Guest Piece by Nigel Hinks: The Birth Of The Heavy Rollers Tradition, Edgbaston, June 1998, Including The Revelations And Acts That Led To The Birth

2023 marks the 25th anniversary of the very first Heavy Rollers day watching cricket – on 4 June 1998 – when Nigel “Father Barry” Hinks, Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett, “Big Papa Zambezi” Jeff Tye, David “David Peel” Steed & Paul “Fifth Beatle” Griffiths witnessed the first day of the test series between England & South Africa at Edgbaston.
In this guest piece, Nigel reflects on the tradition that started that day and the events that led to its birth. Questions such as “How did we get here?” and “Why curtains?” I add to the piece with theological and ethnomethodological interpretations of Nigel’s epiphany, plus, more importantly, some pictures and cricket links.
My initiation into the tradition itself was the following year, 1999 – you may see a write up of that occasion by clicking here or the link below.

The Heavy Rollers Tradition

A quarter of a century ago an early gathering of cricket enthusiasts assembled before a more buoyant South African touring side than exists currently. The tight group of participants applauded the carefully negotiated seating, oblivious to the fact that this would one day swell to eleven; the perfect accommodation arrangements (courtesy of The Children’s Society’s residential training centre) and the prospect of emergent friendships, forged through shared cricketing passions.


‘Yard’ cricket games would take place in one garden adjacent to a severe slope that would once take down Charley when in ever- increasing pursuit of a forward defensive gaining pace down the hill; and within public spaces that would entice inner-city youths to “come and have a go” in the best possible tradition. Indoor nets alongside the real thing have even been secured. No one could forget the pre-Ashes game in the garden fashioned from a farmer’s field by Big Jeff, where a surprise-addition associate walked-off with both of the tacky commemorative trophies.


Nobody could have predicted the longevity of this annual pursuit. When the familiar, and sometimes less so, would gleefully reconvene. Life’s troubles, work stresses were forgotten immediately insults, and warm greetings, began to be exchanged.


The crucial purchasing of tickets has been handed on baton-like, never once dropped until the best seats are secured. The catering responsibilities likewise, although the standards set by Mrs Malloy remain beyond any imitation, with personally labelled sandwiches for the fussy and egg-phobic in colour-coded wrapping.

Or, indeed, how this creation would withstand the accusations of elitism, vain efforts by senior personnel to muscle-in on the action, the eventual disintegration of our prized accommodation and, more poignantly, the redundancy of several Rollers.

Such was the strength, and singularity of purpose, as these cricket-friends, undeterred by adversity, toured a variety of alternative venues, some appalling and others more convivial (See links to pieces referencing Harborne Hall and The Hotel from Hell).

Beechwood Hotel Latterly Renamed But Seemingly neither Refurbished nor Reopened

Second generation Rollers have been initiated, along with some of their mates, with one or two notable “one-hit wonders” who came and went. Other respected Associates were also invited to make repeat appearances.

That First Day Of Heavy Rollers At The Cricket: 4 June 1998

Memories fade. The 1998 Heavy Rollers day is the least documented and most temporally remote, nearly 25 years later. Yet the cast of characters (five) was documented many years ago, in 2012, during our rain -ruined sojourn. The following snippets emerge from me (Ian) interviewing Nigel.

The tradition of most rollers staying overnight at Wadderton and dining together the night before the match would have been initiated. Only Paul “Fifth Beatle” Griffiths simply joined the Heavy Rollers at the ground on the day (legend has it arriving late and leaving early).

Jeff Tye’s prediction betting game was there, at least in embryonic form. Paul struggled to engage with the game realistically, either because he really had no idea how a test match day tends to pan out or perhaps as an act of rebellion against the game. But everyone else participated as best they could.

David Steed will have made a superb picnic, much like the one depicted alongside the headline of the 1999 Heavy Rollers piece (the photo actually showing David’s splendid 2003 spread). David’s picnic – in particular the wine – would no doubt have triggered the traditional Sneed snooze.

Nigel – reflecting at Wadderton, 2003 – photo by Charles

Indeed, the post-lunch wooziness that affected all Heavy Rollers who chose to imbibe might well have induced a reflective phase in Nigel’s mind. “How did we get here? What sequence of events has led to this glorious day at the cricket with friends? What might it all mean?”

The answers to those tricky questions will lead us down many thought paths and to several prior events. But if I am to deconstruct Nigel’s answer to one word, that word is “curtains”.

How A Search For Curtains Revealed The Inner Truth Of Nigel’s Faith In Cricket, January 1995

DALL-E 2 imagining: “curtains of fine woven linen and blue, purple, and scarlet thread; with artistic designs of cherubim”

On the Monday [5th day] of that January 1995 Adelaide Test, I had decided to take a little time out of the cricket to-and-froing underway at the Adelaide Oval. I had already witnessed Mike Gatting’s retirement after his final Test century, and five-ball duck; a moody Glen McGrath when not selected; Craig McDermott’s late entry after the previous evening’s dodgy crocodile dinner; plus, together with Geoff, my scouse-Aussie mate, a forceful exchange of views about Mike Atherton’s captaincy credentials with the late Tony Greig, by the wheelie-bins.

Thus I sought solace in my host’s offer…..to go shopping…..for bedroom curtains.


What possessed this decision to accompany Mercedes (Geoff’s wife), a delightful Spanish-Aussie, to buy curtains from a low-budget retail outlet in the port area of the City, will remain a mystery.

It has been suggested that accompanying Mercedes was an ideal antidote to Greg Blewett’s maiden century on debut, and 40 degree centigrade temperatures. But, curtains? For goodness sake.


The curtain spotting excursion was progressing as only these things can, until Geoff, my Scouse-Aussie mate, managed to convey (via one of those new-fangled mobile phones) something of the excitement now unfolding [at the Adelaide Oval] that would make any further curtain exploration instantly less appealing. In fairness Geoff had consistently eschewed the idea of curtain shopping and was now fully vindicated.

He made it known that we had to get to the Oval asap, as Phil De Freitas was in the process of doing something far more attention-worthy than the selection of a durable, mid-priced fabric for a teen’s [Geoff & Mercedes daughter, Carmen’s, to be specific] bedroom. Consequently, following the De Freitas wonder-knock, and equally memorable bowling from Chris Lewis and Devon Malcolm, England secured what was once a very unlikely victory.


It is here that the gossamer-thin, embryonic conception that would eventually create the Heavy Rollers begins to emerge. It was in the post match euphoria, just after David Gower added his signature to that of former captains, M J Atherton and……D A Reeve, that I promised myself that I would be witness to [at least part of] all further Ashes series when back home. To do so with cricket loving colleagues and friends would be my ambition, but just how to make it a reality didn’t yet enter my thoughts; it was still just a dream.

The Adelaide Oval some 10 years later
Interviewing Nigel some 28 years after the exciting events of the 1994/95 4th Ashes Test at the Adelaide Oval, it was clear that none of the sense of euphoria from that day has departed Nigel’s soul. It was one of those life-affirming, never-to-be-forgotten memories that remains vivid for Nigel – it was a cricket epiphany.
I have investigated Biblical references to curtains to try and understand the profound meaning of this particular epiphany. In Exodus 26, the curtains for the Tabernacle are specified in some detail.

“Moreover you shall make the tabernacle with ten curtains of fine woven linen and blue, purple, and scarlet thread; with artistic designs of cherubim you shall weave them. The length of each curtain…”

Intriguingly the very first thing that God specifies for the building of the Tabernacle is the curtains. Personally I’d start with the structural stuff, but then I couldn’t create much in six days, let alone the entire universe and all that is in it, so what do I know?
Emanuel Swedenborg believed that the significance of the “curtains” in that Exodus 26 passage is the interior truths of faith. Thus it was fitting that Nigel went in search of curtains on the morning of the 5th day of that 4th Test at Adelaide, when his faith in cricket was failing him; yet also the very day when, just a few hours later, the interior truths of his cricketing faith were revealed to him.
On the other hand, for all we know, poor Carmen – Geoff and Mercedes daughter – might never have been bought the promised curtains. Nigel neither knows nor cares whether the aborted shopping trip was ever rescheduled. Carmen’s side of this story, a sorry tale of teenage disappointment at the hands of her parents and their visitor, might be intriguing in all sorts of ways.

Here is a link to the 1994/95 4th Ashes Test at Adelaide scorecard.

Below is a 24 minute highlights package.

The Day Nigel Delivered On the First Bit Of His Self-Promise: Day One Of The 1997 Ashes, Edgbaston, 5 June 1997

A different England v Australia Day At Edgbaston around that time

The groundworks were to be dug still further in June 1997 when I made my introduction with Charley at the residential training centre [Wadderton], the venue for future Heavy Roller gatherings.

I was buoyant, if rather red-nosed, after the first day of play
at Edgbaston, when Australia had been bowled out for just 118. An exciting Test was now in motion, despite a threatened Aussie comeback with the ball.

Charley became instantly engaged with the recall, having regularly checked progress throughout the day. Devon Malcolm’s tumbling catch in the outfield to end a spirited Shane Warne fight back was specifically relived but well clear of the infamous hill-end that would claim Charley in years to come. There was still time to describe the standing rendition of D-I-S-C-O by those occupying the seats in front after every boundary.


This very first meeting with Charley, who was staying over for a more mundane work matter, led to the beginnings of a plan for the following year. We vowed to return, possibly with other enthusiasts, for the Edgbaston Test match. I confess to wondering if this expressed enthusiasm was going to be akin to a brief holiday romance, where numbers are exchanged but never acted upon.

However, Charley was true to his declaration. He was definitely up for it when it was time for me to start phoning Edgbaston ticket office for the following year’s fixture.

(Those were the distant days when phone calls to real people at places like Edgbaston’s ticket office were still possible). I secured a handful of excellent tickets. I then approached Big Jeff who was an immediate selection, as was David Steed, who managed Wadderton.

Intriguingly, I had never previously realised that Nigel met Charles for the first time, in the summer of 1997, a few weeks before I met him. It was truly fortuitous that they met in that context at Wadderton on the evening of Nigel’s return from the cricket. It really is conceivable that the Heavy Rollers might never have happened had it not been for the combined enthusiasm of Nigel and Charles seeing through on that 1997 promise to make the idea of a cricket gathering at the Edgbaston test in 1998 a reality.

Here is the scorecard for the 1997 1st Ashes Test at Edgbaston.

Below is a highlights reel for the first day of that match:

Returning To England v South Africa At Edgbaston, June 1998 And Its Aftermath

Here is a link to the scorecard from that 1998 England v South Africa test match at Edgbaston.

That whole 1998 test series was extraordinary. Here is a highlights reel for the whole series.

There would be scope for others to participate. Could there possibly be like-minded enthusiasts about? That idea following Adelaide ’95 was slowly becoming a reality it seemed.

Indeed, it was only a few weeks after that very first heavy rollers event that my “field trip” with Jeff brought me into the fold for the following year and the ensuing decades – click here or below.

As Nigel summarises it:

Such was the unqualified success of this ‘first’ episode. Despite
there being no presumption of repetition, it duly was and other stalwart Rollers were snapped up (Ian “Ged Ladd” Harris, Harish “Harsha Goble” Gohil, Nick “The Boy Malloy” Bartlett, Dan “Dan Peel” Steed) to provide illustrious and valued membership, some to this day.

That’s What We Call NewsRevue, Newsrevue Lyric, 11 January 1998

I remember being very dissatisfied with this one when I wrote it. Mike Ward from the Actor’s Workshop had suggested the idea to me, which was a good one. But it came out, in my opinion, very tired, bitchy and unfunny. It is the last NewsRevue lyric in my log and I suspect that it was the writing of this one that convinced me that I was out of ideas and needed to retire from NewsRevue lyric writing, at least temporarily, although it proved to be a permanent retirement.

There is irony in the fact that I used the tune That Is the End Of the News for the lyric that, in effect, marked the end of NewsRevue for me.

THAT’S WHAT WE CALL NEWS REVUE
(To the Tune of “That is the End of the News”)

 

INTRO 1

We are told, very loudly and often to lift up our hearts;
We are told, that good humour might soften life’s cruel old farts.
So however bad economic troubles might be,
We just lampoon our leaders and sing with glee.

VERSE 1

Heigh-ho, Blair’s mob are pains again,
New bye elections might see Tory gains again;
Word is Hague’s gay as he, like Peter Lilley,
Prefers his to hers when it comes to his willy.

VERSE 2

We’re so glad Harriet Harman,
Is screwing lone parents at rates so alarming;
We’ve now learned New Labour has more cuts than sabres,
As heartless as those Tory Blues.

MIDDLE EIGHT 1

We’re delighted,
To be able to say,
Gordon Brown is not gay,
He’s depressed;
We’re excited,
Now the pounds out of range,
Of the Euro,
It’s all for the best.

OUTRO 1

Three cheers, Jack Straw’s been trusted,
With stamping out drugs although his son’s been busted;
While Mandelson’s heaven is Brighton, not Devon,
And that’s what we call News Revue.

 

INTRO 2

We are told ghastly jokes in the City when drinking in bars,
We are told that it’s charming and witty to mimic the stars;
So when fortune gives them a cup of hemlock to quaff,
We perform songs and sketches and laugh laugh laugh.

VERSE 3

Heigh-ho, Prodigy’s fearful,
We wish that Oasis were slightly more cheerful;
With Spice Girls these days getting booed off the stage, it,
Appears Pulp themselves need some help, they’re so aged;

VERSE 4

Now don’t laugh at poor Mrs Merton,
But nor do her viewers, that’s her final curtain;
The lovers of draggage, prefer Lily Savage,
It must be her splendid hair-dos.

MIDDLE EIGHT 2

Winning days, see,
Greg Rosetsky win games,
He’s as English as mounties and moose;
Football’s crazy,
Gazza beats up his dames,
But he’s gentle compared with “The Juice”.

OUTRO 2

What fun, Paula Yates’ tippled,
They say Posh Spice has a new ring through her nipple;
Now she’s got seven,
While Mel has eleven,
And that’s what we call News Revue,
Yes that’s what we call News Revue.

Below is a video of Joyce Grenfell singing That Is the End Of The News – I cannot find Noel Coward’s original on the web:

Click here for the lyrics to that Is the End Of the News.

Beef Bones, NewsRevue Lyric, 11 January 1998

Jack Cunningham was the Minister of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food. I had a bit of a thing about the beef-on-the-bone ban – as reported in an earlier piece – click here – which resulted in my spleen being vented in the Daily Telegraph of all dreadful places:

Beef On The Bone Risk Compared With Christmas Risk, Z/Yen Public Relations Stunt, 5 December 1997

Then I resorted to NewsRevue lyric on the topic.

BEEF BONES
(To the Tune of “Dry Bones”)

INTRO

Jack Cunningham cried “dem beef bones”,
Jack Cunningham cried “dem beef bones”,
Jack Cunningham cried “dem beef bones”,
Now hear the word of “The Doc”.

Jack Cunningham banned all of dem beef bones,
Jack Cunningham banned all of dem beef bones,
Jack Cunningham banned all of dem beef bones,
Now hear the word of the law.

VERSE 1

The tail bone’s connected to the back bone,
The back bone’s connected to the head bone,
The head bone’s connected to the prion,
The prion’s connected to the BSE,
The BSE’s connected to the CJD,
The CJD’s connected to the export ban,
The export ban’s connected to the Euro man,
The Euro man’s connected to the bureaucrat,
The bureaucrat’s connected to the science rat,
The science rat’s injected with the beef bone,

So here’s the cause of the ban.

OUTRO

Dem bans, dem bans, beef bone bans,
Dem bans, dem bans, beef bone bans,
Dem bans, dem bans, beef bone bans,
So here’s a true loony law.

Disobey dem bans, beef bone bans,
Disobey dem bans, beef bone bans,
Disobey dem bans, beef bone bans,
And stuff the word of the law,
Stuff the word of the law.

Below are the Delta Rhythm Boys singing Dry Bones:

Click here for the lyrics to Dry Bones.

Submission To Andy Coleman & Dan Clark Re NewsRevue, 11 January 1998

Andy Coleman / Dan Clark
News Revue
11 January 1998

Dear Andy/Dan

I enclose my new/unused material together with a tape of the sounds.

If you want any of my “archive material” rewritten or some tweaks to the enclosed songs, let me know. Also, if there are any subjects which you feel desperately need a song – give us a call.

Good luck and I look forward to seeing you soon.

Ian

Song Title
Original Title/
Artist Approx.. No. of weeks performed at Canal Cafe
7+ 4-6 1-3 New
geoffrey robinson
mrs robinson / simon and garfunkle N
that’s what we call news revue that is the end of the news / (noel coward) performers unknown N
beef bones dry bones / fred waring and the pennsylvanians N
gaudy dames
gaudete / medaeival baebes N
spin talk wizard
pinball wizard / who N

Geoffrey Robinson, NewsRevue Lyric, 9 January 1998

Geoffrey Robinson was the Paymaster General in Tony Blair’s first government. He lost that job in late 1998 over the Peter Mandelson home loan scandal covered by version two of the lyric below. 

Coincidentally, that Mandelson home was a few blocks away from my flat; I still go past it on my way to the health club and for some time back then Mandelson himself was to be seen there.

GEOFFREY ROBINSON
(To the Tune of “Mrs Robinson”)

CHORUS 1
So here’s to you, Geoffrey Robinson,
Tony loves you more than you will know (wo, wo, wo);
What’s that you say, Geoffrey Robinson?
Havens hold a place for those who pay (hey, hey, hey, hey hey hey).

VERSE 1
We’d like to know a little bit about you for our files,
We’re glad that you have learned to help yourself;
Look around and you will see unsympathetic eyes,
In the treasury, where you feel so at home.

CHORUS 2
What’s in your past, Geoffrey Robinson?
Madam Bourgeois loved you as we know (ho, ho, ho);
Down on your knees, Geoffrey Robinson,
God knows what you’ve licked to earn your pay (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey).

VERSE 2
Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes,
Stuck away in Guernsey in your trust funds;
It’s a little secret, just the Robinson’s affair,
Most of all you’ve got to hide it from the press

CHORUS 3
Coo coo catchoo, Geoffrey Robinson,
Money sticks to you as we all know (wo, wo, wo);
Rolling in cash, Geoffrey Robinson,
Vested offshore in a tax free way (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey).

VERSE 3
Sitting in your mansion on a Sunday afternoon,
Going to the conference debate;
Laugh about it, shout about it, when loop holes are lax,
Only little people need pay tax.

OUTRO
You’re not quite like John deLorean,
At least he built a factory or two (woo, woo, woo);
We’ve news for you, Geoffrey Robinson,
Gordon Brown has ways to make you pay (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey).

I also wrote an update of this one 22 December 1998:

GEOFFREY ROBINSON VERSION 2
(To the Tune of “Mrs Robinson”)

CHORUS 1
So here’s to you, Geoffrey Robinson,
Tony loves you more than you will know (wo, wo, wo);
What’s that you say, Geoffrey Robinson?
Havens hold a place for those who pay (hey, hey, hey, hey hey hey).

VERSE 1
We’d like to know a little bit about you for our files,
We’re glad that you have learned to help yourself;
Look around and you will see unsympathetic eyes,
In the treasury, where you feel so at home.

CHORUS 2
What’s in your past, Geoffrey Robinson?
Madam Bourgeois loved you as we know (ho, ho, ho);
Down on your knees, Geoffrey Robinson,
God knows what you’ve licked to earn your pay (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey).

VERSE 2
Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes,
Stuck away in Guernsey in your trust funds;
It’s a little secret, just the Robinson’s affair,
Most of all you’ve got to hide it from the press

CHORUS 3
Coo coo catchoo, Geoffrey Robinson,
Money sticks to you as we all know (wo, wo, wo);
Rolling in cash, Geoffrey Robinson,
Vested offshore in a tax free way (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey).

VERSE 3
Sitting in your mansion on a Sunday afternoon,
Going to the conference debate;
Laugh about it, shout about it, when loop holes are lax,
Only little people need pay tax.

OUTRO
Who’s your fat friend, Peter Mandelson?
Geoffrey bought a lovely house for you (woo, woo, woo);
It’s just on loan, Peter Mandelson,
Geoffrey will find ways to make you pay (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey).

Below is Simon & Garfunkel singing Mrs Robinson:

Click here for the lyrics to Mrs Robinson.

Gaudy Dames, NewsRevue Lyric, 9 January 1998

Mediæval Bæbes was a bit of a thing back then. Janie and I were just starting to take a real interest in early music around that time. I bought their debut album, Salva Nos.

But there was something about this commercialised form of mediæval music that bothered me, so I gave The Bæbes the NewsRevue lyric treatment.

GAUDY DAMES
(To the Tune of “Gaudete”)

CHORUS 1

Gaudy dames, gaudy dames some sing soprano,
We are named Medieval Baebes, gaudy dames;
Gaudy dames, gaudy dames, some sing contralto,
Sensuous poses, low cut drapes, gaudy dames.

VERSE 1

We’re a bunch of choir girls who have shot to stardom;
We’re as pure and virginal as a Turkish harem.

CHORUS 2

Blowsy dames, blowsy dames, who sing in plain chant,
We’re like Spice Girls minus spice, blowsy dames;
Cows may say, cows may say that we’ve had implants,
Torture post-medieval ways, cows may say.

VERSE 2

All of us are Virgin girls signed to Branson’s kingdom;
Hope he makes his duff balloons elsewhere than his condoms.

CHORUS 3

Lousy pay, lousy pay now we are pop stars,
We’re still paid medieval rates, lousy pay;
God may say, God may say we sing like angels,
But its hell to hear us rant, God may say.

VERSE 3

We can all be photographed so we look like lovelies;
Tho’ without a special lens look like teletubbies.

OUTRO

Cow like shapes, cow like shapes, not that you’d notice,
Clever angled camera takes, cow like shapes;
Gawd the strain, gawd the strain stuck in this corset,
Thumb screws would seem like a break, gawd the strain.

Below is a version of Gaudete performed by the Choir of Clare College Cambridge:

Click here for lyrics to the carol Gaudete.

Beef On The Bone Risk Compared With Christmas Risk, Z/Yen Public Relations Stunt, 5 December 1997

A government ban on the sale of beef-on-the-bone, in late 1997, was very unpopular. The worry was “Mad Cow Disease” or variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease in humans, although the connection and risks seemed very low to many of us.

I wrote a tongue-in-cheek press release for Z/Yen, which you can read by clicking here…

…or, if by chance the Z/Yen archive goes awry before Ogblog does, I have scraped that piece to here.

In truth, it was written more as a personal rant and internal Z/Yen team joke for Christmas that year than anything that I thought might really generate press, but strangely the Daily Telegraph picked up on it, called me for a chat about it and then published this piece – extracted onto the then nascent Z/Yen web site here...

…or, if by chance the Z/Yen archive goes awry before Ogblog does, I have scraped that piece to here.

The beef-on-the-bone ban was lifted in time for Christmas (1999) – so never let it be said that I have no influence.

Submission To Andy Coleman Re NewsRevue, 29 November 1997

Andy Coleman
News Revue
29 November 1997

Dear Andy

Glad to learn that you are doing the Christmas show and that you have gathered a great sounding cast.

I attach 1997 material which, in my opinion, has “best of” potential. I have recordings of all of these, so if you need recordings just let me know and I’ll drop them in to the Canal. (The Cafe, of course, not the actual wet place).

If you want any updates or rewrites (the attached material or other stuff of mine which you like) let me know.

Good luck and I look forward to seeing you soon.

Ian Harris

Spin Talk Wizard, NewsRevue Lyric, 27 October 1997

I think Peter Mandelson was the main target of this lyric, although the connection between that 1997 Labour Government and spin doctoring more generally was fast becoming evident.

I don’t remember this lyric being used, but I was attending the show a lot less by then.

SPIN TALK WIZARD
(To the Tune of “Pinball Wizard”)

 

VERSE 1

Ever since I was a young man, I’ve addressed the Labour halls,
From Blackpool down to Brighton, I must have roused them all;
But I ain’t seen no-one like him, his tongue’s shaped like a fork;
That slime Peter Mandelson, sure plays a mean spin talk.

VERSE 2

Stands like a statue, he’s the heart of Blair’s machine,
Not one hair’s misplaced cos, he always wears Brylcream;
Spins with intuition, the Tories take a walk,
That geek Peter Mandelson, sure gives a mean spin talk.

CHORUS 1

He’s the Blair spin doctor,
There has to be a twist,
That Blair spin doctor,
Knows how to use his wrist.

MIDDLE EIGHT

How do you think he does it?
(Pure bullshit),
In Armani suits.

VERSE 3 – PETER MANDELSON HIMSELF

Even on their favourite subjects, Tories lose my twist,
My disciples lead me in, even ‘tho’ they don’t exist;
I’m a future Labour leader, anyone can see;
‘Tho’ that damned Trot Ken Livingstone, got on the NEC.

CHORUS 3

He’s the Blair spin doctor,
It has to be a joke;
Cos that Blair spin doctor is,
Such a twisted bloke.

MANDELSON: They mean that in the most positive way. BLACKOUT

The video below has The Who playing Pinball Wizard with the lyrics on the screen:

Submission To Jaspre Bark Re NewsRevue, 27 October 1997

Jaspre Bark
News Revue
27 September 1997
By Fax

Dear Jaspre

Sorry it has taken me a wee while to respond to your message, but I haven’t been around. I enclose one or two rewrites and some new/unused material.

If you want any other older ones rewritten let me know. Also, if you need recordings of any of these, please call and leave a message today – I could drop them crack of dawn tomorrow at the Canal if you need them.

Good luck and I look forward to seeing you soon.

Ian

The following songs are attached

Song Title
Original Title/
Artist Approx.. No. of weeks performed at Canal Cafe
7+ 4-6 1-3 New
gordon brown golden brown / stranglers N
spin talk wizard pinball wizard / who N
vulture in the wind candle in the wind / elton john N
smoke gets in your isles smoke gets in your eyes / bryan ferry 4-6
taliban carrie anne / hollies N
me and paula jones me and mrs jones / billy paul N
feng shui whip crack away N
ffion rave on / buddy holly 1-3
bruce grobbelar’s hat young, gifted and black / bob & marcia N
jack straw my name is jack / manfred mann N
hooray for bollywood hooray for hollywood N
monserrat monster mash / bruce “boris” pickett 1-3

I know the note itself is dated 27 September, but all the temporal evidence including the electronic evidence suggests that this really was written and delivered in late October.