The Walls (Las Paredes) by Griselda Gambaro, Orange Tree Room, 13 November 1993

This was the third of just three productions Janie and I saw together in The Orange Tree Room (the original Orange Tree above the pub) before that super space closed down. For just a short while, the Orange Tree ran the purpose built theatre and the room.

The other two were:

Of the three, I for some reason I only retained the “programme” (sheet of paper) for The Belle.

This so frustrating, because this production of The Walls was superb – we were spellbound by it. But sadly (unlike Saigon Rose) it doesn’t seem to have been reviewed – or at least not by any resources available on-line.

I have managed, by detective work, to determine that the play we saw is a translation of Las Paredes by Griselda Gambaro.

By Sara Facio (Revista Argentina 1970) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

I have managed to find a review of a more recent production of this play in DC – click here or below:

Las Paredes (The Walls)

As the above review is pretty much all I can find on this play, I have also scraped it to here for just in case.

That review gives you a feel for the play and the production we saw, which tried (with a very limited budget and space) to create that increasingly claustrophobic feeling and did so very well.

I wish I could record who was in it and who directed/designed the production at the Orange Tree Room because it really was excellent in our book.

Perhaps the Orange Tree has an archive into which I can delve at some point.

Janie and I saw this production just before we set off for our first big holiday, to China and Bali. I remember we talked about this play/production a lot and for a long time.

Of all the leaflets to mislay…but perhaps they had run out of leaflets. The Orange Tree Room was on its way out by then; what a pity.

If anyone reading this posting has any information about the production, please let me know through the comments or message system.

Postscript: Newspapers.com allowed me to find the following clipping from The Guardian – appropriately with a typo in the second word of the main text!

The Walls ListingThe Walls Listing Sat, Nov 20, 1993 – 218 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

1993 Autumn Budget Mini-Opera Based On Various Tunes From Oliver!, NewsRevue Lyrics, 8 November 1993

On the whole I remember the better of my lyrics well and have forgotten some of the less interesting ones. But just occasionally I surprise myself and this mini-opera falls into that category.

The conceit of these lyrics was to speculate a few weeks before the Autumn Budget as to its possible content.

Not only am I immensely proud of these lyrics on rereading them in April 2019, but I recall what a stunning job John Random and his NewsRevue cast did with this piece.

Ken Clarke, then Chancellor and the central villain of the mini-opera, is, 25 years later, seen as a voice of Tory moderation. Times change, to some extent. Yet the closing number seems as apt today as it did in 1993.

_ 1993 AUTUMN BUDGET RUN UP MINI OPERA _

(To various tunes from “Oliver”)
 
FOOD TAXABLE FOOD (tax inspector’s chorus to “Food Glorious Food”)
 
If we tax the sick and poor, will they live to 84?
Lets put V.A.T. on fu-el;
When they can’t pay off their loans, put them into paupers homes,
Then we’ll also tax their gru-el;
Duty on crusts, every crumb shall be fined, till they beg or they borrow or cadge;
Then charge more for prescriptions, when they get the flu, then we’ll tax funerals, just imagine:
 
Food taxable food,
VAT putting the lamp on;
Tax songs that are crude,
Excise a large tampon;
Huge levies on orange juice,
That’s normal in Denmark;
Which fruit was let on the loose?
Must be Ken Clarke……
(‘ere ‘ee comes fellers; the Clarkful Bodger)
 
I’M REVIEWING THIS NEW TAXATION (Ken Clarke is “Reviewing the Situation”)
 
I’m reviewing this new taxation,
I’m a lawyer and my sums are not so good;
With my budget for reinflation,
I should tax the rich and be like Robin Hood.
 
Cos I have the autonomy,
To fuck up the economy,
So don’t expect much bon hommie,
On budget day from John or me,
I’ll tax the wealthy hopefully,
But then they might not vote for me;
(thinks)….I think I’d better think it out again.
 
CON EVERYONE BUT THE RICH (tax inspector’s chorus to “Consider Yourself”)
 
Con everyone but the rich,
Con everyone who’s not a Conservative,
We’ve burdened the poor so long,
It’s clear, we’re, doing the numbers wrong;
See if yer chancella’s la-di-da or uppity,
Tax yer cup of tea ‘n’all;
But there’s a chance that Ken will end up at number ten,
‘less the Tory party falls.
Con everyone but your mate,
The poor never vote for us,
So after fiscal legislation Ken can state,
KEN:Con everyone not one of us.

Below is Food Glorious Food from Oliver! with the lyrics on the screen:

Below is Ron Moody singing Reviewing The Situation:

Here is a link to Reviewing The Situation lyrics.

Below is Consider Yourself from Oliver!

Here is a link to Consider Yourself lyrics.

Mr Director by Fay Weldon, Orange Tree Theatre, 6 November 1993

We took Pauline with us to this revival of Fay Weldon’s Mr Director at the Orange Tree.

I think we were all a little underwhelmed by the play, but never mind.

We went to Don Fernando afterwards. There’s a good chance we had paella there, as Janie made some notes in her diary about waiting times for same in Don Fernando.

I don’t think anyone argued or passed out or anything dramatic on this occasion.

Underwhelming drama all round.

Panto Act, Written For Ben Murphy, 2 November 1993

Ben Murphy must have asked for material along these lines and I must have written this. Reading between the lines, he was playing Baron Hardup in Rhyl. This short set is a mish mosh of:

I don’t think anyone will be telling their grandchildren about this one.

_ PANTO ACT _

(Ian’s wierd attempt to write panto material)
 
SHAGGY BARON (Ugly Duckling)
 
There once was a shaggy Baron,
With whiskers all stubbly and grey;
And the audience,
Yelled “Ben you are dense,
But find a song to play.
Sing a song,
Sing sing a song,
Sing sing a song today.”
 
[Perhaps insist that children yell the sing sing stuff and refuse to continue until they have done so loud enough etc]
 
FILLER 1
 
Oh alright then.  As you asked so nicely.  The only thing is, I am a very poor Baron.  Baron Hardup.  So I have to travel all over the country singing nasty songs to try to scrape a living.  Do you mind if I sing you nasty songs?   Really?   Are you sure?  See if you can work out who I am now.
 
BETTER FACE (Heal The World)
 
There’s a mug that you see on your TV frequently,
‘Though I look differently I’m Michael Jackson;
It may be a surprise ‘cos you may not recognise,
The new bits that my plastic surgeon tacks on.
I may have a face lift, a nose job or a skin shift,
To have a better face and a different race.
 
Every year, I’m gonna have a better face,
Both my eyes and my nose will be in a different place;
Now my cheeks need grouting,
And my lips have been fixed pouting,
It’s the strangest face that you’ve ever seen.
 
FILLER 2
 
I like children.  Really I do.  Hey kids; what’s orange and sounds like a parrot?  A carrot.  Kids, you’ll have to sing along to the next song.  Here we go. 
 
IF I HAD A STAMMER (If I had a hammer)
 
Oohh oohh, oohh, oohh, oohh oohh, oohh, oohh,
Oohh oohh, oohh, oohh, oohh oohh, oohh, oohh;
If I had a stammer,
I’d stammer in the morning,
I’d s s s s s s;
 
FILLER 3
 
This next one’s a slower number for all you parents out there.
 
MARIO (Maria)
 
Mario, I’ve just bought my kids a Nintendo,
And suddenly that game, seems boring and seems tame, to them;
Mario, I am singing this in the wrong key-o,
And suddenly each note, is catching in my throat badly;
Mario, in one day my kids clocked your new meter,
Now they’re bored sitting watching Blue Peter;
Mario, how I wish that your upgrades were free-o.
 
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG (Nellie the Elephant)
 
Sonic the hedgehog has packed his punch,
And made a pile for the Sega,
Off he goes with a jumpety jump jump jump jump.
 
FILLER 4
 
Do you like Take That?  I can’t hear you.  Do you like Take That?  Pardon?  etc
 
TAKE THAT FANS PANTO (Teddy Bear’s Picinic)
 
If you go down to the pantomime you’re in for a big surprise,
If you go down to the pantomime you’d better go in disguise;
For every kid that’s sitting in Rhyl,
Is sure Take That are totally brill,
Today’s the day the Take That fans go to panto.
 
IT ONLY TOOK FIVE MINUTES KIDS (It only took a minute girl)
 
It only took five minutes, kids,
To write this act,
And gosh it shows,
It only took five minutes kids…..
 
Goodnight!!

Below is Danny Kaye singing the Ugly Duckling Song with lyrics on the screen:

Below is the song Maria with lyrics on screen:

Below is Mandy Miller singing Nellie The Elephant:

This link shows the lyrics to Nellie the Elephant.

Below is It Only Takes A Minute sung by Take That! with lyrics on the screen.

Submission To Jonathan Linsley’s 1993 Christmas Run, 31 October 1993




LIST OF SONGS SUBMITTED AND TAPE TRACK LISTING

JONATHEN LINSLEY XMAS 1993 RUN
 
Dear Jonathen
 
I enclose your fun pack “best of 1993” lyrics and tape.  I have included the ones you requested plus a few others for you to consider.  They are all 1993 songs and most of them had successful runs during the year.  There are also one or two new ones that might interest you, including the “Oh what a year” opening number that I sent you a few weeks ago.
 
I am only around for another 10 days or so and then I am away for several weeks, so please let me know if there are any others that you want or any rewriting that you wish to discuss.  I should be at the writers meetings 4 Nov and 11 Nov before I go, or you may try to reach me by phone on the above number.
 
See you soon.

Hysteria by Terry Johnson, Royal Court Theatre, 29 October 1993

This was a very interesting play about a meeting between Sigmund Freud and Salvador Dali. We both really enjoyed it.

Here is the Wikipedia entry for the play.

Here is the Theatricalia entry.

Super cast, with Henry Goodman as Freud, Tim Potter as Dali. Phyllida Lloyd directed this production, which was the premier.

The play has oft been revived since.

Here is Michael Billington’s review from the Guardian:

Billington on HysteriaBillington on Hysteria Mon, Sep 6, 1993 – 25 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Michael Coveney’s review – not so keen:

Coveney on HysteriaCoveney on Hysteria Sun, Sep 12, 1993 – 49 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

We rounded off our evening with Chinese food from The Park Inn. Quite right too.

The diary suggests that we planned to have Marianne and Anil over for dinner the next evening, the Saturday, but Anil doesn’t get beyond a question mark and Janie is sure she has never met him, so my guess is that the whole idea fell though.

Penis In Blue Jeans, NewsRevue Lyric, 29 October 1993

I can only assume that this lyric was triggered by some silly news story about men being exploited by the fashion industry.

I don’t think it was used but it does have one or two good lines in it.

                                                   _ PENIS IN BLUE JEANS _

                                (To the Tune of “Venus in Blue Jeans”)
 
INTRO – MELVYN BRAGG
 
Good evening and welcome to the South Bank Show.  Politics and the performing arts.  Tonight we welcome Ivor Tripod.  Through his songs, Ivor argues that performers are exploited by powerful, faceless corporations.  His first song tonight is a scathing polemic about the exploitation of men by the denim trouser industry.
 
(Enter female chorus)La la, la la la, la la la la, la la;
(Enter well endowed male singer) La da, da de da, da de de da, dee dum;
 
VERSE 1
 
My penis in blue jeans,
Macho Levis with a pony tail;
See the action in your swimming pools,
Of my cue and snooker balls.
 
VERSE 2
 
My Penis in blue jeans,
Outlined in a range of underwear;
Denim Wranglers can’t prevent the pain,
When horse-dragged cross the plain.
 
MIDDLE BIT
 
There’s more than seven wonders in the world,
Because my friend is number eight;
To keep my golden wonder neatly curled,
I must not masturbate…
 
VERSE 3
 
…my Penis in blue jeans,
Is a massively uplifting sight;
My pitch increases more and more,
(strains for the last few notes) These jeans are much too tight.

Below is Mark Wynter singing Venus In Blue Jeans with the lyrics on the screen:

Raping Drunks Is Hard To Do, NewsRevue Lyric (Probably Unused), 26 October 1993

Tough topic to try to cover, this and I’m not too sure what point I was trying to make or what news story triggered it. Presumably some confusion at a major university somewhere over what to do about drunken students who didn’t know what they had done, with whom and/or how consensual whatever it was might have been.

Mercifully, I don’t think the lyric was used.

_ RAPING DRUNKS IS HARD TO DO _

(To the Tune of “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do”)

INTRO/BACKING REFRAIN THROUGHOUT – COLLEGE DONS

Clear the college town too-tee-too town town,

Send the buggers down doo-dee-doo down down,

Wear a silly gown goo-gee-goo gown gown,

Raping drunks is hard to do.

VERSE 1 – THE BOY

They say our love was not p.c.,

When we were at University;

You’re a girl that I once knew,

For taking pot and sniffing glue.

VERSE 2 – THE GIRL

Remember when we got so tight,

I stayed with you all through the night;

Can’t recall what I went through,

But waking up was hard to do.

MIDDLE BIT – ALTERNATELY

BOY:You know that making love is hard to do,

GIRL:When you’re both as pissed as a newt;

BOY:(looks down) Don’t say that this is me end,

GIRL:Instead of making love I think we may be throwing up again.

VERSE 3 – THE BOY

I beg of U-niversity,

Please don’t add to my adversity,

College court’s a kangaroo,

Cos raping drunks is hard to prove.

OUTRO – COLLEGE DONS

Clear the college town too-tee-too town town,

Send the buggers down doo-dee-doo down down,

Wear a silly gown goo-gee-goo gown gown,

Raping drunks is hard to do.

Below is a video of Neil Sedaka singing Breaking Up Is Hard To Do with the lyrics on the screen:

Moonlight by Harold Pinter, Almeida Theatre, 23 October 1993

Yes, yes, yes! We thought this was a really, really good night at the theatre.

I’d long been a Pinter fan. Janie wasn’t really familiar with his work, but Janie made the running for this night at the Almeida, booking us the front row seats we craved for that place (still do) and jotting down all the details. 90 minutes without an interval. Seats A7 & A8.

This play/production was our first sighting of Pinter together.

I think we ran into Ivan Shakespeare again that night; volunteering for the Almeida selling programmes.

Here is the Theatricalia entry for this play/production.

Here is the Wikipedia entry, which shows who did what etc. What a cast it was too. Claire Skinner, Ian Holm, Anna Massey, Michael Sheen, Douglas Hodge, Jill Johnson and Edward de Souza – directed by David Leveaux.

Below is Michael Coveney’s review:

Michael Coveney MoonlightMichael Coveney Moonlight Sun, Sep 12, 1993 – 49 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Michael Billington’s review was on the front page of the Guradian – how often does that happen? Along with a luvvie-fest piece (I’m glad we weren’t there that night and a continuation on Page 18.

Billington MoonlightBillington Moonlight Wed, Sep 8, 1993 – 1 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Billington continued on Page 18:

Billington Moonlight ContinuedBillington Moonlight Continued Wed, Sep 8, 1993 – 18 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Also in the Guardian, an Anna Massey interview about Moonlight. Anna Massey went on to become one of Janie’s regular clients, but Janie didn’t yet know her when we saw Moonlight.

Anna Massey MoonlightAnna Massey Moonlight Thu, Sep 9, 1993 – 35 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

We stayed at mine by the looks of it. I think I probably cooked, given the short play and my having been in the West End on the Friday.

Anyway, it was a fabulous, memorable night at the theatre.

Submission To John Random’s NewsRevue Run, 23 October 1993

To my regret and subsequently also to Random’s, this submission did not succeed in placing one of my favourite songs, She’s So Moral (about Mother Teresa) – click here for the song lyrics.

LIST OF SONGS SUBMITTED AND TAPE TRACK LISTING

JOHN RANDOM NOVEMBER 1993 RUN
 
Dear John
 
I enclose your starter pack of lyrics and tape for my offerings.  The pack includes some rewrites of older ones and some that have been cruelly overlooked before but still have life in them.  I haven’t included any chestnuts from earlier runs, but if you want one that you remember, just let me know.
 
Please do call me and let me know if you are short of any subjects or styles and I shall try to oblige.  Also, if any of these need a bit of rewrite then I shall be happy to change them on request.
 
I shall try to write some new ones for you over the next 10 days or so if the inspiration comes.
 
See you soon.