The First 40 Singles in My Collection, An Aside To Slipped Disc Posting, 10 August 1977

Set out neatly in a pdf from my iTunes here…First Forty Singles Landscape

…or quoted as a simple listing from my old Access database below.

001,Genie With The Light Brown,Shadows

001,Little Princess,Shadows

002,Shindig,Shadows

002,It’s Been a Blue Day,Shadows

003,Zero-G,Barry Gray

003,Fireball,Barry Gray

004,Playboy,Wailers

004,Your Love,Wailers

005,Funny,Ken Lazrus

005,Walk Like a Dragon,Byron Lee Orchestra

006,Simon Smith And The Amazing,Alan Price Set

006,Tickle Me,Alan Price Set

007,Our Love,Scrounger

007,So Here I Stay,Scrounger

008,Legalise It,Peter Tosh

008,Brand New, Second Hand,Peter Tosh

009,Stop It I Like It,Patti Boulaye

009,Kiss and Make Up Time,Patti Boulaye

010,Hard Work,John Handy

010,Young Enough To Dream,John Handy

011,Red Alert,Patti Boulaye

011,Without My Man Inside,Patti Boulaye

012,Juicy Fruit (Disco Freak) Pt I,Isaac Hayes

012,Juicy Fruit (Disco Freak) Pt I,Isaac Hayes

013,I Want More,Can

013,More,Can

014,All I Wanna Do In Life,Marianne Faithful

014,Wrong Road Again,Marianne Faithful

015,Do My Thing Myself,Glass Menagerie

015,Watching The World Pass By,Glass Menagerie

016,Jolie La Ville Curepipe,Alain Permal Mauritius Police Band

016,Danse Dans Mo Les Bras,Alain Permal Mauritius Police Band

017,Wonderful Dream,Anne-Marie David

017,Tu Te Reconnaitras,Anne-Marie David

018,C’est Ma Fete,Richard Anthony

018,Les Beaux Jours,Richard Anthony

018,Le Ciel Est Si Beau Ce Soir,Richard Anthony

018,Son Meilleur Copain,Richard Anthony

019,Le Roi D’Angleterre,Nino Ferrer

019,Il Me Faudra – Natacha,Nino Ferrer

019,Les Petites Jeunes Filles De Bonne Famille,Nino Ferrer

019,Monsieur Machin,Nino Ferrer

020,Slip And Slide,Medicine Head

020,Cajun Kick,Medicine Head

021,Desperate Dan,Lieutenant Pigeon

021,Opus 300,Lieutenant Pigeon

022,Casatschok,Dimitri Dourakine

022,Toi Toi Toi,Dimitri Dourakine

023,The Trouble,Silvers

023,Almost In Love,Silvers

024,What Do You Say About That,Phase 4

024,I’m Gonna Sit Down And Cry,Phase 4

025,Beautiful Sunday,Daniel Boone

025,Truly Julie,Daniel Boone

026,Ding-A-Dong,Teach-In

026,Let Me In,Teach-In

027,Any Dream Will Do,Max Bygraves

027,Close Every Door To Me,Max Bygraves

028,Back Home,England World Cup Squad 1970

028,Cinnamon Stick,England World Cup Squad 1970

029,I Fall To Pieces,Pat Dusky and the Marines

029,This Can Be The Night,Pat Dusky and the Marines

030,Turn On the Sun,Sandra Christy

030,How Can We Doubt,Sandra Christy

031,Agbogun G’Boro,Tunde Nightingale and his HighLife Boys

031,Kole Si Se,Tunde Nightingale and his HighLife Boys

032,Stop For The Music,Nutrons

032,The Very Best Things,Nutrons

033,Spinning Wheel,King Koss

033,Louisiana,King Koss

034,Blacksmith Blues,Birds of a Feather

034,Sing My Song And Pray,Birds of a Feather

035,It’s All Happening,Leapy Lee

035,It’s Great,Leapy Lee

036,Gonna Give Up Smoking And Take,Pipkins

036,Hole In The Middle,Pipkins

037,Wang Dang Doodle,Dr John

037,Big Chief,Dr John

038,Sacramento,Middle of the Road

038,Love Sweet Love,Middle of the Road

039,Goodnight Sweet Prince,Mister Acker Bilk

039,East Coast Trot,Mister Acker Bilk

040,Lucky Five,Russ Conway

040,The Birthday Cakewalk,Russ Conway

Strictly For The Unsquare, Paul Deacon aka Geoffrey Withers, 14 April 1977

Geoffrey Withers – he is strictly for the unsquare

I’m not entirely sure when Paul Deacon and I came up with the character “Geoffrey Withers”, but it was a long long time ago when we were very small.

For sure it was at my house, because the nonsense started when I played this track to Paul and we started riffing on the idea that an uber-old-fashioned DJ might consider the piece to be “strictly for the unsquare” and use it as his signature tune:

I’m pretty sure that Paul himself “christened” the character “Geoffrey Withers” and gave him his pompous voice. Paul has used this character on his radio shows, sporadically, for at least four decades.

I should get a few bob each time Paul uses the character but heck, life is too short and anyway it’s probably best to save up that potential law suit material for a big one downstream.

With apologies to those who believe in Santa and who believe that there really is a piece of music named “Strictly For The Unsquare”, but this piece is actually named “Pop Sequence” and is from an album named “Cine Mood Music”. How cool is that?

Well, it’s unsquare, anyway.

I’m not sure that Geoffrey was really born on 14 April 1977, but the diary says…

…Paul in afternoon…

…so it might well have been that day. I’ll guess it was around about then, anyhow.

Who’d have thought that such a mucking around session aged 14/15 would have led to a character who still (writing in 2018) pops up from time to time on Paul’s radio shows?

Weird. Warped. Awesome. Unsquare.

Execution Scenes, Coin Tossers And Miscellaneous Silliness Recorded With Paul Deacon, 12 April 1977

On this day in 1977, Paul Deacon and I recorded ourselves larking around, including, for some unknown reason, several takes of a scene emulating an execution at the time of the French Revolution.

I’ve no idea whether anyone other than me and Paul will find this four minute clip funny, but I laughed out loud many times on hearing it again.

I think my favourite bit is on take 4, when you hear my pseudo-Robespierre voice, once again, ask

“do you ‘ave anything to say?”

and you can hear my mother holler from the next room…

“yeh – shut up!”

…at which point Paul collapses in gales of laughter.

Some of the bits in several of the takes where Paul gets tongue-tied around his lines are pretty funny too.

I also laughed out loud at my third announcement of “take 5” – to announce two “take 5s” might be described as unfortunate, to announce three sounds like carelessness.  The juvenilia of a numbers man.

Suffice it to say that the unintended humour works better than the rather mawkish intended humour.

The guillotine sound comes from an actual guillotine…

…no, really…

…a paper one, which looked more or less exactly like this picture, which I have borrowed from an ebay sale long since closed – I’m sure the anonymous photographer/seller won’t mind – fair use for educational purposes blah blah:

Madame la Guillotine

The sound of the drum roll was made on a genuine Southern African bongo drum, a gift from my mother’s dear school friend, “Auntie” Elsie Betts who lived (I believe still lives) in South Africa. For reasons unknown, I took a superb photograph of that majestic drum:

Monsieur Le Bongodrum

The sound of the aristocrat’s head landing was, if I recall correctly, achieved with a white cabbage being dropped into a wastepaper basket. My mother used to make her own coleslaw to my father’s specification – with a light vinaigrette sauce, no mayonnaise nonsense for my dad’s slaw – it was a sort-of cross between sauerkraut and coleslaw really.

But I digress.

Point is, there would always have been a white cabbage conveniently on hand whenever the need arose for a head removal sound effect. The cabbage will have looked like one of these:

White cabbages at Asian supermarket in New Jersey

Paul and I made quite a few silly recordings over the years, but I believe only the one tape survives. Most of our recordings were recorded on the trusty Sony TC377, which looked like this…

…the tape for which was expensive and in demand in the Harris household (mostly by me to be honest), so much of the silly stuff will have been wiped over with other silly stuff or, eventually, something someone wanted to keep.

I meticulously digitised all the reel to reel tapes that survived (a few batches of tape were deteriorating before digitisation, so those tapes couldn’t be saved) but, as far as I can tell, none of the survivors had larking about material on them. Sorry.

So how or why did the 12 April 1977 material survive?

The answer is straightforward and signalled in the following diary page.

The relevant passage is 2 January 1977 – Bank Holiday Monday:

Went to Comet cassette deck. Great.

On that day, our reel-to-reel family bowed to the inevitable and procured a cheap (this is the January sales, isn’t it?) “solid state” cassette deck. It was not a special one. I think it was one of the following or similar –  I have borrowed the picture from an ebay sale long since closed – I’m sure the anonymous photographer/seller won’t mind – fair use for educational purposes blah blah:

While I think Paul and I probably recorded the coin tossers/execution scenes on the reel-to-reel (the clicks sound reel-to-reelish to me – Paul might know better), I at least made a copy or copies onto cassette following that 1977 reording session:

Below I have also embedded the 20 minutes or so of general larking around stuff that preceded the main takes. It’s not a particularly interesting listen; I think we must both have been in an especially silly mood that day. Paul might go through it and extract a few small snippets of value from it. I think there is a Cyril Vaughan impersonation on there somewhere and one or two other impersonations to boot.

The main “conceit” of the following preliminary piece is a spoof sports commentary on the world coin tossing competition. This appears to be a throw-back to an earlier, seminal event, in December 1974:

Breaking The World Record For Coin Catching With Paul Deacon, Woodfield Avenue, 30 December 1974

Anyway, here is twenty minutes of coin tossing, infantile giggling, some impersonations and some early attempts at the execution scenes. This recording is on the other side of the Execution Scenes cassette.

I have written all of this up in September 2018 at Paul Deacon’s request, as he is giving some sort of talk about careers to a women’s group in Canada, the country in which Paul and his family now reside.

Paul wondered if I had any relevant photos of us from that time, which I don’t really – sorry again. The only picture I can lay my hands on with both of us in it is the following, which Paul himself uploaded in our Alleyn’s alum group:

Paul on the right doing the bumping; me the recipient of the bumps. This might take some explaining to a genteel women’s group…

…but if they are instead a group of Canadian Women’s Ice Hockey players/supporters, the picture will look like childishly amateur violence, which it assuredly was.

While I denied all memory of this event when Paul first upped that picture, I have a vague recollection now of how those autumnal-looking bumps came about. I’ll Ogblog about that separately some other time.

This piece is about recordings of execution scenes and stuff. You haven’t yet listened to the four minute execution scenes clip? Here it is again for your convenience. Listen out for my mum as “best supporting actress” in take four.

Holiday In La Manga, Spain, With Mum And Dad, 21 August To 4 September 1976

This turned out to be our last family summer holiday together. The following year dad was brassic (skint) so we just did some day trips and stuff, e.g. Greenwich:

Visits To Greenwich and Brighton With Mum and Dad, 29 to 31 August 1977

Then the year after that, I did BBYO camps while mum and dad went off and did their own thing early autumn.

I turned 14 on this La Manga holiday and I do remember feeling, even at that tender age, that I had sort of outgrown those family holidays. I sensed that mum and dad wanted some prime time together and I was no longer intrigued by going off and doing stuff with random youngsters who just happen to be on holiday with you.

We stayed in the Hotel Entremares – not the sort of place I might stay in now, but it is still there and looks OK. Mixed reviews now.

The hotel (and to some extent the resort) was brand new then and I suspect my dad picked up a late booking at low cost for a place that hadn’t yet gained a reputation.

Clearly we were treated like visiting celebrities:

There is a movie for this holiday which, believe it or not, actually did yield some “famous for 15 minutes material” many years later, when Visa rewarded me handsomely enough and used some clips in one of their adverts and vines. Here is the whole movie:

Here’s the Visa ad, which shows dad slapping on the tanning oil:

While here is a link to the Vine (remember those) of me and mum looking silly on a pedalo.

This blond girl features in the movie too. I wonder whether I had latched on to the blond girl or whether she had latched on to me. Rohan Candappa probably wants me to track her down and write a story about her.

In those days La Manga was positioning itself for tennis in particular…

…but latterly (he says writing in February 2019) it has superb cricket facilities by all accounts – at least Middlesex CCC bowlers have just toddled off there to train.

In fact it was reading about Middlesex training in La Manga that made me reach for the 1976 file and Ogblog this holiday.

1976 was the cricketing year the the West indies thrashed England in every conceivable way. I missed the ODI thrashings by being in La Manga.

It also looks as though I missed a thrilling London derby at The Oval too – click here for the scorecard. I do like a match with a happy ending…

…and a season with a happy ending too – see the 1976 final table. So hopefully La Manga will be auspicious for Middlesex again in 2019.

Here is the full stack of photos from our 1976 family jaunt:

1976 La Manga 001

Start Of The School Holidays Of Summer 1976, Including A Visit To The Oval & Members Seats…But With Whom And Why? A Belated Alleyn’s School Field Trip, Perhaps?

Nano Banana 2.1 (AI) Depiction Of Surrey v Kent, Midweek, Oval, 1976. (My “small crowd, plenty of kids” description has been taken too literally – I love it!)

Saturday 10 July 1976 – went to A[nil] Biltoo for afternoon. TV Joan Crawford film [probably The Command, which was Joan Weldon, not Joan Crawford!].

Sunday 11 July 1976 – all OK. Lunched at Il Carretto. TV Once You Kiss a Stranger

Monday 12 July 1976 – went to Oval: members seats!! TV Star Trek, Get Some In.

This is Anil Biltoo’s first mention in my diary. In truth, I don’t remember our friendship forming until the following academic year, but clearly we had initiated our friendship towards the end of the 3rd year and saw each other more than once during the holidays that summer.

This photo of Anil from the summer of 1979, in Mauritius. The stick he is wielding is sugar cane.

Not a mystery, just one of those temporal slips that my memory tends to make.

The main memory slip mystery item from those first few days of the summer holidays is the visit to The Oval.

I most certainly remember the visit and I remember being shown around the pavilion, walking around no doubt open-mouthed at the pictures of great players and events from days of yore.

So stuck in my brain was the memory of being shown around, that it returned to me by way of a dream the night before my next visit to that pavilion – 21 September 2005.

Of course I had been to The Oval many times between those visits – not least nine days earlier, to see the magical 5th day of the 5th test of 2005. Other Ogblog pieces will/already do cover such other visits.

But the night before my visit to see Surrey v Middlesex, secure in the knowledge that my reciprocal member’s rights would enable me to use the pavilion, I dreamt of walking through that building. When I awoke, I wondered whether my dream had been an accurate representation of the place or just a dream-like replica. But when I got to the Oval and actually started walking around the pavilion, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, as I realised that my memory, in sleep, had accurately dredged almost every permanent detail of that building. It wasn’t a sense of deja vu – because I HAD been there before; more than 29 years before. If you had asked me 24 hours before that second visit to describe the inside of the building, I could not even faintly have done so.

The memory really is a weird thing.

Irritatingly, my memory has entirely suppressed…

…and my diary is no help with this…

…the answers to the following two questions:

  • WHY did I have members’ access on Monday 12 July 1976?
  • Who was I with for that visit?

My gut feeling is that it was a sort-of end of term Alleyn’s School field trip, organised a few days after the end of term to coincide with a match that was worth visiting. That sort of field trip has Colin Page’s fingerprints all over it.

Micky Stewart – after whom that pavilion is now named, is, of course, an Alleyn’s School alum. He might have been a helpful conduit for such a visit.

But in truth I don’t recall. I just remember the open-mouthed pavilion tour and watching what I thought to be some very good cricket. It cemented my view that I wanted to bowl like Intikhab Alum, if only I could work out for myself how to deploy leg (wrist) spin. Spoiler alert: I NEVER worked out how to deploy leg spin.

Here’s the scorecard from the match we saw in July 1976. I’m hoping the hive mind of the Alleyn’s folk who were with me that fine day can add to my memory of why we were there and what else happened.

After Exams…Results, Serenity, Swimming, School Activities & More, Late June To Early July 1976

Harry Wale, Paul Sherlock & Alleyn’s Boys Playing Water Polo

This piece is dedicated to the memory of our school mate, Mick Carroll, who tragically died in a swimming accident, 26 September 2026.

It really was a long hot summer that year. I sense that the school encouraged us towards the swimming pool to keep us cool after the exams that year.

Some while ago, David Wellbrook wrote (& kindly let me publish) a rather wonderful guest piece about the “what could possibly go wrong?” aspects of that school policy:

Guest Piece by David Wellbrook: The Long Hot Summer Of ’76 – Recollections Of A 14-Year-Old With Special Appearance By A Lunatic Frenchman, c1 July 1976

Here’s the extracts from my diary for those last few weeks of term.

Tuesday 22 June 1976 – all OK results flowing. Went to help U. George [May].

Wednesday 23 June 1976 – More good results. All serene.

I love the expression “all serene” to describe my feelings about my results being half-decent that year.

Thursday 24 June 1976 – Drama good. TV Porridge & Monty P & 2nd Verdict.

Friday 25 June 1976 – all OK Horniman museum great fun. Interesting.

Ah – I wondered when I wrote up Onkas Big Moka from December 1974 when I visited the Horniman Museum with the school and got to see some of those Melanesian male adornments in the flesh, as it were.

Ongka’s Big Moka, Television Documentary, 11 December 1974

Eighteen months later is the answer. Great fun and interesting it must have been indeed.

Saturday 26 June 1976 – school morn. Lazy afternoon. Lloyd [Green]evening.

Sunday 27 June 1976 – Classes sports day. 3rd in long jump. Dined at Il Carretto.

In my mind I had won the long jump, but I suppose coming 3rd was bronze, which was some sort of prize. I vaguely remember having a certificate for that result, which I kept for longer than the event/result deserved.

Monday 28 June 1976 – came 2nd in class, nice day. TV Star Trek, Get Some In.

Who came first in 3BJ, denying me the top spot? Come on, own up. I seem to have been content with coming second and quite right too.

Tuesday 29 June 1976 – computer, swimming. TV Man [About] The House (D), USA

Wednesday 30 June 1976 – swimming, computer. TV Chimpanzee film [The Barefoot Executive].

Thursday 1 July 1976 – went swimming. TV Porridge, Shadow Line [?].

Three days in a row when the main school matter to report was swimming, although I also note a couple of days fiddling with the computer. That was punch cards, punch tape, dial-up modems and all that palaver:

When computing just started to loom into our lives

Friday 2 July 1976 – went to G[randma] Anne’s, big Ida/Anthony row. TV Invisible Man, [It’s A] Knockout.

Rows involving Auntie Ida and Cousin Anthony were a regular feature of Harris family life back then. This was clearly a big one, given my clear description of it as such.

Saturday 3 July 1976 – exeat. Library morn, Wimbledon afternoon & evening.

“Wimbledon afternoon and evening” in those days would have meant glued to the TV watching the tennis. As a kid, I could only have dreamt of actually sitting there on Centre Court or Number One Court as I have now done many times in my fortunate life.

Borg beat Nastase in straights – having beaten everyone in straights that year:

In those days all the doubles finals took place on that day too, hence afternoon AND evening. We also would have watched much of:

  • Chris Evert & Martina Navratilova bt Billie Jean King & Betty Stöve – Chris Evert’s only career Wimbledon doubles title and Martina Navratilova’s very first
  • Brian Gottfried & Raúl Ramírez bt Ross Case & Geoff Masters – I particularly remember this one being a really exciting five-setter. By the end of it my mum couldn’t bear to watch. Funny the things we remember.
  • Tony Roche & Françoise Dürr bt Dick Stockton & Rosie Casals

Sunday 4 July 1976 – BAD Shalom. Hayward Gallery. Great. TV USA Bicentenary

Bad in capital letters. I think that was the death knell for my Shalom magazine project. But fear not, other media activity sprang forth that summer.

I have very fond memories of that trip to the Hayward Gallery to see the Arts Of Islam exhibition, which I found fascinating. I had just done a school history project on the early history of Islam, of course. My father was deep into art. My mother wondered why our nice Jewish family was taking so much interest in Islamic art and history. Because it is really interesting and informative, mum.

Here’s a review of that exhibition (and other aspects of that festival) from the Telegraph.

Islam Mullaly Telegraph Islam Mullaly Telegraph 10 Apr 1976 The Daily Telegraph (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

Here’s William Feaver waxing lyrical about it in the Observer.

Islam Feaver Observer Islam Feaver Observer 11 Apr 1976 The Observer (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

Monday 5 July 1976 – all OK. TV Star Trek, Panorama

Tuesday 6 July 1976 – swimming good TV Man About The House

Wednesday 7 July 1976 – swimming. Little work. TV [The Adventures Of] Robin Hood

Thursday 8 July 1976 – nice day – last. Swimming. TV Porridge

Forget the computer, it was all swimming by the penultimate day of the school year.

Friday 9 July 1976 – Broke up. All OK. Drama. TV Invisible Man, Bilko.

I have written up this piece just 48 hours after learning that our Alleyn’s School mate from our year, Mick Carroll, tragically died in a swimming accident the other day. (26 September 2026).

With so many mentions of swimming in this piece, some tongue in cheek, I considered holding off from publishing the piece for a while.

But then I remembered Mick’s wicked sense of humour, marinated no doubt in his Irish roots. I think Mick would have wanted me to publish this piece as planned, and I decided to publish it dedicated to Mick’s memory.

Earworm for early July 1976 – I’m pretty sure Mick would approve of this track too:

Guest Piece by David Wellbrook: The Long Hot Summer Of ’76 – Recollections Of A 14-Year-Old With Special Appearance By A Lunatic Frenchman, c1 July 1976

The Alleyn’s School water polo boys on a more appropriate pool mission

With many thanks to David Wellbrook for this “guest piece”, lifted (with David’s permission) from his posting in the Alleyn’s 1970s Facebook Group – worth a visit if you are able for the comments – click here.

THE LONG HOT SUMMER OF ’76 – RECOLLECTIONS OF A 14-YEAR-OLD WITH SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY A LUNATIC FRENCHMAN

It was a stormy Thursday afternoon (are there any others?). Me, myself, and three others who shall remain nameless (Chris Grant, Ben Clayson and Kevin Blythe), were chortling over Paul Hayes’ Freudian slip from earlier. He had inadvertently called Miss Lynch “Mum” and we were marvelling at how well they had kept their relationship secret and for so long. All six of us were amazed at the audacity of the lad and thoughts were now turning to the identity of the father. Bob Skelly, Percy Kingman and Mrs. Barden were put forward for consideration but we were unable to agree. Each candidate received five votes and so we were at stalemate. After much deliberation, we opted for the time-honoured tie-breaker of rock, paper, scissors and as you might have expected, it landed on tails. (Doesn’t it always?) So, decision made, Dave Stretton it was then. Let’s face it, he must have inherited his cool from somewhere.

But I digest. To our gullible Frenchman: It was around this time that Chris used to import young French boys for his amusement and this particular lost soul went by the name of Gotier. He had, I believe, been imported once before, so having met us now on more than one occasion, really ought to have known better. However, we all found ourselves down at the swimming pool. It was a natural hangout for those of us who liked to swim and play water polo and seemed even more appropriate on what was quite possibly a very hot day. Gotier was sweating profusely. I think he knew what Chris had planned for later. He kept muttering strange French words under his breath. “Baguette” was a particular favourite of his I seem to recall. Anyhow, one of us happened upon the anarchic idea of enticing Gotier to jump into the swimming pool fully clothed, and on the strict understanding that he then had to travel home with us to Beckenham et les environs completement mouille.

“How much shall we offer him?” asked Clayson. “How much do we have on us?” asked Blythe. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” enquired Grant, forever and to this day our moral compass. He perhaps felt that if there was any dampness involved it should be of his making and no other. “Yes, it’s a cracking idea,” I chipped in. “And let’s make him cry Vive la France as he goes under.”

We gathered our resources and came up with the tidy sum of £4 and a few pence. We approached the hapless Gotier with our proposal and having explained to him that with exchange rates being as they were at the time, that £4 and a few pence was uncommonly generous, he agreed.

And so the stage was set. I was elected to distract Harry Whale and Alan Berry, who at that precise moment were taking it in turns to slipper a 12-year-old, whilst the others were assigned the arduous task of pacing out Gotier’s run up. And then the moment arrived. With a Gallic scream of “Un, deux, trois, allez…!” Gotier was off, legging it poolwards as if he had not a care in the world. He leapt, he might even have somersaulted I honestly can’t remember, and there was a mighty splash followed by the gurgled incantation of “Vive la France, Vive la France.” Let’s give the boy his due. He did not let us down. Good for him. Only honourable Frenchman I’ve ever met.

Gotier was duly rewarded with his £4 and a few pence which he kindly used to buy us Maynards wine gums and Coca Cola down by Herne Hill station.

To this day, that incident (which is 100% true by the way), is my most vivid recollection of the Summer of ’76. That and being arrested for shoplifting in Millets.

Another day perhaps…

 

Three Weeks Of Project Finishing & Exams At The End Of My Third Year At Alleyn’s School, June 1976

Christopher Bangay – scored several centuries that season for Alleyn’s School

Tuesday 1 June 1976 – Worked on [Islam] project all day. TV Man About The House, Jim Cagney [The Roaring Twenties].

Wednesday 2 June 1976 – went to golf club with Auntie Winifred, great.

Thursday 3 June 1976 – Back at school OK. TV Porridge, Monty Python great.

Friday 4 June 1976 – Inspection day, hard, lugging things. Interesting though.

I’ve never been afraid of hard work but I’ve also never much enjoyed lugging things.

Saturday 5 June 1976 – all OK. Hard at work all day.

Sunday 6 June 1976 – Shalom good. JD [Jonathan Davies] kicked up fuss. Hard work later. TV D-Day, MASH.

I dread to think what Jonathan’s fuss was about. Perhaps I spiked something of his. (Article I mean, obvs.).

Monday 7 June 1976 – TV Star Trek, all ok hard work.

Tuesday 8 June 1976 – scored 1st 11 v 40’s club. Great match. Worked hard later.

Strangely, that 40’s Club match was mentioned in glowing terms when Colin Page, bless him, wrote up the cricket 1st XI’s season:

It seems there was not too much to laud that summer in cricket 1st XI terms.

Wednesday 9 June 1976 – More work. No CCF. Exams getting near.

Thursday 10 June 1976 – Worked hard on exams. TV Porridge, Monty Python.

Friday 11 June 1976 – music good. Worked hard on exams.

Saturday 12 June 1976 – all OK. Worked in afternoon. TV Black & White Minstrels.

Sunday 13 June 1976 – Gave out Edition 3 of Shalom, good. More hard work.

Monday 14 June 1976 – Chem & French Exams, OK. TV Q of S [Question Of Sport] Star Trek, work.

Tuesday 15 June 1976 – Two more exams, OK. More work TV Man [About] The house, AC [Alistair Cooke] USA, Destination U.S.A.

Wednesday 16 June 1976 – Hard exams = longest exam day.

Thursday 17 June 1976 – More exams. TV Porridge, Monty Python & 2nd Verdict

Friday 18 June 1976 – Three more exams. Difficult ones.

Saturday 19 June 1976 – No school. Founder’s Day all OK. Prepared for tomorrow’s draw.

Sunday 20 June 1976 – Grand Shalom draw = great. Andy evening.

Monday 21 June 1976 – Last exam hooray. TV Star Trek & New Western [probably The Landlord].

The Grand Shalom draw was a fundraising effort to keep the magazine going. As the magazine quite quickly fades from my diary as the summer gets under way, and other media activities take over, I suspect that “great” simply meant “covered the costs of Edition 3”.

After the exams, perhaps a different medium might be more fun?

Find out how the exams went, what else happened at school that silly season, and where my media interests went next, by staying tuned!

Alleyn’s School In Late May 1976, When, In My Case, Completing My History Project & Helping To Clear Out The RE Hut Took Precedence

RE Hut Clearance Reimagined by Nana Banana 2 -Lite, On My Instruction

Sunday 16 May 1976 – Shalom [magazine/paper] went well, worked hard. TV Who Do You Do, McCloud, MASH, That’s Life.

Monday 17 May 1976 – Hard day. TV Star Trek. Project [Islam] good.

Tuesday 18 May 1976 – Great tennis, won 6-4, 6-4 with Driscoll. TV Tommy Cooper.

Wednesday 19 May 1976 – CCF good. No water polo. Looked at slides [non channel?]

Thursday 20 May 1976 – Clearing R.E. hut of paper. TV Porridge, Monty Python, Call My Bluff.

Friday 21 May 1976 – Parents evening – masters & misses all pleased. Played at Andy’s place.

Saturday 22 May 1976 – all OK. Library. Phillips [neighbours Monty & Vivien], Mays [neighbours George & Winifred] in evening.

Sunday 23 May 1976 – new printing source (no need for stencil). TV World About Us. Crazy film [Otley]

Gosh, yes. My fears that we would need to produce mimograph stencils for our magazine were allayed by someone offering us the use of a spirit duplicator and the rather simpler spirit-masters (carbon-paper-like sheets) which were easier to type up than mimographs.

Our magazine was saved…or rather had a stay of execution…I think the readership might have been getting a bit bored of it by Issue 3. Philistines.

Monday 24 May 1976 – still clearing papers [RE hut]. TV Star Trek, Spirit of 76.

Tuesday 25 May 1976 – X [Multiple] choice exam OK. great fives & tennis (6-5, 6-5). TV D USA [Guessing Alistair Cooke’s America].

As a real tennis player these days, the score being 6-5, 6-5 looks quite normal, as real tennis is mostly played in sets that are best of 11 and quite often result 6-5. But modern tennis doesn’t normally end that way. perhaps at school we played tie-breakers at 5-5 in those days. I remember tie breakers not happening at Wimbledon until 8-8 in those days. That would have felt like a long set for kids, I suppose.

Wednesday 26 May 1976 – CCF good. More R.E. hut – not so good X choice results.

Thursday 27 May 1976 – Working on R.E. hut most of the day. TV Porridge, Monty Python, Call My Bluff.

Friday 28 May 1976 – Field Day. Drill test OK. .22 range, .303 blanks, all in all great.

Saturday 29 May 1976 – library & project morn. got 3rd edition ready. TV Winner Takes All, New Faces.

Sunday 30 May 1976 – no classes all OK. TV Opera – quite funny [Gianni Schicchi]

Monday 31 May 1976 – Worked on project [Islam]. Dad home. Nice day.

It was spring and I can still almost smell the mixture of freshness from the school grounds that spring brings, tinged with the stale smell of paper piles that had been festering in that RE Hut for many years. Some piles were positively turning to compost in there.

I have no idea what the CCF wanted to repurpose the RE hut for, but it was surely a better purpose than an old papers dump.

I provided an earworm of Fernando by Abba in the last episode. But thinking about the RE Hut clearance reminded me of another hit from that autumn/early summer. Get your anti-earworm protectors on before clicking this one:

When Fellow Pupil Sandy Rowswell Challenged Our Alleyn’s Schoolmaster Stephen “Mr Murder” Jenkins On The Veracity Of His Tales Of Visiting Tibet, Possibly Spring 1976

Stephen Jenkins was an Alleyn’s schoolmaster whose reputation preceded him. By the time my cohort entered his orbit, in the mid 1970s, he had a reputation for telling long-winded tales of psychic happenings, visits to far-flung places, UFOs, extra-sensory perception, ley lines…

…his 1977 book, The Undiscovered Country, can still be obtained from sellers of rare second hand books for under £100 at the time of writing (February 2020), a snip at the price I’m sure but I shall personally pass on that one. I’ve scraped one of the product descriptions to here in case the above link ceases to work…

…in short, he’d talk in lessons about pretty much anything other than the subject he was meant to be teaching.

“During the war…have I told you this anecdote before?…anyway…”

So why in the name of all that is good and pure was this fellow allocated to my third year class, 3BJ, to abstain from teaching us not just one but two key subjects; English and history?

Strangely and despite Stephen Jenkins contrary efforts, many of us managed to bounce back up to the A-stream after 3BJ. In my case, I ended up with Jenkins again, I think for history ‘O’Level (perhaps it was English – it really is impossible to recall what Jenkins was supposed to be teaching us) when I was in 4AT/5AT, so this anecdote about Sandy Rowswell might have happened a year or two later than I am guessing.

I should add, to avoid confusion, that the Alleyn’s Stephen Jenkins died some years ago and has nothing to do with the impressive LSE Professor of Social Policy who inadvertently shares his name.

Anyway, I clearly recall an incident in class when the Alleyn’s Stephen Jenkins was waxing lyrical about his latest trip to Tibet.

The incident has been brought back to my mind lately, because I have been Ogblogging the rather wonderful though gruelling trip that Janie and I made to Tibet in 2002 – click here or below for a sample page – feel free to read, look at the eye candy pictures and divert yourself from whatever you are supposed to be doing – it’s what Stephen Jenkins would have wanted:

Nepal, Tibet & Kerala Day Eight: Gyantse To Shigatse, 14 April 2002

In truth, I always liked Mr Jenkins’s tales of far-flung travel the best. I found the psychic and UFO stories hard to believe, I found the idea of ley-lines intriguing but unconvincing, but I did enjoy the tales from his travels. They were believable, enviable even…and I felt I was learning something useful…even if it wasn’t particularly useful for the purposes of progressing to O-level English or history.

Anyway, during a long Stephen Jenkins anecdote about his recent visit to Tibet, Sandy Rowswell chimed in by saying words to the effect of,

“sir, I don’t believe you. I don’t believe that you have ever been to Tibet.”

There was a hush in the classroom. One glance at Stephen Jenkins’s face and the self-styled sobriquet “Mr Murder” now looked very apt. Sandy Rowswell was ejected from the class and told in no uncertain terms that his punishment would be swift and merciless afterwards.

It seemed such a daft challenge to me. Of all the things Mr Jenkins waffled on about, the travels element was the only manifestly plausible aspect.

I don’t think Sandy Rowswell really got the idea of overseas travel…nor the idea of tempering one’s remarks about a subject whether one “gets it” or not.

My only other recollection of him was for another ill-considered remark, in 1979, soon after we confirmed that I was to join Anil Biltoo and his family in Mauritius that summer – a wonderful, life-changing experience for me that cemented a love of travel:

Confirmed Mauritius, The Overcrowded Barracoon, 10 April 1979

  I recall Sandy Rowswell approaching me and saying,

I hear you are going to Mauritius with Biltoo this summer?

When I confirmed that fact, Sandy Rowswell replied,

You wouldn’t catch me going to a place like that, having to stay in mud huts.

I laughed and shrugged it off, but word of this exchange must have reached Anil Biltoo from other sources, because Anil sheepishly raised the matter with me, pointing out that his family did not live in mud huts. I recall telling Anil that I really didn’t mind what sort of accommodation we’d be having.

There is a rumour that Sandy Rowswell went into the diplomatic service after leaving Alleyn’s. OK, the source of that rumour is the preceding sentence of this article, but a rumour is a rumour.

Returning to the Tibet veracity incident, I have no real reason to assume it took place on 18 May 1976, but while skimming my diary for clues, I did enjoy the entry for that day.

Great tennis won 6-4 6-4 with Driscoll.

Does that mean I beat Paul Driscoll 6-4 6-4 at singles, or does it mean that, partnering with Paul Driscoll, we beat some unfortunate others 6-4, 6-4? There is only one person in the entire world who might possibly remember the event (because I sure as hell cannot) – so I’m shouting out to Paul who will no doubt confirm a similar blank on this one. He probably doesn’t even remember that there was no water polo the next day, despite water polo having been far more his thing than mine..

But I am now digressing more than a typical Stephen Jenkins lesson. Click the link below for a chance to buy Stephen Jenkins book – you know you want to.