Category: Theatre

Sex In My Anorak by John Random & Others (Including Me), Opening Night, Canal Cafe Theatre, 2 June 1993

Janie joined me (and I’m sure quite a few of my NewsRevue writer friends) for the opening night of this show, conceived by John Random.

I think the idea of it was to be a showcase for revue material that John and others of us sometimes wrote that was not ideally suited to the topical NewsRevue show.

I have a couple of pieces of paper about the show, one of which tells me that I forked out some dosh to angel the show.

I cannot remember how much, if any, of that cash came back to me. John might have information on’t.

Here’s the other artifact, which was a sort of interim newsletter which also gives some clues as to the conceit (if that is the right word) of the show.

I also cannot remember how many, if any, of my lyrics found their way into this show.

In fact, the item I remember most clearly about this show is an idea that John in the end didn’t use, which was the idea of performing Spike Jones’s version of the Hawaiian War Chant live.

It would have been wicked hard to stage well with four performers and one pianist. But John and I both still regret that the idea got…as it were…spiked.

I do remember one of John’s numbers, which I think was the closing number, named Living In A Cliche, which was a spoof of Bon Jovi’s Livin’ On A Prayer.

Gosh, yes, that track is simply asking for the John Bon Random treatment.

I wonder whether John still has running orders and/or other materials pertaining to Sex In My Anorak. I do remember thinking the show was rather good.

Postscript: a few months ago we had a discussion about this show and also about Bish Bash Bosh on Facebook in the NewsRevue group – click here for link. Nick R Thomas in particular remembered some interesting stuff about Anorak:

I had a co-written sketch about cats. If I remember correctly, the sketch I wrote with Bournemouth writer Gary Mitchell was about the Cats Protection League actually being a protection racket run by cats.

John had a wonderful running song sketch throughout based on 2Unlimited but featuring nuns, eg “No no, no-no no no, no-no no no, no-no sex before marriage”.

Come to think of it, this No Limit number was also simply asking for the 2Johnlimited Random treatment.

All My Sons by Arthur Miller, The Questors Theatre, 22 May 1993

Once bitten but seemingly not twice shy, here was another evening at the Questors with Pauline, Janie’s mum. Quite soon after the previous visit to see The Real Thing:

The Real Thing by Tom Stoppard, The Questors Theatre, 3 April 1993

On this occasion, I had been at a BDO Awayday on the Friday and overnight into the Saturday. This might have been the one after which Steve Taylor nearly lost his life in a car accident driving off to play cricket on the Saturday, but perhaps that was an earlier one.

I too was taking risks with my next day activities, but a different family of risks.

Anyway, according to Janie’s diary, she took work on the Saturday morning and gave blood that afternoon, before our evening engagement with her mum…

…that really is like giving blood twice in one day – not recommended.

Much like with The Real Thing, Janie and I got the opportunity, about seven years later, to see a tippy-top professional production of this fine play – in the case of All My Sons, one of Arthur Miller’s finest.

The Questors production was not at all bad, though.

No drinks at Pauline’s before this one – I think Pauline set into what became the regular pattern of “fairness”, which was:

  • Pauline did The Questors tickets
  • Janie paid for the drinks at The Questors
  • I paid for the restaurant meal afterwards.

I learnt some years later that, as a member of The Questors, Pauline got a certain number of free tickets for shows and I am pretty sure she calibrated her membership/invitations to ensure that she wasn’t actually paying for our tickets…ever.

Fair enough.

Janie’s diary reveals that we ate at Lisa’s after that particular show. Lisa served pretty good food on Pitshanger Lane, but my goodness did you get Lisa’s life story thrown in free of charge along with the food, especially if you were one of only a handful of late/after theatre tables.

Lisa’s was still there 20 years or so on, but now gone for good, I believe. Possibly just as well.

He Who Saw Everything by Robert Temple & Anon, Cottesloe Theatre, 14 May 1993

This piece was billed as:

fragments from The Epic of Gilgamesh…

…which made it rather interesting.

It was part of the Springboards thingie – we saw three of these studio pieces in two weeks – this was the third:

Daisy and I rated this one very good. Weird, though.

I don’t think the Observer reviewed this one, but the Guardian did – below is Michael Billington’s review of this piece.

Billio might choose to call his autobiography He Who Saw Everything, now I come to think of it.

Michael Billington He Who Saw Everything May 1993Michael Billington He Who Saw Everything May 1993 Sat, May 15, 1993 – 28 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Interesting stuff. It’s one of those nights at the theatre about which I remember little detail but it left a lingering impression on me nonetheless. I can still sort-of remember the sights, sounds and even smells of it.

Baby Doll by Andrew Poppy & Tennessee Williams, Cottesloe Theatre, 8 May 1993

This piece was billed as:

a new chamber opera based on the original screenplay…

…perhaps we should have paid heed to that billing.

It was not to our taste.

It was part of the Springboards season, of which we saw three productions at the Cottesloe in two weeks. This was the second of the three we saw.

Below is a review from The Guardian – opera review rather than theatre review please note:

Baby Doll May 1993Baby Doll May 1993 Tue, May 11, 1993 – 28 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

The Observer review can be seen as part of the article (including the picture) below:

Observer May 1993 CottesloeObserver May 1993 Cottesloe Sun, May 9, 1993 – 55 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

We stayed at mine that weekend. Whether I cooked or we got a takeway on the way home is lost in the mists of time.

I do recall Janie trying to sound like the atonal operatic voices in this misguided Baby Doll production for some while after the show.

Oh dear.

Somewhere by Judith Johnson, Cottesloe Theatre, 1 May 1993

Janie and I went threee times in a fortnight to see RNT Studio plays at the Cottesloe. This was the first of those three visits. It was a modern Liverpudlian play of the post-Thatcherism variety. We thought it was a very good play and really enjoyed (if that is the right word) this production.

Michael Church gave it a very good review in the Observer:

Observer May 1993 CottesloeObserver May 1993 Cottesloe Sun, May 9, 1993 – 55 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Michael Billington similarly applauded the project in The Guardian:

Billington Springboards May 1993Billington Springboards May 1993 Tue, May 4, 1993 – 23 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Arcadia by Tom Stoppard, Lyttelton Theatre, 17 April 1993

I liked this play and production far more than Janie did. Where I liked the intellectual aspects of the content, Janie found them pretentious and at times confusing.

Wikipedia gives a decent synopsis of the play – here.

Janie has never much liked plays that jump backwards and forwards in time, although, coincidentally, we saw Emma Fielding in a similarly time-shifting play recently (autumn 2019) which Janie really liked.

Michael Coveney revewed it the day after we saw it:

Sun, Apr 18, 1993 – 57 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

I think that’s one-nil to Janie in the “confusing rather than clever” stakes.

Michael Billington liked it more, I think:

Wed, Apr 14, 1993 – 26 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

The Real Thing by Tom Stoppard, The Questors Theatre, 3 April 1993

It must have been dawning on me and Janie that our thing was the real thing…

…because this was a night at the theatre with Pauline; Janie’s mum.

According to Janie’s diary, we had drinks at Pauline’s place at 6:00 before going off to The Questors for a 7:45 show.

All I wrote in my diary was “Questors”.

A notice from a local paper – click here.

Janie and I felt motivated to see a professional production of The Real Thing a few years later at the Donmar Warehouse.I recall the play working much better, especially for Janie, second time around.

Still, I don’t think the evening went too badly. I’m pretty sure I treated the pair of them to dinner after show, but I do not recall where and both our diaries are silent on the matter.

It almost certainly would have been either Wine & Mousaka, Lisa’s or Noughts & Crosses in those days. I don’t know why, but I think it was Wine & Mousaka that first time.

We all lived to tell the tale.

Saigon Rose by David Edgar, Orange Tree Room, 20 March 1993

Saigon Rose announcementSaigon Rose announcement Mon, Mar 1, 1993 – 26 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

The “programme” – or rather the single sheet of printed A4 you tended to get at the Orange Tree Room – went missing for this show, which is a shame.

It was one of three plays we went to see in that room above the Orange Tree Pub, which they kept going as a second venue for a while but stopped using I think later that year.

This was Janie’s and my first visit to The Orange Tree together…my first visit there full stop.

I was thrilled to encounter Ian Angus Wilkie in that cast. He had been in the cast of NewsRevue late spring the previous year and had been one of the first professional performers to perform one of my lyrics.

California Here I Go, NewsRevue Lyric, 23 April 1992

Chris Stanton still speaks of Ian Angus Wilkie as one of the best comedy actors with whom he has ever worked.

Despite the antiquity of this visit, I can find two reviews on-line:

Because there are no other resources, I have scraped the above pieces, for just  in case; Ian’s – click here...or Sarah’s – click here,

I cannot reconstruct the whole cast and creatives list, but we can ascertain that the cast included:

  • Michael Higgs;
  • Henrietta Garden;
  • Mairéad Carty;
  • Ian Angus Wilkie.

Rachel Kavanaugh directed.

I remember really liking this play and the production and really liking The Orange Tree Room. It reminded me a bit of The Gate, a small fringe venue of which I was already fond.

Did they really make more money turning that prime space into hotel rooms?…

…no need to answer that question.

The Game Of Love And Chance by Pierre Marivaux, Cottesloe Theatre, 20 February 1993

The Theatricalia entry for this production can be found here.

What a cast: Maggie Steed, Trevor Baxter, Caroline Quentin, Peter Wingfield, Stefan Bednarczyk, Marcello Magni. Joint directors Mike Alfreds and Neil Bartlett.

No wonder I was keen to see it.

Still, I don’t think Janie and I were wild about this one. I was fast learning that Janie doesn’t like classics as much as she likes modern pieces, nor does she like farce. Marivaux was never likely to float Janie’s boat.

Yet worse, from a “what Janie does and doesn’t like” point of view, this production had re-located the piece in the 1930’s, adding a Cowardesque flavour to it that didn’t go down well with the reviews that are currently ( as I write in 2019) on-line/clippable.

Despite that, the sheer weight of talent on show carried the day for us, as we both found the production entertaining and could not question its quality of production.

Below is Michael Billington’s review from the Guardian:

Billington Game Of LoveBillington Game Of Love Wed, Jan 13, 1993 – 26 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Michael Coveney’s review from the Observer:

Coveney Game Of Love & ChanceCoveney Game Of Love & Chance Sun, Jan 17, 1993 – 47 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Comedy In The Zone, An Unintentional Sketch In Earls Court, Then Canal Cafe Theatre For Swing Low Sweet Testicles by Noel Christopher, Then NewsRevue Christmas Run, 17 December 1992

I was reminded of this day in conversation with John Random in February 2021. I have just received a bundle of scripts and ephemera from Erica Stanton, Chris Stanton’s widow, including materials pertaining to the show, Swing Low Sweet Testicles.

John reflected on the show and mentioned a diary note about promoting the show on 15 December. I remembered seeing the show at that time, checked my diary and discovered that I saw the show on 17 December.

Below is the B-Side of the flyer for that show. The reviews must relate to an earlier Noel Christopher extravaganza, known simply as The Show, scripts for which also arrived in Erica’s bundle.

Swing Low Sweet Testicles itself mustered at least one decent review:

Can’t imagine where City Limits got that date range from – it ran from December 9th 1992 to January 17th 1993.

The cast and crew were NewsRevue stalwarts and most had been somewhat involved in my early successes with that mob.

Brian Jordan, who directed “Testicles“, had debuted my material at Edinburgh that summer, with The Ultimate Love Song in his show Whoops Vicar Is That Your Dick? He was partial to a good nob title, was Brian.

Even earlier in my so-called writing career, the late great Chris Stanton had been the first professional performer to tread the boards with one of my lyrics.

I don’t think that Cliff Kelly had yet overlapped with my material in NewsRevue, but I might be mistaken.

Chloe Lucas had done a magnificent job of belting my Coal Digger song in the Autumn NewsRevue run preceding Swing Low Sweet Testicles. I’m pretty sure that the Coal Digger song, along with a couple of my others, was in the Christmas run of NewsRevue which I saw (for a second time) after Testicles.

Anyway, I rather enjoyed Swing Low Sweet Testicles. I was partial to Noel’s writing and was glad of the opportunity to see some of his less-topical, more-enduring material.

Below is the programme for the NewsRevue show that night, which I stayed on to see for a second time, having seen the opening night on 26 November.

Earlier That Day…Getting Into The Zone

My diary also records a memorable working day. Memorable for inadvertent, comedic reasons.

I was working as a management consultant for Binder Hamlyn at that time. On that day, I accompanied the National VAT Partner, Alan Buckett, to visit a large European Manufacturing Group, whose UK headquarters were out on the M4 corridor, to help them get their heads around something or other.

We were done with that by lunchtime and Alan suggested stopping for a bite to eat in Earls Court – a convenient stop on the way back to the City for him and a short hop to home for me, as I had an early-evening engagement with Testicles and didn’t want to go back to the City.

Alan parked his car and we walked down the Earls Court Road, in search of a wine bar/restaurant someone had recommended to him.

Ah, there it is…

…said Alan, striding towards the place he had been aiming towards.

But instead of walking down the stairs to, as I could see it, the entrance to the wine bar in question, Alan marched up the stairs and into…

Clonezone. I believe it is accurate to describe that particular store as a Gay fetishist fashion emporium.

35 Years Of Clonezone

I tried to stop him, but Alan had his stomp on and disappeared into the shop.

I waited outside for what seemed ages but was probably only a few seconds.

The tall, besuited Alan, who normally looked every inch a City gent, retreated from Clonezone rather sheepishly.

I smiled.

Alan and I went into the wine bar restaurant for a light lunch and a debrief.

Towards the end of the lunch, Alan said,

When you get back to the office, I’d just prefer it if you didn’t mention…

…I said that his Clonezone secret was safe with me. Alan is long-since retired now and I’m pretty sure, if he remembers the story at all, it’d be the funny side of it that has stuck in his mind.

Alan might well have shocked the clones within as much as they (and the place) shocked him.