Category: Theatre

Andorra Embarrassment Story, 24 February 1978

The story of my selection, hubris, decline, fall and this production of Andorra’s resurrection can be seen by clicking here or below:

Andorra, 23, 24 & 25 February 1978

I’m pretty sure my parents came to see Andorra on the middle (Friday) night of the run. And I’m fairly sure the following dialogue (or something like it) took place on the drive home after the show.

MUM: I wasn’t very impressed by some of your school chums in the audience behind us.

ME: What happened, Mum?

MUM: Well, during the interval one of them said to his pals, “I’m looking forward to the bit where Harris has to run around the stage yelling ‘I’m not a Jew, I’m not a Jew.”  Then they were giggling.  I wasn’t going to let that pass without comment.

ME: Oh, God, Mum, what did you say to them?

MUM: I turned around and asked them why that was so funny.  One of the boys explained, “because Harris is a Jew.  But he has to run around the stage saying “I’m, not a Jew”.  Then the boys giggled some more.

ME: …and then…

MUM: I said, “I’m well aware of all that.  I’m his mother and I’ve helped him to learn his lines.  I’m just trying to understand what makes it funny.”  They went very quiet after that.

ME: Oh, Mum.  I’m going to get mercilessly teased on Monday when I get back to school.  Or worse.  Why couldn’t you just let it go?

DAD: I knew it.  I could have told you he’d be upset.

To be fair on the poor boys involved (and I do wonder who they might have been – any confessions?) it was an ironic, rather funny matter.  Indeed, with the benefit of hindsight, my casting in the role of the Innkeeper might well have been based more on my physiognomy than my stagecraft.  In any case, we cast had all had a bit of a laugh about the irony of me yelling “I’m not a Jew” during rehearsals and I saw little malice in the remarks as reported by my mum.

But to be fair on my mum, although I did get some serious ribbing on the Monday (as recorded in my diary), it was not at all to do with my mother’s intervention.  Indeed the poor boys who got my mother’s tongue-lashing were probably more embarrassed than I was about that matter.

No-one would relish a tongue lashing from my mum. Cruel spectacles and cut glass voice to go with them.

No, the ribbing I received resulted from reports of my drunkenness at the after show party on the Saturday.

As to the exact details of my ribbing-inducing party antics, I recall very little.  I do remember drinking far too much cheap party cider – a once-in-a-lifetime mistake (drinking cheap cider, not the occasional over-drinking).  I think the party was at Tiggy’s house, mostly in a rather large garage/out-house.  Or am I am confusing the Andorra party with the Twelfth Night party?…

…on reflection the Twelfth Night one, which was differently embarrassing, was held at the school, in the dining room if I recall correctly.

Twelfth Night, The Aftermath, 17 December 1978

Others who were a bit older (I was only 15-and-a-half) and a bit wiser (almost everyone else who was there) might recall the Andorra after show party better.

Still, my mother’s parental intervention was a pretty cringe-making one.

Oh mum!

The Production We Didn’t See – Entertaining Mr Sloane by Joe Orton, Duke of York Theatre, Possibly 7 July 1975

Michael Lempriere had arranged for our drama class to go and see Entertaining Mr Sloane by Joe Orton. It would have been the mid 1970s Royal Court revival production (probably the West End transfer thereof), with Beryl Reid as Kath, Malcolm McDowell as Sloane, James Ottaway as Kemp and Ronald Fraser as Eddie.

Here is a link to some good resources and reviews of that production.  Good reviews from that source, naturally.  It seems that the Spectator hated it though; a harsh paragraph at the end of a lot of stuff about other productions here.

Anyway, when my mum got wind of it that we were going to see THAT play, she went into high horse mode, for reasons I cannot quite work out. I think she just felt that we were far too young for…whatever it was…not that she really knew anything about it, other than the fact that she probably mentioned it to a friend and that friend looked horrified at the thought. perhaps a sample of two priggish friends.

Mum was probably in a grumpy mood generally at that time – she was in and out of hospital for the first half of that year, culminating in a hip replacement in May. Anyway, she decided not merely to ground me from this one – I might have got away with just minor embarrassment for that. She got on to the school and got the outing cancelled. How un-hip was that?

Several of my drama pals were mightily unimpressed with this, as was I. We were all very disappointed as much as anything else. Michael Lempriere handled the matter with great dignity I’m sure, but that couldn’t prevent the ribbing. In particular, I recall Bob Kelly giving me a hard time; not least suggesting my mother’s physical as well as behavioural similarities with Mary Whitehouse. As my mother had chosen to go down the cruel spectacles line during the mid 1970s (illustrated with a 1977 picture below) this was a difficult charge to deny.

Mum 1977

I’m not entirely sure when the theatre trip that never was should have happened. My diary is silent on the whole matter.  I am guessing it was supposed to be an after exams jolly at the end of my second year, but it might just have been a start of the next academic year jolly for our drama group. If the latter, we didn’t miss out on Ottaway and McDowell, we missed out on  Harry H. Corbett as Ed and Kenneth Cranham as Sloane.

I did eventually get to see a production of this play, but not until January 2001 at the Arts Theatre. My moral compass was not adversely affected by witnessing the play, as far as I can tell, nor was Daisy’s, although we were to be seen sunning ourselves in South-East Asia only a few weeks later…

 

Scapino, Young Vic, 23 January 1974

I started to keep a diary in January 1974.  The 23 January entry is my first record of visiting the theatre, although I went with my parents to see pantomimes and children’s shows before then.

This visit I’m sure was my first school trip to the theatre, an Alleyn’s School outing.  I think just for my class; 1S, probably Ian Sandbrook’s initiative.  It was a revival of the first production at the Young Vic Theatre, which I think therefore makes it the Young Vic’s first production as an independent theatre company.  It seems the revival was a precursor to a glittering US transfer.

All the 11 year old “critic” wrote at the time was:

“Scapino v good indeed.  Jim Dale good.  Got to bed very late.”

Yet the evening stays quite clearly in my memory.  I remember liking the patter song about Italian food and I also recall catching a plastic facsimile of a glass of wine and keeping it in a bottom drawer for years and years.  It survived many clear outs, but I think it came a cropper in the end.  Who knows, it might turn up in one of my junk boxes some day.

This Michael Billington piece about that production and the early days of the independent Young Vic is charming, click here.

This archive review from the Columbia Daily Spectator was written only a couple of months after our visit.  The late great Ian Charleson gets an honourable mention in this piece.

There is some material on this production right at the beginning of the Young Vic’s 50 year celebration on-line article – click here.

Here is a link to the Theatricalia entry for the production – whether or not some of the cast changed for the independent revival is lost in the mists of time. I think the main cast was those on the Theatricalia list.

Below is Milton Shulman’s review of the opening night, in September 1970, which he pretty much raved about:

Scapino Shulman StandardScapino Shulman Standard 14 Sep 1970, Mon Evening Standard (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

The Guardian did an Arts Diary picture piece on the p[roduction:

Scapino GuardianScapino Guardian 11 Sep 1970, Fri The Guardian Journal (Nottingham, Nottinghamshire, England) Newspapers.com

If you want to read the script on the Internet Archive, I think you might need a (free) login to borrow it but you can preview it here:

Aladdin, Streatham Odeon, c29 December 1969

Brian Whittle / Streatham High Road, summer 1978

I remember less about this panto than the Cinderella event the previous year with Dick Emery and Joe Brown:

Cinderella, Streatham Odeon, c30 December 1968

That’s probably because I enjoyed a fleeting moment of stardom in Cinderella (interviewed on stage), whereas I was overlooked in the throng of eager children during Aladdin.

In my mind, I had MET Dick Emery and would share that vignette with anyone who might listen, whereas I had merely “seen” Norman Vaughan and never warmed to the latter as a comedian…there might have been other reasons for that lack of warming of course.

As for Joe Brown and Peter Noone, my memory is mightily confused now that I have done a bit of research into these two pantos and acts. The It’s Behind You! – Pop Stars In Panto piece linked here explains a bit more. In truth, I remember Peter Noone’s performance (and Herman’s Hermits as an act) far more vividly than I remember Joe Brown’s performance or Joe Brown & The Bruvvers as an act.

I don’t remember seeing a collective of Hermits, only Peter “Herman” Noone, but the recorded history suggests a plurality of Hermits, as does a lisgting from The Observer at the time

Aladdin Listing ObserverAladdin Listing Observer 14 Dec 1969, Sun The Observer (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

Anyway…

…I do recall that one of my very early “party pieces” was to sing, I’m Henery The Eighth, I Am. No doubt encouraged by both of my parents, who were great lovers of Edwardian-style music hall.

My (possibly flawed) memory has Peter Noone singing it in Aladdin, but possibly I saw Joe Brown singing it in Cinderella instead…or as well…or neither – perhaps my parents simply taught me that song ahead of seeing one or other of those performers because my parents knew that they had famously sung that song.

The hive minds in the Streatham Balham & Tooting Memories Facebook Group on balance suggest that it was most likely Joe Brown in 1968 who performed that song.

Below is Joe Brown & The Bruvvers singing it:

While below is a vid of Peter Noone singing it with Herman’s Hermits:

Anyway, point is, possibly on the back of seeing that song performed in these pantos, it became one of my party pieces for much of my infanthood.

Then I more or less forgot about it for best part of 50 years…

…until I remembered it again and wrote an adaptation of the song, which I retitled The Thomas Gresham Nativity Song and performed for The Gresham Society…

Thomas Gresham Nativity Song, Gresham Society Soiree, 9 December 2015

…which might only be described as a mock Tudor performance piece. Well, I suppose I was a kid from a mock Tudor house in Streatham:

Mock Tudor Smarty Pants

For those especially interested in this sort of thing, below is a recording of the original music hall version of I’m Henery the Eighth, I Am, sung by Harry Champion:

Cinderella, Streatham Odeon, c30 December 1968

Image borrowed from Betty’s Birthday Blog on the “nigelthedame” website – click here – with thanks for both the image and the information about this production.

With gratitude to a posting on the Streatham,Balham & Tooting Memories Facebook Group, talking about the Streatham Odeon, I remembered going to see as a small child, Dick Emery (amongst others) in panto there. I did a bit of Googling to find out about it and found out quite a bit – not least through the blogpost linked above.

So, that year I saw Dick Emery, Joe Brown and no doubt some other names I would now recognise, in a production by Audrey Lupton & Arthur Lane.

An article on It’s Behind You! – Pop Stars In Panto, describes this aspect of Joe Brown’s performance:

In 1968 Joe was at the Odeon Streatham in Cinderella with Dick Emery. Joe played Buttons and as part of his routine to entertain Cinderella he performed a multi instrumental spot. In this he played guitar, acoustic guitar, ukulele, banjo lutes and even a mandolin!

Is it possible that my later-day love of early music and stringed instruments for the playing thereof was formed all the way back then? Unlikely as I had no memory of Joe Brown’s multi-instrumentation.

More likely is that I caught an earworm at that performance – Joe Brown singing I’m Henery The Eighth, I Am – the hive mind of the Streatham, Balham & Tooting Memories Facebook Group seems pretty sure that Joe sang that song in this panto. For sure I picked it up as a party piece when still a very small nipper – probably at my parents’ behest as they were keen Players’ Theatre-istas before my time and loved that sort of music hall song.

I have found an official review of this panto -in the Guardian – written by an un-woke eleven-year-old named Victoria Bourne:

Victoria Bourne Cinderella GuardianVictoria Bourne Cinderella Guardian 27 Dec 1968, Fri The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

The thing that made the event especially memorable for me, was being summoned onto the stage by Dick Emery himself and answering some fiendishly difficult questions in a manner that, for some reason, seemed to make the audience laugh.

This occasion might, technically, have been the first time I ever “trod the boards” personally and certainly my first interaction with a professional performer.

I was not to see my fine words dealt with by a professional performer again until 1992, when the late great Chris Stanton (coincidentally another fine comedy actor who latterly did good panto) was the first of many to perform my lyrics in NewsRevue.

Chris Stanton: Absurdist & Realist, A Personal Tribute, 9 March 2020

So why did Dick Emery pick on me for the honour of joining the cast on stage and being an unwitting, unpaid comic? The answer is lost in the mists of time.

Possibly I waved my hand and shouted “me! me!” more vigorously than anyone else. Or perhaps my mum did the vigorous waving and shouting for me. Or maybe I just looked like the sort of cocky little kid that central casting would have chosen for the role.

Cocky little Streatham kid c1968

We returned the following year to see Peter Noone and Norman Vaughan in Aladdin, but that, as they say, is another story.

Aladdin, Streatham Odeon, c29 December 1969

I didn’t get summoned to the stage that second time.

What’s become of my pantomime performing career?…

…I should have asked, that following year.

It’s behind you!…

…the audience should have shouted.

A Trio Of Firsts: My First Pictorial Appearance In A Newspaper, Almost Certainly My First Performance In A Show & “My First Girlfriend”, May 1966

My mum kept certain things and threw lots of things away. Two artefacts from an event at Nightingale survived the sands of time and mum’s occasional “mad-on” clear-outs across the decades.

The above clipping from the Jewish Chronicle is dated 27 May 1966.

Children of the Yavneh Jewish Kindergarten [based at Brixton Shule], presenting fruits for Shavuot at the Home For Aged Jews, Wandsworth [now named Nightingale House]

What a wonderful way to entrench the Jewish festival of Shavuot into the hearts and minds of the little children. Except, that, as history showed 50+ years later, it didn’t work on me and at least one other of the attendees:

A Winning Day, Culminating At Bill’s For A “Shavuot Not” BBYO Youth Club Regathering: , 1 June 2017

The Play’s The Thing…

The document below provides more detail about the event, which was presumably held a few days before the date of the newspaper notice:

A better quality picture, clearly from the same event. But Reuben Turner’s note hopes that people “will enjoy the play”. My guess is that he used a picture from the Shavuot event in his promotion letter for a play that was put on some days or weeks later.

I can only wonder at what the play might have been – perhaps a depiction of the traditional Shavuot story – The Book of Ruth.

Naomi entreating Ruth and Orpah to return to the land of Moab. William Blake, actually. Not Reubens…and not Turner

But in any case, what a cast!

The picture with Mr Turner’s letter has survived better, enabling me to identify several of the youngsters. I cannot name the adults in the picture – I’d hazard a guess that the man is Reuben Turner. The picture of the woman looks disconcertingly like my dad in drag, but I don’t think that was the case.

I am pretty sure I can name several of the kids, working from right to left…

…oy, so I must have learnt something at Yavneh…

  • Sara Monty [fairly sure] (standing);
  • Me (standing);
  • Sandra Corbman (sitting);
  • Maxine [Camlish?] (sitting);
  • Eve Cedar (standing);
  • Boy I cannot name (standing);
  • Girl I cannot name (sitting);
  • Jonathan Davies (standing);
  • Girl I cannot name (sitting);
  • Girl I cannot name (standing);
  • Jonathan Gold [fairly sure] (sitting);
  • Half a girl I can barely see, let alone name (standing).

Any help that a reader might offer to help fill in the gaps and/or pass this relic on to those who were in it would be much appreciated.

If anyone out there remembers anything at all about the show, I’d love to know. But it might well be that my love of theatre started there, 58 years ago as I write in 2024.

“My First Girlfriend”

I have very little recollection of my time at Yavneh Kindergarten, other than an impressionistic sense that I was happy there most of the time and that the experience did its job of preparing me to start school that autumn.

My only tangible memory is one that has been handed down to me by my mum, who used to take great pleasure in relating the following story in circumstances that might cause me maximum embarrassment.

One day, when my father asked me, as oft he would, to “report on the events of the day at Kindergarten”, I proudly announced:

I’ve got a girlfriend. She’s called Sandra.

When asked for more detail about my girlfriend, I stated that:

…we roll in the barrel together.

Whether my parents were able to keep a straight face at the time, and if so, how, I’ll never know.

As it happens, Sandra and I never did go out with one another, but we spent a fair chunk of our youth together through BBYO in Streatham and are still very much in touch to this day. Indeed Sandra was one of the Shavuot avoiders at our 2017 regathering and I expect to see her at the 2024 regathering about 10 days after this piece is published…

…if she is still speaking to me by then!

Update: Sandra Responds…

Brilliant stuff Ian. I also have some memories of being happy there but unfortunately I don’t remember the barrel. 😂