Author: Ian Louis Harris

Murmuring Judges by David Hare, Olivier Theatre, 20 January 1992

Two visits to the Olivier Theatre with Bobbie in 48 hours. Just fancy. Must have been an availability thing and both of us wanting to see both plays.

In my log I wrote,

Good, but not as good as I had hoped it would be.

I seem to recall finding the play a bit wordy, a bit worthy and also some of the legal aspects a little unconvincing. I think the feedback from Bobbie’s legal entourage was similar on that last point when we ended up comparing notes.

Here is the Theatricalia entry for this production.

Here is a link to the Wikipedia entry for this play.

Below is Michael Billington’s Guardian review:

Billington Judges JudgesBillington Judges Judges Sat, Oct 12, 1991 – 21 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Michael Coveney’s Observer review:

Coveney Judges JudgesCoveney Judges Judges Sun, Oct 13, 1991 – 56 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui by Bertolt Brecht, Olivier Theatre, 18 January 1992

This was the first of two visits to the Olivier Theatre with Bobbie in the space of 48 hours. Go figure.

The second visit was this one:

Murmuring Judges by David Hare, Olivier Theatre, 20 January 1992

We rated Arturo Ui higher than Murmuring Judges.

Very good indeed,

I wrote in my log.

Superb cast, headed by Tony Sher but also with Michael Bryant, Sally Rogers, Peter Wight, Anthony O’Donnell, Karl Johnson, Adrian Scarborough…

…oh my giddy goose, what a cast.

Here is a link to the Theatricalia entry.

“What did those with a more critical eye think of the production?”, I hear you cry.

Below is Michael Billington’s Guardian review:

Billington on UiBillington on Ui Sat, Aug 10, 1991 – 21 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Michael Coveney’s Observer review:

Coveney on UiCoveney on Ui Sun, Aug 11, 1991 – 49 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Norman Lamont, Topical Lyric, 17 January 1992

This is a sardonic song about recession and Norman Lamont, who was Chancellor of the Exchequer at the time.

I wrote this a few months before my NewsRevue era began, so it wasn’t written with that show in mind. It was almost certainly one of my Spitting Image submissions, which led to their editors’ recommendation that I get involved with NewsRevue.

However, several of those earlier that had shelf life (as indeed this song does) found their way into NewsRevue later.

I’m pretty sure This one found its way into NewsRevue in the end.

My more upbeat, slapstick, “Norman the Chancellor” song the following year, when Mr Lamont got his political comeuppance, was an even bigger hit in NewsRevue – click here or below for that one. 

Norman The Chancellor, Topical Lyric, 30 May 1993

Meanwhile, here is the January 1992 sardonic Norman Lamont song:

NORMAN LAMONT

(Sung, preferably in a Scouse accent, to the tune of “Norwegian Wood”)

1st BIT

I once had a job,

And my own house,

And a small car.

Then it all went wrong,

Not what I want,

Norman Lamont.

2nd BIT

My boss called me in and he told me that business was bad.

He said I was fired, and that made him feel rather sad.

3rd BIT

I tried to climb back,

Not one to shirk,

But there’s no work.

My girl left a note,

Sorry to run,

I’m now a nun.

4th BIT

They reclaimed my house and they sold off my car and my fridge.

So I took to meths, now I sleep under Waterloo Bridge.

5th BIT

Now when I awake,

All that I’ve got’s,

This cardboard box.

It’s not very warm,

Not what I want,

Norman Lamont.

Click here or below for a link to the song Norwegian Wood on YouTube.

This is a link to the lyrics and chords for Norwegian Wood.

Cuba, Pre-NewsRevue Lyric, 22 December 1991

This lyric dates from that early period when I was writing just for fun and/or hoping to impress Spitting Image. This one certainly wasn’t going to impress the latter, as I fear it is more than a little one-dimensional.

I do quite like the Amnesty International inspired idea of writing to Fidel and Raúl Castro to complain about human rights abuses.

The closing line, “soon it will be others”, infers that I thought they were reaching the end of their line in 1991. Wrong.

If you want to know how Janie and I got on when we visited that country, in 2007, while it was still “governed” by those two brothers, click here or below.

Cuba and Jamaica, Placeholder and Links, 17 February to 9 March 2007

Next up, my 1991 lyric:

CUBA (To the tune of "Cuba")

CHORUS 1

Cuba, we eat a lot of pasta,
Cuba, and smoke a lot of Ganja.

VERSE 1

We haven’t much money, we haven’t much oil,
Tobacco and poppies grow well on our soil.

CHORUS 2

Cuba, a good place for a Rasta,
Cuba, with reefers from Havana.

VERSE 2

This island is boring, there’s no place to go,
And six hour speeches from Fidel Castro.
He’s the one,
Does go on,
On and on,
And on and on.

CHORUS 3

Cuba, the people like a martyr.
Cuba, especially Che Guevara.

VERSE 3

The workers are friendly, the soldiers are cruel,
Write and complain to Fidel and Raul.

CHORUS 4

Cuba, is ruled by those two brothers,
Cuba, but soon it will be others!

To see and hear Cuba by The Gibson Brothers click here (where you can also read the lyrics in the information section) or just watch the embedded link below:

Blood Wedding by Federico Garcia Lorca, Cottesloe Theatre, 14 December 1991

Gosh I thought this was very good.

I think it might have been my first experience of a Lorca play and by gosh this production of Blood Wedding was powerful.

I saw this with Bobbie.

Subsequently Janie and I both became very keen on Lorca and saw a good production of Blood Wedding at the Almeida in 2005.

But returning to this production, the Theatricalia entry for it is here. A very young Helen McCrory starred as the bride and Cyril Nri was the groom.

It seems that we saw a preview, as press night was three days after our sight of it.

Below is Michael Coveney’s review from The Observer:

Coveney On Blood WeddingCoveney On Blood Wedding Sun, Jan 5, 1992 – 41 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

I think they got their timing wrong having press night on 17 December… a rare Cottesloe opening that missed out on Michael Billington or indeed anyone from the Guardian. But in my view it was the critics who missed out on a very good production.

Becket by Jean Anouilh, Theatre Royal Haymarket, 30 November 1991

I thought this play/production was very good. I think Bobbie did too.

At the time, this medieval period was not one of my favourites, whereas now, writing in March 2020 nearly 30 years later, I have been doing a bit of my own writing (albeit fun stuff) on the topic…

Dear William, My Peformance Piece For Threadmash 5, Gladstone Arms, 5 February 2020

…so would now be better equipped with the historical backdrop.

But I digress.

I was, at that time, especially partial to a bit of Jean Anouilh, which was quite popular at that time, soon after his death.

Derek Jacobi as Becket, Robert Lindsay as Henry II. That’s a pretty decent line up and the supporting cast was pretty good too. Elijah Moshinsky (better known for opera) directed it.

Michael Billington in the Guardian admired the production for its acting and directing more than he liked the play:

Billington on BecketBillington on Becket Wed, Oct 9, 1991 – 38 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Michael Coveney in the Observer didn’t like the piece much:

Michael Coveney on BecketMichael Coveney on Becket Sun, Oct 13, 1991 – 56 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

But it isn’t about those guys, it is about what we thought…and we thought it very good. I suspect I would now agree with Billington that the thrill of this production was the acting. I wonder if I have a copy of the play somewhere so I can quickly read it again after all this time?

Bye Bye NHS, Comedy Lyric, Subsequently NewsRevue, 29 October 1991

I wrote this lyric during a bout of comedy lyric writing for no particular purpose other than to entertain friends in the very early 1990s. NewsRevue came later and indeed I later revised this one for NewsRevue.

                                                               BYE BYE NHS

                                                  (to the tune of “Bye Bye Love”)
 
 
CHORUS
 
Bye bye lab,
Bye bye surgery,
Hello misery,
I think I’m gonna cry.
 
Bye bye staff,
Bye bye NHS,
Hello stinginess,
I feel like I could die,
Goodbye Health Service goodbye.
 
VERSE 1
 
We had our baby,
In Bartholemews,
We asked “which one’s ours?”,
They said “you choose”.
 
They said “the reason,
for uncertainty,
Is lack of budget,
In maternity.
 
Bye bye love,
Bye bye pregnancy,
Hello celibacy,
I think I’m gonna cry.
 
Bye bye cap,
Bye bye IUD,
Hello vasectomy,
I think I’d rather die,
Goodbye Health Service goodbye.
 
VERSE 2
 
I need a hip joint,
But it appears,
The NHS list,
Goes back three years.
 
Now there’s a reason,
Why I’m serene,
Cos while I’m waiting,
I’m on Morphine.
 
Bye bye blood,
Bye bye saline drip,
Hello Opium trip,
I think I’m gonna cry.
 
Bye bye drugs,
Bye bye pharmacy,
Hello lunacy,
I feel like I could die,
Goodbye Health Service goodbye.
 
VERSE 3
 
They’ve called a priest in,
For the last rights,
My condition’s worsened,
Overnight.
 
With the right treatment,
I may survive,
But they can’t afford to,
Keep me alive.
 
Bye bye life,
Bye bye wakefulness,
Hello deadliness,
I think I’m gonna cry.
 
Bye bye lungs,
Bye bye artery,
Hello mortury,
I think I’m gonna die,
Goodbye Health Service goodbye,
 
Goodbye Health Service goodbye (repeat, fade).

Below is the Everly Brothers singing Bye Bye LOve with the lyrics on the screen:

In truth I cannot see any difference between the 1991 version and the version I submitted to NewsRevue in the spring of 1992. I might have just described it as an updated version. Sneaky.

Henry IV Parts One & Two by William Shakespeare, Royal Shakespeare Theatre, Part Of A Back-Aching Weekend In Stratford With Bobbie, 27 to 29 September 1991

Back in the day, when I didn’t look much like the bard, Bobbie and I were partial to a bit of Shakespeare.

This sounded like the real deal, with Robert Stephens as Falstaff and Michael Maloney as Hal. A little-known (at that time) actress Linda Bassett played Mistress Quickly and Adrian Noble directed the thing.

Besides, I had studied Henry IV Part One for my English ‘O’ Level, so obviously I knew what I was talking about.

Here is a link to the Theatricalia entry for Henry IV Part One – which we saw on Friday 27 September.

My log for Henry IV Part One reads:

Back-aching but worth it

Whereas for Henry IV Part Two, which we saw on Saturday 28 September, it reads:

Seriously back-aching but still worth it

Here is a link to the Theatricalia entry for Henry IV Part Two.

Both plays were long – hence the back ache. I was still suffering the aftermath of my multiple lower back disc prolapses the previous year.

They were very good productions though.

Below is Michael Coveney’s Observer review of Henry IV Part One:

Coveney on Henry IV Part OneCoveney on Henry IV Part One Sun, Apr 21, 1991 – 56 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Michael Billington’s take on Part One in the Guardian

Billington on Henry IV Part OneBillington on Henry IV Part One Thu, Apr 18, 1991 – 26 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Kate Kellaway’s Observer review of Part Two

Kate Kellaway on Henry Part TwoKate Kellaway on Henry Part Two Sun, Jun 2, 1991 – 72 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Here’s Michael Billington in The Guardian ecstatic about the pair after seeing Part Two

Billington On Part TwoBillington On Part Two Sat, Jun 1, 1991 – 21 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

We stayed in an unmemorable B&B on the edge of town. I vaguely recall a bossy (i.e. rule-laden) owner.

I think we ate good food. Fatty Arbuckle’s or Lambs, and then The Glory Hole, if I recall correctly. I’m pretty sure the latter on the Saturday night because Henry IV Part Two was so darned, back-achingly long, there was only one eatery in Stratford open that late in those days.

We suffered for our art, going to Stratford, back then.

Mikhail Gorbachov, Comedy Lyric, 20 September 1991

I’d started writing comedy lyrics in earnest by September 1991, pretty much just to entertain friends and rehabilitate myself after best part of a year away from much socialising when my back was so very bad.

I rather like this one still. I particular like the idea of an un-named Soviet leader who no-one remembers any more. Konstantin Chernenko he was called. Thank you, Mr Google.

MIKHAIL GORBACHOV (to the tune of "My Boy Lollipop")
CHORUSES
Mikhail Gorbachov,
Came after Yuri Andropov,
And in between their tenures,
A bloke no-one remembers.
Oh, oh,
Mikhail Gorbachov,
Severely pissed the Russians off,
The crowd in Moscow pelts him,
Preferring Boris Yeltsin.
MIDDLE BIT
I love Petersberg and Moscow so,
But I’m not rush’n to go,
I’ve never been keen on Siberian snow,
Or the Gulag Archapeligo.
BACK TO THE CHORUSES
Mikhail Gorbachov,
Has more than just a nasty cough,
He needs to spend some time ‘ere,
Convalescing in Crimea.
Oh, oh,
Mikhail Gorbachov’s,
Surrounded by Kalashnikovs,
But there is no disputin’,
This man survives like Rasputin.
Mikhail Gorbachov.

Below is Millie Small singing My Boy Lollipop with lyrics on the screen:

The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Barbican Theatre, 14 September 1991

Stellar cast for this RSC production of the great Chekhov play. Alfred Burke, Simon Russell Beale, Amanda Root, John Carlisle, Susan Fleetwood, Roger Allam…to name but a few. In the capable hands of Terry Hands.

The Theatricalia entry for this one can be found here.

Bobbie and I both enjoyed this production a lot.

I hadn’t realised that this production was Terry Hands’s swansong for the RSC, but Nicholas de Jongh made much of that fact while praising the production in The Guardian:

De Jongh on SeagullDe Jongh on Seagull Sat, Jul 13, 1991 – 21 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com