John White – Page 7 – Ian Louis Harris

The Northcote Arms, Followed By Leyton Orient v Torquay United, With John White & Others, 21 March 1992

I think I only went on one occasion to join John White and his mates watching The O’s (Leyton Orient Football Club) on a Saturday afternoon.

I have uncovered a diary entry on 21 March 1992 which reads:

1.30 Northcote
Johnboy Soccer

This must be the one.

So our afternoon started in The Northcote…

…no, not THAT pub in Northcote Road near my dad’s old Clapham Junction shop – don’t be stupid…what use would that be ahead of an O’s home match?

The Northcote Arms, Leyton. I’m hoping that John and his mates will forgive me if I remember little about the pub at that time. It was a pub. It served beer. The beer was palatable, at least to the extent that I imagine that we all drank more than one pint before heading off to Brisbane Road.

The other thing we did while in the pub was to plot my admission to the ground. You see, unlike Lord’s, where I welcome guests into any part of the ground as long as they are suitably attired…

…at that time, at Brisbane Road, in theory, the members terrace was for members only. An exclusive place…

…ah, with a fine cricketing heritage. That might explain something.

There were a few of us – forgive me again I cannot remember all of the attendees that day. Me and John (obvs), Nick (central to my memory of this part of the story), Arnold I am pretty sure, plus a couple of other people.

The cunning plan was for one member of the party, once through the turnstile, to pass his membership card back out to one of the other members in our group, who would relay the pass to me and I would thus gain entry to the members area. No bar codes in those days. No electronic barrier. Just a ticket-lady and an old-fashioned turnstile.

This device was going according to plan until Nick, who was just ahead of me in the relay, dropped the pass and ended up scrambling on the ground for it in full sight of the turnstile lady.

Nick looked up, with a look of fear on his face, at which the ticket-lady said:

I’m sure I’ve told you lads before – we don’t mind you bringing the occasional friend in with you, if you want.

Nick’s look of fear turned to a look of shame as she smiled and stewarded us all through to the members terrace.

The members terrace looked little different from the other terraces and the stands, which were rather sparsely populated. There was a pocket of a few hundred Torquay fans on the other side.

I remember us all procuring a paper cup with piping hot brown liquid which, I was assured, was tea. This helped to keep us warm on a cold day for a few minutes at least. I think we might have repeated the tea-hand-and-gut-warming process a couple of times during the match.

In those days Leyton Orient was in a division known as League 3, which I believe might have been known as The Fourth Division “back in the day” and is now known as League Two. You see how a popular sport like Association Football keeps these matters simple, whereas cricket insists on complicating things.

I conducted a quick head count of the crowd and arrived at a total of 3,636. Not bad. I also very clearly remember that The Os won the match 2-0, much to the delight of John and his mates…

…OK, I remember none of those details, but I was able to look up the result…and the attendance figure.

I don’t remember what we did after the match, but I suspect that a return visit to The Northcote Arms or a different pub of similar quality might have formed part of the aftermath.

So much did I enjoy the afternoon, I surely said that I would like to join them again some time at another match. I surely meant it when I said it and writing now, some 28 years later, I still think I might like to go to a football match again at some point in the future.

John Sitton, doyen of Leyton Orient in that era although, as it happens, exiled to Slough during the season of my visit.

Man Beast And Virtue by Luigi Pirandello, Cottesloe Theatre, 7 October 1989

My log says “little recollection” for this one, so I guess it didn’t make a big impression. Bobbie was with me.

Pirandello is one of those playwrights whose work I want to like more than actually do like. Or perhaps it is more accurate to say that I tend to enjoy reading his plays, because the ideas are fascinating, but many of them are difficult to produce in an entertaining way – at least to the eyes of the modern audience.

Man, Beast And Virtue is an early Pirandello, written in 1919 (100 years ago as I write in 2019), about two years before his breakthrough play, Six Characters In Search Of An Author.

A relatively straightforward, slightly farcical, love-triangle piece, there is a synopsis of the 1950s film version, in somewhat broken English at the time of writing, on Wikipedia.

Trevor Eve played Paolino, the lover, Terence Rigby played Captain Perella and Marion Bailey (best known for her Mike Leigh connections both professionally and privately) played Mrs Perella. William Gaskill directed. Charles Wood had written a new adaptation of the play fro this production. A fine supporting cast too – here is the Theatricalia entry.

So did all that research just now bring the experience flooding back to me? Ever so slightly yes…but basically no.

Probably not really my type of play. I do recall the setting being very imaginative and a sense that I felt entertained for the evening.

Below is Michael Billington’s Guardian review:

Billington on Man Beast Sat, Sep 9, 1989 – 21 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Michael Ratcliffe in The Observer thought little of it:

Ratcliffe on Man Beast Sun, Sep 10, 1989 – 46 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Perhaps Bobbie remembers something more about it?

Huis Clos by Jean-Paul Sartre, Lyric Studio, 5 August 1989

John White loves a bit of existential angst, so what could be a better choice for a Saturday night out than Huis Clos? Mandy was up for it. Annalisa was up for it. Off we went to the Lyric Hammersmith – the small Studio theatre there.

The play is set in hell, which is said to be a hot place.

It really was o-t ‘ot that evening. Clammy August and naturally the air conditioning system in the Studio wasn’t working.

Here’s my database/diary note for this evening:

The air conditioning had broken down on one of the hottest days of the year. The Lyric gave us all free squash in the interval because it was so bad. It did make the play about hell truly multi-sensory. The line “it’s so hot in here” had the whole audience in stitches.

You don’t need to take my word for this. Here’s a link to a review from “The Stage”. As Maureen Paton puts it in that review:

…the oven-temperature heat in the Studio does the rest. Hell is too many other people in the audience on a hot night.

Still, we had a good evening as far as I can recall and all four of us dined out on that story for some time. Indeed John still seems to be talking about it as I write in October 2016, as John’s comment on my piece about I, Daniel Blake – click here – confirms.

The rest of the programme follows – heck it was quite a job this evening to dig it out, so I thought I might as well scan the lot while I was at it.

Listings Huis Clos Fri, Aug 4, 1989 – 30 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Huis Clos Listing Mon, Aug 7, 1989 – 35 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

John & Mandy & B For Dinner, 4 February 1989

I think my hieroglyphic for 4 February reads:

John & Mandy meal +B

…which I take to mean that John and Mandy and Bobbie came over to Clanricarde Gardens and I cooked them dinner.

I suspect that this was John & Mandy’s first visit there, so perhaps one or both of them remember the occasion better than i do.

John has so far signally failed to respond to my request for him to remember what he and I did a few weeks earlier:

Dinner With John White, 11 January 1989

…despite the fact that I can’t remember and cannot read my own handwriting. Infuriating.

My guess is that on 4 February I probably cooked something East Asian, although it might have been Southern Asian cuisine for that crowd.

Thoughts most welcome.

Dinner With John White, 11 January 1989

John’s a good fellow. John will be able to read my hieroglyphics.

If John is unable to read my hieroglyphics, he will nevertheless remember the occasion vividly and remind me where we went that evening and what we did/ate.

Or if by some fluke John cannot remember exactly what we did a mere 29 years ago, I’m sure his diary will reveal more secrets about the evening than mine.

We met at 6:30 in the evening. I can say that with authority.

I didn’t stumble across this page while looking for something else and think “wtf does that say”…I really did, very specifically want to write up that particular evening…honest guv.

The preceding week, the only item of note was my visit to mum and dad’s place for dinner on the Saturday. My surge of social activity between completing my accountancy finals and settling down at Binders replaced by a more austere “work hard” lifestyle. Not least because I didn’t have that much spare dosh at first, with most of my pay going on rent and driving lessons to pay for. Must have done something for new years eve I’d have thought, but it’s not recorded, so lost in the mists of time.

Left My Job At Newman Harris, Moved To Clanricarde Gardens And Started Work For Binder Hamlyn Management Consultants, 18 November to 1 December 1988

The end of 1988 was a momentous time for me. I’ll have quite a lot to write about those weeks on Ogblog.

The brace of events I am recalling in this piece, reflecting briefly on that time thirty years later, are the core happenings. I changed job and moved house within the space of a couple of weeks.

Clanricarde Gardens

A few doors down, picture linked from (and clickable to) Philip Wilkinson’s wonderful blog piece about our street

There is a superb blog piece about our street by Philip Wilkinson – click here.

I shall write up my flat hunting experience on a separate piece in the coming weeks. Suffice it to say here that my Clanricarde Gardens flat was the first place I saw and that I liked it straight away.

It was only the fact that I had nothing with which to compare it that kept me flat hunting for several more days. I have some interesting yarns to tell about some of the other places I saw. I asked to take a second look at Clanricarde Gardens on the Thursday and took Bobbie Scully with me to help me decide. “What are you waiting for? Just take it,” is a reasonable paraphrase of her sound judgement.

By way of context, I should explain that I was renting, not buying in late 1988. Some friends at that time thought I was bonkers by not jumping on the home ownership bandwagon “before it is too late”. But then some friends suffered some serious negative equity for several years after jumping on that bandwagon when it peaked back then.

Unusually, when I decided it was time for me to buy, in 1999, it was also an opportune time for the owners to sell, so I was able to buy the flat I had been renting for over 10 years. Try before you buy.

From Newman Harris To Binder Hamlyn Management Consultants (BHMC)

Again, I shall write more in separate pieces about these events over the coming weeks.

With the benefit of hindsight, taking just eight working days off between jobs with a view to:

finding a flat to rent;
moving into that flat;
learning to drive;
seeing friends and family in relatively large quantity;
going to plenty of theatre & stuff;
doing exam marking for Financial Training to help pay for all that…

…was a little ambitious, to say the least.

I rather like my only diary note on the day I started at BHMC:

Started at BHMC today – drink at lunchtime

Frankly, I probably needed a drink after that fortnight. But what a very 1980’s tradition for a new joiner at a City firm – the drink at lunchtime.

BHMC soon changed its name to BDO Consulting (BDOC). Five-and-a-half years after I joined the firm, Binder Hamlyn “merged” with Arthur Andersen (AA) and I concluded that the latter firm would not like my hairstyle. Michael Mainelli, who had not recruited me to BHMC but with whom I was mostly working by then, felt similarly about not wanting to persevere in Andersens, although not for hairstyle reasons…

…and thus Z/Yen was born.

I don’t remember meeting Michael on that first day or two at Binders – my memory of meeting him really starts at the Christmas lunch on 14 December. But Michael is pretty sure that he at the very least spent a few minutes saying “hi & bye” to me (probably to check that I didn’t have two heads or something) before packing me off the following week on a tough assignment with Save The Children Fund…from which the rest is history.

Reflecting On Those Weeks And Events

Further, when I look at my diaries and see what else I did during those momentous weeks, I still see many familiar names and activities.

Here are just two examples.

I went to Jacquie and Len’s place for dinner with Caroline on 30 November 1988. Janie and I are going to dinner at Jacquie’s tonight (1 December 2018) and only a couple of days ago, Caroline got in touch to arrange a get together.

27 November 1988, had John, Mandy, Ali, Valerie and Bobbie to lunch

I’m still in touch with most of them and am seeing John on Monday.

Those two momentous things I did in late 1988 have in essence been sustained for thirty years and still going. Also many of the people who were central to my being back then are still there too.

So I shall soon write up the many and various events of those frantic weeks.

Some of the tales will be about characters who entered my life only fleetingly – such as Larry the Drummer, the larger-than-life character I met through the Streatham Hill Driving School people, who became Larry the Man With A Van to help me move.

But some stories will benefit from the reflections of those people with whom I am still very much in touch.

And although, if I recall correctly, Michael Mainelli and I didn’t actually meet until I had been at the firm for a couple of weeks…

…1 December 1988 was, technically speaking, the date we started working together. So happy thirtieth anniversary, Michael.

A Busy Weekend Socialising, Hoity-Toitying At The National Theatre And Setting Up My New Flat, 25 to 27 November 1988

Celebrated clinching the deal for the flat with Bobbie on the Friday evening, starting with an early evening visit to the National Theatre to see a platform talk about Kenneth Tynan. I think those Platform things were a new idea that autumn…an idea that is now more than 30 years old. Our first one had been Tony Sher some weeks earlier.

This Kenneth Tynan one was in the Cottesloe and was a really interesting, varied panel: Adrian Mitchell, Jonathan Miller, Edward Petherbridge, Kathleen Tynan and Irving Wardle.

As the diary says (if you can read it) we went on to the Archduke afterwards for dinner.

On the Saturday I collected the keys to Clanricarde Gardens and did some shopping. I remember spending more than a few bob in Tylers (which was up on Westbourne Grove back then) – I probably still have one or two of the items I bought that day – I’m pretty sure I am still on my first clothes horse, for example.

I also bought food for the Sunday, but the crowd that visited that day – John, Mandy, Ali Dabbs, Valerie and Bobbie would all have traipsed to Woodfield Avenue for that meal – I must have shlepped the grub from Notting Hill to Streatham Hill on the Saturday evening – the new flat was not yet fit for habitation.

What did I cook that day? Can’t remember. Bound to have been Chinese and/or South-East Asian food though…just possibly Southern Asian for that crowd. It would have been good, whatever it was, though I say so myself. I must have been knackered by the Sunday, though. What a week it had been.

Minutes of a Strange Meeting From 10 June 1985, Typed Up 30 December 1985

I have published the hand-written version of these “minutes” under the date of the “meeting”.

Here is the typed up version, scanned from what I think must be carbon copies. Is there anyone else left on the planet who remembers what carbon copies were?

I guess I prepared these for our glorious return visit in January 1986 for the traditional UGM/AGM thingie.

After The Hackgrass Reveal…Later That Same Day…A Strange Sort of Committee Meeting, 10 June 1985

Hackgrass Reveal in Pub Circ, Keele, 10 June 1985

On top of my Hackgrass reveal antics on our last morning in office, it seems we held some sort of bogus committee meeting later in the afternoon. More a symposium than a mere meeting, by the looks of it.

It looks as though I completed the minutes that December, ahead of our January 1986 appearance at the UGM I shouldn’t wonder, so I’ll publish the typed version at that date. The hand-written version that follows must have been part-written on the day and then concluded later.

Looks as though my Daily Mail rebuttal might have been around the same time.

Experts at handwriting analysis forensics might be able to work out exactly what went on. John White – I suggest you might choose not to apply for this role, if your attempt at the Hackgrass cypher is anything to go by.

Hackgrass Reveal in Pub Circ, Keele, 10 June 1985

When signing out Hackgrass from Concourse in February 1985, I left my name hidden in a not very complex code of initials in the final sentence of that piece.Hackgrass Signs Out, Concourse The Juicy Bits, February 1985 Part Two

Hackgrass Signs Out, Concourse The Juicy Bits, February 1985 Part Two

Most of my fellow committee members didn’t know that I was Hackgrass. Indeed the only person on the committee who did know was Pete Wild, as the only people still at Keele who did know my identity were my remaining former Barnes L54 flatmates (hence Pete), Petra Wilson and Annalisa de Mercur.

For the last day of our office as sabbaticals, I wrote a final Hackgrass one-pager and revealed myself to the lovely Pat Borsky in the print room. (As Hackgrass, I mean; please retain some decorum and concentrate, dear reader). Pat agreed to print the one-pager as a publicity circular (pub. circ.) special and the rest is history.

The one-pager caused more than a bit of a stir that day in students’ union circles. I thought best to lie low in my office.

Soon enough, John White plonked himself in my office with pub. circ. and a copy of the February Concourse, saying that he wanted to break the code.

I said that I didn’t much care who Hackgrass was and that I wanted to finish off some work, as I was still very busy.

John laboured with the puzzle for some time in my office, concocting some highly convoluted theories such as:

a=1…z=26, reverse the number series and rework the letters

Once I got irritated enough, I suggested to John that whoever Hackgrass was, he or she probably wasn’t that sophisticated a cipher-wright, so John might be better off trying something really simple like the initial letters of the words in the sentence.

About 10 seconds later, I received an unrepeatable (indeed forgettable) stream of invective from John. I have forgiven him for the invective and I believe he has forgiven me for keeping my identity as Hackgrass a secret during our sabbatical year.

Post script – John White has left an extensive comment on the above few paragraphs, but for reasons known only to himself (perhaps cognitive dissonance between a need to vent his spleen in public while simultaneously hoping no-one will find and read the venting) has posted the comment on a different posting – click here to read both posting and comment.

In all the excitement, I don’t seem to have kept a copy of the printed pub. circ. itself, but I do have the original text, a scan of which follows.

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