as we drive around – nothing much of note.

Trysh is not at her coffee shop, but we do meet her daughter Jeanie who is feeling poorly and goes off for a malaria test. One of our pilots and some of the other Ulendo crew are taking coffee there.

Later, Julie (Chip’s other daughter) appeared – she gave us some of the family low down and showed us a picture of the extended family. She also gave us some travel tips e.g. for negotiating Johannesburg airport.

We returned to Heuglin’s to collect our things, said goodbye to Pam and all and then off to the airport.

Despite our best efforts to downscale our luggage, Scarface tried quite hard to refuse my big bag, although the two together are within weight. We say goodbye to Mike after leaving our other baggage with Wilderness at the airport.

Soon we board the little plane and sit up close and personal with the pilots. The flight only takes 35 or so minutes and is very smooth.

We were met by Becky at the airport, who transported us in a couple of jeeps – 10 of us arriving at Kaya Mawa simultaneously – very unusual.

The weather was glorious – they had a couple of cloudy days on the back of our chiperoni but that’s all gone now, hopefully.

We are oriented by Michelle (one of Hippity’s cousins [Irish] and wife of chef Richard) then taken to our room and brought a light lunch of salad.

We oriented ourselves a bit after unpacking and speak with Josh who is a bit of a bouncy livewire.

Then we bath/shower ready for dinner – a pear with parmesan and pancetta starter, chicken in bacon sauce, mash and veg, a cheesecakey thing (least interesting but nice base) first two would have had walnuts but for us alerting them on orientation.

Early night.

From Zomba To Lilongwe Via Mua, 6 October 2013

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Rose early, took breakfast, settled the extras bill (surprisingly event-free and speedy) then had bags of time to write ups, final packing and early start for Mua.

We take a few photos along the way, but mostly spend the next three hours on the road.

Just outside Balaka, we saw people with Chewa Gule Wamkulu masks on their way to a funeral. I hurriedly opened my camera and snapped a great shot. It took an hour of fruitless snapping to prove to Daisy and that my success was sheer luck.

Arrived at Mua.

We were concerned reading up last night at the Museum might be closed on a Sunday, but Mike has assured us that the place opens on a Sunday so we were reassured.

Further reassurance came when we were met by a young man from the mission who showed us into the mission shop. We said we’d prefer to see the museum first. He said the museum is closed on a Sunday. This is a Catholic mission., so far the Boucher does not allow such commerce on a holy day…

…”But the shop is open for pity’s sake! Why does he allow that?” I wanted to say.

Mike asked to see Robert, the curator, who quickly appeared and told us it’s impossible to meet our request. The museum only opens on Sunday if there is a prior booking for an additional fee. The fact that we booked this back in January never filtered through to him. He would of course have helped if he could, but he can’t. The key is locked away in the priest’s house and the priest is out doing his Sunday mass rounds. He is making a few phone calls to see if there is a way of intercepting the priest.

Soon a German lady with two young German women arrive – the lady clearly knows Robert well and the whole problem is explained again. Robert says that the administrator also has a key but is not home and no one knows where he is.

Eventually we hatch a plan. As someone in the village thought they knew the fathers mass itinerary, so Robert, Mike and I went off to hunt down the father, leaving the womenfolk behind in the shop.

Welcome to Africa.

Two or three minutes down the road, we ran into the administrator. 30 seconds later we were turning around and returning victorious with the key. The mighty hunters had captured their game.

There’s easy!

The museum was duly opened Robert went into performance mode, explaining the Museum, the exhibits, the history and the link between tribal traditions and Christianity in these parts. The museum concentrates on Ngoni, Yao and Chewa tribes.

We had an interesting discussions in the museum about circumcision (Yao) other initiation rites among the tribes, HIV (the perennial conversation topic) and the role of women in these tribes and rights.

After the tour, Robert relieve me of $8 for the mission and I gave a further $10 for himself which seemed to please them. We also bought a book, a DVD and some serving spoons in the shop.

Then on our way to Dedza to the pottery. Then we met a nice young Danish lady working as a midwife in Lilongwe and Mike failed to secure the services of a guide for the rock art – he wanted $13 and a lift home which seemed excessive.

Instead, we headed up to Mpunzi Mountain while Mike contacted a local chap who met us and showed us for the panels there. $12 later (he knew how to charge) we were on our way to Heuglins Lodge, arriving just after dark.

Daisy took a lots of sunset pictures on the way, only a few will make the cut.

We were warmly greeted at Heuglins by Jane, Pam, Emma and later on Chris. This is certainly an “all dine around the table” place so, so although they offered to set us up separately in the garden for dinner, we thought better of it. Especially, as Daisy pointed out, because “we might be eaten alive out there”.

We washed and changed and got down for dinner late.

Marianne (from Norway) Becca (from JAGS, London) and Frank (from Zambia). Chris joined us for a chat about Malawi, travel, NGOs, HIV, gender issues, cricket and more besides.

We retired quite early and well fed on a cheese plate, chicken with mash and veg and a raspberry sorbet type thing.

Touring Around The Zomba Plateau & Relaxing At Ku Chawe, 5 October 2013

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Rose quite early, took cafetiere coffee and a better breakfast than last night’s dinner had suggested – quite a vast spread.

Mike had been allocated to us for today by Wilderness Safari.

Before going touring yesterday, I had called Tanya in London to complain about the lousy transfer [arse-to-tit with the Taylor couple, not as specified]. When we returned from touring, a Wilderness Safari lady phoned to “apologise” and offer our upgrade (what upgrade?) and touring for today gratis. Daisy and I agreed that we should limit the tour to 5 hours or so and Mike was happy with that.

So off we went to the Williams Falls. Just before we were due to stop, Daisy befriended some kids carrying wood bundles on their heads. Daisy tried it for herself with some awkwardness but success.

Then on to Williams Falls themselves – Ged hears the call of the “greater spotted Heather Taylor” as we retreat from the bush.

Then on to Chagwa dam, natural reservoir, where we stop the car and hike to Queen’s View and Emperor’s View. At the former, we buy a stone piece made of black tourmaline and white ferro spa from Malosa Mountain.

At the latter, we spot the Taylors again – what is it with these people?

[Actually, you’ll be relived to learn that this was the last we saw of The Taylor Couple, aka the rude “Audley Couple” when we arrived, who seemed to keep bouncing back to us, possibly because, we suspect, they booked an adapted version of the tour we nearly booked through Audley. We chose Ultimate in the end because they found us Hueglin’s Lodge, which solved a difficult travel issue in getting to Kaya Mawa, but those stories are for another day]

Then a long drive to Chingwe’s hole, plus the craic nearby, where the merchants failed to persuade us to buy, but we gave them our sandwiches.

Then another fairly long and bumpy ride home.

Afternoon on lovely hotel terrace with comedy act revolving around us ordering a beer, two glasses and a plate of macadamia nuts, with a small cast of characters trying to meet the order and get us to sign for it…

…or not as the case seemingly turned out. As no bill for the nuts came.

After relaxing on the terrace, we relaxed some more on our own balcony, now sunny.

Daisy started the job of repacking; between us it was done quite quickly.

Some comedy plumbing, as Daisy showed me how she was solving the trickling/non-flushing loo problem…

…by pumping the bath outflow with the bath plug thingy. The resulting trickle of water from under the bath (coincidently with the toilet resuming service) told us it was soon time to leave and we plotted several toilet use strategies.

Shower? Toilet? Bath? Whatever!

Then shower and dinner.

A much better looking a-la-carte tonight and no intrusive buffet. Our fireside table was indeed reserved for us which made Daisy happy.

The mushroom soup experience of last night did not deter Daisy from the carrot soup (poor choice – a floury concoction as devoid of carrot as its predecessor had been devoid of mushroom), nor did it deter me from spicy mushrooms on toast – much better choice – last night’s soup mushrooms must have been held back for this tasty treat.

Then fish – the waiter suggested we try two types – the Kampango (fillet which Daisy tried with chips) and the Chambo (whole fish, bit like a freshwater bream, which I tried with rice). Mine was tastier but very very bony. Same vegetable melee as yesterday. Raspberry tart more like a stuffed scone.

I like to chambo, she likes kampango, we like less endangered species…NOW they tell us.

The food and beverage manager chatted us up at dinner, raising the macadamia incident. Daisy (perhaps foolishly) mentioned that we hadn’t been charged for them.

“That’s right, but you will be, when you sign for your wine”, he said. The wine was a jolly Saffer Chardonnay by the way.

When the bill came, still no nuts! I signed, tipped heartily again and we left. Mr Foodandbeverage was at the restaurant reception as we left.

“Did you enjoy your meal?”

“Yes, yes…”

“Did they get you to pay for your nuts?”

“Not yet”.

“Ah, wait here…”

…he says…and produces a bill for $10 – about the price of a sirloin steak.

We have a lively debate about the sense or otherwise in charging monstrous amounts for small things and he decides in the end to waive the charge…

…despite my insistence that we should pay something, just a reasonable sum.

We went to bed feeling bemused, amused and probably several other things ending in “used”.

Your nuts sir…I said, you’re nuts, sir!

From Huntingdon House, Thyolo, To Zomba, 4 October 2013

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We rise early, pack, take an early coffee in the room and then breakfast on the terrace.

Daisy returns to the room to finish packing just as Christopher [driver] arrives.

It becomes apparent very quickly that Christopher is expecting to collect us and the Taylors. Daisy will be pleased, as am I and indeed (presumably) are the Taylors.

I go and tell Daisy, who stomps off to sort the matter out. I can see, of course, it is pretty much unsortable. Christopher suggested doing two trips. But that would mean one couple loses half a day at least.

He suggests an extra alternative car, but that would be at least four hours also.

There was nothing else for it, we all had to squash into a single vehicle clearly designed for the comfort of two not four with baggage.

Daisy ended up curled up like a fetus amongst the baggage, while the Taylors took the prime seats and I sat up front with Christopher.

Under the circumstances (curled up in the foetal position) Daisy took some excellent pictures

We all got to know each other bit better, which was splendid. The Taylors had their own arrangements at the other end, whereas we were expecting to take to the town, so we agreed that Christopher would drop us at Ke Chawe, wait for me and Daisy and then take us touring.

Despite the traffic jam at one detour village…

…we reached town at circa 12:15.

Daisy and I were shown a shabby room, clearly not deluxe, but it seemed that all rooms had been regraded since we booked so there is no such thing as a standard room any more!

I asked upgrade to the best available, which I was informed was executive deluxe $20 extra. I explained that it was not about money and we moved.

Tipping at this place seems to invite slightly better service.

So we were off touring. We went to the market first. Looked around. People can be quite surly and many don’t want photos. Although many are friendly and most can be won round at least to chat, if not for photos.

Pop-top chequers

I played bawo for while in the market and lost. Despite seemingly good advice.

Daisy wanted to see chitense cloth, but didn’t get much further than Christopher’s friend’s stall.

Then on to the colonial buildings, after short stop for Christopher to arrange some money and buy some petrol.

At the first, now a municipal and/or embassy building, it was hard to tell which, Christopher failed to get some information for us but we were happy just to walk around.

Daisy saw an interesting looking estate behind the gate, from which a security man came and we thought we might be in trouble. But Daisy persuaded him that she was keen on gardens, so he opened up and became our guide.

Turned out she had seen an extension to Annie’s Lodge being built, in the shadow of the Hotel Masongola, perhaps the grandest of the colonial buildings.

Satiated, we returned home, thanked Christopher, returned to bath and change…

…except the bath water is brown, so we thought perhaps shower…

…but 30 seconds of shower flooded the room.

So we ended up switching rooms again (a longer process once you have unpacked, but mercifully only towed two doors down).

Then showering – the bathwater was still brown – then down to dinner for an insipid flower thickened mushroom soup followed by a tough old boiler hen in a tasty tomato/onion gravy and okay deserts.

Hurray for a tasty Paarl Riesling, boo to the cold in the dining room which made Daisy in particular thoroughly miserable.

She went straight to bed with her clothes on. Even I used my “kaftan shirt” as a nightie!

A Full Day At Huntingdon House & Tea Estate, 3 October 2013

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We rise early and well rested. Charles brings us coffee. Then we go off bird walking with Lareek, first around the beautiful gardens and then across the estate to the factory “lakes”. (The larger, Swan Lake, with some interesting bird life of its own).

We see many interesting birds and failed to see many more, but it is a fun walk. The weather is glorious and by the end of the walk the sun is beating down on our heads.

We return to discover that the Taylors have switched their itinerary and are joining us at the tea factory later – hurrah – but only after Mrs T has done some more teaching.

Daisy orders our breakfast, restating the order several times to Charles who only really wanted to accept the order from me!

Then we relax on our terrace for the morning (me writing these notes) until lunch.

Ate little at lunch – a huge chicken and vegetable pancake coated in cheese – Daisy just had macadamia nuts.

We set off for the tea factory ahead of the Taylor couple who returned late from “teaching” again.

By the time we’ve waited and the mandatory video has been set up, the Taylors have arrived.

The next video explains the basics, with a nice spelling mistake on the closing caption, but then we are whisked off to the lab for a full tilt tea tasting with Mr Custom.

Highlights were needles, antlers and pearls. The Oolong (now known Zomba) has come on leaps and bounds, while the green is still a little grassy.

Learnt a lot about second and third steeping etc. Bought plenty of tea and then set off home while the Taylors did their buying. Took a quick walk around the roses and then round to a photo genic part of the estate.

Chatted briefly with Anette and the Danish intern who was busy interviewing her. Anette was a bit vague about our collection arrangements [for tomorrow], which phased Daisy (when I returned to report it) more than me.

Got ready for dinner and found that we were back in the austere dining room, while the main room was set up for five Médecins Sans Frontières doctors and the Taylors were in the library ante-room.

After tomato and cheese tartlet, the main was a superb fillet steak and the desert a light tea based creme thingy.

Meanwhile we had been reassuringly informed that we were being collected at nine by our driver and the Taylors at 10 by theirs.

Soon Chip appeared and waxed lyrical about tea, employing females (in favour) insisting on HIV tests, pregnancy tests etc, HIV generally etc, he also tells us that this was the first chiperoni rains 30 September & 1 October since the records began in 1933!

Daisy teased Chip that we’d poach his best people, which he shrugged off, except as he left he said “please don’t poach Anette!”

Just prior to that, we discussed the badging of his teas (“speciality teas” being a term that grates on me). He did seem to listen for once.

Early to bed, again.

Chip: “Please don’t poach Anette”

Around Huntingdon House, Mulanje Town & Mulanje Massif, 2 October 2013

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The power returned in the early hours and but we have no need to rise early as we had requested a late kick-off (9 am) in the hope of allowing the weather to improve.

We rose quite early anyway and made a belated request for early morning cuppa at 6:30-ish which was achieved close to 7:30 – never mind.

To breakfast at eight – bacon, sausage, tomato (and scrambled egg for Daisy) and toast made from a sesame seed coated bread. Nothing happens quickly but everything happens in the end.

Anette comes to tell us that the weather forecast looks good – cloudy but dry.

We run into the Taylors again and exchange plans. They are to teach local kids in the morning and do a tea tasting in the afternoon under the special auspices of Chip.

“We hear you are conquering the mountain today” said Mr T.

“We are doing our walking tomorrow, when the weather gets better,” said Mrs T, with a tinge of pity in her voice.

“Actually Anette tells us that the Internet shows the weather is set fair for today”, I said, “I think we’ll prefer walking with a bit of cloud cover.”

“Does she use some sort of Norwegian website?” asked Mr T.

(I thought Anette was Swedish but adjusted this assumption, as Mr T might be better informed).

Mike picked us up at nine-ish and took us off, initially up into the higher reaches of the tea estate to the mini mountain at the top of the estate.

The clouds were clearly getting higher even then and it was very pleasant short hike to the picnic spot at the top. I think Mike was checking us out as well as showing us some extra good stuff. The vistas were lovely and we can see the Shire Valley below – we couldn’t quite see Majete but only because of the hills in between.

Then on to Mulanje. First stop, the town itself. Specifically the market. On the way into the market, Mike shows us a noisy bar/café – the noise being Malawian reggae. Crates of shake-shake are lying around. Daisy is surprised when I choose to try it. Mike suggest we try today’s delivery (yesterday’s will have fermented further in the cartons and be much stronger).

As the guidebook suggests, the gravel like texture of this beer is strange to our western tastes. But, unlike the guidebook, I rather like it. Daisy’s reaction is more compliant with the script. I also ask Mike if we can seek out the music.

Mike observes Daisy tentatively drinking shake-shake

Meanwhile the dollar I handed over to satisfy the 190 kwacha ($0.50) bill is causing some consternation. The bartender would prefer local money, but when Mike offers to pay the bill (perhaps “and some”) in exchange for the dollar, the barman twigged that I had offered him an exceptional deal, so kept the Yankee dollar.

We then walked around the market, mostly getting willing subjects for the photos but sometimes not. Then onto the music centre, where $2 got me the very reggae in question.

The Black Missionaries. Specifically I bought their then latest album, Kuimba 9

After a pee stop at the motel, a failed attempt to buy a chichewa newspaper – but that won’t be hard elsewhere we are told.

Then off to Mulanje Massif – a short drive to the Likhubula Forest Station and Lodge where we leave the car and set off an hour hike/picnic. Hard, mostly uphill, but not treacherous walking, stopping to take in the sights and water along the way.

The waterfall is quite spectacular, although not as big as I expected.

The picnic shelter is no more, but on a cloudy day that didn’t matter and we tucked in to corned beef burgers, macadamia nuts (or treat also for my), orange and an orange/carrot cake. Lovely. Then down again (much easier).

Photos on the way down include some amazingly coloured geckos and chameleons.

Pee-pee stop at the Likhubula Lodge, then set off for home.

The sun comes out for the last leg of the walk and the late afternoon drive home. We arrive just before dark.

We bath and get ready for dinner looking at our photos etc.

Dinner is in the lounge for us tonight (the Taylors are in the dining room).

The starter is green tea dumplings, which are basically momos, but it transpires that Anette cannot remember what they’re called, she just remembers them from Nepal!

Then a main course of hake in banana leaf with rice and green pepper-oriented veg.

It transpires that Anette IS Swedish (go figure, know-all Mr T) and I (perhaps prematurely) request to meet Chip if he is around, which he is.

So we get the “full-tilt Chip” experience.

He cannot place which tribe we are (he believes that there are three in the UK), nor which village we are from.

He was raised speaking only the local tribal language until he was six, although he talks like Brian Blessed.

Chip Kay

He [Chip, not Brian Blessed] was delighted that I drink their tea and have done so for years.

He then gave us the benefit of his knowledge of tea growing, tea preparation, anti-oxidants, the additions that kill anti-oxidising phenols, wine transportation in Africa, the former cannibal who used to guard the estate, the “cuddle bunnies” (presumably “droit du seigneur”) that came as standard back then…

…and very, very nearly got his take on how Anette and his son got it together. “Now there’s a story for another day”, he said. We did, however, learn that her maiden name is Anette Bovins, that she hails from Lapland and that she used to bike around Africa making films (or presumably television programmes).

More tomorrow, if we are lucky. (Much more tomorrow, if we are unlucky).

To bed.

From Mkulumadzi Lodge To Huntingdon House, Malawi, 1 October 2013

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Woke up at 3:50 to the sound of torrential rain. Made an executive decision to cancel our 450 appointment with the alarm, as it was clear that the boat trip was not going to happen.

Went back to sleep and woke again around 530 at which point we had an early coffee and watch the rain come down. We saw an elephant elephant demolish a small tree on the island and took some photos of that.

Took breakfast around eight-ish and learnt that our driver had arrived early at 9:30. Got ready to leave (including a safe opening ceremony with Chris – battery problem!) and said our goodbyes. Gillian and anonymous husband came with us across the wobbly bridge, while the Taylors (a.k.a. the Audley couple) await their driver. As it happens, their driver turns up as we cross the bridge and seems very keen to haggle with Mike over who takes whom – Daisy reckons that he saw us tipping and got a bit excited.

The splendid news is that the Audley couple is joining us at Huntingdon. So we tell her driver, Mike, to drive like the wind, in the hope of getting to our destination first and securing the best privileges.

As it happens, the paperwork informs me that we have been allocated the chapel.

Anyway, no one could drive too fast that day – the rain was relentless. This is the dry hot season, so called (in our experience) because it is cool and wet.

We see Gillian and anonymous husband at the Majete Gatehouse – or rather what is left of it – some wire netting on the roof of their vehicle has hit the thatch on the Gatehouse. Might have been an idea to exit on the other side, which is higher and which we did.

We drove through Blantyre and took a few snaps but there was little to see, especially in the rain and on and on market day.

We got to Huntingdon around lunchtime and took position possession of the chapel.

Amos showed us around (I don’t think he’s my cousin) [One of my many characters is a rogue named Amos who pretends to be my cousin].

We fiddled unsuccessfully with the safe. Amos offered us bacon pasta, then came to tell us that we were having vegetable quiche, but when I offered to go without, the order was changed again to steak sandwich – which was rather good. Daisy had a giant glass of red while I had a glass of stout.

We met Anette – Chip’s daughter-in-law – a glamorous looking Swedish lady, highly strung and with email address @fruitcakeunchained.com – says it all. The place might drive anyone around the twist mind you – she couldn’t make the safe work either, so gave me the key (which still didn’t do the job, as the key releases only). Nor did our own fresh batteries do the job – “He’s dead Jim.”

Eventually we went for a walk, but as it was close to dark and I was nervous of getting lost at nightfall. In the end we did a slightly bigger loop on the map suggested but still got back in good time.

Enjoy the early evening power cuts (more fiddling about) but were able to shower and went for dinner at eight.

Actually our early arrival had achieved something, as the team had assumed that the two couples arriving from Majete was a foursome and had set one table for four – that would’ve been nice – so Daisy disabused of the staff of that assumption & the tables had been reset. Us in the dining room adjacent to the chapel, theirs [The Taylors aka The Audley Couple] in the main dining room/lounge area.

Quite an austere set up for dinner (pumpkin soup – very good, chicken roulade – bland – chocolate brownie thingie – sweet and OTT but nice) with the generator shut down at nine and us left in the dinge with paraffin lamps and candles.

Still very pleasant and an early night seems in order/more or less compulsory.