Author: Ian Louis Harris

Blood Wedding by Federico Garcia Lorca, Cottesloe Theatre, 14 December 1991

Gosh I thought this was very good.

I think it might have been my first experience of a Lorca play and by gosh this production of Blood Wedding was powerful.

I saw this with Bobbie.

Subsequently Janie and I both became very keen on Lorca and saw a good production of Blood Wedding at the Almeida in 2005.

But returning to this production, the Theatricalia entry for it is here. A very young Helen McCrory starred as the bride and Cyril Nri was the groom.

It seems that we saw a preview, as press night was three days after our sight of it.

Below is Michael Coveney’s review from The Observer:

Coveney On Blood WeddingCoveney On Blood Wedding Sun, Jan 5, 1992 – 41 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

I think they got their timing wrong having press night on 17 December… a rare Cottesloe opening that missed out on Michael Billington or indeed anyone from the Guardian. But in my view it was the critics who missed out on a very good production.

Becket by Jean Anouilh, Theatre Royal Haymarket, 30 November 1991

I thought this play/production was very good. I think Bobbie did too.

At the time, this medieval period was not one of my favourites, whereas now, writing in March 2020 nearly 30 years later, I have been doing a bit of my own writing (albeit fun stuff) on the topic…

Dear William, My Peformance Piece For Threadmash 5, Gladstone Arms, 5 February 2020

…so would now be better equipped with the historical backdrop.

But I digress.

I was, at that time, especially partial to a bit of Jean Anouilh, which was quite popular at that time, soon after his death.

Derek Jacobi as Becket, Robert Lindsay as Henry II. That’s a pretty decent line up and the supporting cast was pretty good too. Elijah Moshinsky (better known for opera) directed it.

Michael Billington in the Guardian admired the production for its acting and directing more than he liked the play:

Billington on BecketBillington on Becket Wed, Oct 9, 1991 – 38 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Michael Coveney in the Observer didn’t like the piece much:

Michael Coveney on BecketMichael Coveney on Becket Sun, Oct 13, 1991 – 56 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

But it isn’t about those guys, it is about what we thought…and we thought it very good. I suspect I would now agree with Billington that the thrill of this production was the acting. I wonder if I have a copy of the play somewhere so I can quickly read it again after all this time?

Bye Bye NHS, Comedy Lyric, Subsequently NewsRevue, 29 October 1991

I wrote this lyric during a bout of comedy lyric writing for no particular purpose other than to entertain friends in the very early 1990s. NewsRevue came later and indeed I later revised this one for NewsRevue.

                                                               BYE BYE NHS

                                                  (to the tune of “Bye Bye Love”)
 
 
CHORUS
 
Bye bye lab,
Bye bye surgery,
Hello misery,
I think I’m gonna cry.
 
Bye bye staff,
Bye bye NHS,
Hello stinginess,
I feel like I could die,
Goodbye Health Service goodbye.
 
VERSE 1
 
We had our baby,
In Bartholemews,
We asked “which one’s ours?”,
They said “you choose”.
 
They said “the reason,
for uncertainty,
Is lack of budget,
In maternity.
 
Bye bye love,
Bye bye pregnancy,
Hello celibacy,
I think I’m gonna cry.
 
Bye bye cap,
Bye bye IUD,
Hello vasectomy,
I think I’d rather die,
Goodbye Health Service goodbye.
 
VERSE 2
 
I need a hip joint,
But it appears,
The NHS list,
Goes back three years.
 
Now there’s a reason,
Why I’m serene,
Cos while I’m waiting,
I’m on Morphine.
 
Bye bye blood,
Bye bye saline drip,
Hello Opium trip,
I think I’m gonna cry.
 
Bye bye drugs,
Bye bye pharmacy,
Hello lunacy,
I feel like I could die,
Goodbye Health Service goodbye.
 
VERSE 3
 
They’ve called a priest in,
For the last rights,
My condition’s worsened,
Overnight.
 
With the right treatment,
I may survive,
But they can’t afford to,
Keep me alive.
 
Bye bye life,
Bye bye wakefulness,
Hello deadliness,
I think I’m gonna cry.
 
Bye bye lungs,
Bye bye artery,
Hello mortury,
I think I’m gonna die,
Goodbye Health Service goodbye,
 
Goodbye Health Service goodbye (repeat, fade).

Below is the Everly Brothers singing Bye Bye LOve with the lyrics on the screen:

In truth I cannot see any difference between the 1991 version and the version I submitted to NewsRevue in the spring of 1992. I might have just described it as an updated version. Sneaky.

Henry IV Parts One & Two by William Shakespeare, Royal Shakespeare Theatre, Part Of A Back-Aching Weekend In Stratford With Bobbie, 27 to 29 September 1991

Back in the day, when I didn’t look much like the bard, Bobbie and I were partial to a bit of Shakespeare.

This sounded like the real deal, with Robert Stephens as Falstaff and Michael Maloney as Hal. A little-known (at that time) actress Linda Bassett played Mistress Quickly and Adrian Noble directed the thing.

Besides, I had studied Henry IV Part One for my English ‘O’ Level, so obviously I knew what I was talking about.

Here is a link to the Theatricalia entry for Henry IV Part One – which we saw on Friday 27 September.

My log for Henry IV Part One reads:

Back-aching but worth it

Whereas for Henry IV Part Two, which we saw on Saturday 28 September, it reads:

Seriously back-aching but still worth it

Here is a link to the Theatricalia entry for Henry IV Part Two.

Both plays were long – hence the back ache. I was still suffering the aftermath of my multiple lower back disc prolapses the previous year.

They were very good productions though.

Below is Michael Coveney’s Observer review of Henry IV Part One:

Coveney on Henry IV Part OneCoveney on Henry IV Part One Sun, Apr 21, 1991 – 56 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Michael Billington’s take on Part One in the Guardian

Billington on Henry IV Part OneBillington on Henry IV Part One Thu, Apr 18, 1991 – 26 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Kate Kellaway’s Observer review of Part Two

Kate Kellaway on Henry Part TwoKate Kellaway on Henry Part Two Sun, Jun 2, 1991 – 72 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Here’s Michael Billington in The Guardian ecstatic about the pair after seeing Part Two

Billington On Part TwoBillington On Part Two Sat, Jun 1, 1991 – 21 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

We stayed in an unmemorable B&B on the edge of town. I vaguely recall a bossy (i.e. rule-laden) owner.

I think we ate good food. Fatty Arbuckle’s or Lambs, and then The Glory Hole, if I recall correctly. I’m pretty sure the latter on the Saturday night because Henry IV Part Two was so darned, back-achingly long, there was only one eatery in Stratford open that late in those days.

We suffered for our art, going to Stratford, back then.

Mikhail Gorbachov, Comedy Lyric, 20 September 1991

I’d started writing comedy lyrics in earnest by September 1991, pretty much just to entertain friends and rehabilitate myself after best part of a year away from much socialising when my back was so very bad.

I rather like this one still. I particular like the idea of an un-named Soviet leader who no-one remembers any more. Konstantin Chernenko he was called. Thank you, Mr Google.

MIKHAIL GORBACHOV (to the tune of "My Boy Lollipop")
CHORUSES
Mikhail Gorbachov,
Came after Yuri Andropov,
And in between their tenures,
A bloke no-one remembers.
Oh, oh,
Mikhail Gorbachov,
Severely pissed the Russians off,
The crowd in Moscow pelts him,
Preferring Boris Yeltsin.
MIDDLE BIT
I love Petersberg and Moscow so,
But I’m not rush’n to go,
I’ve never been keen on Siberian snow,
Or the Gulag Archapeligo.
BACK TO THE CHORUSES
Mikhail Gorbachov,
Has more than just a nasty cough,
He needs to spend some time ‘ere,
Convalescing in Crimea.
Oh, oh,
Mikhail Gorbachov’s,
Surrounded by Kalashnikovs,
But there is no disputin’,
This man survives like Rasputin.
Mikhail Gorbachov.

Below is Millie Small singing My Boy Lollipop with lyrics on the screen:

The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Barbican Theatre, 14 September 1991

Stellar cast for this RSC production of the great Chekhov play. Alfred Burke, Simon Russell Beale, Amanda Root, John Carlisle, Susan Fleetwood, Roger Allam…to name but a few. In the capable hands of Terry Hands.

The Theatricalia entry for this one can be found here.

Bobbie and I both enjoyed this production a lot.

I hadn’t realised that this production was Terry Hands’s swansong for the RSC, but Nicholas de Jongh made much of that fact while praising the production in The Guardian:

De Jongh on SeagullDe Jongh on Seagull Sat, Jul 13, 1991 – 21 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Napoli Milionaria by Eduardo De Filippo, Lyttelton Theatre, 24 August 1991

I recorded the following about this one:

Very good. Performed in scouse accents if I remember correctly.

I suspect that the second note had something to do with a little Bobbie annoyance at the use of scouse accents to depict Neapolitans. Ian McKellen as scouser seemed a little strange to our ears too, but of course the bloke can act. Clare Higgins as his missus, Richard Eyre directing, fine supporting cast…what’s not to like?

I think we both enjoyed the show.

Here’s the Theatricalia entry for that production.

Intriguing-sounding character, Eduardo De Filippo.

Anyway, Michael Billington was most impressed in the Guardian:

Billington on NapoliBillington on Napoli Sat, Jun 29, 1991 – 21 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Billington said it reminded him of O’Casey at his best and I think Bobbie and I formed exactly that view without having seen Billington’s comment.

Michael Coveney in The Observer also liked it a lot:

Coveney on NapoliCoveney on Napoli Sun, Jun 30, 1991 – 48 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

BCCI, Topical Lyric, 4 August 1991

Once I became ensconced with the NewsRevue writing team, I soon learnt that the use of the tune YMCA for a story about something with a four-letter acronym was gauche and inherently likely to be rejected.

But back in August 1991, when I was just starting to write humorous songs, mostly because they seemed to be popping into my head and made useful party pieces, I was unaware of such rules.

I’m not sure that Spitting Image was aware of those rules either, as I seem to recall that they especially liked this one, about the Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI).

But of course Spitting Image didn’t actually use it. No-one used it, apart from me; down the pub and on the Notting Hill dinner party circuit, when that circuit was still suitably edgy.

On re-reading the song nearly 25 years later, I do still like some of the lyrics and think some of the lines are pretty good/funny. Sadly, the sentiments around money laundering, drug money, arms money, secrecy and the super-rich getting away (metaphorically and sometimes literally) with murder, still very much apply.

Here is a link to YMCA lyrics.

Click here or below for a link to the official music video of YMCA by the Village People.

Any resemblance between the name of the defunct, corrupt bank known as BCCI, and that of the manifestly pure Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI), is purely coincidental.

♬ BCCI ♬

(To the tune of “YMCA”)

VERSE 1

Con man, there’s a place you can go,

Con man, when you’ve lifted some dough,

You can bank there, and I’m sure you will find,

Many friends with whom you’ve done time.

Con man, what’s that under you’re bed,

Con man, wads of steaming green bread,

Con man, I suggest that instead,

You invest with BCCI.

 

CHORUS 1

It’s great to bank with the BCCI,

It’s great to bank with the BCCI,

It’s not like Coutts, you don’t need to be posh,

It’s the place to launder your dosh.

It’s great to bank with the BCCI,

It’s great to bank with the BCCI,

You don’t have to be good, you don’t have to be straight,

You will get a huge interest rate.

 

VERSE 2

Gun man, you should not be pissed off,

Gun man, buy a Kalashnikov,

With a loan then, when you blow a head off,

You won’t need to cross-fire payments.

Gun man, what are you after next,

Gun man, buy a pound of Semtex,

With a card that, you are able to flex,

Buy your plastic with our plastic.

 

CHORUS 2

It’s great to bank with the BCCI,

It’s great to bank with the BCCI,

You can pay for your gun, you can make a new pal,

Called Saddam or Abu Nidal.

It’s great to bank with the BCCI,

It’s great to bank with the BCCI,

If guns for Iran isn’t quite what you want ya,

Can be debited with a Contra.

 

VERSE 3

Drug man, why don’t you take a cruise,

On the proceeds, of your sales of the blues,

To the Caymans, where the BCCI,

Will inject cash in your business.

Drug man, while you’re making your cash,

Drug man, selling kilos of hash,

You can invest, and it’s quite above board,

It’s all secret in Luxemborg.

 

CHORUS 3

It’s great to bank with the BCCI,

It’s great to bank with the BCCI,

They haven’t got decimal currency,

They’re still working in LSD,

It’s great to bank with the BCCI,

It’s great to bank with the BCCI,

This is the place for your cash from cocaine,

But you won’t see your dosh again.

 

REPEAT CHORUSES

 

FADE

 

 

Music at Oxford Fireworks Concert, Radley College, 20 July 1991

This was one of several Music At Oxford events that my old firm, BDO Consulting (aka Binder Hamlyn Management Consultants) sponsored between 1989 and 1992.

The first of them included an action-packed, cartoon-like journey to Oxford – click here or below.

Music At Oxford At The Sheldonian Theatre & Bodleian Library, 7 July 1989

The 1991 edition was a far more sedate affair – at least it was for me – as the fireworks were part of the show on this occasion.

Annalisa de Mercur accompanied me on this occasion. I think we all stayed at The Moat House, as we had done in 1990 when Caroline Freeman accompanied me.

We heard:

  • George Frideric Handel – Water Music Suite No 2 in D major HWV 349
  • Johann Pachelbel – Canon
  • Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – Serenade No 13 in G K525 “Eine Kleine Nachtmusik”
  • Johann Sebastian Bach – Brandenburg Concerto No 1 in F BWV 1046
  • Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – Horn Concerto No 4 in E Flat K495 3rd Movement
  • Malcolm Arnold – Sinfonietta No 1 for two oboes, two horns and strings
  • Samuel Barber – Adagio for Strings
  • George Frideric Handel – Music for the Royal Fireworks

Ah, in fact I have the running order from the programme:

It was quite a late evening affair, this one, with the second half not even starting until 9:45, so the fireworks must have been at what would now be deemed to be an antisocial hour.

I’m pretty sure we young consultants were discouraged from continuing our antisocial activities on our return to the hotel, so the boisterous singing |I remember from the first event I’m pretty sure simply didn’t happen this time around.

Drinking and chatting in the hotel bar almost certainly did happen, though.

I remember this one as a very pleasant and largely relaxing outing. I’m not sure I had any clients of my own there that night – perhaps one – and the relative popularity of the programme meant that my musical knowledge (such as it is) was little called-upon.

Postscript: Annalisa recalls…

Is this the one with chandeliers in the marquee and a view across the lake? If so, I remember it. Clearly, the chandeliers made more of an impression than either the music or the fireworks! Chandeliers in marquees have become pretty commonplace now, but at the time I had never seen anything like it!

Top recall, Annalisa, top recall.

The White Devil by John Webster, Olivier Theatre, 6 July 1991

My log from the time simply says:

Josette Simon was indisposed the night we went, which was a real shame.

I can now exclusively reveal that the understudy we saw instead was Souad Faress. I subsequently did get to see Josette Simon; in The Maids, a few years later. Bobbie might not have been so lucky.

I’m not sure I was wild about the play either. Jacobean tragedies don’t always float my boat and I have a feeling that I sensed that this one wasn’t entirely my cup of tea. The White Devil is heavy on courtly intrigue and light on laughs.

Fine cast as always with a National production, with Eleanor Bron and Denis Quilley as the big draw names along with Josette Simon. Philip Prowse directed. Here is the Theatricalia entry for this production.

Michael Billington was not so keen on this one, claiming that it wasted the actors:

Billington on White DevilBillington on White Devil Thu, Jun 20, 1991 – 23 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Whereas Michael Coveney loved the production:

Coveney on White DevilCoveney on White Devil Sun, Jun 23, 1991 – 61 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com