The Heavy Rollers Witness Ashes Cricket Together For The First Time, Edgbaston, 5 & 6 July 2001

Yes, the big fuss is for that little urn. Do you have a problem with this?

In November 2000, there will have been an outbreak of joy in several households, not least mine, when we received the following missive from Nigel Hinks:

Just to confirm that despite “unprecedented interest” (Warwickshire CC) TICKETS have been secured in usual places (Priory Stand Row A 12-17) for the above.

Cost of £67 (32 Thursday+35 Friday). Payable as soon as you like………

Haven’t yet spoken with David. No assumptions about Wadderton or indeed David as ‘catering manager’. Just book it in the diaries and look at it throughout the winter months!!!

Nigel

Needless to say, Wadderton & David Steed’s catering management came through.

The team of Heavy Rollers for those six seats reverted to the 1999 contingent, listed again here with the nicknames allocated some years later (apart from mine, which had been around for years):

  • Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett;
  • Nigel “Father Barry” Hinks;
  • “Big Papa Zambezi” Jeff Tye;
  • David “David Peel” Steed;
  • Nick “The Boy Malloy” Bartlett (like me, a 1999 initiate);
  • Me “Ged Ladd”.

The mists of time have left a mystery, nay even controversy, surrounding the absence of Nick Bartlett in 2000. I’ll leave that debate for others to argue out in articles other than this one…or possibly in court if the debate gets too adversarial.

Differently controversially, my team of mascots, which had included Henry The Duck & Hippity the Green Bunny in 2000, was increased by the addition of Bananarama Monkey-Face in 2001.

Bananarama Monkey-face in 2004, no doubt “in care” having been rescued from Jeff’s clutches

Daisy & I were adopted by Bananarama Monkey-Face in Pickering in July 2000.
This image from his post trauma writing phase in 2014.

In many ways this 2001 visit was the first true manifestation of Nigel Hinks’s curtains-induced vision of watching Ashes cricket at a regular meet with friends.

I don’t suppose that Nigel’s 1995 vision included duck, bunny & monkey mascots, but that simply shows that revelations of that kind only reveal part of the future story. It also shows that, to some extent, you should always beware what you wish for, even if it is something as wonderful and enduring as The Heavy Rollers.

Actually it was Jeff Tye who seemed least pleased with the mascot contingent and took some pains over the forthcoming years to ease them out of the picture.

Many of us had a sense of foreboding about the 2001 Ashes, despite the seeming opposite from some of us in the November 2000 e-mail bants:

Jeff: What a prospect – the tide has turned – England 480 for 8 after 2days in Pakistan – just imagine the score after 2 days against Australia at Edgbaston – the book is already open Charles !!!!

Me: I just hope those Aussies can last two whole days.

Chas: I do not wish to sound unpatriotic, but the Aussies will give us the most extreme test of our cricketing abilities!

Our sense of foreboding was more than justified. Here is the match scorecard. The sense that England might somehow be in with a shout dissipated soon after lunch on Day One.

I’m pretty sure this was the match at which Charles managed to persuade some autograph-hunting youngsters that Nick was Andrew Flintoff, watching with us from the front row of the Priory Stand.

Nick Bartlett

Freddie Flintoff

You can see for yourselves above that this must have been an easy scam to pull off, especially with Nick ‘s poker face showing no sign whatsoever that this was a lark.

Nevertheless, a few dopey kids lined up and collected Nick’s forgery of Freddie Flintoff’s autograph.

Frankly, I think Charles might easily have passed himself off as Freddie Flintoff at that time. Again, judge for yourselves.

Freddie Flintoff setting a field

Charles Bartlett setting a field

Joking apart, and despite the fact that the memories of these matches, writing them up more than 20 years later, are quite faded, I do recall that we had a superb time yet again.

I also recall that, on the Friday afternoon, I popped out to the loo, anticipating an hour or so more of play, but when I came out of the loo the heavens had opened and everyone was pouring out of the stands. Nigel very kindly gathered up my things, rescuing Henry, Hippity and Bananarama-Monkey-Face from what could have been a very soggy demise.

As well as rescuing “my boys”, Nigel must also have rescued Jeff Tye’s “betting sheets” for the prediction game, which ended up in my hands for computation that year – perhaps for the first time but certainly not the last. Those relics remain with me to this day – here they are:

Unmistakably you can see Jeff’s templates with Jeff’s writing all over them…until you get to the computations which are in my trademark scrawl. I note that the going rate at that time was just 20p per punter per line.

I think several people had brought cars with them to the church grounds near Edgbaston Stadium with a view to driving home from the ground on the second day. Nigel kindly took me to the railway station on his way out of town. Our correspondence that weekend (I peppered his e-mail with comments):

Nigel: Hope you got home ok. Friday. We experienced the most amazing flooding in suburban Harborne after we dropped you off.


Me: Hope it didn’t hold you up too much – I got home c20.40


Nigel: Ah well we got the best couple of days and possibly the day of the series.


Me: almost certainly


Nigel: Shame about the collapse today again. But what a knock from Gilchrist who you fancied….just as well he didn’t get in on Friday!

Me: Yup

By November 2001, though, we were lining up for a breach of tradition in 2002. Nigel again:

Dear Jeff, Ian, David, Charles and Nick,

We agreed, I think, unanimously that we won’t resume our traditional places at Edgbaston this coming year given that it is taking place in May.


However some mutterings abound for us to up sticks and try Trent Bridge.


This would be for 8th and 9th August, in Nottingham, against India (2nd Test) and it would mean adding in some accommodation costs if we do the 2 days.

So, before I do anything, could you let me know if you are interested.

How did that all pan out? Well, unless you can remember, you’ll simply have to await the next exciting episode to find out.

The Children’s Society v Z/Yen Cricket Match, Regent’s Park, 28 June 2001

Who is wearing the brighter whites? Chas or Ged?

A memorable match in many ways.

Charles “Charley the Gent Malloy” Bartlett and I had sloped off to the nets a couple of times ahead of this fixture, if I remember correctly. The tuition paid dividends for both of us. We both achieved scores of 20 not out (retired).

But…

…on this one occasion on Regent’s Park, Z/Yen was to prevail.

David Highton, with his reliable medium paced dobble-bowling, took a hat-trick for Z/Yen, ripping the heart out of the Children’s Society batting line up.

Charles kept his pads on, as the “retired not out” batsman was permitted to resume if the innings would otherwise be complete.

On resumption, Chas somehow managed to lob the simplest of catches to me at midwicket.

“Tell anyone about that catch and Tony The Tarantula will pay you a visit. He knows where you live, know what I mean?”

I wrote to Chas early the next day, a long and rather dull e-mail about work stuff, in which I concluded:

Look forward to seeing you Wednesday – oh and I have not yet told [anyone] about the dolly catch.

Chas replied that morning with one of the worst, laugh-out-loud excuses for a dismissal I have ever read:

As I recall I was being verbally abused by some of your close-in fielders – and to my dismay some of my own team on the sidelines!

In an attempt to satisfy everyone (low scoring but wickets tumbling around me!) and finding it almost impossible to get a bat near any ball. Wides, no balls and balls trickling along the ground. I attempted a pull shot to leg, only to be temporarily blinded by a shinning white vision, which turned out to be Ian’s brand new cricket whites!!

That is pretty much as I remember it!!

That “e-conversation has since been immortalised on the King Cricket website -a mere 23 years after the event:

If anything were ever to befall King Cricket, you can read that piece here.

One other vital matter that emerges from this piece of cricket archaeology is proof positive – we might call it silicon dating – that I bought my cricket troos that spring, 2001, confirming that they are significantly older than England cricketer Rehan Ahmed, which was a matter of some conjecture and debate in King Cricket circles when that lad had his debut. Indeed they are older than I suspected when I estimated 2002 or 2003 as the purchase date.

Here are the scorecards from that historic and seminal 2001 match, which Z/Yen won by a smidgeon – 4 runs:

The Shape of Things by Neil LaBute, Almeida Theatre At King’s Cross, 25 May 2001

Superb.

That was my one word log entry for this one, which both of us o indeed remember as superb. We were deep into Neil LaBute back then and might still be if he was still writing plays like this one.

Add to that Almeida quality of production and four fine actors: Rachel Weisz, Paul Rudd, Gretchen Mol and Frederick Weller – it wasn’t going to go wrong. I don’t normally approve of playwrights directing their own work, but Neil LaBute was actually very good at doing the director’s job with his own material.

Here is a link to the Thetaricalia entry.

A rare visit to the Almeida on a Friday for us – it was a bank holiday weekend and we had little else on, so I think this will only have come down to getting good seats for a preview.

Here’s what the critics had to say best part of a week after we had seen it. Charles Spencer was very impressed in The Telegraph:

Shape Spencer Telegraph Shape Spencer Telegraph 1 Jun 2001 The Daily Telegraph (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

#Susannah Clapp was less sure, but still heaped praise:

Shape Clapp Observer Shape Clapp Observer 3 Jun 2001 The Observer (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

Our friend Michael Billington was not so sure:

Shape Billington Guardian Shape Billington Guardian 31 May 2001 The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

Indeed, this analytical piece form The Guardian suggest that tis piece divided the critics. The stuff we like best often does:

Shape Guardian analysis Shape Guardian analysis 9 Jun 2001 The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

England v Pakistan Test Match With Janie & The Duchess, Day Two, Lord’s, 18 May 2001

This was the first of several occasions I treated The Duchess, Daisy’s (Janie’s) mum, as well as Janie, to a day at the Lord’s test match.

My diary tells me that I booked The Tavern Concourse for this day, which suggests to me that this match – basically part of a warm up mini series ahead of that summer’s Ashes – had not sold well to the members, so an opportunity arose for the hoi polloi (as I then was – not even a member of Middlesex yet) to snap up some decent seats. Ironically, these days, as a member, I tend to choose to sit in that “despised” members area precisely because it tends populated by cricket loving members & friends, many of whom are also my tennis pals.

Returning to May 2001, I no doubt had made The Duchess envious with talk of my new-found test cricket pals and exploits the previous season…

…which she had enjoyed, with me and Janie from the other side of Marylebone at the end of the Lord’s test:

Anyway, I scored three tickets for the Friday of the England v Pakistan test of 2001, little knowing that Day Two would in effect become Day One, as the first day was a washout.

In 2001, washouts at Lord’s could still easily spill into the second day, as this was before the laying of the wonderful modern drainage system, which I think was done some 18 months later.

But we were in luck. The weather improved, Lord’s properly dried out, and we got a full day of cricket.

Phew.

Because it would have been my fault had we not got much or any cricket.

Not only that, but we saw England do rather well, albeit going slowly, losing only four wickets in the day. We saw Michael Atherton, Marcus Trescothick, Nasser Hussein, Michael Vaughan and Graham Thorpe all score runs. Thorpe’s innings was the highlight. We even saw Ryan Sidebottom score four as nightwatchman.

The Duchess no doubt told us many times over that Howard had been a MEMBER of the MCC at Lord’s and that she would have hung out with him the pavilion if only they had allowed in women. Instead, she hung out with him in the Tavern at Lord’s – this stand where we are sitting used to be the actual front of The Tavern you know…and of course she would always be with Howard in the pavilion at the Oval, where they would frequently have a drink with people like Dennis [Compton], Ted [Dexter], Peter [May], Ken [Barrington], Tony [Locke], Jim [Laker], The Bedser Twins, Keith [Miller], Ray [Lindwall], Neil [Harvey] and of course dear, dear Richie…

…I hope I’m not boring you all, dear readers.

“…and another thing…”

Janie’s LA Cabs receipt from that day is, for reasons unknown, still in her diary. £25 to pick up The Duchess, then pick up us, and take us all to Lord’s.

Here’s the scorecard from that match, which England won convincingly.

Translations by Brian Friel, Questors Theatre, 12 May 2001

Another Saturday evening at The Questors with Janie’s mum, The Duchess.

The commercial arrangements for the evening will have been scrupulously fair:

  • The Duchess will have done The Questors tickets – we found out many years later she got a certain number of guest freebies per year with her subscription which she scrupulously deployed on us;
  • Janie and I will have done the interval drinks and dinner afterwards. On this occasion we went to Monty’s in Ealing – a place where you could get a late night tandoori or ruby and the Duchess would be allowed as many “last smokes” as she fancied without us being thrown out.

As always, The Questors will have been a very acceptable quality of production – the top end of am dram; semi-professional really.

And as always, The Questors has an exceptional archive – far better than most professional theatres, enabling you, dear reader, to read all about it, including the whole programme, without additional help from me, by clicking this link.

Marriage Play & Finding The Sun by Edward Albee, Cottesloe Theatre, 5 May 2001

Janie and I have a very clear memory of the opening of Marriage Play, in which Bill Paterson’s character, Jack, repeatedly taunts his wife, played by Sheila Gish, with the phrase “I’m leaving you”. It’s a bit “Who’s Afraid…” meets “Dances of Death”, I suppose. But we both recall really enjoying Marriage Play, while we thought a lot less of the second half’s short play, Finding The Sun.

What did the critics think?

Our friend, Michael Billington, was not wild about the evening as a whole, much preferring Marriage Play:

Marriage Billington Guardian Marriage Billington Guardian 9 May 2001 The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

Charles Spencer seems to have seen it similarly, while gushing even more about Sheila Gish and Bill Paterson.

Marriage Spencer Telegraph Marriage Spencer Telegraph 10 May 2001 The Daily Telegraph (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

Nicholas de Jongh, on the other hand, was much taken by both plays, even preferring Finding The Sun:

Marriage de Jongh Standard Marriage de Jongh Standard 9 May 2001 Evening Standard (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

Earlier that day, Janie and I had warmed up for our evening at the theatre by seeing Greta for massage (in my case) and pilates in Janie’s case.

Buried Alive by Philip Osment, Hampstead Theatre, 27 April 2001

Janie and I thought this one was:

Good.

A fine cast, including Jane Arnfield, Louise Bush, Paul Higgins, Michelle Joseph, Veronica Roberts, John Ramm, Simon Trinder, Al Nedjari, and Gary Lilburn, directed by Mike Alfreds.

Our friend, Michael Billington, was not so impressed, praising the acting but not the play, awarding a rare, mere, two stars:

Buried Billington Guardian Buried Billington Guardian 23 Apr 2001 The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

Nicholas de Jongh described it as “disappointing” and awarded a dreaded Standard blob:

Buried de Jongh Standard Buried de Jongh Standard 23 Apr 2001 Evening Standard (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

Unusually, Janie & I agreed with Charles Spencer more than Billington on this one:

Buried Spencer Telegraph Buried Spencer Telegraph 27 Apr 2001 The Daily Telegraph (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

I guess we could fall for “the oldest of reactionary canards” occasionally, especially when we went to the theatre after an early Friday evening supper at Harry Morgans.

The following day we went to Kim’s birthday party, which would for sure have lightened our mood after that dark play.

Tales From Hollywood by Christopher Hampton, Donmar Warehouse, 21 April 2001

We saw a preview of this production, which I gave a one word review in my log:

Excellent.

It was memorably good.

Charles Spencer in The Telegraph clearly liked it a lot:

Hollywood Spencer Telegraph Hollywood Spencer Telegraph 3 May 2001 The Daily Telegraph (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

Nicholas de Jongh in The Standard also reviewed it positively:

Hollywood de Jongh Standard Hollywood de Jongh Standard 2 May 2001 Evening Standard (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

Our friend Michael Billington was with us (opinion-wise) on this one too:

Hollywood Billington Guardian Hollywood Billington Guardian 2 May 2001 The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

Daniel Hope & Friends, Wigmore Hall, 16 April 2001

I think I booked this one because of the Weill/Brecht. I really like the songs from The Threepenny Opera and you don’t often see them on the Wigmore Hall listings. Janie likes a bit of Shostakovich, so we thought we’d give it a try.

The concert comprised:

  • Alfred Schnittke – Sonata No 1 for Violin and Piano
  • Dmitri Shostakovich – Sonata for Violin and Piano Op 134
  • Maurice Ravel  – Kaddish
  • William Walton – Sonata for Violin and Piano
  • Kurt Weill, Simon Mulligan & Bertolt Brecht – Songs from “The Threepenny Opera”

In truth, I think this concert convinced us that 20th century music, on the whole, is not for us.

Here’s the first movement of the Schnittke, to give you an idea:

Try the last movement of the Shostakovich

I do recall rather liking the Kaddish, which I hadn’t heard before:

Here’s the first movement of the Walton:

Finally, here is a link to a more recent recording by David Frühwirth & Henri Sigfridsson, which I think is a similar sound to that of Hope & Mulligan doing the Threepenny Opera thing, although I think Hope and Mulligan were a bit more jazzy.

Clean by Clare Duffy, & Static by Chris Thorpe, Riverside Studio 3, 12 April 2001

Two short plays at The Riverside.

In truth, 25 years later, I remember little about this evening and/or these plays.

Unusual for us to go to the theatre on a Thursday evening, so something must have inspired us to do that. Possibly the secure knowledge that after my Washington trip the week before, Passover at my parent’s place the preceding weekend, and dinner with Anthea and Mitchell arranged for the next day, this would be our only chance to see this production. I’ll write some more about the Washington trip and those other events elsewhere, when the time feels right.

Still, something else must have inspired us to choose this twinning of short plays by writers we hadn’t heard of, with cast and creatives we also hadn’t heard of.

Theatricalia can’t help me with this one.

To the rescue, Mark Cook with this preview in The Guardian.

Static Cook Guardian Static Cook Guardian 7 Apr 2001 The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

Also to the rescue, Patrick Marmion in The Standard. This pretty good review, published the very evening we went:

Static Marmion Standard Static Marmion Standard 12 Apr 2001 Evening Standard (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com