Category: School Life

The First 40 Singles in My Collection, An Aside To Slipped Disc Posting, 10 August 1977

Set out neatly in a pdf from my iTunes here…First Forty Singles Landscape

…or quoted as a simple listing from my old Access database below.

001,Genie With The Light Brown,Shadows

001,Little Princess,Shadows

002,Shindig,Shadows

002,It’s Been a Blue Day,Shadows

003,Zero-G,Barry Gray

003,Fireball,Barry Gray

004,Playboy,Wailers

004,Your Love,Wailers

005,Funny,Ken Lazrus

005,Walk Like a Dragon,Byron Lee Orchestra

006,Simon Smith And The Amazing,Alan Price Set

006,Tickle Me,Alan Price Set

007,Our Love,Scrounger

007,So Here I Stay,Scrounger

008,Legalise It,Peter Tosh

008,Brand New, Second Hand,Peter Tosh

009,Stop It I Like It,Patti Boulaye

009,Kiss and Make Up Time,Patti Boulaye

010,Hard Work,John Handy

010,Young Enough To Dream,John Handy

011,Red Alert,Patti Boulaye

011,Without My Man Inside,Patti Boulaye

012,Juicy Fruit (Disco Freak) Pt I,Isaac Hayes

012,Juicy Fruit (Disco Freak) Pt I,Isaac Hayes

013,I Want More,Can

013,More,Can

014,All I Wanna Do In Life,Marianne Faithful

014,Wrong Road Again,Marianne Faithful

015,Do My Thing Myself,Glass Menagerie

015,Watching The World Pass By,Glass Menagerie

016,Jolie La Ville Curepipe,Alain Permal Mauritius Police Band

016,Danse Dans Mo Les Bras,Alain Permal Mauritius Police Band

017,Wonderful Dream,Anne-Marie David

017,Tu Te Reconnaitras,Anne-Marie David

018,C’est Ma Fete,Richard Anthony

018,Les Beaux Jours,Richard Anthony

018,Le Ciel Est Si Beau Ce Soir,Richard Anthony

018,Son Meilleur Copain,Richard Anthony

019,Le Roi D’Angleterre,Nino Ferrer

019,Il Me Faudra – Natacha,Nino Ferrer

019,Les Petites Jeunes Filles De Bonne Famille,Nino Ferrer

019,Monsieur Machin,Nino Ferrer

020,Slip And Slide,Medicine Head

020,Cajun Kick,Medicine Head

021,Desperate Dan,Lieutenant Pigeon

021,Opus 300,Lieutenant Pigeon

022,Casatschok,Dimitri Dourakine

022,Toi Toi Toi,Dimitri Dourakine

023,The Trouble,Silvers

023,Almost In Love,Silvers

024,What Do You Say About That,Phase 4

024,I’m Gonna Sit Down And Cry,Phase 4

025,Beautiful Sunday,Daniel Boone

025,Truly Julie,Daniel Boone

026,Ding-A-Dong,Teach-In

026,Let Me In,Teach-In

027,Any Dream Will Do,Max Bygraves

027,Close Every Door To Me,Max Bygraves

028,Back Home,England World Cup Squad 1970

028,Cinnamon Stick,England World Cup Squad 1970

029,I Fall To Pieces,Pat Dusky and the Marines

029,This Can Be The Night,Pat Dusky and the Marines

030,Turn On the Sun,Sandra Christy

030,How Can We Doubt,Sandra Christy

031,Agbogun G’Boro,Tunde Nightingale and his HighLife Boys

031,Kole Si Se,Tunde Nightingale and his HighLife Boys

032,Stop For The Music,Nutrons

032,The Very Best Things,Nutrons

033,Spinning Wheel,King Koss

033,Louisiana,King Koss

034,Blacksmith Blues,Birds of a Feather

034,Sing My Song And Pray,Birds of a Feather

035,It’s All Happening,Leapy Lee

035,It’s Great,Leapy Lee

036,Gonna Give Up Smoking And Take,Pipkins

036,Hole In The Middle,Pipkins

037,Wang Dang Doodle,Dr John

037,Big Chief,Dr John

038,Sacramento,Middle of the Road

038,Love Sweet Love,Middle of the Road

039,Goodnight Sweet Prince,Mister Acker Bilk

039,East Coast Trot,Mister Acker Bilk

040,Lucky Five,Russ Conway

040,The Birthday Cakewalk,Russ Conway

Execution Scenes, Coin Tossers And Miscellaneous Silliness Recorded With Paul Deacon, 12 April 1977

On this day in 1977, Paul Deacon and I recorded ourselves larking around, including, for some unknown reason, several takes of a scene emulating an execution at the time of the French Revolution.

I’ve no idea whether anyone other than me and Paul will find this four minute clip funny, but I laughed out loud many times on hearing it again.

I think my favourite bit is on take 4, when you hear my pseudo-Robespierre voice, once again, ask

“do you ‘ave anything to say?”

and you can hear my mother holler from the next room…

“yeh – shut up!”

…at which point Paul collapses in gales of laughter.

Some of the bits in several of the takes where Paul gets tongue-tied around his lines are pretty funny too.

I also laughed out loud at my third announcement of “take 5” – to announce two “take 5s” might be described as unfortunate, to announce three sounds like carelessness.  The juvenilia of a numbers man.

Suffice it to say that the unintended humour works better than the rather mawkish intended humour.

The guillotine sound comes from an actual guillotine…

…no, really…

…a paper one, which looked more or less exactly like this picture, which I have borrowed from an ebay sale long since closed – I’m sure the anonymous photographer/seller won’t mind – fair use for educational purposes blah blah:

Madame la Guillotine

The sound of the drum roll was made on a genuine Southern African bongo drum, a gift from my mother’s dear school friend, “Auntie” Elsie Betts who lived (I believe still lives) in South Africa. For reasons unknown, I took a superb photograph of that majestic drum:

Monsieur Le Bongodrum

The sound of the aristocrat’s head landing was, if I recall correctly, achieved with a white cabbage being dropped into a wastepaper basket. My mother used to make her own coleslaw to my father’s specification – with a light vinaigrette sauce, no mayonnaise nonsense for my dad’s slaw – it was a sort-of cross between sauerkraut and coleslaw really.

But I digress.

Point is, there would always have been a white cabbage conveniently on hand whenever the need arose for a head removal sound effect. The cabbage will have looked like one of these:

White cabbages at Asian supermarket in New Jersey

Paul and I made quite a few silly recordings over the years, but I believe only the one tape survives. Most of our recordings were recorded on the trusty Sony TC377, which looked like this…

…the tape for which was expensive and in demand in the Harris household (mostly by me to be honest), so much of the silly stuff will have been wiped over with other silly stuff or, eventually, something someone wanted to keep.

I meticulously digitised all the reel to reel tapes that survived (a few batches of tape were deteriorating before digitisation, so those tapes couldn’t be saved) but, as far as I can tell, none of the survivors had larking about material on them. Sorry.

So how or why did the 12 April 1977 material survive?

The answer is straightforward and signalled in the following diary page.

The relevant passage is 2 January 1977 – Bank Holiday Monday:

Went to Comet cassette deck. Great.

On that day, our reel-to-reel family bowed to the inevitable and procured a cheap (this is the January sales, isn’t it?) “solid state” cassette deck. It was not a special one. I think it was one of the following or similar –  I have borrowed the picture from an ebay sale long since closed – I’m sure the anonymous photographer/seller won’t mind – fair use for educational purposes blah blah:

While I think Paul and I probably recorded the coin tossers/execution scenes on the reel-to-reel (the clicks sound reel-to-reelish to me – Paul might know better), I at least made a copy or copies onto cassette following that 1977 reording session:

Below I have also embedded the 20 minutes or so of general larking around stuff that preceded the main takes. It’s not a particularly interesting listen; I think we must both have been in an especially silly mood that day. Paul might go through it and extract a few small snippets of value from it. I think there is a Cyril Vaughan impersonation on there somewhere and one or two other impersonations to boot.

The main “conceit” of the following preliminary piece is a spoof sports commentary on the world coin tossing competition. This appears to be a throw-back to an earlier, seminal event, in December 1974:

Breaking The World Record For Coin Catching With Paul Deacon, Woodfield Avenue, 30 December 1974

Anyway, here is twenty minutes of coin tossing, infantile giggling, some impersonations and some early attempts at the execution scenes. This recording is on the other side of the Execution Scenes cassette.

I have written all of this up in September 2018 at Paul Deacon’s request, as he is giving some sort of talk about careers to a women’s group in Canada, the country in which Paul and his family now reside.

Paul wondered if I had any relevant photos of us from that time, which I don’t really – sorry again. The only picture I can lay my hands on with both of us in it is the following, which Paul himself uploaded in our Alleyn’s alum group:

Paul on the right doing the bumping; me the recipient of the bumps. This might take some explaining to a genteel women’s group…

…but if they are instead a group of Canadian Women’s Ice Hockey players/supporters, the picture will look like childishly amateur violence, which it assuredly was.

While I denied all memory of this event when Paul first upped that picture, I have a vague recollection now of how those autumnal-looking bumps came about. I’ll Ogblog about that separately some other time.

This piece is about recordings of execution scenes and stuff. You haven’t yet listened to the four minute execution scenes clip? Here it is again for your convenience. Listen out for my mum as “best supporting actress” in take four.

Guest Piece by David Wellbrook: The Long Hot Summer Of ’76 – Recollections Of A 14-Year-Old With Special Appearance By A Lunatic Frenchman, c1 July 1976

With many thanks to David Wellbrook for this “guest piece”, lifted (with David’s permission) from his posting in the Alleyn’s 1970s Facebook Group – worth a visit if you are able for the comments – click here.

The Alleyn’s School water polo boys on a more appropriate pool mission

THE LONG HOT SUMMER OF ’76 – RECOLLECTIONS OF A 14-YEAR-OLD WITH SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY A LUNATIC FRENCHMAN

It was a stormy Thursday afternoon (are there any others?). Me, myself, and three others who shall remain nameless (Chris Grant, Ben Clayson and Kevin Blythe), were chortling over Paul Hayes’ Freudian slip from earlier. He had inadvertently called Miss Lynch “Mum” and we were marvelling at how well they had kept their relationship secret and for so long. All six of us were amazed at the audacity of the lad and thoughts were now turning to the identity of the father. Bob Skelly, Percy Kingman and Mrs. Barden were put forward for consideration but we were unable to agree. Each candidate received five votes and so we were at stalemate. After much deliberation, we opted for the time-honoured tie-breaker of rock, paper, scissors and as you might have expected, it landed on tails. (Doesn’t it always?) So, decision made, Dave Stretton it was then. Let’s face it, he must have inherited his cool from somewhere.

But I digest. To our gullible Frenchman: It was around this time that Chris used to import young French boys for his amusement and this particular lost soul went by the name of Gotier. He had, I believe, been imported once before, so having met us now on more than one occasion, really ought to have known better. However, we all found ourselves down at the swimming pool. It was a natural hangout for those of us who liked to swim and play water polo and seemed even more appropriate on what was quite possibly a very hot day. Gotier was sweating profusely. I think he knew what Chris had planned for later. He kept muttering strange French words under his breath. “Baguette” was a particular favourite of his I seem to recall. Anyhow, one of us happened upon the anarchic idea of enticing Gotier to jump into the swimming pool fully clothed, and on the strict understanding that he then had to travel home with us to Beckenham et les environs completement mouille.

“How much shall we offer him?” asked Clayson. “How much do we have on us?” asked Blythe. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” enquired Grant, forever and to this day our moral compass. He perhaps felt that if there was any dampness involved it should be of his making and no other. “Yes, it’s a cracking idea,” I chipped in. “And let’s make him cry Vive la France as he goes under.”

We gathered our resources and came up with the tidy sum of £4 and a few pence. We approached the hapless Gotier with our proposal and having explained to him that with exchange rates being as they were at the time, that £4 and a few pence was uncommonly generous, he agreed.

And so the stage was set. I was elected to distract Harry Whale and Alan Berry, who at that precise moment were taking it in turns to slipper a 12-year-old, whilst the others were assigned the arduous task of pacing out Gotier’s run up. And then the moment arrived. With a Gallic scream of “Un, deux, trois, allez…!” Gotier was off, legging it poolwards as if he had not a care in the world. He leapt, he might even have somersaulted I honestly can’t remember, and there was a mighty splash followed by the gurgled incantation of “Vive la France, Vive la France.” Let’s give the boy his due. He did not let us down. Good for him. Only honourable Frenchman I’ve ever met.

Gotier was duly rewarded with his £4 and a few pence which he kindly used to buy us Maynards wine gums and Coca Cola down by Herne Hill station.

To this day, that incident (which is 100% true by the way), is my most vivid recollection of the Summer of ’76. That and being arrested for shoplifting in Millets.

Another day perhaps…

 

When Fellow Pupil Sandy Rowswell Challenged Our Alleyn’s Schoolmaster Stephen “Mr Murder” Jenkins On The Veracity Of His Tales Of Visiting Tibet, Possibly Spring 1976

Stephen Jenkins was an Alleyn’s schoolmaster whose reputation preceded him. By the time my cohort entered his orbit, in the mid 1970s, he had a reputation for telling long-winded tales of psychic happenings, visits to far-flung places, UFOs, extra-sensory perception, ley lines…

…his 1977 book, The Undiscovered Country, can still be obtained from sellers of rare second hand books for under £100 at the time of writing (February 2020), a snip at the price I’m sure but I shall personally pass on that one. I’ve scraped one of the product descriptions to here in case the above link ceases to work…

…in short, he’d talk in lessons about pretty much anything other than the subject he was meant to be teaching.

“During the war…have I told you this anecdote before?…anyway…”

So why in the name of all that is good and pure was this fellow allocated to my third year class, 3BJ, to abstain from teaching us not just one but two key subjects; English and history?

Strangely and despite Stephen Jenkins contrary efforts, many of us managed to bounce back up to the A-stream after 3BJ. In my case, I ended up with Jenkins again, I think for history ‘O’Level (perhaps it was English – it really is impossible to recall what Jenkins was supposed to be teaching us) when I was in 4AT/5AT, so this anecdote about Sandy Rowswell might have happened a year or two later than I am guessing.

I should add, to avoid confusion, that the Alleyn’s Stephen Jenkins died some years ago and has nothing to do with the impressive LSE Professor of Social Policy who inadvertently shares his name.

Anyway, I clearly recall an incident in class when the Alleyn’s Stephen Jenkins was waxing lyrical about his latest trip to Tibet.

The incident has been brought back to my mind lately, because I have been Ogblogging the rather wonderful though gruelling trip that Janie and I made to Tibet in 2002 – click here or below for a sample page – feel free to read, look at the eye candy pictures and divert yourself from whatever you are supposed to be doing – it’s what Stephen Jenkins would have wanted:

Nepal, Tibet & Kerala Day Eight: Gyantse To Shigatse, 14 April 2002

In truth, I always liked Mr Jenkins’s tales of far-flung travel the best. I found the psychic and UFO stories hard to believe, I found the idea of ley-lines intriguing but unconvincing, but I did enjoy the tales from his travels. They were believable, enviable even…and I felt I was learning something useful…even if it wasn’t particularly useful for the purposes of progressing to O-level English or history.

Anyway, during a long Stephen Jenkins anecdote about his recent visit to Tibet, Sandy Rowswell chimed in by saying words to the effect of,

“sir, I don’t believe you. I don’t believe that you have ever been to Tibet.”

There was a hush in the classroom. One glance at Stephen Jenkins’s face and the self-styled sobriquet “Mr Murder” now looked very apt. Sandy Rowswell was ejected from the class and told in no uncertain terms that his punishment would be swift and merciless afterwards.

It seemed such a daft challenge to me. Of all the things Mr Jenkins waffled on about, the travels element was the only manifestly plausible aspect.

I don’t think Sandy Rowswell really got the idea of overseas travel…nor the idea of tempering one’s remarks about a subject whether one “gets it” or not.

My only other recollection of him was for another ill-considered remark, in 1979, soon after we confirmed that I was to join Anil Biltoo and his family in Mauritius that summer – a wonderful, life-changing experience for me that cemented a love of travel:

Confirmed Mauritius, The Overcrowded Barracoon, 10 April 1979

  I recall Sandy Rowswell approaching me and saying,

I hear you are going to Mauritius with Biltoo this summer?

When I confirmed that fact, Sandy Rowswell replied,

You wouldn’t catch me going to a place like that, having to stay in mud huts.

I laughed and shrugged it off, but word of this exchange must have reached Anil Biltoo from other sources, because Anil sheepishly raised the matter with me, pointing out that his family did not live in mud huts. I recall telling Anil that I really didn’t mind what sort of accommodation we’d be having.

There is a rumour that Sandy Rowswell went into the diplomatic service after leaving Alleyn’s. OK, the source of that rumour is the preceding sentence of this article, but a rumour is a rumour.

Returning to the Tibet veracity incident, I have no real reason to assume it took place on 18 May 1976, but while skimming my diary for clues, I did enjoy the entry for that day.

Great tennis won 6-4 6-4 with Driscoll.

Does that mean I beat Paul Driscoll 6-4 6-4 at singles, or does it mean that, partnering with Paul Driscoll, we beat some unfortunate others 6-4, 6-4? There is only one person in the entire world who might possibly remember the event (because I sure as hell cannot) – so I’m shouting out to Paul who will no doubt confirm a similar blank on this one. He probably doesn’t even remember that there was no water polo the next day, despite water polo having been far more his thing than mine..

But I am now digressing more than a typical Stephen Jenkins lesson. Click the link below for a chance to buy Stephen Jenkins book – you know you want to.

A Week At Alleyn’s School Featuring Sergeant Musgrave’s Dance by John Arden, 23 to 29 November 1975

Sergeant Musgrave’s Dance was the first Alleyn’s School play to feature its own girls. The school had just started to take sixth-form girls that year.

I am not writing up this “50 years ago” series with a view to running contemporary parallels, nor am I reading my juvenile diaries in advance of writing the next episode.

It therefore came as a pleasant surprise today (21 April 2026) to stumble across the Sergeant Musgrave’s Dance reference, as, just the other day, I spent time at Lord’s with John Fry – brother of Tom Fry, who played the eponymous lead in 1975.

John might choose to extract and share some memories and 50-years-ago reflections on that production from his brother Tom.

I’m delighted to be able to report that my two word diary review of the 1975 production was:

Excellent performances.

That indicates, as I remember it, that I thought more of the production than I did of the play. I am pretty sure that my parents profoundly disliked the play and wondered why it had been chosen.

I have subsequently read most of Arden’s plays and tried hard to get my head around them. My conclusion is that I like the idea of Arden’s plays and the ideas in them, far more than I like them as works of drama that I could imagine enjoying on the stage.

According to Michael Lempriere’s Scribblerus review, the original idea had been to produce Julius Caesar, but that was cancelled for technical reasons. Possibly the fear of Alleyn’s School kids inappropriately shouting from the audience, “infamy, infamy, they’ve all got it in for me” and such like, at key moments during the drama.

More seriously, and with far more balance than my two-word review, here is Michael Lempriere’s review in full:

As is the case for almost all of that term of school, the rest of my week is only sparsely covered in my diary:

Allow me to translate:

Sunday, 23 November 1975 – classes good. Feld’s row [This might have been an early rebellion by Grandma Anne in the matter of Mr Feld’s borscht tasting watery and her accusation that he was watering it down]. (Fortunately?) won 10p [at kalooki]. TV Upstairs Downstairs

Monday, 24 November 1975 – OK. TV Goodies, Waltons.

Tuesday, 25 November 1975 – all OK. Great film (mouse film) [The Mouse On the Moon], Musical Time Machine.

Wednesday, 26 November 1975 – all OK. CCF great. Went to Sergeant Musgrave’s Dance. Excellent performances. [The irony of CCF being great ahead of seeing Sergeant Musgrave’s Dance might have been wasted on me then but is not wasted on me now].

Thursday, 27 November 1975 – drama good. TV $6 Million Man, Get Some In, Q6

Friday, 28 November 1975 – all OK. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Pot Black, Porridge

Saturday, 29 November 1975 – school OK. TV Jerry Lewis film, very good. [3 Ring] Circus.

Half Term, Then Three More Weeks At Alleyn’s With Little To Say About School, Late October To Late November 1975

Alleyn’s School in 1922- OK it wasn’t THAT long ago

I really was saying very little in my diaries at that time, apart from documenting my TV viewing, which perhaps hold some interest for some readers.

I was clearly still enjoying drama and tried to enjoy CCF, despite not really being the type. I vaguely recall being made to try a bit of rugby that year, which I absolutely hated and Alleyn’s was in fact ill equipped to play. I think it was an experiment based on the notion that, once the school went co-ed, its chances of shining at football would be much diminished.

I recall trying to avoid house rugby as much as possible by playing fives whenever I could, but I had obviously resolved almost to stop writing about my sporting activities that term.

I wasn’t listening to much popular music that year, either. But the following song was an earworm then and can become an earworm again for you if you let it. It does remind me of that time and brings some of the vague memories back.

Listen while you skim my almost content-free diary entries. You’ll need something to stimulate the senses.

Sunday, 26 October 1975– Classes OK. Went to Felds. TV Carry On Laughing, Upstairs Downstairs.

Monday 27 October 1975 – nice day. TV Goodies, Waltons, Ghost Story.

Tuesday 28 October 1975 – OK, had haircut. Benny Hill great. Dr No!!! [This was the first time that film was shown on UK television, so it will have seemed like a big deal. Hence the exclamation marks!!!]

Wednesday, 29 October 1975 – went to Grandma Jenny. TV Carry On Cleo, Rule Britannia, Cooper, Face the music.

Thursday, 30 October 1975 – all OK. $6 million man, Get Some In, Morecombe & Wise.

Friday 31 October 1975 – mum went to hospital. Bonfire. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Sykes, Porridge.

Saturday 1 November 1975 – all OK. Went with “Auntie” Winifred [neighbour] with dogs. TV Dick Emery, Kojak, No Honestly.

Sunday 2 November 1975 – classes OK, lunch at Felds, mum and dad went out.

Monday 3 November 1975 – went back to school. TV Goodies, Waltons.

Tuesday, 4 November 1975 – all OK TV Tarzan.

Wednesday 5 November 1975 – good speaker? TV Carry On Screaming, Cooper, Face The Music, Till Death Us Do Part.

Thursday, 6 November 1975 – OK. Drama good. TV $6 million man, Ken Dodd, Get Some In, Q6.

Friday, 7 November 1975 – OK. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Sykes, Porridge.

Saturday 8 November 1975 – OK. TV Doctor Who, Basil Brush, Dick Emery, early night

Sunday, 9 November 1975 – classes play. TV Carry On Laughing, Upstairs Downstairs, FBI Story.

Monday 10 November 1975 – all OK TV, Angels, Waltons.

Tuesday, 11 November 1975 – swimming good. TV film good James Garner, Debbie Reynolds [How Sweet It Is (1968)].

Wednesday, 12 November 1975 – lecture. CCF good. TV Carry On Spying, Cooper, Rule Britannia, Face The Music.

Thursday 13 November 1975 – drama good. TV $6 million man and Get Some In Q6 is rotten.

Friday, 14 November 1975 – music good. TV Invisible Man, Pot Black, Porridge.

Saturday, 15 November 1975 – school. After Grandma Anne. TV Dick Emery, Kojak

Sunday, 16 November 1975 – went to Southend. Dined at El Cordola. TV Carry On Laughing, Upstairs Downstairs.

Monday, 17 November 1975 – all OK. TV Goodies, Odie v good, Waltons – a goodie goodie program.

Tuesday, 18 November 1975 – got cold. TV Big Film – platinum robbery [The Biggest Bundle Of Them All], Musical Time Machine.

Wednesday, 19 November 1975 – all OK. Mum and Dad went out. TV Superstars and Cooper, played Monopoly. [Unnamed babysitter will have been one of the Aarons youngsters, almost certainly].

Thursday, 20 November 1975 – OK. Drama good. TV $6 million man, Get Some In, Q6, Miss World, Fiddler onto recorder. [That will be Cyril Barnet’s recording of Fiddler On the Roof in Yiddish.]

Friday, 21 November 1975 evening rows. [Must have been a family gathering at Grandma Anne’s I think. Unless we had our own mini domestic. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Pot Black, Sykes, Porridge.

Saturday 22 November 1975 – exeat. Morning table tennis [that must be at Andy Levinson’s place]. Evening saw Iolanthe. [Was this at school or was it at Sadler’s Wells? I can find no reference to it in Scriblerus, nor in a press search for autumn 1975 come to that].

I could use a bit of help with writing up this period. Any memories from people who were in my orbit at that time will be gratefully received.

Four Term Time Weeks: Little Of Note Except For Mystery Operations & Leaflets With Mr Jenkins & Controversy Over Controversy, Late September To Late October 1975

Operations? Leaflets? It could only be Mr Jenkins.

I’m hoping that some of my Alleyn’s schoolmates can disambiguate the handful of words in this four week period that might refer to interesting stuff going on at school. Frankly, I’m flummoxed.

Here’s the transcript of my multi-coloured scribbles, mostly documenting my TV viewing, but the passing comments on goings on at school might trigger some memories.

Sunday, 28 September 1975 – Dined at Feld’s. TV Upstairs Downstairs.

Just in case anyone wants an explainer for the quirky eatery that was Feld’s – here’s one I wrote earlier.

A Few Days In London Between Keele & Manchester, 14 to 19 December 1980

Monday 29 September 1975 – all OK. TV Goodies, Angels, Waltons.

Tuesday, 30 September 1975 – went swimming. Got cold. TV Tarzan.

Wednesday 1 October 1975 – uneventful day. CCF.

Thursday, 2 October 1975 – did operation leaflet. TV Two Ronnies, Man About The House, Morecombe & Wise.

Friday, 3 October 1975 – uneventful. TV Invisible Man, Dad’s Army, Liver Birds.

Saturday, 4 October 1975 – Exeat. TV Generation Game, Dick Emery, Kojak.

Sunday, 5 October 1975 – went to classes. In top class.

Monday, 6 October 1975 – OK. TV Goodies, My Son Reuben, Waltons.

Tuesday, 7 October 1975 – swimming good. TV Tarzan.

Wednesday, 8 October 1975 – CCF terrible. -> Callow?. It’s A Knockout best day.

Thursday, 9 October 1975 – drama good. TV Two Ronnie, Man About The House, Morecombe and Wise.

Friday, 10 October 1975 – all OK. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Dad’s Army, Liver Birds, Fawlty Towers.

Saturday, 11 October 1975 all OK. TV big film / Bad Day At Black Rock, Dick Emery.

Sunday, 12 October 1975.– Went to Angela and John’s for tea.

Monday, 13 October 1975 – had more slides from Jenkins. TV Goodies, Reuben, Waltons.

Tuesday, 14 October 1975 – uneventful. Swimming good.

Wednesday, 15 October 1975 – OK. Corps very good. TV It’s a Knockout Final – we came fifth.

Thursday, 16 October 1975 – OK. Delivered leaflets. TV Two Ronnies, Get Some In and Morcombe & Wise.

Friday, 17 October 1975 – speech day, half day. TV Invisible Man, Liver Birds, PC Penrose.

Saturday, 18 October 1975 – OK. TV [Secret Of The] Incas, Dick Emery, Kojak.

Sunday, 19 October 1975 – classes. TV Upstairs Downstairs.

Monday, 20 October 1975 – TV Goodies, Waltons, Controversy.

Tuesday, 21 October 1975 – swimming good. TV Tarzan and the Fountain of Youth.

Wednesday, 22 October 1975 – CCF good. TV Carry On Doctor, Rule Britannia, Tommy Cooper & Face The Music.

Thursday, 23 October 1975 – drama good, TV Two Ronnies (last in series), Get Some In, Morecombe & Wise.

Friday, 24 October 1975 – field day (CCF) TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Sykes, Porridge, Fawlty Towers

Saturday 25 October 1975 Half term. TV Basil Brush, Doctor Who, Bruce Forsyth, Film [Judith], Dick Emery, Kojak, No Honestly.

Here’s my list of questions:

  • what do I mean by “operation leaflet” on 2 October, “had more slides from Jenkins” on 13 October and “delivered leaflets” on 16 October?;
  • who was “Callow” – who seems to be the source of my feeling terrible about CCF that day? Parenthetically, I sense that CCF was not for me, but my dad will have told me to “man up” about it, which resulted in me trying to make the most of it after that.

As for Controversy, I remember those programmes. They were compulsory viewing in our household. Here’s a link to an explainer. I have embedded the clip below.

The thing I remember more than anything else about this Controversy programme was my mother’s obsessive hatred of anyone pronouncing that word “contro-versy” rather than, as she asserted, the proper pronunciation, “controver-sy”. I still wouldn’t dare pronounce it the “wrong” way, even to this day – that would be too controversial by far.

Welcome To 3BJ, The First Three Weeks Of My Third Year At Alleyn’s, Ending With My First Sighting Of Fawlty Towers, 7 to 27 September 1975

Mike Jones ponders our imminent arrival in his class – thanks Mike for the photo

I’ve been finding it difficult to start writing up my third year at Alleyn’s; 1975/1976. My diary for the 1974/1975 academic year was full of juicy details of my activities.

But it seems, after all the excitement of my 1975 summer, I returned to school in September 1975 in a different mood – at least in the matter of keeping my diary. I’m needing to rely more on my fading memory for this period of my life and hope for some informed comment from readers.

For example, whereas I wrote down the “cast list” for my 1S and 2AK years, I had “grown out of” doing that by the 3BJ era – which is a blithering shame.

Also, I think I was under the parental…by which I mean maternal…cosh, having made a mess of my year end exams that summer and finding myself in a B stream class. “Get the back up to the A stream,” was the familial message, with some new rules at home to encourage homework and discourage loafing.

You wouldn’t have messed with my mum either. Cruel spectacles.

I’m not convinced that sparse diarising was entirely necessary in my mission to do better at school that year. But the diarising was more sparse and the school results were better.

Here are the first three weeks of September:

I realise that most of that is beyond legibility and/or interpretation, so here goes with my best efforts.

Sunday, 7 September 1975 – Rosh Hashanah [Jewish New Year, day two in this instance].

Monday, 8 September 1975 – uneventful day.

Tuesday, 9 September 1975 – last day [of school holidays. Not the end of the world.] Stuart and Andy [both from our street – Stuart Harris was not a relation and was a Whitgiftian, Andy Levinson was a fellow Alleyn’s pupil].

Wednesday, 10 September 1975 – first day [of school]. 3BJ. Mr Jones.

Thursday, 11 September 1975–1st proper day at school.

Friday, 12 September 1975 – school good. TV Dad’s Army, Liver Birds.

Saturday, 13 September 1975 – school morn. After library. TV Gambit, Dick Emery, Kojak.

Sunday, 14 September 1975 – Kol Nidre [evening prayers to herald the Day of Atonement] in evening.

Monday, 15 September 1975 – Yom Kippur [Day of Atonement].

Tuesday, 16 September 1975 – catching up only today.

Wednesday, 17 September 1975 – uneventful day. Good results school.

Thursday, 18 September 1975 – more good results. TV $6 million man, Two Ronnies, Man About The House.

Friday, 19 September 1975 – uneventful day. TV Dad’s Army, Liver Birds, Stanley Baxter III.

Saturday, 20 September 1975 – school morning. TV Generation Game.

Sunday, 21 September 1975 – no classes. Dined at Feld’s. TV Upstairs Downstairs.

Monday, 22 September 1975 – school OK. TV Goodies, Angels, Waltons etc.

Tuesday, 23 September 1975 – did swimming good. Telepathy. TV Pink Panther

Wednesday, 24 September 1975 – swimming. Went to Aviv meeting [one of mum’s charities. I cannot imagine why I went with her, unless dad had something on that evening and mum didn’t want to fork out for a sitter!].

Thursday, 25 September 1975. Got CCF [Combined Cadet Force] kit. TV Two Ronnies, Man About The House, Morecombe & Wise.

Friday 26 September 1975 – uneventful. TV Invisible Man, Dad’s Army, Liver Birds, Fosters Tower [sic – that can only be Fawlty Towers]

Saturday, 27 September 1975 – school morning. TV Dick Emery, Kojak.

Hard to believe that I didn’t even register the name Fawlty Towers correctly when I first saw it.

It was the episode about The Builders and I remember it tickling me no end. My parents didn’t like it much. Dad found Basil Fawlty irritating, reminding him of some of the twerps he had to deal with in running his business. You can decide for yourselves, if you hadn’t made up your minds already – see embed below.

An Uneventful Week (Apart From Watching The Test) Before Starting My Third Year At Alleyn’s, 1 to 6 September 1975

So much wrong with that technique – but the enthusiasm is there for all to see

After all the excitement of my summer, I went into a very subdued diary mood for some weeks/months after our return.

This diary page, which covers the week between returning from Europe and school restarting, sets the tone.

It barely needs transcribing, but I am a diligent transcriber:

Monday, 1 September 1975 settled in. Watched test. Went to library. [TV] Angels, The High Chaparral.

Tuesday, 2 August 1975 – uneventful day. TV Tarzan, New York, Quo Vadis.

Wednesday, 3 August 1975 – uneventful

Thursday, 4 September 1975 – uneventful

Friday, 5 September 1975 – uneventful

Saturday, 6 September 1975 – Rosh Hashanah [Jewish New Year].

I think we need to do some more forensics on that cricket photo. Here’s a link to the test match scorecard. The umpires were Tom Spencer and Dickie Bird (whom I had the honour and pleasure to meet once – some 40 years after the events of this piece):

A Visit To Leeds For Yorkshire v Middlesex, Headingley, 8 to 10 June 2015

I’m 98% sure that the umpire on the TV screen is Tom Spencer and I’m 100% sure that the wicket-keeper was Rod Marsh, who kept all day that Monday.

The unmistakable stoopy stance of Umpire Spencer on the TV screen.

But who batting? Yes, me, obviously, in front of the screen. I mean on the screen. I have narrowed it down to being John Snow or Barry Wood and I think the answer is John Snow. Cricket lovers – chime in with your thoughts.

It was an unusual match, as they had put aside six days for that Oval test match, used all six but still ended up with a draw.

I sense that even I lost interest after a burst of watching (and having my photo taken), probably quite early on the Monday.

Anyone know what game this is/was?

As an only child, one of my favourite pastimes was working out how to play solitaire versions of the board games in my collection. I have no idea what this game was, let alone how I had worked out a solitaire version of it. My favourite solitaire game was my very own version of Cluedo – the conceit of the solitaire version is long-since forgotten but I remember being fascinated by it for some while.

I suspect that the test match was on the TV while I was indulging in this additional activity. In that respect, I don’t suppose I have changed much, although the additional activity has changed.

As for the TV viewing – I don’t remember the TV drama Angels about student nurses at all. But I certainly remember The High Chaparral. My dad was very keen on it too. Do you fancy getting the theme tune stuck in your head – only click the YouTube embed if you do.

On rehearing The High Chaparral theme, it sounds very much like Joe Meek’s extraordinary instrumental Telstar (famously performed by the Tornados), in the style of Elmer Bernstein’s wonderful theme music for The Magnificent Seven.

I learn, on doing a little further research, that the resemblance between The High Chaparral theme and Telstar has been discussed at length over the decades. One surprising thing, to me, is that I didn’t notice the similarity when Paul Deacon first played me Telstar, which must have been around or very soon after my High Chaparral watching era.

Ironically and tragically, Joe Meek never saw the royalties for Telstar, as a French composer, Jean Ledrut, sued Meek for plagiarism – without success but to some extent understandably – on account of La Marche d’Austerlitz.

Meek died just three weeks before that law suit was found in his favour. Thus he never got a chance to test his own claim against David Rose, who composed The High Chaparral theme, if indeed Meek would have chosen to try such a claim.

Thoughts on these matters will, as always, be much appreciated, whether from my contemporaries or indeed from anyone who stumbles across this page and has a view on any of these topics.

Getting Ready To Go On Holiday After My Big Day, 11 to 16 August 1975

It seems I spent a fair bit of time with Andy Levinson in the few days between my Bar Mitzvah and going on holiday. Here’s the transcript of the headline picture’s diary scribble

Monday, 11 August 1975 – Andy all day. TV Star Trek, My Honourable Mrs, Yuri Geller and psycho film.

Actually the “psycho film” was Pressure Point with Bobby Darin & Sidney Poitier:

Tuesday, 12 August 1975 – Andy morning. TV Tarzan. Uncle Dick in the evening.

Guess who’s coming to dinner? Uncle Dick! He wasn’t my uncle, but was, I think, next door neighbour Rose Beech’s brother. Very nice chap who had been a POW during the war and needed careful feeding as a result. I’m guessing the the Beeches went away straight after my Bar Mitzvah and mum promised to feed Dick at least once in the days before we also went away.

It was that sort of neighbourliness in that area in those days.

Wednesday, 13 August 1975 – uneventful day. All OK.

Thursday, 14 August 1975 – went to West End to get tickets.

Friday 15 August 1975 – fired Jeanette. Went to Grandma Anne’s.

What on earth can “fired Jeanette” mean? I can only surmise that she was our cleaner for a short while, as I have no recollection of her. Mrs Nugent “Nu-Nu” was our cleaner for many years – most of childhood, followed by Mrs Main who also stuck with mum (and vice versa) for donkey’s years. I’ll guess that Jeanette was one that didn’t work out between the two I remember.

Just to be clear, it will not have been me who did the firing. It will have been mum. I just dutifully recorded the HR proceedings in my diary.

Saturday 16 August 1975 – uneventful. Preparation. TV [Sgt.] Bilko and Crown Court.

I don’t mention watching Days One to Three of the Headingley test, but I know I watched some of it. On the Saturday, Bilko was on the TV before the start of play; Crown Court after stumps. What else would I have done on an uneventful day?

The reason I am sure I saw some of it is that I recall my sense of horror when I learnt, on holiday, what had occurred while I was away from the match after those first three days. England looked very well placed at that stage.

Trigger warning: only look at the final scorecard – linked here – if you are sufficiently robust and/or if word of this ridiculous denouement has reached you previously.